Divergent Dreams
by racchelle
Summary: AU Sometimes Fate gives a little helping hand and sometimes it gives a big push. Ennis gets a big push and for once in his life, something comes to his hand easy. But knowing what he has and how to keep it may be harder than he thinks.
1. Prologue

Divergent Dreams

Prologue

I awoke slowly from the depths of my dream  
and realized quickly that life  
isn't always what it seems.  
The day emerges out of darkness  
and the trees outside are silhouetted  
black against the bone colored sky  
and the clouds are ominously dark  
as they roll by above the trees.  
And the world is sacredly silent  
in the quiet of the dawning of the day.

_Ennis Del Mar was in between the juxtaposition of sleeping and waking, where dreams and memories sometimes merge into a tangle, to be sorted out in the light of day. He had a passing thought of getting up, but he was so comfortable that the thought, if it could even be called that, passed and he drifted off again._

"You want a cup of coffee, don'cha? Piece of cherry cake?" Jack's mom, the first time he met her.

Ennis smiled at her. "Yes, ma'am, I'll take a cuppa coffee, but I can't eat no cake jus' now." Jack's mother poured him a steaming cup of coffee and set it in front of him, resting her hand on his shoulder. She was solemn and calm. She had a tired, careworn look about her, as if she was worn out from life. He looked across the table at Jack's father. John Twist looked worn out too, but there was a hardness to him that was absent in his wife and son. He spit some chew into a cup and looked at Ennis with a sour expression on his face. _Jack musta been adopted, _he thought, _'cause I sure can't imagine him comin' from these two. _Jack could be quiet, sometimes, but was rarely solemn and, though he might get irritated or angry, he was never sour.

_A ghost of a smile drifted across Ennis' sleeping face, thinking of Jack and his bubbly exuberance for life. He shifted under the covers, nuzzling deeper into the pillow, as another memory dream took him over._

The letter was heavy–the paper felt thick and creamy and foreign in his rough hands, but it had his name on the front: Ennis Del Mar, General Delivery, Riverton, Wyoming. The return address, Gordon Albrecht, Goosedown, Minnesota, was unfamiliar to him. He thought about opening it right away, but he'd worked late and the horses needed tending. He got in his truck, tossed the mail onto the seat beside him and drove the five miles out to his small, shabby rental house. He'd moved out here after he and Alma got divorced. He sure didn't mind the isolation and was grateful to be able to have the horses here, rather than having to board them with someone else.

A small stable stood next to the house, which is where he headed from the truck. He took care of the horses needs and then stepped out for a smoke. The stars were beginning to appear. _Star light, star bright, wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. _He smiled, thinking of the little saying he used to share with his mamma, then sighed. _Sometimes wishes don't come true, Mamma, no matter how hard we wish 'em._

He ground out his cigarette, and went into the house to make a couple of hamburgers and have a beer. It wasn't until after he'd eaten and was rinsing his plate that he remembered the letter. He was so tired he seriously thought about just going to bed, but curiosity got the better of him, so he retrieved his mail from the truck, sat down on the sagging couch, and opened the letter.

_Dear Mr. Ennis Del Mar,_

_I am writing you to request that you contact me immediately. Your uncle, James Del Mar, has recently passed away. As his attorney, it is my obligation to let you know that you are a beneficiary in his last will and testament. Please call me at the number above as soon as possible, so we can arrange to go over it._

_Sincerely yours,  
Gordon Albrecht  
Attorney-at-Law_

Ennis read the letter three times, the groove between his eyes growing deeper with each reading. He remembered his uncle James, his father's older brother, a tall, spare man with curly blond hair–much like himself. He'd moved away when Ennis was just a boy and had never returned. Uncle James had given him a small wooden box with a horse carved on the front. It played a tune when it was wound up by the key on the bottom. The box was long gone now, though. He put the letter in his lunch pail, so he wouldn't forget it in the morning. _Guess I'll call 'im tomorrow an' see what this is about._

_Ennis shifted in his sleep again, turning onto his back and stretching his long legs out, one hand on his chest, the other by his side._

"Get in the truck, girls, and we'll go into town to get somethin' t'eat." Alma Jr. and Francine clambered into the truck, giggling over something one of them had said. Ennis smiled and shook his head as he walked to the driver's side door. Just as he put his hand on the handle he heard a truck coming down the lonely country road. He turned and recognized Jack's truck. He watched until it came to a stop in his driveway.

Jack opened the door, and stepped into Ennis' arms. He grinned at Ennis, his eyes sparkling, "Well, here I am," he said, his hand still on the back of Ennis' neck.

Ennis glanced back at his truck, where the girls sat in the front seat, then moved Jack's hand away. "What're you doin' here, Jack?" Smiling, in spite of himself.

"I got the message, 'bout your divorce."

Ennis hesitated, then stepped back and gestured into the truck. "These are my girls, Alma Jr. and Francine." Jack dipped his head to look in the truck and smiled at them. "Girls, this here's my friend Jack. Say hi, girls."

They looked at Jack warily and gave a quick 'hi', 'hello'. They'd heard of Jack. They knew the name made their daddy happy and their momma sad and angry.

Ennis looked at Jack, wrinkles appearing on his brow as he frowned at him. They backed away from Ennis' truck towards Jack's.

Jack's smile slipped the tiniest bit. "I got your card. 'Bout the divorce...I thought...I thought this meant, you know, that you were ready...that you and me..." He ran a tongue across his bottom lip. Ennis knew it was an unconscious gesture that Jack did often, but the sexiness of it never failed to stop Ennis' brain from functioning for a moment, just as it did now.

Ennis looked down, scruffed his feet. "Jack, I'm sorry. I got the girls this weekend. I only get t'see 'em once a month...and I missed last month 'cause o' the round up." He glanced up to see another truck coming down the road. "Jack, I'm real sorry." He finally looked into Jack's eyes and was pained to see the hurt there.

"Yeah, okay," Jack said, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He understood. No need to put it into words. He turned and walked back to his truck. "See you next month, then."

"Jack, I'm sorry." Jack waved his hand behind his back. He got in his truck and looked up at Ennis. The hurt and disappoint in them nearly made Ennis change his mind and ask him to stay, but, as ever, Ennis was rooted in place. Jack put the truck in gear and turned to back out. As if acting on their own, Ennis' feet suddenly moved forward a step. His hand came up. His mouth opened and, "Wait," quietly escaped his lips. He knew Jack couldn't hear him, but Jack turned anyway and Ennis saw the look of confusion on his face when he saw Ennis standing there with his hand out. "Wait," Ennis said again, stronger this time, but didn't move.

Jack waited for a few moments, curiosity fighting with the hurt in his eyes. Finally, when Ennis didn't move, he asked impatiently, "What, Ennis? What d'ya want?" A sigh, big as the sky, escaped from him.

Ennis heard the sigh, imagined it as a big black balloon, filled with all the hurt, betrayal, resignation, and longing he saw in Jack's eyes, and the need to get rid of that balloon moved him forward to Jack's truck door. He gripped it tightly, looked in Jack's eyes and knew there was no turning back now. "Could you wait around until tomorrow morning? The girls are gonna stay with me tonight, but I'm bringin' 'em home after breakfast so they can go to church with their mamma. Would you come back tomorrow? Around noon?" he looked down, hesitated when Jack didn't say anything. "I know...I know it's a lot to ask, Jack, but..." he looked up again in to Jack's eyes and saw a spark of something–some light of the old Jack–returning to them.

Jack smiled. "I'll come back. Tomorrow. At noon."

Ennis looked up, drawn to the light that was Jack. He glanced back and saw that the girls were still in the truck, angled so they couldn't see him. He leaned in quickly and kissed Jack once, then again, before stepping back. Jack got his smile all the way on, dazzling Ennis with its brightness. "See ya tomorrow, then."

Ennis stood and watched Jack drive away, not moving until he heard Alma Jr. say, "Daddy? You ok?" He turned to see her leaning out of the driver's side of the truck.

"Sure, darlin'. I'm okay. Where d'you girls wanna eat?"

The girls bedded down on his living room floor in their sleeping bags. They always joked that they got to camp out at Daddy's house. He kneeled down and kissed each of them as he tucked them in. He sat on the couch, smoking a cigarette, thinking about Jack, his life, and _what in the hell am I gonna do, because what I'm livin' now certainly don't qualify as a real life_. He was startled out of his reverie by Francine. She'd gotten up and was standing near his knee.

"Daddy? Can I sit on your lap?"

He put out his cigarette. "Sure darlin'. What's troublin' ya?" She crawled into his lap and snuggled against his chest. He put his arms around her and held her close, smelling the sweet scent of her hair, running his hands up and down her back.

"Daddy? Why're you so sad all the time?"

Ennis' hand stopped and he became still. "What...wha'dya mean, darlin'?"

She looked up at him, her blue eyes meeting his brown ones. Ennis thought it was amazing that Francine ended up with such beautiful blue eyes since his were brown and Alma's a greenish hazel color.

"You're just so sad all the time. Me'n Junior, we're worried 'bout you."

His hand moved slowly up and down her back again, but he swallowed hard before he could talk again. His daughters were worried about him. "Well, I'm not sad when I'm with you girls," he said, smiling, trying to sound cheerful.

She sighed, sounding older than ten years old. "Yeah, you are, Daddy...sometimes..." she yawned and nestled closer to him. "I jus' want you t'be happy, Daddy." Ennis pulled her close and rested his cheek on her head. He turned and in the faint light coming from the kitchen he could see Junior looking at him with big eyes. She watched him for a moment and then stood up, picked her pillow up, and walked-hopped over to the couch, still in her sleeping bag. She put her pillow down next to his leg and crawled onto the couch. Ennis put his hand on her head and stroked her hair out of her eyes.

"I jus' want you t'be happy, too, Daddy," she said, as she closed her eyes and nestled into her pillow.

Ennis sat there with them all night. He put Francine in her sleeping bag after she fell asleep, but returned to his place on the end of the couch. He dozed off for a while, towards morning, and when he woke, he could feel those roots that held him in place and immobile for so long begin to loosen their grip.

The next morning he brought the girls to Alma's. He gave them each a hug and if it lasted a bit longer than his usual hugs no one said anything. When he got back to the house, he went in and made coffee, then took a cup outside and sat on the steps to wait for Jack.

Ennis set his cup aside and stood up as Jack pulled up. Jack got out of the truck and walked towards him, slower and less sure of himself than the day before. Ennis pulled him into a tight embrace before moving his hands to each side of Jack's face and meeting his lips with his own. Jack put his hands on Ennis's hips and pulled him close. The kiss started slow and spiraled deeper and deeper until Ennis finally pulled away, breathing heavily. "Mornin' darlin'."

"Good mornin'," Jack replied, grinning, his eyes sparkling with a bit of renewed hope.

"Want some coffee?" Ennis asked, stepping back.

"Sure."

"Wanna come in the house?" Ennis didn't wait for an answer, just went towards the house, pausing to pick up his cup, and went inside. Jack followed.

Ennis poured them each a cup of coffee and they sat at the table. Jack wasn't sure what was going on with Ennis, so he waited for him to take the lead. Ennis seemed to be working up to starting.

"Jack, I got this letter. A coupla weeks ago. From a lawyer in Minnesota." Jack waited, unsure of what to say. Whatever he'd expected Ennis to say, this wasn't it. "See, my uncle, my dad's brother, seems he didn't have no kids and he passed away a few weeks ago and he...I guess he left me what he had." Ennis took a drink of coffee before continuing. "This lawyer, he said my uncle has a horse farm in Minnesota and he wants me to come out there...take a look at it, decide what I'm gonna do with it."

"Wha' d'ya mean?"

"Well...he said I could sell it. Or I could take it over. I guess my uncle did pretty well. Raised purebred horses and sold 'em to rich people." He looked up at Jack, took a drink of his coffee, looked back down at his hands, and finally looked back at Jack. Jack just waited, knowing Ennis would get out what he wanted to say. "Here's the thing, Jack. I was wonderin'. Well, I was wonderin' if maybe you wanted to drive out to Minnesota with me? Check it out together?"

Jack almost stopped breathing. "Really? Me'n you? Together?"

Ennis didn't answer right away. When Jack put it like that he thought maybe it wasn't such a good idea. He was about to take it back when he looked up and met Jack's eyes. The deep blue drew him in and reminded him of another pair of blue eyes–the blue eyes of a little girl who loved him and wanted him to be happy. _Jack drove all the way here–on a whim, 'cause he thought I was free. And he wanted t'be with me. He ain't afraid o' bein' happy. _Ennis thought, ashamed of his fear in the face of Jack's bravery and his daughters' worry. He straightened up, took strength from them and harnessed his fear.

"Yeah. It'll take a coupla days to drive out, then a day or two to decide what I'm gonna do. He said he's got someone takin' care of it now, but we can stay at the ranch."

Jack smiled so big he thought face might split in two. "Okay, Ennis. I'll come with ya," he paused, "but we're takin' my truck."

Ennis looked like he might argue, thought better of it, and smiled back at Jack. "Okay, bud."

"So, when're we leavin'?"

"How 'bout tomorrow mornin'? Early. Can't leave 'til tomorrow."

"Why, you got somethin' better to do today?"

Ennis stood, pulled Jack to his feet, and kissed him fiercely. "I certainly do, darlin'. I've had about a million dreams of you in my bed, but I ain't yet had the pleasure of your company there. Wanna join me?"

"It would be my pleasure." Jack grinned and threw his hat on the table as Ennis grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.

_Ennis woke for real this time. The wind was blowing in, lifting the curtains. It had started raining and he knew the rain was coming in. He slipped from the bed and went to the window to close it. It was almost morning; just starting to get light, in spite of the dark clouds. He stood there for a while, looking out at the trees and the lake in the distance, not noticing that the room was cold in the chill air._

_He heard a hitch in the steady breathing behind him. "Ennis..." a sleepy voice called out. Ennis rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. "I'm here, darlin'."_

"_Come back here. I'm cold. Come'n warm me up." Ennis finally realized that he was cold. He went back to the bed and crawled in between the flannel sheets. He felt the skin of the man next to him–it felt like fire next to his cold skin. "You're not cold," he murmured._

"_Goddamn, Ennis, you're freezin'!"_

"_Well, I reckon you'll just have to warm me up, then, won'tcha?" He smiled as Jack pulled him close, their legs and arms entwining beneath the heavy quilt._

_Jack kissed him, letting it deepen for a moment before pulling away, smiling his sexy, sleepy smile. "I reckon I will." _


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_March, 1976_

Ennis woke up slowly, with a sense that something wasn't right. No, not that it wasn't right–just different. He started to move and realized immediately what was different. _Jack. _Jack was behind him, holding him close, skin on skin from Jack's cheek on the back of his neck all the way down to their feet tangled together. He gripped Jack's hand where it rested on his stomach, linked their fingers together, and pulled it up to his chest. Jack stirred behind him and kissed the nape of his neck, his lips soft. Ennis didn't think he'd ever felt something so sweet in his entire life. He pulled Jack even closer.

"Hey," Jack said softly, smiling, his lips still on Ennis's neck.

"Hey, yourself." They were silent for a while until Ennis said, "We should probably get up."

"It's still dark out."

"I know, but we gotta bring the horses to my boss's ranch. He's gonna board 'em while I'm gone."

"You already talked to 'im?"

"Yeah."

"So, you had this trip planned before I got here?"

"Well, yeah, Jack. I didn' know you was comin'."

"Hmm . . . "

Ennis turned to face him. He rested his hand on Jack's cheek and leaned close for a kiss. Jack put his arms around him and caressed his back. "I'm glad you're here," Ennis said softly, "glad you're goin' with me. I ain't never been out of Wyoming before. I'm a little nervous, tell the truth. It's a long way to Minnesota from here."

Jack was quiet for a moment, taking this in. He was surprised by Ennis's admission and touched that he trusted him enough to let down his defenses and share his fears with him.

"Ennis," he said finally, "I'm glad I'm here too. And I'm mighty happy you want me t'come with ya." He kissed Ennis again, taking his lower lip into his mouth and running his tongue across it. He was also conscious of the fact that at any minute Ennis could spook and change his mind and Jack wanted to be careful–take things slow and easy–so that wouldn't happen. He broke away, "Ya think we oughta get up an' get goin'?"

Ennis hooked his leg over Jack's hip and pulled him close. "I think we can wait a little while." He kissed Jack, "It's gonna be a long coupla days in the truck and it's been a long time since we seen each other. Maybe we oughta stay in bed a little longer."

"Are we gonna sleep while we're in bed?" Jack smirked.

"Nope."

"Mmm . . . " was all Jack got out, his lips being occupied with something other than talking.

The clock on the night stand showed it was 5:30. Ennis was curled around Jack this time when he awoke. He rubbed his face and raised up on his elbow, then leaned down and put his mouth next to Jack's ear. "Jack, darlin'. We gotta get goin', bud."

"Y'okay." Jack turned to look up at Ennis, a sleepy smile on his face.

Ennis felt a hitch in his heart. _He's so beautiful_, he thought. This thought was warring in his mind with the ever-present guilt he felt for even being here, in bed, in love, in deep, with another man. There was a new, deeper level to his guilt and the fear he felt for himself, though. He was even more fearful for Jack. He'd feared the tire irons coming for him ever since he saw Earl's broken body in the ditch, knowing, even then, that fate could be his one day. Now, though, he didn't fear for himself as much as he did for Jack. _Sweet, beautiful Jack. _Ennis looked into those eyes and saw Jack's love for him in them, reflected so clearly, and he felt his vision begin to swim. He looked away quickly, surprised by his tears.

"Ennis?" Jack was concerned. He'd watched the play of emotions across Ennis's face and saw the tears when they came. "Sshh . . . it's okay . . . " he stroked Ennis's hair with one hand, while pulling him close with the other.

Ennis nuzzled into Jack's neck, sniffed and blinked quickly a couple times. He didn't try to explain, just took what comfort he could from Jack before declaring that they were getting up _right now_. Jack laughed and gave him a push.

Ennis got up and took a quick shower, then made coffee for them while Jack showered. He filled the thermos, made some sandwiches, and packed a small bag of clothes and toiletries for the trip. Then Jack helped Ennis load the horses into the back of the truck.

"You wanna ride with me over to the ranch?" Ennis asked. "Then we can come back here and get your truck, since you insist on us takin' it," he said, grinning.

Jack blinked, surprised, yet again, by this turn of events–that Ennis was willing to be seen with him out in public. He smiled and looked down, almost shyly, "Sure, bud."

The ranch was about ten miles from Ennis' house. In his own mind, Ennis had to admit that he hoped no one would be around when they got there. Being with Jack around other people was so new that he wasn't sure how to deal with it. Usually, it was just the two of them, the horses, and the wilderness and there was comfort in that. When they pulled up in front of the stable, however, there was a stocky, older man just leaving it. He approached the truck. "Hey, Ennis," he said, as Ennis got out of the truck.

"'Lo, John." The man glanced at Jack as he got out of the truck and went around to the back, where Ennis had already started to unload the horses. "John, this here's my friend Jack Twist. Jack, this is John Rogers, my boss."

Jack recognized the look on Ennis's face, the stoicism that was a brick wall of protection. He put out his hand and smiled at John, "Pleased to meet you, Sir."

John smiled back and shook his hand, "Same here." He turned to Ennis. "So, how long're you gonna be gone, Ennis?"

Ennis didn't look at him; just kept unloading the horses. Finally he looked up and met John's eyes. "'Bout a week, I guess. I sure 'preciate you keepin' the horses for me," and ducked his head down again.

"No problem."

Ennis and Jack each led one of the horses into the stable and settled them in stalls. Before leaving, Ennis touched each of them tenderly on the nose and spoke soft words that only they could hear.

John was standing by the truck smoking a cigarette when they walked out. "Well, have a safe trip, Ennis."

"Thanks, John. See ya."

A couple of miles down the road Ennis glanced at Jack, who was looking at him with an almost-smirk on his face. "What?" Ennis asked.

"Wasn't as hard as you thought it'd be, was it?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"You know what I mean, Ennis. Don't try 'n fool me. I've known you for damn near thirteen years and I've made it a habit of studyin' that face o' yours."

"Hmph." Ennis was silent for some time before he finally glanced at Jack with a half-smile. That was all the answer Jack got to his question.

Ennis parked his truck in front of his house, made sure the door to the house was locked, and they got in Jack's truck and started the drive

A few hours later, they pulled into a truck stop for gas and a bathroom break. Ennis went into the diner to get the thermos refilled and bought a couple of sandwiches to go. When he walked back into the gas station, he noticed Jack at the register paying for gas and a couple of sodas. He also noticed that the girl behind the register, a buxom blonde wearing a lot of makeup, was flirting, not so subtly, with Jack. He frowned. This was another something new. Other than Aguirre, and John this morning, they'd never spent time with other people and before, it was always the _fear_ that Ennis thought of. He hadn't considered that there was another aspect to dealing with other people. He certainly couldn't blame the girl, but it didn't stop him from being a little irritated, too, until he looked at Jack. Jack was being polite, but Ennis could tell he was uncomfortable. This thought eased his irritation. _Jack must get this kind of attention all the time, _he thought, _he's a good-lookin' man. He should be used t'it._ Ennis smiled and moved forward.

"Jack, you 'bout ready?"

Jack turned, a look of relief washing across his blushing face. "Yeah, I am," he grabbed the sodas and followed Ennis.

"Bye, Jack. You stop here again on your way through," the girl said, smiling suggestively. Jack didn't even look back, just pushed through the door and muttered under his breath.

Ennis smiled crookedly. "Have a way with the ladies, don'cha, Twist?" Jack didn't reply outright, still muttering under his breath, but Ennis clearly heard the words "unbelievable" and "hussy". Ennis chuckled quietly, which earned an honest smile from Jack.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Too bad fer them, though. I'm already spoken for," he said pertly. He got in the truck and looked at Ennis pointedly, "And I ain't talkin' 'bout my wife."

They were traveling across South Dakota, on I-90. Jack commented frequently on how flat it was. "How can they stand to live here? There's _nothin' _fer miles and miles. It's so damn _flat_."

"Well, Jack, I ain't seein' too many towns or houses, so 'pparently there's a lotta folks agree with ya."

They stopped at a diner in Sioux Falls for supper. They walked in and sat at a booth. Jack could feel the tension in Ennis and knew this would be some kind of a test. Their waitress brought them each a glass of water. She was short, a little heavyset, and what Jack thought of as "grandmotherly". The tag on her shirt said 'Lillian'. She smiled warmly at them, "You boys want some coffee?"

"Yes, ma'am," they said in unison.

"Well, here's the menu. Hot roast beef is the special and we got some fresh lemon meringue pie for desert. I'll be back in a minute with your coffee."

Jack watched Ennis's face as he watched Lillian walk away. Finally, Ennis looked away, met Jack's eyes guiltily. Jack leaned in, said softly, "They ain't gonna tar and feather us fer eatin' together, Ennis. Look around. Tell me what ya see."

Ennis looked around. There was a table with a man, woman, and little girl, a booth with three elderly men, and two more booths with just two men in them. He looked back at Jack, dipped his head, conceded the point. Jack just gave him a quick smile as Lillian came back with their coffee. "So, what're you having tonight?"

"I'll have the special, ma'am, the hot roast beef," Ennis replied.

She winked at him, "Good choice, son." She looked at Jack.

"I'll take a hamburger and fries. Oh, I want the burger well-done," Jack said.

"Okay. It'll be a few minutes." Lillian smiled warmly at them again before walking towards the kitchen.

The food, when it came, was surprisingly good and Lillian talked them both into a piece of the lemon meringue pie, so when they left they were pleasantly full and drowsy. Ennis offered to drive; Jack yawned, stretched, and agreed.

Shortly after they started up I-29 Ennis glanced at Jack and was not surprised to find him sleeping. He was slumped down in the seat, legs spread, arms crossed across his chest, his head on the back of the seat, with his mouth slightly open. Ennis smiled, tempted to reach out and put his hand on Jack's leg, just for the comfort of it; however, the smile was quickly replaced by a frown. _What am I thinkin'? What the hell'm I doin'? _All the doubts came rushing in back in a wave that surprised him with its ferocity and threatened to overwhelm him. How could something that felt so _right_, at the core, feel so _wrong _on the outside?

He pulled out a cigarette, sucked hard on it, felt it ease the panic a bit. Jack stirred in his sleep, turning more towards Ennis, his hand falling onto the seat between them. Ennis looked at Jack's hand; wanted to take it in his own. He looked away, took another long drag on the cigarette, watched the road. It was getting dark out now. The sky was a palette of blue, pink, and yellow, while the trees were silhouetted an inky black against it; stars were just starting to appear in the eastern part of the sky. Ennis took another drag on the cigarette and looked at Jack's face. His cheeks were flushed with sleep, his long eyelashes were dark feathers against the pale skin, and a lock of his hair had fallen across his forehead. He looked more the boy of nineteen than a man of thirty-two. _Fuck. _Ennis took one last drag on the cigarette and tossed it out the window, reached down and took Jack's hand, gently, so he wouldn't wake him. Jack's fingers fit between his, like they were made to go together. He drove on as it got darker outside. The panic eased a bit more.

A couple hours later, Jack stirred, started to stretch, and became aware of Ennis holding his hand. He stopped moving, surprised into wakefulness, but unwilling to open his eyes or move for fear that Ennis would let his hand go. Unfortunately, there was a part of his body that he wasn't able to control and it was definitely awake. He opened his eyes and looked down and could see in the faint light from the dashboard that his jeans were noticeably tighter, looked up at Ennis, who was watching the road. Jack looked around outside. They were in the middle of nowhere, as far as he could tell. He scooted closer to Ennis, put his lips on the side of his neck, and kissed softly.

"Jesus, Jack, what're ya doin'?" Ennis tried to pull his hand away, but Jack held on tight, kissed him again. Kept kissing him, moving his head under Ennis's, kissed him under his adam's apple and smiled when he felt Ennis gulp. "_Shit_," Ennis whispered. Jack took the captive hand and moved it to his crotch where Ennis couldn't help but feel the hardness.

"I thought we were gonna stop for the night," Jack whispered, still kissing Ennis's neck and moving up towards his face, along his jawline, to his ear. He ran his tongue along the shell of his ear.

"Jaaack," Ennis said, his voice rough, his jeans tight. Jack felt the truck jerk. "You better stop afore we hit the ditch," Ennis scolded, struggling for control as Jack continued kissing, breathing shallowly.

"Cain't, cowboy." Jack's other hand was on his chest now, roving up to his neck, then down to his flat stomach, and then even lower. Ennis gasped when Jack's hand stroked him, once, through the denim and Jack felt the truck swerve again as he stroked Ennis again.

"Fuck, Jack. You're gonna git us killed."

"Then we better pull over for the night, 'cause I cain't help m'self. I wan' ya, cowboy. Need ya."

Ennis groaned, a sound of frustration and his own need. "Okay, alright . . .but ya gotta stop, Jack. Gotta git ourselves under control." He looked at Jack sternly. "Sit up and look for a motel."

Jack planted one final, long-lingering kiss on his neck before obeying. He didn't, however, release Ennis's hand and Ennis didn't try to take it back. A few miles down the road, just outside of Fargo, North Dakota, they saw a little motel by the side of the road, just two other cars parked in front of it. Ennis pulled in, off to the side of the entryway. "You stay here, I'll go get us a room." He got out and straightened his clothes and went in. When he came out, he got back in the truck. "Rooms in the back–we c'n park back there."

The room was small, but surprisingly clean, smelling of pine cleanser. They dropped their bags by the door and, just like their first and only time in a motel together, headed straight for the bed, shedding clothes along the way. What began in the truck was finished quickly, leaving them both gasping for breath as Ennis collapsed on Jack's chest. They lay like that for a few minutes before Ennis rolled onto his side. Jack grasped the corner of the sheet and wiped his stomach off, then snuggled into Ennis's arms, their long legs still tangled together. Sleep took them quickly.

Jack was vaguely aware that sometime during the night Ennis got up to use the bathroom. Towards morning, he did the same, then eased back into bed and curled around Ennis's back. He lay there, drifting between sleep and wake. Ennis turned over onto his back and put his arm around Jack as Jack put his head on Ennis's chest, his arm across his stomach. Ennis drifted to sleep again. Jack continued to drift in that dozy place.

Finally, Jack could see in the crack where the drapes didn't quite meet, that it was beginning to get light out, though it was still very early. _I should go take a shower, get us moving_, he thought. Instead, he ran his hand over Ennis's stomach, hard and flat after years of hard work, yet silky soft at the same time. He continued to move his hand back and forth, lightly, until he felt a hitch in Ennis's breathing and a long in-drawn breath. Jack moved his hand lower on his abdomen, still moving back and forth, lightly; heard Ennis suck in his breath again, felt his hips buck the merest bit, knew Ennis wasn't even really awake yet.

His hand kept moving. He lifted it slightly and felt, against the back of his hand, the tip of Ennis's cock. At that touch, Ennis's hips bucked again as a low groan escaped from deep within him. Jack's own cock was pressing into Ennis's hip. Jack was suffused with desire and a feeling of power that he'd never felt before. He knew he could turn Ennis on and that Ennis desired him, but they'd always been in such a hurry in the past that they never really had this gentleness, this sweetness before, and he'd never been the one in complete control before. He wasn't in a hurry to do anything more than enjoy this feeling.

Ennis didn't even open his eyes, just reached for Jack and pulled him on top of him. They moved together, silent, except for their heavy breathing and soft, low moans. Legs and arms entwined, skin on skin, connected in a way they never had before. Ennis's tongue probed his mouth, licked his lips, and they kissed like they couldn't get deep enough or close enough. And suddenly Jack was over the edge, filled with a pleasure so deep he thought he'd be happy if'n he died right now and went straight up to Heaven–or maybe he had and this was Heaven. Ennis's name was upon his lips as he slipped over and he could hear Ennis repeating his name, like a soft mantra and he knew that Ennis was over the edge too.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"This is a bad habit we're gettin' into, Jack," Ennis said, his face buried in Jack's hair.

"Wha'd'ya mean?" Jack craned his neck to look up at him.

Ennis tightened his arm around Jack's back, gave a little nudge. "Layin' in bed half the damn day."

"Ennis, it's a little after seven. I wouldn' exactly call that 'half the damn day'," he paused, "'Sides, I din' hear you complainin' a little while ago."

"Hmm . . .yer right about that," Ennis drawled. He curled towards Jack and settled in for a few moments. Jack was just considering whether or not to drift off to sleep again, when Ennis sighed. "I do wanna get goin', bud. Wanna get there t'see that lawyer today, so we don't have t'wait 'til tomorrow."

"Did ya tell him when you was gonna be there?"

"I said I hoped t'be there by t'day–early afternoon."

"All right then, let's get goin'," Jack echoed Ennis's sigh. Being in bed, a _real _bed, with Ennis was quickly becoming his favorite place in the whole world. Sure, they'd had plenty of nights they'd slept together, but it was always in a tent, usually in the cold, and always there was a sense of urgency. Them in a bed, warm and wrapped up together in comfort, was new territory and Jack found that he liked it an awful lot.

"We should save time and jus' take a shower together," Jack suggested, trying to look innocent, but not really succeeding.

Ennis gave him a look that said he thought Jack'd just lost his mind, "Jack, if'n we took a shower together d'you really think it'd save time?"

Jack grinned mischievously at him, "No, I guess not. But when we have more time, we're _definitely _takin' a shower together." He kissed Ennis hard.

"'Zat a promise?" Ennis smirked, kissing back.

"Yessir, it is." Jack's eyes twinkled at him.

They showered quickly, separately, and walked out of the motel room a little after eight. When Jack stepped out the door, he stopped so fast Ennis almost ran into him. "Goddamn! It's cold out here. Was it this cold last night?"

"Yeah, it was Jack," Ennis nudged him. "You were so hot on the inside you must not o' noticed," he said, then seemed to realize what he'd said and looked around, afraid someone may have heard him. He relaxed a little when he saw they were alone.

Jack took notice, but didn't comment. He just put their bags in the back of the truck and announced he would drive.

They stopped a little later at another truck stop to fill the thermos and have some breakfast. Ennis seemed a little more relaxed about them being out together, but Jack did catch him looking around to see who else was in the diner. This was a truck stop on a busy route, mostly filled with truckers, which they could've passed for. Jack wanted to point this out, but held his tongue. When he let himself dwell on it, he was still struggling to figure out where this was all going. He didn't know what Ennis had planned or where _he_ fit into that plan. He didn't think Ennis knew himself, so he didn't bring it up. Time for that later.

It took a couple of hours to reach Grand Forks, where they turned onto US highway 2 into Minnesota. "Land of 10,000 Lakes," Jack read from the sign as they passed it. He was quiet for a moment before turning to Ennis, "You think that's true? Think they got 10,000 lakes here? Seems like a lot."

Ennis raised his eyebrows, looked amused, "Well, I don' know, bud. Whyn't you ask someone next time we stop?"

Jack pushed his shoulder with one hand, "Fuck you," he said, but Ennis could see a smile lurking around his mouth.

They drove in silence for some time–Ennis deep in thought and Jack looking around, taking things in.

"Ya know, I see a lotta swamps. Ya think they count swamps as lakes?"

"Huh?" was Ennis's only reply.

"Ennis, where ya at, cowboy?"

"Jus' thinkin'" He sighed from somewhere deep inside. "I don't know what t'do, Jack. I mean, this lawyer, Gordon, he didn' say much, but it sounded like I could take over the farm. Or sell it. He didn' seem too keen on that idea, though. Sounds like he wants me t'keep it." Jack glanced at him, saw Ennis's brow furrow. "Thing is, Jack, I don' wanna be that far from my girls." He stared out the window again, "But I know Wyoming prob'ly ain't safe fer me no more. Hell, I don't know that anyplace is safe fer me anymore," he said softly. "'Specially not when I got things to work out between us." He looked at Jack finally, his eyes cloudy and unreadable. "Maybe I oughta keep it. At least fer awhile–see how it goes . . . I don't know . . ." he trailed off uncertainly.

Jack was quiet, sensing that Ennis needed to talk, to get this out, even if nothing could be resolved just now.

"Jack, truth is . . . I . . . I'm scared." His voice was rough. "I don' want ta go through another thirteen years like we done. I been miserable my whole fuckin' life . . . 'cept when I'm with you, darlin'," he finished softly. He took out a cigarette, lit it, took a long drag, said stronger, "I ain't feelin' sorry fer m'self and I ain't blamin' no one. My lot in life–ain't no ones fault, it's jus' the way it is." He sighed and took another long drag on the cigarette, passed it to Jack for a drag. "I tol' ya once that if ya can't fix it, ya gotta stand it. I was wrong, Jack. I was wrong, an' I'm sorry. I know now that it shoulda been the other way 'round. If ya can't stand somethin' ya gotta fix it. I reckon I'm gettin' some kinda chance ta fix things. I don' wanna fuck it up, Jack." He rubbed his eyes with his palms and finally looked over to meet Jack's eyes again.

Jack tossed the cigarette out the window and pulled over on a deserted side road. Ennis just looked at him with a question in his eyes. When the truck stopped, Jack turned to Ennis and reached out for him. Ennis went instinctively into Jack's arms, his face in Jack's neck. "I'm scared, too, Ennis." He pulled back a little, put his hands on the sides of Ennis's face and drew him close for a soft kiss. "I'm scared, but I got somethin' in my heart I ain't had fer a long time. Too long. I got _hope_ . . . hope fer us, Ennis, and I ain't lettin' that go jus' yet." He kissed him again, longer this time. "I love you, Ennis. I know we ain't never said that afore and you don't gotta say it back if you can't, but I want ya ta know how I feel."

Ennis dropped his eyes, felt tears forming in them, felt like his tongue was tied in a damn knot, unable to speak. He cleared his throat, looked up and met Jack's lips with his own in a desperate kiss that went on and on. Ennis felt himself fall apart, breaking into a million tiny pieces, only to be put back together almost immediately. In this rebuilding, he felt a change in himself, an acceptance of the part of himself that he had always pushed down and beaten away in a desperate attempt not to face it. When he broke the kiss, he pulled back only far enough to rest his head against Jack's. "Darlin'. . ."

Jack drew further back, met Ennis's eyes, moved forward to kiss him again. A soft kiss. He drew back, eyes met again, then another kiss. Jack drew back one more time, his eyes only making it open half-way, darkened with desire, longing, and hope. He dove back in, kissing Ennis like he meant it, as if to say, _You're mine and I'm yours and there's nothing you or me or anyone else can do to change that, so we better get used to it. _A kiss that involved tongues and the sweet, familiar taste of each other. A kiss that had them breathing hard, but without the urgent need for sex. It was a connection, a lifeline for each of them, and somewhere deep within, not fully expressed or understood, they knew this and they took it. From this moment on, there would be no turning back, not without consequences that neither man felt he could bear. The kiss ended with more of the soft, short kisses, and then Ennis pressed his cheek to Jack's, his mouth close to his ear, and said so softly Jack wasn't  
sure if he really heard it at all, "I love you, too."

Silence stretched between them for several miles.

"How c'n ya tell there's a lotta swamps out there?" Ennis asked suddenly.

"What?"

Ennis nodded his head out the window. "Swamps. Out there. How c'n ya tell? You said ya see a lotta swamps, but everythin's covered with snow."

Jack laughed and shook his head. "I thought ya didn't hear me. I don't know if they're swamps, but it looks like it t'me 'cause there's open spots in the trees and they're full a scrub brush and old cat tails."

"Yeah," Ennis nodded in agreement. "I've seen some lakes, too, though," he added, almost defensively.

Jack heard this and laughed again, "Yeah, me too, Ennis."

They drove through Bemidji around noon. Ennis knew they were close, only an hour or two more, and was anxious to keep going, so instead of their usual truck stop, they went through a drive through for a couple of burgers and some fries.

They were going through a small town that looked poor and run-down. The houses were shabby, the paint peeling, some windows broken or boarded up. There were old cars and garbage in the yards of most of them.

"Lookit that," Jack said, pointing to a group of dogs that were apparently roaming free around the town.

"This is a sad place, Jack." Ennis observed.

"Yeah," Jack nodded and then they were out of town and traveling between the pine trees.

It was two o'clock when they pulled into Goosedown. Ennis gave Jack the directions and they stopped in front of a small office building. A sign above the door read, 'Gordon Albrecht, Attorney-at-Law'. Ennis lit a cigarette and made no move to open the door and so Jack waited too. They smoked in silence. Finally, Ennis said, "I want ya ta come in with me. Whatever he's gotta say t' me, I want you t' hear it." He opened the door, got out, ground out his cigarette, and started for the door. Jack followed him. The office was not very big. A woman, who was seated at a desk just inside the door, looked up as they entered. She had dark, curly hair and looked to be in her late forties.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm Ennis Del Mar. I'm here to see Mr. Albrecht," Ennis said, pronouncing the last name _all-brekt_.

She smiled at him. "It's _all-bright_. The 'ch' is silent."

"Oh, sorry," Ennis replied, dipping his head down, before realizing he hadn't removed his hat, which he promptly did.

"That's okay. Happens all the time," she said, waving her hand at him. "I'll let him know you're here. You boys can take a seat, if you want." She rose and went to the closed door, opened it and stepped inside. Ennis and Jack just stood there, choosing to stand instead of sit. The woman returned from the room almost immediately. "You can go right in, Mr. Del Mar."

Ennis started towards the door, followed by Jack. As he entered the room, Mr. Albrecht stood and came around the desk, his hand out for Ennis to shake it. Gordon Albrecht was short and round, with a kind face and his eyes sparkled when he smiled. The top of his head was bald, but there was a fringe of salt and pepper hair around the back. _If he had a pointy red hat he'd look just like one o' those gnomes in Jenny's picture book_, Ennis thought.

"Mr. Del Mar. It's so nice to finally meet you," Mr. Albrecht said, shaking his hand.

"It's Ennis."

"Of course. And call me Gordon," he said, then looked at Jack.

"This 'ere's my friend Jack. Jack Twist."

Gordon held his hand out to shake Jack's. Jack took it and gave Gordon one of his smiles, "Pleased t' meet ya, sir."

"Perhaps Mr. Twist could wait in the lobby while we talk?"

"It's Jack , and no, whatever ya gotta say, I want Jack t'hear it too," Ennis replied, shaking his head.

Gordon's smile slipped minutely and then he nodded, "Certainly, certainly. Well, have a seat gentlemen." He went back around the desk, took his own seat, and shuffled some folders around before opening one. He looked up at Ennis. "Maybe I should start by asking how well you knew your uncle, Ennis?"

"Mmm . . . well, not real well, I guess. He lef' when I was only about seven or eight and I never saw him again. I remember he was real kind t'me. Took me fer ice cream a few times, jus' me, not my brother 'n sister. He seemed sad. I don' know what happened t'him after he left. Never heard from 'im again."

Gordon had been nodding during this time. "Well, Ennis, he moved here in about 1952. He had a couple of horses and bought an old farm for next to nothing. He started out working in the iron mines, but at the same time, he was building up his farm. Eventually, he was able to quit the mine and focus on the farm. Your uncle built quite a reputation for breeding Quarter Horses and miniature horses. These past few years he's made a good living, got a good reputation. He was well-known around here and pretty much everyone liked him." Gordon looked down at the folder, lifted a piece of paper. "This is his will. He left the farm and everything on it to you. He wasn't married, never found the right woman, I guess."

"Was he a friend to you?" Ennis asked.

"Yes, he was."

"Well, how did . . . you never said how he died. What happened?"

"I didn't?" Gordon looked surprised.

"No, sir."

"I"m sorry, Ennis. He was in an accident. He was pulled over on the side of the road to fix a flat tire and a logging truck came around the corner, the driver wasn't paying attention, and hit the truck and James. It was a terrible thing." Gordon shook his head sadly. "There's paperwork, of course, but I'm sure you're tired after your drive. Would you like me to take you out to the farm, show you around? We can take care of the paperwork later."

Ennis nodded. "Sure."

"James had a couple of farm hands working for him. I just kept them on to take care of things while I contacted you. He had a housekeeper, too, and I did the same–let her stay on to take care of things, so you shouldn't need anything. I'm sure she did all the shopping and will be there to help with the cooking and stuff."

"Do they all live at the farm?" Ennis asked, a little afraid of the answer. He really didn't expect his uncle to have been doing so well. His own parents lived in poverty their whole lives and left the same legacy for their children.

Gordon smiled, "No, they don't live there. Why don't you follow me in your vehicle?"

"Sure 'nough." Ennis replied.

They trailed behind Gordon. He stopped in the outer office. "Hey, Janet, I'm going to take Ennis and Jack out to the farm. I'll be back later this afternoon. If I'm not back by the time you leave, just lock up."

"Okay. Nice to meet you Ennis and . . ." she looked at Jack and Ennis could tell that she was falling under his spell, even though he hadn't even spoken a word to her.

"Jack Twist, ma'am," he said, giving her a bright smile.

"Jack," she repeated.

They went out to the truck, Ennis shaking his head.

"What's your problem?" Jack asked.

"Nothin'." In the truck, he couldn't help it, he had to ask, "Do ya always have that fuckin' affect on women?"

"What the hell're you talkin' about?"

Ennis looked at him, incredulously. "You're kidding?"

"What the fuck are you talkin' about, Ennis?" Jack was starting to get irritated.

Ennis just laughed. "Never mind, bud."

Jack let it go, for now, so he could concentrate on following Gordon's black Buick. They traveled out of town about ten miles before turning onto a dirt road. They went another couple of miles and started to slow down. Ennis noticed a sign next to the driveway Gordon was turning into. "Look at that, Jack," he said, his tone low and filled with awe. The sign wasn't fancy, but it had 'Del Mar Farm' in big block letters carved into it, painted black against white. There was an outline of a horse in each bottom corner. "My name on somethin'. Somethin' real."

They followed Gordon's car down the long driveway and parked beside him in front of the garage, which had three stalls, Jack noticed.

The house, next to the garage, was made of logs, in a cabin style, but bigger than any cabin Ennis had ever seen. Gordon got out of his car and was standing between the house and garage. They joined him and followed him back. There was a large barn to the right, with a small paddock behind it and a large hay barn beyond it. There was another smaller barn and some storage buildings to the right. In the distance, Ennis could see a fenced pasture. He felt a little lightheaded, taking this all in. Everything was neat and tidy and he could tell it was well-taken care of. They went into the large barn and Ennis was hit with the familiar scent of a farm–stronger in here than outside. The building was lined with stalls for the horses and most were occupied.

One of the horses was out and someone was standing next to her, brushing her coat, back to them. The hair was black and shiny and braided in a single neat braid down the back. The person turned when Gordon called out, "Tyler, how are you?" Tyler turned around and Jack and Ennis saw that his smooth skin was dark and coppery, his eyes dark, and he looked young, in his early twenties, maybe.

Tyler smiled a small smile, "Gordon, hello." His smile disappeared when he looked at Ennis; it looked like he'd seen a ghost.

Gordon didn't notice. He indicated Ennis, "Tyler, this is Ennis Del Mar. James' nephew that I told you about. And this is his friend, Jack Twist."

Tyler held his hand out to shake Ennis's, "Hello." He shook Jack's hand next, nodding hello.

"Tyler is one of the farm hands here. He's been here, what, four or five years, Tyler?"

"Six years," Tyler said softly.

"Is Jim around?"

"No, sir, he went into town for some more feed."

Gordon looked back to Ennis and Jack, "Jim is the other farm hand. I guess you can meet him later. Should we go in the house or would you like to look around some more?"

Ennis thought he'd like to look around by himself (with Jack), later, so he said, "Sure, why don't you show me the house?"

"Okay. See you later, Tyler."

"Yes, sir." Tyler nodded at them and turned back to the horse.

Ennis and Jack followed Gordon back to the house. There was a set of wide wooden steps that lead up to the door. Inside was a large entryway with hooks for coats, benches, and storage cabinets. Wide windowed doors led into the kitchen and dining area. It was open and spacious, with a small table in the kitchen area and a large table in the dining area. Gordon indicated a door and told them it lead to the basement where the laundry area and sauna were. Beyond the kitchen was the living room area. There was a large window that faced into a field and a forest. On the inside wall was a stone fireplace. There were steps leading to the second floor, which was a loft style. It was open above the living room, but the rooms upstairs were closed off.

Gordon pointed to two doors on the far wall of the living room and one next to the fireplace, "Those are bedrooms and there's a bathroom." He lead them upstairs. At the top of the stairs, to the left, was the master bedroom, which took up the whole south side of the loft. It had a private bathroom. Next to it, facing the barns, was an office. It had a window that looked out on the barns and pastures. A bathroom was on the other side of the office and two smaller bedrooms were at the north end of the loft.

They heard the door open and close downstairs. "Oh, that might be Kelly." Gordon said, leading them back downstairs. In the kitchen was a young woman. She was slender, with long dark, straight hair and pale skin. "Hi, Kelly. I was just showing Ennis and Jack around. Boys, this is Kelly Bolduc. She was James' housekeeper. Kelly, this is Ennis Del Mar, James' nephew, and Ennis's friend Jack Twist."

Kelly smiled, which made her even more beautiful than she already was, Jack noticed, "Hi. Wow. Ennis, you look just like your uncle. You could be his son."

Ennis dipped his head, unsure of what to reply, so he just said, "Pleased to meet you, ma'am."

"Nice to meet you, too, Jack." She looked at Jack.

He smiled at her, "You too."

"Well, I'm sure you boys are tired. Maybe I'll just leave and let you get some rest, have something to eat," he smiled at Kelly, "I think I smell supper cooking." She nodded. "If you could come into my office day after tomorrow, say 2:00, Ennis, and we can talk about what you want to do? Would that give you enough time to look around, do some thinking?"

Ennis nodded.

"Well, here's my number, just in case you want to come in sooner or you need more time. Just let me know." He started towards the door, then turned back to Ennis, his hand on the knob. "It was nice to meet you, finally. You're a lot like your uncle. Nice to meet you too, Jack."

After he left, Kelly told them she had a shepherds pie in the oven and asked if they would like to sit at the big table or the small one in the kitchen.

"The small table is fine, ma'am," Ennis said.

Kelly laughed softly, "You don't need to call me 'ma'am', Mr. Del Mar. It makes me feel old."

He twinkled his eyes at her, liking her already. "Okay, I won't call you ma'am no more if'n you call me Ennis."

She nodded, "Okay, it's a deal. Now, what would you and Mr. Twist like to drink?"

"Oh, no," Jack said. "No 'Mr. Twist'. It's Jack. And I'd love a beer, if ya got one."

"Me, too." Ennis said.

She went to the fridge and got them each a beer. "If you want to look around for a few minutes, I'll just set the table and get supper out for you."

There was a door leading out of the dining area onto a large back porch that held outdoor furniture and a grill. Jack and Ennis each sat in a chair, lit a cigarette, and sipped their beer. "I don' know what ta say, Jack." Ennis finally said. "This seems like a dream. Like any minute I'll wake up and find that I've been asleep an' none o' this is real."

"It does seem too good t'be true, doesn't it?" Jack said. "But it's here and it's yours. If'n ya decide ta keep it," he added.

"If I decide t'keep it, it's _ours_," Ennis said softly.

Jack didn't look at him, just kept gazing out towards the barn and pastures. Finally, Ennis heard a sniff, and when he looked at Jack he could see the tears running down his face. Ennis left his chair and knelt beside Jack's. He took his free hand in his. "Jack. You been askin' me fer years fer that sweet life. I was so afraid. Too afraid t' do it." He sniffed, felt the tears in his own eyes. "And then, here it is. Dropped in my lap. I'd hafta be some kind of an asshole or the world's biggest fuckin' idiot not t'know that this is my chance. But it don't mean nothin' without you, darlin'. Nothin', ya hear me?" He sniffed again. Jack still hadn't said anything or even looked at him. "But it's up t'you, Jack, if ya wanna be a part of it with me. I'll understand if ya changed yer mind." He looked down at their clasped hands, afraid that this might be true.

Jack finally looked at him, turning his head slowly. Ennis looked up to meet his eyes. "I ain't changed m'mind, Ennis. I never would. I'm yours, you know that. Have been since the minute I saw you standin' in front of Aguirre's trailer." He stood up, pulling Ennis with him, and pulled him into a tight hug, which Ennis returned without even flinching. They stood like that until Jack whispered into his ear, "I wonder when everyone around here goes home, 'cause I can't wait t'get ya into one o' these beds."

Ennis laughed, a low, sexy laugh, "It's gotta be soon. I hope."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jack pushed back from the table. "That was so good." He finished the milk in his glass as Ennis nodded his agreement. It hadn't been fancy, just shepherd's pie and salad, but it hit the spot.

Kelly and Tyler had left for the day, but not before Kelly had put supper on the table for them. When they were done eating, they cleared the table and rinsed the dishes. Ennis suggested taking a walk around the farm, which they did. They explored all the buildings, looked at all the horses, and followed a path that lead to a small lake. By the time they finished, it was dark out, although the night was illuminated by the full moon and millions of stars above.

"This seems really strange," Ennis said. They were in the spacious entryway taking their boots off. "Bein' in someone else's house, lookin' at someone else's stock. Jus' feels . . . strange."

"I know," Jack agreed. "Maybe we oughta stop thinkin' about it an' go t'bed. Get some sleep." He smiled mischievously, then stood and reached for Ennis's hand. He led him through the house and up the stairs to the master bedroom. Once inside, Jack turned back to Ennis and drew him into his arms, meeting his lips, his hands on his face, while Ennis's hands were around Jack's waist, drawing him closer, before they wandered to his back. Their kisses became more urgent, tongues probing and caressing. Ennis pulled Jack's shirt and t-shirt out of his jeans and ran his hands up his bare back. It felt like silk to his rough fingers. Jack moaned from somewhere deep inside. He moved his hands to the front of Ennis's shirt and began to unbutton it. When all the buttons were undone, he pushed the shirt off Ennis's shoulders, off his arms, and began undoing his own buttons. Ennis broke the kiss and pulled his t-shirt off, then undid his belt buckle, unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, before moving to do the same to Jack's.

They stumbled back toward the bed, still kissing. Jack's arms got tangled in the sleeves of his shirt, which made Ennis laugh his low, sexy laugh, which, in turn, prompted Jack to kiss him with even more fervor. They were at the edge of the bed, bare-chested, jeans undone. Ennis pulled back, gazed into Jack's eyes. Even in the faint light coming through the window he could see the raw desire in them. He put his hands on Jack's face and pulled him close for another kiss–softer this time, but deeper, at the same time. He felt Jack's hands on his back, pulling them together.

Ennis moved his head down to kiss Jack under his jawline, back by his ear, down to his neck. Jack obliged him by arching his neck and moaning in that way he had that Ennis found immeasurably sexy. His lips continued kissing their way down Jack, while his hands pushed Jack's jeans and boxers down around his hips, to his knees, and low enough for Jack to kick them off. Then he was back up, kissing Jack's mouth, his hands digging into his hips to pull him closer.

Jack pushed Ennis's jeans down and Ennis kicked them off as they collapsed together on the bed. Their bodies were straining toward each other, their legs threaded together, their erections hard between them, their hands stroking and caressing, and the only sounds in the room were low moans and harsh breaths until Jack said, "Shit. Wait here." He jumped up so fast he startled Ennis.

"Jack? What the hell?" He raised his head just in time to see Jack's naked body go through the bedroom door. He put his head back on the bed, ran his fingers through his hair, and heard Jack go down the stairs, then start back up almost immediately. He scooted up on the bed and pulled back the blankets, pushing them to the end of the bed, noticed the sheets were soft.

Jack came back in the room, his bag, which he'd left at the bottom of the stairs, in his hand, dropped it, and got into the bed. "Fergot this," he said, holding up a bottle of lubricant, a grin on his face.

"Jesus, Jack. Ya coulda told me where ya was goin'." Ennis pulled him back down next to him, his ardor not cooled at all by the interruption.

"Sorry, babe." Jack kissed him and Ennis kissed back, their lips and tongues all over each other, their bodies melding together, their desire evident and unrelenting.

Then Ennis was on top of him, smoothing the lube over his hardness, before pushing into Jack. He moved slowly, watching Jack's face, feeling Jack's legs wrap around his hips, waiting for Jack to react. Jack arched his back, tightened his thighs, dug his fingers into Ennis's back, pulling him closer, and then they were moving together in the rhythm they both knew well.

Ennis raised up, lifting Jack's hips to thrust deeper, again and again and again, and then he was back down, his face pressed into Jack's neck, hearing his name on Jack's lips, just as he worshiped Jack with his own lips. He became aware that Jack's breathing had gotten shallower, his moans closer together, and then felt the warmth of Jack's orgasm between them. It pushed him over the edge and he thrust deeper and longer a few more times, then shuddered as he came inside Jack, held himself there for a few heartbeats, and then collapsed on top of him, both breathing hard in the quiet night.

Jack ran his hands up and down Ennis's back slowly, then kissed his cheek. Ennis turned his head to meet his lips in a soft kiss before rolling off Jack to his side. Jack turned, his back to Ennis, to let Ennis spoon around him, which he did. They didn't speak, just lay there, molded together, until Ennis heard Jack's even breathing and knew he was asleep. He reached down and grasped the sheet with his fingertips, pulled it up around them, and curled back up to Jack before falling asleep himself.

* * *

Jack opened his eyes slowly, aware that it was morning, a little disoriented at being in a strange bed again. His eyes opened wider and he realized he was next to Ennis, and they were facing each other, but not touching. Ennis still had his eyes closed. Jack didn't move, just looked. He watched the face of his lover, so calm in sleep. His dusty eyelashes brushed the top of his flushed cheeks. He looked so young, so beautiful. Jack wanted to run his finger along the curve of his lips, or _maybe my tongue_. These thoughts brought a smile to Jack's face and that's what Ennis saw when he opened his eyes. They looked at each other, Jack smiling and Ennis waking up.

It was Jack who broke the silence. "I think I could stay here the whole day."

Ennis smiled finally. "Yeah, ya are kinda lazy sometimes, bud."

Jack didn't take the bait. "I mean here with you, asshole."

"Oh, well, when ya put it so sweetly . . ." Ennis smirked at him.

They were silent for a while longer, their grins fading to solemness.

Jack broke the silence again, "I mean it, Ennis, I could stay here with you, forever."

Ennis watched Jack's face, this face that he loved and worshiped, had memorized every detail of. Finally, he spoke, "Would you?"

Jack blinked, his blue eyes widening the tiniest bit, unsure he'd heard right, wanting to ask, lightly, _Would I what? _or_ Is that a proposal? _but he knew that might spook Ennis. He hesitated, trying to control his heart, which had started beating so fast he thought for sure it was going to beat right out of his chest. Jack knew this for the sacred moment it was and all thought of making light disappeared. "Yeah, Ennis, I would. I will, if you're askin' what I think you're askin'."

Ennis, whose own heart had started beating out of control the moment the question left his lips, felt a peace settle over him. It was a feeling he'd never experienced before. "I am." His brown eyes met the blue ones and neither looked away for a long time.

* * *

Ennis and Jack came down the stairs together, to find Kelly in the kitchen. They could smell fresh coffee and bacon. Kelly turned from the stove and smiled at them, "Good morning." Her dark hair was in a neat ponytail and she was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Morning." Ennis nodded his head at her.

"Good morning, sunshine," Jack said, earning a bigger smile from Kelly.

"Coffee?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ennis said, which earned _him_ a good-natured frown from her. "Oh, sorry. I'd love some. Just point me t' the cups and I'll get it. Ya look pretty busy there."

"They're up there, in the cupboard next to the fridge. Breakfast is just about ready if you guys are hungry."

"I am," Jack said, "and that smells wonderful."

Ennis poured them each a cup of coffee and they took a plate of bacon, eggs, toast, and hash browns as Kelly handed it to them.

Ennis asked Kelly to join them at the table, so she got her coffee and a plate of toast and sat with them.

"Is that all you're gonna eat?" Jack asked. "It seems a crime for you not t'eat some o' this. It's wonderful. Where'd ya learn to cook?"

"I already had something to eat, but thanks. My mom taught me to cook. She cooks at a local supper club. She won't tell you herself, but sometimes people call to see if she's cooking to decide whether or not they're going to eat there that particular night. If she's cooking, they come. She's really good at it."

"How long have you worked for my uncle?" Ennis asked.

"Just a few months. I started after I graduated from high school. He had someone else working here, Etta Johnson, but she retired and moved to Arizona. She said it's better for her health."

"What was he like?" Jack asked.

"He was . . . quiet. Nice. Actually, he was very tidy. I don't think he really needed a housekeeper, but he wasn't very good at cooking and didn't really have time. He would rather be out with the horses." She was quiet for a minute before she added softly, "I think he was lonely, too." She looked at Ennis. "And he sure did look a lot like you. Or, rather, you look a lot like him."

"Yeah, you said that last night."

"Oh, that's right." Her cheeks flushed and she looked down at her cup.

"It's all right," Ennis said.

They finished eating in silence. Kelly poured them each another cup of coffee. Ennis stood and picked up his cup. "I think I'll go up to uncle James' office and take a look at the paperwork. Jack, you wanna help me? You're prob'ly better with that stuff than I am. Hell, I don' know the first thing 'bout business."

"Sure, bud." He took his cup and followed Ennis back up the stairs. The office was at the top of the stairs. There were a large desk and chair, a filing cabinet, and a couple more chairs in front of the desk. Ennis sat at the desk and looked lost. He looked up to Jack, sitting across from him. "I don't even know where to start, Jack. What 'm I lookin' fer?"

"Well, how 'bout you just start by openin' the desk drawers, see what's in 'em. Or look in the file cabinet. Maybe then you'll get a sense of things."

Ennis opened the middle drawer on the desk. It was filled with pens, pencils, paper clips, rubber bands, and a box of staples. "I feel like I'm invadin' his privacy."

"I know, cowboy, but I don't think he rightly minds anymore."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But it still don't feel right."

"Ennis, if'n ya say that one more time I'm gonna wrestle ya ta the floor and tape yer mouth shut."

"Hmph. 'Zat the only thing ya c'n think of t'do with my mouth?"

Jack gaped at him, shocked that he'd actually made a mildly suggestive comment.

"Well, now I know how t' get ya t' shut _yer _mouth, if'n I want some quiet." Ennis grinned his lopsided smile at him.

They spent the rest of the morning going through the office, looking at bank account records, contracts, employment records, and things they weren't even sure about.

Ennis was standing at the window looking out. Jack went to stand by him and asked, "Wha' d'ya think Kelly's gonna say when she realizes we only used one bed last night?" He was afraid Ennis hadn't thought of it already and would react badly.

Ennis surprised him–something he'd been doing on a fairly regular basis lately. "I dunno, bud. I been thinkin' on it an' I guess we should say somethin'. Or_ not _say somethin' and just let her think whatever she wants. We don' know her that well an' she don' know us. Maybe she won't wanna keep workin' here fer me. Fer us, I mean. I'd like her to, though. I already planned t'ask her t'stay, if'n that's all right with you, darlin'."

"O' course it is, Ennis. I like her. Although, I'm a little worried 'bout the way she keeps lookin' at you, all dreamy-like," he said, smiling a big smile.

"What the fuck're ya talkin' about?" Ennis asked.

"At first I thought it was jus' 'cause she thought ya looked like yer uncle, but this mornin' at breakfast–definitely some dreamy-eyed looks."

"Jack, you're the one that gets them kinda looks, not me. Ya mus' be confused. 'Sides, she's awful young, fer either one o' us. And then there's that whole other thing."

"What whole other thing, Ennis?" Jack tried to ask innocently.

Ennis pushed him, grinning, "Fuck you, Jack Twist."

Jack laughed out loud.

* * *

They went down for lunch and found that Tyler and another man just coming in the entryway. Kelly was putting a plate of steaming rolls on the table, which was set for five. "I hope you don't mind," she said to Ennis, "James always had us eat lunch together."

"Oh, no, that's fine," Ennis replied.

Kelly introduced Jim to Ennis and Jack. He was a small man with dark hair and dark brown eyes. He looked to be in his early to mid forties.

"So, where are you boys from?" Jim asked.

"Wyoming," Ennis answered, buttering a roll.

"Texas," Jack answered, pouring himself a glass of lemonade.

"Oh. So, how'd you end up here together?" Jim asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Well," Jack started, "I was born 'n raised in Wyoming. Ennis and me been friends fer a long time, even though I moved t'Texas. I was up visitin' an' he asked me t'come out here with 'im."

Jim just looked at him for a moment, before letting out a "Hmmm."

Kelly brought them each a bowl of thick, yellowish soup. Ennis put his spoon in and scooped some up. It was thick with chicken, carrots, potatoes, onions, and some grayish-black bits in it.

Jack had also taken up a spoonful of soup. "What is this?" he asked.

"Wild rice cheese soup. With chicken." Kelly replied. "Have you had wild rice before?" Ennis shook his head and Jack told her he hadn't. "It's not actually rice–it's a grain. I hope you like it. I guess I should have asked you before I made it."

"No, it smells wonderful," Jack smiled at her, sensing her discomfort. They tried it and found they both liked it.

"What's your plan? For the farm, I mean." Jim asked abruptly.

"Well . . . I guess I'd like t'talk t' Gordon about that more." Ennis answered hesitantly.

"Jim, it isn't really our place . . ."

"Sure it is. I work here. I wanna know what's gonna happen," he shot Kelly a look of irritation.

"Well, sure ya do," Jack said, "but this's all new t'Ennis. He ain't hardly had time t'think about what he's gonna do."

Ennis fixed Jack with a look and was about to tell him that he could speak for himself, when Jim beat him to it. "What? He can't talk for himself? What's the matter with him?"

Jack, who had been smiling his bright smile throughout the meal, turned to Jim and gave him a hard look.

"There ain't nothin' the matter with me," Ennis said. "Jack just likes t'talk. Don'tcha, Jack?" Jack just looked at him and caught the imperceptible jerk of the head Ennis gave him.

Jim picked up on the fact that he'd probably gone too far and smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Sorry, didn't mean no harm."

They finished the meal in silence. Afterwards, Ennis asked Tyler if he'd give them a proper tour around the farm. Tyler, who had been silent throughout the meal, agreed. At the door, Jim announced that he was leaving early.

* * *

The next afternoon Ennis and Jack drove back to Gordon's office. When they were both seated across from him, he asked, "So, what do you think of the farm? Your uncle has a really nice operation."

"Yeah, he does. It don' hardly seem real, Gordon. Seems like this is all a dream an' I'm gonna wake up an' be sorely disappointed. Nothin's ever come easy t'me, my whole life. I don' know what's changed that, but, like I told Jack, I'd hafta be a fuckin' idiot not t'take this gift. Oh, sorry fer m'language."

Gordon laughed and waved his hand at him. "Don't worry about it. So, do I take it to mean that you're going to stay here and take over the farm?"

"Well, I'd have to go back to Wyoming and square up things there. I got an ex-wife and my two daughters. D'ya think ya can just keep things goin' like they are until I can come back?"

"Sure. We'll just sign all the paperwork before you leave today and get that all settled. Are you going to take James' truck to Wyoming? Or are you and Jack going back together?"

Ennis looked down at his hands, hesitated. "Well, Jack's gonna head back t'Texas an' it'd sure be easier if'n I could take my uncles truck t'Wyoming so he c'n just head straight down."

"Sure. It's really your truck now. We'll set up the insurance in your name. I'm glad you made this decision. I wasn't only your uncle's lawyer, I was his friend, and I know he really wanted you to take over the farm someday. In fact, he'd been getting ready to go out to Wyoming and talk to you about coming here and running it with him. Unfortunately, the accident happened before he could." Gordon looked away sadly, then back to Ennis. "Is there something more, son? You look like you need to say something." He smiled at Ennis encouragingly.

Ennis didn't speak right away and Jack didn't speak for him. He knew Ennis needed to be the one to do it. "The thing is, Gordon, when we sign all the papers an' everythin's put in my name, I wan' it t'be put in Jack's name, too. We're gonna be partners–run the farm together."

Gordon blinked and looked at Jack, who met his gaze levelly. Gordon looked back to Ennis, who finally stopped examining his hands and met Gordon's eyes. He saw the understanding dawn in them. "Oh, oh, okay," he stuttered. "Well, we'll need to amend some of the paperwork. I'll just have Janet make the changes." He rose quickly from his desk, shuffled through the papers and took some of them to the outer office.

Jack looked at him with tears in his eyes. Ennis had a flashback, him and Jack by a fire and a rushing river. _It could be like this, just like this, always. It'd be some sweet life, _Jack had said. Some sweet life indeed.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Jack and Ennis arrived back at the farm just as Kelly was going to her car to leave. She waited and graced them with a big smile.

"Well, that's a good sign that she's not repulsed by us," Jack said.

"Prob'ly jus' means she's not repulsed by _me_. I'm sure she's prob'ly completely repulsed by you," Ennis observed dryly, with the hint of a smile, and got out of the truck before Jack could even reply.

"Hi, guys. I left supper in the oven for you again."

"You're spoiling us," Jack grinned at her.

"I'm glad you're still here," Ennis said. "Are Jim and Tyler around?"

"No, they've both left already."

"Oh, well, tha's too bad. I wanted t'talk t'y'all an' let ya know what's goin' t'happen. Guess I'll tell you and you can pass it along, if'n ya don't mind?"

"No, of course not."

"I've decided t'keep the farm. Uncle James lef' it t'me. I guess you prob'ly knew that. The thing is, though, I had Gordon put it my name and Jack's. We'll run it as partners, an', well, umm . . ." Ennis couldn't get his mouth to work right. He took a deep breath. He had to say it. He had to be honest. He had to be who he was. Didn't make it any easier, though.

Jack came to his rescue, understanding how difficult this was for Ennis, "Thing is, Kelly, me 'n Ennis, we've been together a long time, even though we've never lived together, and now we're gonna be livin' together and runnin' the farm together. Partners. D'ya know what I'm sayin'?" He looked at her expectantly.

Kelly smiled at him, blushing the tiniest bit and looking down at the ground before looking back at him, "I kinda figured it out already."

"We were hopin' you'd wanna stay on here an' keep workin' fer us. It might be more work than workin' fer Uncle James, bein's there's two o' us and we're prob'ly a lot messier than him," Ennis finally spoke.

"Of course I will. I was hoping you'd want me to stay."

"In spite of, well, o' what ya know?" Jack asked.

She met his eyes, "Yes."

"The same goes fer Jim and Tyler. We're hopin' they'll stay on. Least ways, 'til we get back. We both gotta leave fer a while. I gotta go back t'Wyoming and Jack's headin' back t'Texas fer a while, t'get our stuff and take care o' things with our families. We're leavin' in the mornin', prob'ly afore ya get here."

"Do you know how long you'll be gone?"

Ennis spoke first, "I think I'll prob'ly be gone fer about a week."

"I'm not sure," Jack said, "not more'n a coupla weeks, I hope."

"Well, I hope you both have a safe trip. See you when you get back," Kelly said as she got into her car.

* * *

It was late. Ennis should be asleep. He'd had a good meal, had cleaned up, repacked his bag, checked out the truck (which was a newer model than he'd ever even dreamed of owning), and he and Jack had energetically frolicked between the sheets. Jack had gone easily to sleep afterwards, but Ennis couldn't get his mind to shut down. _What'm I gonna say t'the girls? And t'Alma? What if she don' wanna let me see 'em no more? She cain't do that, can she?_

He was laying on his back, with Jack curled up beside him, or, in actuality, half on him. Ennis ran his hand gently up and down Jack's forearm, which rested on his chest, and nuzzled into his silky hair, finding some comfort in the familiar smell that was uniquely Jack. He felt Jack begin to stir, so he tightened his arm around his back and Jack snuggled closer, then settled down again.

Ennis felt a rush of love fill his heart. He lost himself in it for a moment and then his mind started working again. _What if somethin' happens t'Jack? What if Lureen gives 'im a hard time–fights him on ever'thin'? What if he changes his mind and don' wanna come back? _Even as that last thought started its way through, he dismissed it. How could he think Jack would change his mind? This man, who was curled around him and draped over him, even in his sleep? This man, who'd been asking him for them to be together for years? This man, who had always been braver than he ever was? No, he wasn't worried about Jack changing his mind and was ashamed for even having thought it. The thought of Jack coming back to him, for good, finally comforted him enough for him to relax and go to sleep.

* * *

Ennis was dreaming. He and Jack were laying on a soft blanket in a field of sweet, summer grass and wildflowers and they were kissing. Sweet kisses that lasted for hours or days. He stirred. He wasn't completely dreaming. Jack _was_ kissing him. Jack was still half on him, but propped on his elbow, kissing him softly on his lips, his cheek, under his jaw, back by his ear, where his tongue flicked out to trace around the shell of his ear and nibble lightly on his lobe before moving back down to his neck. Ennis dipped his head to meet Jack's lips. Jack kissed him, then pulled back and ran his tongue around the edge of Ennis's top lip and then did the same to his bottom lip and into his mouth, probing gently, before meeting Ennis's tongue.

Jack pulled away again and moved lower. His lips and his tongue traced a path down Ennis's neck, to his collarbone, down to a nipple and over to the other one. His hand traced a light path down Ennis's side as he looked up and met his mouth again. Jack's hand moved down to caress Ennis's silky hardness, moving his hand up and down its length and running his thumb over the tip. He continued until Ennis groaned and pulled Jack fully on him, spreading his legs to let Jack know what he wanted. Jack lifted his head, a question in his eyes. Ennis pulled him close again, his tongue now exploring the inside of Jack's mouth. They moved together sinuously until Jack pulled back and reached for the tube they'd hidden in a drawer in the nightstand. He smoothed some over himself and then he was inside Ennis and they were moving together, rough and tender at the same time. Jack held himself up, slowed down, and looked at Ennis's face. Their eyes met and held. He loved Ennis like this. He knew that at this particular moment, when their connection transcended sex, Ennis was _his_.

* * *

Jack and Ennis were standing in the garage in the predawn light of the day, their arms wrapped around each other, exchanging kisses, and finding it nearly impossible to say good-bye.

"Will you call here, in a week or so–let me know how things're goin'?" Ennis asked.

"Yeah, I will. I'll leave a message with Kelly if'n ya ain't here yet."

"Alright." Ennis kissed him again, "I don' know why it's so hard t'say goodbye this time. We're gonna see each other in a few weeks, at the most. Ain't like afore when it was months in between."

Jack kissed him. "It's 'cause we cain't wait t'start our new life t'gether. I wish we didn't even halfta leave, bud."

"I know, darlin', me too." More kissing. "We better get goin', though, or ever'one'll get here and find us makin' out in the garage 'stead o' bein' on the road, like we're supposed ta be." He smiled the lopsided smile that Jack loved so much.

Jack sighed, reached out for one last, long, lingering kiss. "You be careful, baby. I don' know if'n I could take it if somethin' happened t'ya."

Ennis, seeing the tire irons behind his eyes, told him, "I will. You be careful, too. I need ya here with me. I'm nothin' without you, Jack."

Jack snorted, "That ain't true. You're so much more'n ya think ya are, Ennis. But I know what you're sayin', an' I feel the same way. Ya make me stronger and braver than I am."

Ennis sniffed, held his tears in check by sheer force of will, touched his forehead to Jack's, and stepped back. "I halfta leave now or I ain't gonna."

Jack, still holding Ennis's hand, pulled him back for one more kiss, then, "Okay. See ya soon, bud."

Ennis just nodded and got in the truck. He backed out and Jack closed the garage door, got in his own truck, and headed down the driveway.

* * *

Two days later, Ennis pulled up in front of his house outside Riverton, looking at it with new eyes. _Damn, that place is really a dump_, he thought even as he went in and crawled into the bed, not even bothering taking his jeans or shirt off. He was exhausted from driving and thinking.

In the morning, he packed his belongings, little as they were. It didn't take long. Ennis decided to take care of the easiest task first, so when he'd packed everything and put his things from the house by the door, to be taken out later and the same with the things from the stable, he drove out to his boss's ranch. He knocked on the door and entered when John yelled, "Come in." He found John in the kitchen, just finishing lunch, lingering over a cup of coffee.

"Hey, John."

"Ennis. Hi, sit down. Want some coffee? How was yer trip?" He got up and got Ennis a cup and poured him some coffee.

"It was real good. Thanks. That's why I'm here."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I . . . umm, well, I'm leavin' Wyoming, John. My uncle, my dad's brother, he lef' me a farm in Minnesota. Raising horses. Does real good, I guess. I'm gonna take it over."

"That's real good, Ennis," John smiled at him.

"I was wonderin', you wanna buy my old truck and the horses? I can't take 'em with me and I gotta get back soon. Or ya know someone else who might wanna buy 'em?"

John took a sip of coffee, looked thoughtful for a few seconds. "How much ya want fer 'em?"

"Not much. I really just wanna find a place fer 'em. Well, a good place fer the horses. An' I know you'll take real good care of 'em, John."

Ennis was relieved when John agreed. They set a price and John said he'd be out later that day to pick the truck up.

* * *

Ennis went into Riverton next. He parked in front of Alma's apartment. Their old apartment over the laundry. He lit a cigarette and smoked it. He had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he couldn't put it off forever, especially since he wanted to be done talking to her before the girls got home from school.

He stubbed out the cigarette by the side of the truck, went up the stairs, and knocked. She came to the door and let him in.

"Hi, Alma. How're you doin'?"

"Fine. You?" There was no warmth in her tone.

"I'm pretty good." He hesitated, still standing by the door. "Ya think I could come in an' talk fer a minute?"

"Sure. Come on." She went to the table and sat in one of the chairs and Ennis followed.

"Alma. I got some news." She just looked at him. He could see the hurt, still settled in her hazel eyes. "I don' know if we ever talked 'bout it, but my daddy had an older brother, James. He moved t' Minnesota when I was a kid an' he set himself up a horse farm. Did pretty good at it–raisin' an' sellin' horses." He finally saw some interest spark in her eyes. "He was in a car accident a few weeks back. He died an' he, well, he lef' it t'me. I drove out there las' week t'see it an' I decided t'take it over."

"Wha'd'ya mean, Ennis?"

"I'm movin' t'Minnesota. In a coupla days."

Her eyes grew wider. "What about the girls?"

"I still wanna see 'em, Alma. Ya know I love 'em." He was pleased to see her slight nod, as if acknowledging his love for them. "I don' guess I'll be able t'see 'em every other month, like I'm suppose' ta."

"You didn't always see 'em that often, anyway," Alma said. Ennis could detect the hint of bitterness laced through her words.

"I know, an' I'm ashamed o' that, Alma. But it don' mean I don' love 'em, ya know?" She nodded grudgingly. "I was thinkin' that every Christmas they could come out fer a few days, during their school break, and once or twice during the summer. I'll come an' get 'em, or maybe they c'n take a bus or fly out."

"I don' know, Ennis."

"Alma, they're my daughters and I have a right t'see 'em. They have a right t'see me, too."

Alma looked out the window and thought of the girls. He was right. They loved him. He was their father, no matter what his faults (and there were many). She loved her girls, too. She knew it wouldn't be right to keep them from Ennis. She knew he'd take care of them–he'd always been a good dad, even if he wasn't always around.

Ennis watched the play of emotions on her face, but wasn't sure what was going through her mind. Even after twelve years of marriage, he still didn't quite know how to read her.

Finally, she sighed a deep sigh. "Alright, Ennis. We'll work it out so ya c'n see 'em."

He smiled, relieved for the moment. She started to get up. "Wait, I got more t'tell ya," he said, holding his hand up. She sat back down.

This time it was Ennis who sighed a deep sigh. "D'ya remember my friend, Jack Twist?"

The blood drained from Alma's face. She nodded.

Ennis looked at his hands, resting on the table, fingers interlaced, then looked back up to Alma. "Jack's gonna run the farm with me. We're gonna be partners."

"_Partners_?" she spat the word out, as if it were a curse. Ennis looked at her sharply. "Is that what ya call it?"

Suddenly Ennis understood. She knew. She knew and she'd known for a while now. _How long? How long had she known? How could she know? _"Alma." He sighed, straightened his shoulders and met her eyes again. "Yes, partners. I c'n see ya know what that means."

"D'ya love him?" she whispered, afraid of the answer.

He didn't answer right away, even though he knew the answer. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. She still held a special piece of his heart, even if she'd never believe that. "Yeah, I do."

"How long have ya been in love with 'im?"

"Since '63. Since Brokeback. That's where I met 'im. We herded the sheep together."

She gasped and a tiny sob escaped her lips. "That's . . . that's afore we was married, Ennis!"

"I know, darlin'." He reached for her hands, wanted to give her some comfort.

"Don' call me that! An' don' touch me." She drew her arms around herself, as if she was cold. She drew a shuddering breath, leaned back against the chair, and finally met his eyes. "Didja ever love me, Ennis?"

"Alma . . . yeah . . . yes. I did."

"But ya loved him more."

He shook his head. "It ain't that simple, Alma. With Jack, I feel like I'm a real person. It took me a long time ta realize who I am."

"Queer, ya mean?" she shot at him.

"I guess, if'n ya wanna call it that." He put his head down. He'd denied it for so long, it was a hard thing to admit.

"_Jack Twist,_" she spat out. "I _knew _it. I knew it from that first time I met him. I saw you two, out by the steps. Kissin' him like ya never kissed me," she finished softly, regretfully.

He knew now how long she'd known. "Alma, I'm sorry, darlin'. I never meant t'hurt ya."

"Goddammit, Ennis! Why'd ya marry me, then?" Years of frustration, built up, boiling over; tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I didn't think I'd see 'im again. Then he sent the card. I couldn't stop seein' 'im after that."

They were silent for some time. Alma wiped her face, sniffed quietly a few times. Finally she said, "Well, I guess it's good that you're not stayin' 'round here then. It'll be easier on us–won't halfta do no explainin'. Easier on the girls." She looked at him and added softly. "It'll be easier on you, too, I think."

"You still gonna let me see the girls?"

She sighed again. "Ennis, you're still the same person you were half an hour ago. An' truth be told, I already knew 'bout you an' Jack. You admittin' to it don't change nothin'. I'm gonna warn ya though. If'n anythin' goes wrong or the girls don' wanna go see ya no more, I ain't gonna make 'em."

Ennis nodded. "I'd like ta see 'em today, after school, talk to 'em, say goodbye. I'm plannin' on leavin' in the mornin'."

"Ya gonna tell 'em about you an' Jack?"

He hesitated. "I don't think so. Not yet. They're still so young an' I won't be here after t'day t'help 'em deal with it. I'll tell 'em when they come out fer a visit this summer."

"Okay."

"I'd like t'pick them up from school, take 'em out fer dinner. Is that okay?"

"Sure, Ennis."

They both stood, the silence suddenly awkward between them. Ennis started for the door and Alma followed. He turned around at the door and drew her into a hug. She was startled, started to back away, and then he was surprised to feel her arms go around his back. He held her tighter, then released her and walked out without another word.

* * *

Ennis went to the school, parked in front, and got out to wait in front of the truck. He smoked a cigarette while he waited for the release bell. It rang and children poured from the doors. Francine spotted him first. "Daddy!" she cried, running right into his arms. He picked her up and swung her around once.

"Hey, little darlin'."

She hugged him tight, "I missed you!"

"I missed you too. Where's your sister? Oh, here she comes." Junior gave him a smile and a hug. Ennis realized she was growing into a young lady.

"What're you doin' here, Daddy?" She smiled at him, happy for this unexpected visit.

"I came t'see you girls, take ya out ta supper." He walked to the passenger side of the truck and opened it. Junior and Francine's eyes got big.

"Is this _your_ truck, Daddy?" Junior asked.

"Yep."

"How'd ya get it?"

"Well, that's somethin' we gotta talk about." They went to a local diner and he listened to the girls chatter about school and their friends. They each ordered a piece of pie for desert and when they finished, Ennis told them about the farm.

"So, you're movin' away?" Junior asked.

"Yeah, darlin', I am."

"Are we gonna see ya again, Daddy?" Francine asked, tears in her eyes.

He pulled her close, "Of course ya are, swee'heart. Your mom an' I already talked and you're gonna come visit during Christmas vacation and during the summertime. An' I'll call ya and you c'n call me whenever ya want. I'll write the number down fer ya both. An' ya c'n write t'me, too, if'n ya want."

Junior wiped her eyes. "I'm gonna miss ya, Daddy."

"Me too." Francine piped in.

"Girls, I'm gonna miss ya both more'n anythin'."

He drove them home and held them each in his arms for a long time before letting go.

Ennis went back to his shack, packed the truck, and tried to sleep. After a couple of hours of restless tossing and turning, he decided to get up and leave. The earlier he left, the earlier he'd get back to the farm. Funny how he was already starting to think of it as 'home'.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Jack pulled into his driveway just after midnight. The house was dark. He hadn't even called Lureen to tell her he was on his way home. He was tempted to just go to a motel for the night and come back in the morning, but that wouldn't make it any easier. He grabbed his bag and went inside.

He decided immediately that he was not getting in bed with Lureen. It didn't feel right, not when he was planning on asking for a divorce, and not after what he had promised to Ennis. He took off his shirt and jeans and lay on the couch in his t-shirt and boxers. He covered up with the blanket that had been left at the end of the couch.

Jack woke up early, took a shower, and shaved before Lureen and Bobby were even up. When he was done, he went in Bobby's room and sat on the edge of his bed. Bobby was sleeping on his back, his blankets in a tangle. Jack brushed the hair back from Bobby's forehead and he stirred, opened his eyes partway.

"Hey, little man. It's time t'get up fer school."

Bobby's eyes opened wider. "Daddy?"

"Yeah, son, it's me. You gonna get up?"

Bobby seemed to think about it for a minute, then tossed his covers off, and threw himself into Jack's arms. "I missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you, too, son." Jack held him close, then stood up, putting Bobby back on the bed. "You gotta get ready fer school. Need any help?"

"Nah."

"Okay. I'll go make ya some breakfast. Want some eggs? Toast?"

"Cereal and toast . . . please."

Jack smiled and left the room as Bobby went to his dresser. He met Lureen in the hallway.

"Jack! You're home! When did you get here?"

"Late last night."

"You get Bobby up?"

"Yeah, I was just goin' t'make him some breakfast."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm gonna take a shower and get ready for work." She paused, then kissed him on the cheek, almost as an afterthought.

Jack found Bobby's backpack and set it by the door, then got him a bowl and spoon, the cereal and milk, and started the toast. Bobby came running into the kitchen as Jack was buttering it. He slammed into Jack's legs and nearly knocked him over. "Hey! Slow down!" Jack laughed.

"Sorry, Daddy," Bobby said, hopping up into a chair and pouring some cereal.

Jack sat with him while he ate, then cleaned up while Bobby went to brush his teeth. He helped him put his backpack on and gave him a hug before sending him out the door to catch the bus. He watched as Bobby turned and waved to him, his wavy dark hair shining in the sun, his bright eyes, as blue as Jack's, his smile wide and beautiful like his momma's, and then he was gone.

Jack went back inside and poured another cup of coffee. Lureen came in the kitchen, so he poured her one, too. "Lureen, you got a busy day today?"

"Not really, why?"

"We need t'talk."

She turned from the counter where she'd been spooning cream and sugar into her coffee, her cup in her hands, held before her like a shield. He could see that her normally pale face had turned even more pale and her eyes were wide.

"Are you happy? Bein' married t'me, I mean?"

"Jack, what the hell are you talking about? O' course I'm happy." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, mostly I am."

"Lureen. Honey. I'm sorry, but I _ain't_ happy. I ain't been happy fer a long time. I'm askin' ya fer a divorce."

"What? No!" She set her cup down, shaking her head. "No, Jack. I don't want no divorce." He could see tears in her eyes.

"Lureen . . . " he stood and went to her. She put up her hands and backed away, shaking her head. This was not the reaction Jack expected. _Well, what didja expect, asshole? That she'd be happy about it? _he thought, and knew in his heart that's exactly what he expected. "Lureen, do you love me? Are you really happy?" He stopped in front of her as she stopped backing away.

"Of course I love you. Why d'ya think I married you?" the tears finally spilled from her eyes and she looked away, said more softly, "I can't get a divorce. I can't." She wiped her eyes and looked back to him. Jack could see the bit of wildness that had come into her eyes. "Who is she, Jack? Who is she! Who are you leavin' me for?"

"Lureen, there ain't no other woman," he started.

"I don't believe you!" she screamed.

"Honey, calm down." Jack tried to put his arms around her, but she flailed at him and pushed him away.

"Don't tell me to calm down, you bastard!" The tears were streaming down her face now, her eyes wild.

"Honey, please. Please calm down."

"I hate you, Jack Twist. I hate you! D'you hear me? I _hate_ you!" She put her face in her hands and started to sob. Jack put his arms around her and she didn't resist this time.

"Shh . . . darlin', it's all right. It'll be all right." He continued to make soothing noises as she calmed down and finally stopped crying. She let him hold her for a few more moments, sniffing occasionally, then pulled away.

"I'm going to lie down. I can't talk to you right now." She walked away, down the hallway, into their bedroom, and shut the door.

"Fuck," Jack said, scrubbing his hand down his face and taking a deep breath.

* * *

Jack woke up and looked at his watch. Two-thirty. Lureen hadn't come out of the bedroom all day and he'd fallen asleep on the couch waiting for her. He got up and stretched, heard some movement at the other end of the house. Lureen came into the living room, dressed to go out. Her eyes were still a little puffy, but she'd tried to cover it with a little extra makeup. "I'm goin' out fer a drink."

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know. Why d'you care?"

"Honey, please, we still need t'talk."

"I don't feel like talkin' right now, Jack. What I need right now is a drink and to be away from you. Bobby'll be home soon. I called Maria and told her to just send him home–that you were home today." Bobby usually went to their neighbors home after school, until Jack or Lureen got home from work.

"Okay. I think I'll take him out to supper tonight. Down to Dave's Steakhouse. D'you wanna come with us?"

"No. You gonna tell him we're gettin' divorced?"

Jack blinked, startled at her sudden acceptance of the divorce. He thought about telling Bobby. "No, not yet. I still think we got more t'talk about, Lureen. Maybe tonight we can talk some more?"

She just shrugged and walked out.

* * *

_Bang. Bang. Bang. _Jack shot up, disoriented. He'd fallen asleep in the chair in front of the tv, which now buzzed with snow. The banging came again. _What the hell? _He went to the door and tore it open. A sheriff deputy was standing on the porch, his arm raised to knock again. "Danny? What's goin' on?" he asked, recognizing the deputy.

"Jack, can I come in?"

"Sure," Jack stepped back and opened the door wider. Danny stepped inside, went to the table and took a seat, so Jack followed.

"Jack, I'm real sorry t'be the one havin' t'tell ya this, but . . ." he hesitated, "Lureen's been in an accident. It seems she'd been drinkin' an' she got in Rod Feldman's truck t'get a ride home, but he'd been drinkin' too. They hit a tree."

Jack just stared at him like he was speaking another language.

"I'm sorry, Jack, real sorry. Lureen's in a bad way. She's at the hospital. They don't expect her t'make it."

"No. No. No." Jack shook his head. _My fault. This is all my fault. _Tears sprang to his eyes and spilled over. "Lureen . . ." he whispered.

Danny stood. "Another deputy went to tell Lureen's parents."

Jack thanked Danny and showed him to the door. He picked up the phone and called Maria, explained what happened, asked if he could bring Bobby over. Maria said of course he could and started to cry. He picked Bobby up in his blankets, not even bothering to wake him, and put him on the front seat of his truck. He drove to Maria's and settled Bobby on the couch, gave Maria a hug, and drove to the hospital.

Once there, he went in and met a furious L.D. Newsome in the hallway. L.D. flew at him, his face red and blotchy, "What happened? What the hell was goin' on with you two? First, Lureen doesn't show up fer work and then she's out drinkin' in the middle of the week! What'd you do, you son of a bitch?" L.D. pulled his fist back and slugged Jack in the face. Jack fell back and hit the floor, stunned.

"Hey! Knock it off or you'll have to leave!" he heard a female voice shouting.

"Come on, you son of a bitch. Get up. Get up!" L.D. stood over him, screaming, his face now turning purple. Jack just laid there. _Whatever he gives, me it ain't near what I deserve, _Jack thought, even as he saw a security guard approach L.D.

"Sir, if you don't settle down, you're gonna have to leave," the guard said, putting his hand on L.D.'s arm and forcing him to back up.

L.D. shook his arm free. "Fine, but," he pointed at Jack, "I don't want you anywhere near me, ya hear?"

Jack just nodded as he got up and went to the nurses station. "I'm Jack Twist. My wife, Lureen was brought in earlier. I'd like t'see her," he said quietly, rubbing his cheek and eye, which were now throbbing from L.D.'s punch.

"Mr. Twist, I'm sorry, but she's still in surgery. You can wait in the waiting room and someone will let you know as soon as she's out," the nurse gave him a sympathetic smile, "You want some ice for that?" she nodded to his eye.

"Sure, thanks." She got him an ice pack and he sat in a chair, leaned back, and held the pack to his eye. It wasn't long before he heard someone approach his chair and sit down. He looked up.

"Mr. Twist? I'm Dr. Goodell. I operated on your wife when she was brought in." He hesitated, "We did everything we could, but her injuries were too severe. She didn't make it."

Jack put his head down and covered his face with his hands for a moment. "Did ya tell her parents?"

"Not yet."

"Can I see her? Say good-bye?"

"Sure. I'll take you to her."

"Thanks, doc." Jack followed him and he went into the room. A nurse was in with her, but left when Jack entered the room. Lureen was surrounded by machines. A blanket was pulled up under her chin and there was a bandage across her forehead. Jack could see a wetness in her dark hair, but he tried not to think what that might be. She was so still and pale, still so young and beautiful. He stood next to her, touched her cheek, her lips. His tears spilled down his face. He bent and kissed her lips and saw his tears hit her and roll down her cheek. It almost looked like she was crying.

"Lureen," he whispered, "I did love you, honey. I _do_ love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so fuckin' sorry. I didn't want somethin' like this t'happen . . ." he trailed off, took a deep breath. "I'll take care of Bobby an' I'll make sure he remembers his momma." He stood next to her a while longer, then walked out of the room. He knew L.D. and Faye would want to say good-bye to their daughter.

* * *

Jack left Bobby at Maria's for the rest of the night. He went home, had a drink, and crawled into the bed he'd shared with Lureen for ten years. He didn't cry–just laid there for a long time, not thinking, not sleeping. Later, he got up and went to Maria's. The kids were just getting on the bus and waved at Jack. He found Maria in the kitchen with Bobby. Bobby jumped into his arms.

"Daddy, how come ya brought me t'Maria's last night? An' how come I ain't goin' t'school today?" Bobby knew something was wrong.

"Bobby, why don't you go get in the truck an' I'll bring you home. I gotta talk to Maria fer a minute, okay? Grab yer blanket before ya go."

Bobby got his blanket, took a piece of toast off his plate, and went outside.

Jack turned to Maria. She was a good friend of Lureen's. "She's gone," he said.

Tears were falling from Maria's dark eyes. "Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry." He just nodded. "You let me know if I can do anything for you. Anything at all. You bring Bobby over whenever you need to. I'll bring you guys some supper tonight. Don't worry about anything like that."

"Thanks, darlin'." She gave him a quick hug before he went out the door.

* * *

Telling Bobby that his momma was gone and never coming back was the hardest thing Jack had ever had to do. Bobby had cried for a long time, choking sobs that broke Jack's heart. His sobs finally turned to sniffles, and then he fell asleep, curled in Jack's lap. Jack held him for a long time before putting him in his bed.

* * *

The next few days were a haze of grief. Jack let L.D. and Faye plan the funeral. It seemed to bring them some small amount of comfort to be in control, so he let them. He and L.D. declared an unspoken truce, which mainly consisted of avoiding each other and saying as little as possible, when it became necessary to discuss something. After the funeral, everyone came out to the house for a bite to eat. Jack talked and smiled and shook hands, counting the minutes when everyone would finally leave and leave him alone.

By early evening, everyone except her parents had gone. Faye was cleaning up and L.D. was at the table, smoking and having a drink of whiskey. Jack stood by the window, watching Bobby swing on the swingset in the backyard.

"Well, I s'pose the best thing fer everyone is fer Bobby t'come an' live with us," he heard L.D. say, "so we'll come by tomorrow and pack up all o' his stuff."

Jack turned to him, "What the hell are you talking about?"

L.D. met his eyes defiantly, "I think Lureen woulda wanted _us_ t'raise her son. Not a no-good son of a bitch like you."

"I'm his father an' I'm the one who's gonna raise him. I think _that_ is what Lureen would've wanted."

"Now, Jack," Faye said, "how're you gonna raise a little boy all alone. He needs a woman. Needs a momma."

"His momma's gone. He's stayin' with me," he said coldly.

"It's yer fault she's gone!" L.D. shouted.

Jack had had enough. His guilt was eating him inside, but he sure didn't need L.D. adding to it. "Get out. Get the fuck out of my house!" he shouted. "Bobby is stayin' with me an' I'm movin' to Minnesota. Got a farm up there. You can come up an' see him whenever ya want, but he's not stayin' here with you."

L.D. and Faye looked stunned. "What're you talkin' about, boy?" L.D. squinted his eyes at Jack.

"You heard me. I'm selling the house an' movin' t'Minnesota. I'll leave ya the address and phone number. Anything of Lureen's you want, take it, 'cause what I don't keep fer Bobby is goin' ta charity."

Faye had her hand to her mouth, shaking her head, tears falling. Jack felt bad. Faye had always been nice to him. He knew she was grieving and didn't want to make it worse for her, but he wanted to leave as soon as possible, so they might as well know it now.

L.D. stood up. "You can't do that. I'm callin' a lawyer. I'll get custody of that boy."

"Go ahead an' call a lawyer. You can't do nothin' about it. I'm his daddy."

"Come on, Faye," L.D. said, heading for the door.

"Faye, why don't you come back tomorrow and take what you want of Lureen's things." Jack told her, adding softly, "I'm sorry."

* * *

Jack spent the rest of that night and the next day packing. He hooked a trailer to his truck so he could take all of Bobby's belongings. Faye came to the house in the afternoon, knocked hesitantly. Jack let her in and watched her wander aimlessly, touching a few things. Finally, she stopped, turned to Jack. "I don't know what to do. My daughter, my little girl. Gone." She broke down and Jack took her in his arms.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"An' now you're takin' Bobby, too."

"Faye, you can come an' see him anytime you want. I'll send you a ticket, even. When Bobby's older, he can come an' visit you–maybe spend a few weeks in the summer."

That seemed to make her feel a little better. She stood and looked around. She settled on taking some of Lureen's childhood possessions and the silver-plated brush and mirror set she and L.D. had given her a few years ago. She gave Bobby a hug before she left and made Jack promise he wouldn't leave without saying good-bye.

Jack packed his belongings, all of the pictures, some mementos of Lureen's for Bobby, and all of Bobby's things. All the household items, the furniture, and Lureen's clothing were going to the Goodwill. He had movers come and take it all away, met with the realtor to put the house on the market, and then called the farm for the first time.

"Hello?" he heard a singsong female voice answer.

"Hi, Kelly? This is Jack. Is Ennis there yet?"

"Sure. I'll go get him. Hold on."

A minute later Ennis picked up, "Lo? Jack?"

"Hi."

"Hi. What's up, bud? How are you? I expected ya ta call afore this."

"I know. Sorry. I got some news." He hesitated, breathed deeply before going on. "Lureen was in an accident. Happened right after I got here."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"She didn't make it. We had the funeral a few days ago."

"Oh, Jack. I'm so sorry, darlin'."

"Yeah, well, I got Bobby t'take care of now." Pause. "You still want me t'come up there with you?"

"Jack. What the fuck kinda question is that? Of course I want you to come here. _You and Bobby_. You think I wouldn't want ya just 'cause of that? What kinda man d'you think I am?" Jack heard the hurt in Ennis's voice.

"I'm sorry. I ain't thinkin' straight. I'm plannin' on leavin' in the mornin'. We'll be there in a coupla days."

"Alright. Drive careful, okay, bud?" Pause. "I cain't wait t'see ya, Jack. I miss you."

"I miss you, too, baby. See ya soon. Real soon."


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The sky was a riot of orange and pink and deep, deep blue as the sun crept toward the horizon. Jack yawned and shook his head to keep himself from falling asleep. He was almost there. Almost to his new home. _Home_. It didn't matter the location. His home was _Ennis_. The fact that it was a beautiful log house, an established business, and in what seemed to be a nice town, was just a bonus. A smiled crossed his face as he thought of the object of his affection–the soft blonde hair that curled just right, eyes the color of honey or chocolate (depending on his mood), a body that was tough and lithe from years of hard work, and hands that could work magic upon his body. He started to lose himself in his adoration of the temple of Ennis and then glanced down guiltily to Bobby sleeping on the seat next to him. His head was on a pillow and he was tangled in the cowboys and horses quilt Lureen had gotten for him last Christmas. Bobby stirred, kicking Jack in the knee, which effectively cooled the ardor Jack had been feeling. _Damn, I shoulda made him take his boots off_, he thought, rubbing his knee. He patted Bobby's leg soothingly and put his concentration back on driving.

Goosedown was less than twenty miles away. Jack pulled in the driveway just as the sun sank out of sight. Ennis came out of the house when he got out of the truck and met him in front of the garage. Ennis took him in his arms and Jack clung to him, a jumble of conflicting emotions. Joy and grief, sorrow and relief warred in his heart. He didn't realize he was crying until he heard Ennis soothing him. He pressed his face into Ennis's neck as Ennis held him close, one hand running up and down his back, the other on the back of his head.

"I'm sorry, Ennis," he finally choked out.

"What are you sorry for?"

"Everything."

"Bullshit, Jack. You don't gotta be sorry fer anything. Lureen was your wife, your friend, and your son's momma. I'd think you were a heartless bastard if ya didn't grieve none." He drew back from Jack to meet his eyes and said softer, "And I know you ain't a heartless bastard, darlin'. You've got the biggest heart of anyone I know."

Jack looked down, his throat closed up, and the tears threatened to fall again. "Oh, Ennis," he whispered.

Ennis held him until he stopped trembling, then stepped away. "Where's this little boy I keep hearin' so much about?"

Jack sniffed, wiped his nose on his sleeve, and went around the truck, saying, "He fell asleep a while back."

Ennis noticed the trailer. "Jesus, Jack, didja bring the whole state o' Texas with ya?"

Jack paused before opening Bobby's door. "Nah, it's mostly Bobby's stuff. I couldn't decide what t'bring 'n what t'leave, so I brought it all."

"We can unload it tomorrow or the day after, maybe get Tyler t'help us then." The next day was Sunday and Kelly and Tyler were both off, now that Ennis was here to take care of things.

"What about Jim?" Jack saw Ennis's jaw clench tightly.

"He don't work here no more."

"What happened?"

"Well, seems he don't wanna work fer no 'fuckin' faggots', so he quit." Ennis turned his head and spit, "I'm afraid he might be trouble, Jack," he added, then said, "Well, we can't do nothin' about it tonight and you look like you're about t'drop, darlin'. Let's get you and Bobby inside. You hungry? Kelly left somethin' called a 'hotdish'. Looks like a casserole t'me. It's real good, though."

"Yeah, I'm hungry," Jack replied as he opened the passenger door to lift Bobby out. His pillow fell on the ground, so Ennis picked it up. Then his blanket was dragging, so Ennis picked that up, too, and followed Jack. They made a funny little train up the porch, through the entryway, the kitchen, the living room, and into one of the downstairs bedrooms. Ennis slipped ahead and pulled back the covers. Bobby didn't even wake as Jack undressed him and put him in one of Ennis's clean t-shirts, because he wasn't sure where he'd put Bobby's pajamas. Jack tucked him in, brushed his hair off his forehead, and kissed him there.

Ennis smiled at him from the doorway. "He sure looks like you, bud."

"Ya think so?" It seemed to please Jack.

"Yeah, I do. He's a handsome little devil, just like his daddy." This drew a smile from Jack. They walked to the kitchen. "You sit down, I'll get you a plate."

"I can't sit–I been sittin' in that truck fer two damn days. I need a beer. You want one?"

"Sure."

They sat at the kitchen table, Jack with a plate of hotdish in front of him. "How'd things go with Alma an' yer girls?" he asked.

Ennis told him, with some amount of disbelief, how well Alma had reacted.

"Shit, I wasn't expectin' that. I thought she'd give ya a worse time."

"Me too. I'm glad she didn't. I was pretty worried she wouldn't let me see the girls ever again. I asked for time at Christmas and in the summer and she agreed."

"Did ya tell the girls about us?" Jack asked hesitantly.

"I was gonna, but it was so hard on them just to know I was movin' away. I thought it might be better to wait–let my leavin' sink in before hittin' them with somethin' else. I'll tell 'em before their first visit." He looked away, sighed, "I don't know if it was the right thing to do, to wait, but it's what I did." Pause. "Have you told Bobby anything?"

"No. I haven't had the words or the energy yet. I'll tell him tomorrow. I ain't livin' a lie no more. Not fer him or anyone."

"I think that's best, Jack. He'll be here with us every day, after all. Let me know what ya need from me. If'n ya wanna tell him together or if ya want me t'stay away for a while, give ya some time alone."

"Thanks, bud. I don't know how I'm gonna tell him, yet." Jack yawned hugely.

Ennis stood up, held out his hand, "Come on, darlin'. You're exhausted."

Jack didn't argue, just took the hand that was offered and followed him up the stairs to their bedroom. Once inside, they stripped down to their boxers and slipped between the sheets. Ennis pulled Jack into his arms and kissed him, slow and deep. Jack's arms went around Ennis and pulled him even closer. Their legs tangled together as the kiss deepened even further.

"God, I missed you," Ennis breathed, touching his forehead to Jack's, his heart pounding.

"I missed you, too, baby." Jack ran his hand down Ennis's side onto his hip and leaned in to meet his lips again, kissing softly before moving down to his neck, sucking gently as he went. Ennis arched his head back, moaning softly and tightening his legs around Jack's, bringing them even closer. Ennis knew Jack was tired and he should let him sleep, but he could feel Jack's arousal, as evident as his, separated only by the thin cotton of their boxers. Ennis ground his pelvis into Jack's and met his lips again.

Moments later Ennis untangled them and pushed his boxers off. Jack did the same and turned over to reach for the box on the night stand. Ennis grabbed him from behind and pulled him backwards. He kissed the back of Jack's neck, then the sensitive spot between his shoulder blades.

"Ennis . . . Jesus . . ." Jack sighed.

Ennis used some of the lube Jack handed him, smoothing it over himself, then pushed into Jack from behind, slowly, holding his hips steady. That was apparently too slow for Jack, because he reached back for Ennis and surged backwards. Ennis grunted with surprise and pleasure, moved his hand to grip Jack's hard length and began to slide his hand in rhythm with their bodies. Their legs spooned close, their feet laced together, they moved as one, Ennis curled around Jack and Jack arching back, reaching back, hanging on.

Jack turned his head to kiss the arm that cradled his head, put his free hand out to entwine his fingers with Ennis's and squeezed. Felt his desire reach new heights at the sight of their hands melded into one. Their rhythm was flawless on this night, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, but always in tune. Their bodies were slick with sweat, the scent of musk heavy in the room. Ennis kissed Jack's neck, his back, his shoulder, and finally felt Jack shudder, felt the hot wetness on his hand, felt his whole body tingle with electric energy and then become heavy with release.

They lay still, threaded together, from their hands to their feet. Ennis slid out of Jack and Jack felt like a part of himself slipped out. He curled up tighter, pulling Ennis with him, around him. He fell asleep this way, feeling safe, protected, and loved.

* * *

Jack woke up alone in the bed, but could hear the sound of shower, so he assumed Ennis must be in there. He stretched and looked around the bedroom that was now his and Ennis's. He'd slept in here several nights, but hadn't really paid attention to the room itself. It was spacious but cozy, three walls made of the chinked logs of the house. There were two dressers against one wall, a bench at the end of the bed, and night stands on each side of it. There was a closet built into the smooth wall that separated the bedroom from the rest of the loft. Another door led to their private bathroom. The floor was smooth hardwood, covered with colorful throw rugs. A large window looked out over the surrounding field and in the distance he could see a forest and the lake he and Ennis had walked to.

Ennis came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He sat next to Jack on the bed and leaned down to kiss him. Jack smelled the mint of toothpaste and the subtle scent of Ennis's aftershave. "Mornin', darlin'." Ennis smiled at him.

"Mmm . . ." Jack put his arms up around Ennis's neck and drew him close. "You smell good." Ennis nuzzled into his neck and Jack yelped. Ennis grinned mischievously. "Your hair's wet! And cold!"

"Get yer lazy self up," Ennis nuzzled his neck again, this time kissing him gently.

"Well, if you'd get offa me, I would," Jack teased.

"I don' know if I wanna do that," Ennis continued his kissing, running his tongue up Jack's neck.

Jack was just deciding that he didn't really want to get out of bed and was reaching to pull Ennis's towel off when they froze, hearing from downstairs, "Daddy!" Their eyes met, held, and they both laughed softly. Ennis went to the dresser to get some boxers and jeans. Jack grabbed a pair of boxers off the floor and pulled them on, opened the bedroom door and looked over the rail. "I'll be right down, Bobby, just a minute." He pulled on his jeans from the night before and his t-shirt. He turned to Ennis, "You comin' down? I should prob'ly introduce you guys properly."

Ennis just nodded, tucking his shirt in his jeans. He didn't know why, but he was nervous. He wanted Jack's son to like him. He smoothed his hands down his buttons, then smoothed his hair down. Jack didn't miss it, but didn't comment either. Just said softly, "Come on, cowboy," and led the way down the stairs. He went into the room they'd deposited Bobby in the night before. "Hey, little man. How'd ya sleep?" Bobby was sitting up in the bed, looking lost in all the quilts and the oversized t-shirt.

"Good," he said hesitantly. He peered around Jack at Ennis, clearly questioning who this was.

"Bobby, this here's Ennis. Remember I told ya a little about him?" Bobby nodded.

"Hello, Bobby, it's nice t'meet you," Ennis smiled at him.

"Nice t'meet you too," Bobby replied, then turned to Jack, "Daddy, where's the bathroom? I gotta pee."

"Okay, come on," Bobby hopped out of bed and went to the door. Jack pointed next to the fireplace. "It's right there. Why don't you take a shower while you're in there? I'll go out t'the trailer and find your clothes." He showed Bobby where the towels and washcloths were and then he and Ennis went outside to the trailer. They found the suitcases Jack had packed Bobby's clothes in.

"You should have Bobby pick out which room he wants." Ennis said. "Then we can start moving some of his stuff in it." They went back inside, carrying the suitcases. Jack opened one on the table and rummaged around, looking for clothes for Bobby, then went to the bathroom, knocked, and opened the door to leave the clothes inside. He came out and told Ennis he was going to take a shower himself and headed up the stairs.

Jack was still upstairs when Bobby came out of the bathroom, clean and dressed. He stood for a moment, looking around hesitantly. He finally noticed Ennis in the kitchen and walked toward him. "Where's my daddy?"

"He went to take a shower. You want some orange juice? Cereal? Toast?" Ennis asked.

"Sure," Bobby replied, still hesitant. Ennis turned to the cupboards and got out everything he needed. Bobby poured some cereal in a bowl while he got the milk and juice out of the refrigerator. He buttered the toast and put it in front of Bobby, then got himself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. They didn't speak for a few moments.

Ennis cleared his throat, "After you're done with breakfast, why don't you take a look around, pick out which room ya want t'be yours. There's the one you slept in last night, one next to it, and two upstairs . . ." he trailed off, remembering then that there were _three_ bedrooms upstairs. He hoped Bobby wouldn't ask where he and Jack slept, not yet, before Jack had talked to him about them. He was saved by Jack coming down the stairs, looking considerably better.

Jack poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the table with them. "D'you wanna take a look around, see the horses, Bobby?" Jack asked.

"Ennis said I could pick out my room."

Jack started to say _okay_, but Ennis interrupted with, "Well, Bobby, maybe your daddy could show you around the farm and then you c'n pick out yer room." Ennis said. Jack met his eyes, eyebrows raised, clearly not understanding. "Why don't you go get yer boots? I think yer daddy left them in the room you slept in."

As soon as Bobby disappeared, Jack turned to him. Ennis whispered quickly, "I fergot–he might ask where _we_ sleep, then we'd halfta explain why we're in one bedroom. You should have yer talk afore he picks out a room. Won't be so awkward then."

Jack agreed, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of it himself.

* * *

Jack stood on the shore of the lake, looking at it, but not really seeing it. The ice had begun to melt and open water showed over most of the lake. Bobby was picking up rocks and throwing them in. There was a bench on the shore, near the trail. Jack sat on it and called Bobby over.

"We gotta talk 'bout some stuff, son."

Bobby kicked his legs, which didn't quite reach the ground, looked up at his dad. His eyes, so blue and trusting, a perfect reflection of Jack's.

"Bobby, I gotta explain somethin' t'you an' it ain't easy, but it's important."

"Come on, daddy, just spit it out." He sounded exactly like Lureen.

"Well, the thing is, I . . . I . . . me 'n Ennis . . ." he paused, scrubbed his hand down over his face, "Shit."

"Don't cuss, daddy."

"Sorry, son. You know how me an' your momma, we were in love, so we got married, an' lived together? Well, me an' Ennis are in love. We met a long time ago–afore you were born–and we been friends ever since then. More than friends. I love him an' he loves me. We're gonna live together here at the farm."

"Are ya gonna get married?" Bobby asked, looking very confused.

"No, son, two men can't get married. Not now . . . maybe someday . . ." he trailed off, then said, "Some people think it's a real bad thing, two men bein' in love. They think it ain't right, that it's a sin." He looked down at his son, "You might even get teased fer it, Bobby. I'll do ever'thing I can to prevent that, but it still might happen. I'm sorry, son, I wouldn't do anything that would intentionally hurt you, but I can't help this."

"Well, how can ya love him if ya can't marry him?" Bobby asked, still looking confused.

"Son, whether you can marry someone or not is part of the laws of the gover'ment. Me lovin' Ennis, I reckon that's part of God's plan that I don' understand, but I'm thankful for it." He looked out over the lake for a moment and then back to Bobby. "But just 'cause I love Ennis and want t'be with him doesn't mean I don't love you any less. You're my son and I love you." He pulled Bobby close and kissed the top of his head, "I love you more than anythin', son. I'm so sorry your momma's gone, but I'm sure glad you're here with me. I sure am." He felt Bobby's arms go around his waist and hug him tight. Jack held him like that for a long time. He wasn't sure Bobby completely understood what he was talking about. "Son, if you have any questions, even after we're done talkin' here, I hope ya know you can come to me."

"I know, daddy. I will." Bobby looked up into his daddy's eyes. "Daddy? I'm cold. Can we go in an' have some hot cocoa?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Jack picked him up and put him on his back and galloped part of the way down the trail. Bobby giggled and held on tight.

They went in the house and it seemed that Ennis had some sixth sense, because he had a pot of cocoa on the stove, warming for them. Bobby drank some of his, then walked around the house, at Jack's urging, opening doors and taking it all in. He finally decided on an upstairs room, in the corner. Bobby wanted his own dresser (with the cowboys and horses stenciled on it), so they moved out the one already in the room and put his in its stead. Jack unpacked his suitcases into the dresser, put his own pillow on the bed, and covered it with the quilt from his momma. They brought in the wooden chest filled with his toys, his lamp that looked like it was made of rope, and the curtains that matched his quilt. When they'd finished, Ennis looked around and announced that it looked like a nine year old boy definitely lived in this room.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

_June, 1976_

_(three months later)_

They were settling into a routine. Jack had shown more interest in learning about the business side of things, while Ennis preferred to deal with the day-to-day running of the farm. He'd always loved horses, but working with them every day had awakened in him a new respect and new love for them. He had a gift for knowing what they needed and a way of soothing them that he'd never tapped into before. Tyler commented that his uncle had the same gift. They had not gotten around to hiring another farm hand, yet. Tyler had started coming earlier and staying later. Ennis appreciated it and told him it wouldn't always be that way, but he was wary of hiring someone new with them starting out fresh. Especially after Jim.

Jim had indeed been spreading the word around town about Jack and Ennis, trying to stir up trouble for them, but fortunately, he wasn't well-liked by anyone, so his word didn't have much impact. Ennis still worried, though. He knew that men like Jim eventually found each other and with that finding, a cancer could grow.

It seemed Gordon was correct; however, in that his uncle had been very well-regarded in town and that regard seemed to extend some credit to Ennis and by that token, it extended to Jack, too. He knew he and Jack would have to work hard to earn respect of their own, though, so he would do what he could. They'd already made friends with the owner of the feed store, Rusty, and his son, Bill, who ran it together. They'd gone to the supper club where Kelly's mom, Alice, worked and met her. She hadn't been too sure about her daughter working for "boys like them", but Kelly had spoken highly of them, Jack had been his charming self, and Bobby clinched the deal. Alice found him adorable and she had a grandson about the same age, so Bobby asked Kelly if she'd bring him with her someday. She promised she would, if it was okay with his parents. Alice even let him follow her into the kitchen and see the big grill and told him next time he came he could run the power washer and wash some dishes. That sounded good to him.

It was evening and Jack was sitting on the edge of the bed, while Ennis brushed his teeth. "I was thinkin'," Jack started, earning a look with a raised eyebrow from Ennis. Jack smirked and went on, "we could bring in more profit if we took over the books ourselves. We pay that accountant a pretty penny every month." Ennis didn't say anything, so he went on, "I know a bit about bus'ness, but could use a little polishin'. I checked into that community college in Goosedown and they got a summer accounting class startin' next week. Thought maybe I'd go check into it. Unless you want to?" Jack still felt like this was Ennis's farm and he was here only by his good graces.

Ennis spit in the sink and rinsed his mouth. "I ain't takin' no accountin' class, Jack. You go ahead if'n ya want to." He looked at Jack, said more kindly, "Sounds like a good idea, bud." He crawled under the covers and turned to face Jack. "We need t'hire a couple more hands, though. Tyler's been great, but it ain't enough."

"I know. I was thinkin' o' that too. More buyers comin', wantin' more. An' now that the mares have started foaling there's even more t'be done. If we weren't payin' the accountant, we could start addin' more horses."

Ennis grunted in agreement. "Maybe we should try t'hire someone by the end o' the month, afore the girls come out t'visit. I'll wanna spend time with them, not workin' from sunup t'sundown and half the night, too, sometimes."

"I gotta go t'the feed store tomorrow. I'll talk t'Rusty, maybe he knows some good guys."

"Sounds good."

Jack went to brush his teeth, then got in his side of the bed. Ennis pulled him close; Jack met his lips for a deep kiss. "Mmm . . . you taste good," Jack sighed.

Ennis smiled against his lips. "It's the toothpaste, dummy."

"It's more'n that. I love the way _you_ taste." As if to prove his point, he ran his tongue down Ennis's chin, his neck, and stopped to kiss his adam's apple before making his way back up the same way.

"Jack . . ." Ennis moaned, even as Jack's lips claimed his again. It didn't take long for Ennis to declare that he loved the way Jack tasted, too, and then all words were lost in the night, except the sounds of the spring peeper frogs coming in the window and the soft sighs and moans coming from the bed.

* * *

School had ended the last day of May, so Bobby was home all the time. He'd made a friend who lived close, within biking distance. Danny McIntyre was a blond-haired, blue-eyed imp, in Ennis's opinion. Those two boys together could get into more trouble than he'd ever even dreamed of. It wasn't malicious or even usually planned, but luck didn't seem to follow them when they were together. Both boys fell in love with the miniature horses and Bobby had taken it upon himself to be their personal caretaker, but when Danny helped him they sometimes forgot to lock the gate or one of the stalls and so they had to catch one or more that had wandered off. They seemed to have a radar for finding mud and a penchant for falling out of trees, resulting in minor injuries. Danny was the youngest of four and his parents were nice, but a little scatter-brained. Jack was relieved that they seemed to like him and Ennis and that they allowed Danny to spend time at their house.

Junior and Francine were coming to visit for a week at the end of June. Ennis was nervous. He was going to drive out and get them, so he'd have time to talk to them about him and Jack before they got there. He also had never spent more than an overnight with them since the divorce. He hoped they would like the farm and Jack and Bobby. Honestly, he hoped they still loved him, once he'd had his talk with them, something he felt was almost too much to ask for. It didn't stop him from hoping for it, though.

* * *

Jack talked to Rusty and had gotten some recommendations for new farmhands. Two guys were coming the next day. Today, however, one of the fences on the outer pastures needed fixing. It was a warm day in early June. The sky above was pale blue, with pristine white clouds piled high upon each other. Tyler was holding the board for Ennis, while he drove the nails in. Ennis liked Tyler, liked working with him. He was quiet, thoughtful, and hard-working. He knew what needed to be done without having to be told and could do it without supervision.

Tyler had shared with him that he was Anishinabe Indian, which meant "original people", but most people called them Chippewa or Ojibwa. He lived nearby on the reservation with his father and sometimes other relatives lived with them. He didn't share much more and Ennis didn't ask.

Ennis stood there, waiting for Tyler to get the board in the right spot and he realized that he was staring at Tyler's hands. They were the same dark, coppery color of his skin, lighter under his nails. They were nicked with scars from hard work, like Ennis's, and strong, with long graceful fingers. Ennis felt something shift in his brain and he looked up to see Tyler's dark, soulful eyes meet his. In that heartbeat, he knew that Tyler knew what he'd felt. Only, he didn't really know what_ it_ was. Just knew that it was _something_. He looked away quickly, finished pounding the nails in, using more force than necessary. When they'd finished with the last board, they picked up their tools, mounted their horses, and rode back to the farm in silence.

In the stable, they took the saddles off the horses, then brushed and rubbed them down, the silence still thick between them. Neither was normally very talkative, but there was a tension between them now and neither knew what to do with it. Ennis went into the house and up to the office, where he knew he'd find Jack. Before he entered the office, though, he stopped and made a quick turn into their bedroom instead. He sat on the bed, his head in his hands. "Fuck." He ran his hands through his hair then down over his face. Ennis had never looked at another man before. Not in _that_ way. Never even considered he might. Jack had always been the only one–his only one. _Still is_, he thought vehemently. But what happened with Tyler unsettled him. And the way Tyler had looked at him, with those deep, dark eyes. Like twin bottomless wells of darkness and light. Ennis shook his head, cursed some more.

He heard Jack's footsteps come from the office and stop at the doorway. Ennis looked up to see him leaning against the doorjam. "Hey, cowboy. What's up?"

"Hmph. Nothin'. Jus' tired, is all. Got up early with Brownie–had her foal this mornin'."

"Oh, okay." Jack knew something else was wrong, but also knew it would do no good to try and get it out of Ennis. He'd talk when he felt like it and not before.

"How's yer class goin'?"

Jack laughed. "It's goin' better, though I still feel mighty out o' place in it."

Ennis smiled wanly at him, "I'm sure you're doin' jus' fine, darlin'."

"Yeah, I like it." Silence stretched between them. Jack broke it first, realized Ennis wasn't yet ready to share what was troubling him, "I got some more studyin' t'do. Let me know if ya need me," he started back for the office, turned back, "You seen Bobby anywhere?"

"Not lately."

"Maybe I should go look fer 'im."

"No, you go back t'yer studyin'. I'll go find 'im. He's prob'ly doin' something he's not supposed to with that little McIntyre trouble-magnet," he said, with finally a small smile for Jack.

Jack grinned and turned around, went back in the office. Ennis went down the stairs. Kelly was in the kitchen, peeling potatoes at the sink. Ennis asked if she'd seen Bobby.

"He rode his bike over to Danny's house. Danny's dad hauled in some new sand for the sand pile, so the boys were going to break it in with their cars and trucks. Oh, and Tyler said to tell you that he's sorry, but he had to leave early today . . . said he'd be back in the morning."

Ennis didn't reply, just went back to the stable and saddled his horse again, intending to ride the perimeter of the fences, make sure no other repairs where needed. When he finished that, he tilled up the little garden plot Kelly had asked for. She wanted to plant a small kitchen garden for them. He'd been putting it off for a week. She came out of the house, drawn by the noise and the aroma of freshly turned earth.

"Oh, Ennis, thank you! I hoped you'd have time to do that today. I want to get my starter plants in the ground." Her face was lit by her wide smile.

"You're welcome. Sorry it took so long."

"No, no, it's okay. I'll get Bobby to help me plant them when he gets home. I think he'd like that."

Ennis put the tiller away in the shed. He still felt restless and out of sorts, so he went to the stable and checked each horse, double-checked the new foals, and finally got a beer and sat on the deck, lost in his thoughts. After an hour, and another beer, he convinced himself that _nothing_ had happened, that he'd imagined the whole thing, that he was tired from being up so early, and that was it.

* * *

That night, he and Jack went to bed with a tired good-night kiss, curled up facing away from each other. Ennis drifted to sleep, uneasily, only to wake a couple of hours later with a throbbing hard-on. He heard Jack's even breathing, saw his face bathed in moonlight, his lips parted slightly, his hair a black hole on the white pillow case. _How c'n a man be so fuckin' beautiful?_ Ennis thought, not for the first time. The guilt he'd been feeling was pushed out of the way by his love and his aching need for Jack.

Ennis ran his fingers lightly across Jack's chest and heard a hitch in the even breathing. He moved his hand lower, over the silkiness of Jack's stomach. Jack turned his head toward Ennis, but didn't open his eyes. Ennis knew Jack wasn't awake yet, but couldn't stop himself from continuing his exploration of Jack's body. He was rewarded with a purring moan from deep inside Jack as he bucked his hips the slightest bit. Suddenly, Ennis wanted Jack in his mouth; he knew Jack loved it, but it was something they didn't do often. He pushed the blankets off Jack and moved down the bed, settling himself between Jack's legs, smiling to see that Jack was as aroused as he was. He touched him lightly with his tongue, once, and again, before taking the tip into his mouth.

Jack opened his eyes partway, thinking he was dreaming. He bucked his hips again and then realized that Ennis was down there, nestled between his legs and_ oh my god, that feels so good_. He lost himself in the sensation as Ennis licked and sucked and fondled. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and told Ennis so, told him he needed him inside him _right now_, so Ennis raised up and obliged him. Release came quickly for both, having been most of the way there already. Ennis collapsed on Jack's chest, both breathing hard.

"Wow," Jack finally whispered, "what brought that on?"

"You did," was all Ennis would say, kissing Jack deeply, then rolling off him. Jack curled himself around Ennis, sensing he needed to be the one to be held tonight.

* * *

Tyler came in the house in the early morning and got himself a cup of coffee, as usual. No one else was around, but he figured Ennis had been down to make the coffee. He sat at the dining room table in the near dark. He heard a noise and glanced up. He could just see the door to Ennis and Jack's bedroom from where he was sitting. Ennis had opened the door, fully dressed, but Jack, in just a pair of boxers, had pulled him back, almost inside, his arms around Ennis's neck. Ennis turned, took Jack in his arms, and met his lips for a long, lingering kiss. It was the first sign of affection Tyler had observed between the two men. He couldn't move and couldn't look away, until Ennis broke the kiss, said something to Jack in a low voice, earning another quick kiss from Jack. Tyler came back to himself and realized he'd just observed a very intimate moment and felt like an intruder. He shifted his body, silently, so he no longer could see the bedroom door and directed his gaze out the window. Ennis came down the stairs a moment later and looked startled to see Tyler sitting there.

"Mornin'," Ennis greeted him.

"Morning," Tyler nodded back, taking another sip of his coffee, then stood and followed Ennis outside.

The two new hands showed up about an hour later, so Ennis and Tyler were busy the rest of the day showing them around and breaking them in. Ennis was thankful that by the end of the day, they were back to being comfortable with each other. By the end of the week, Ennis had almost forgotten the whole thing had happened.

* * *

Ennis was jittery. He was leaving to pick up his daughters and they were coming back with him to spend a week on the farm. It was much like the last time he'd gone back to Wyoming. He and Jack were in the garage, arms around each other, not wanting to let go. The only difference was, this time, Jack was staying and would be here when he got back.

"You drive careful, you hear me?" Jack was telling him.

"I will, darlin'. Don't worry."

"Call me when ya get there, else I'm gonna worry the whole time."

"I will, but I told ya not t'worry." Ennis smiled his lopsided smile, their foreheads touching, blond curls mingling with the shiny black hair.

"I love you, Ennis."

Ennis nodded, throat closed, _I love you, too_, he thought, but couldn't get the words out.

Jack smiled, knowing–met Ennis's lips in a kiss that seemed to go on forever. Then he was gone and Ennis was in the truck. He met Tyler's car at the end of the driveway, raised his hand in a half-wave, met those twin bottomless wells of darkness and light, and drove on.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Jack shifted restlessly in his chair. He was trying to watch the late news, but couldn't concentrate. He moved again, was still momentarily, then finally got up, turned off the television, and went up the stairs to bed. Ennis had been gone since yesterday morning and still hadn't called. Jack wasn't exactly worried, but he'd feel better if he called. He changed into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and was just pulling back the blankets when he heard a strange noise. He paused, the corner of the bedding still in his hand, and he heard it again. It was coming from Bobby's room. He walked to the door and knocked softly. Bobby didn't say anything, but the noise came again. Jack suspected he knew what it was and opened the door. His suspicions were correct. Bobby was curled into a little ball, his hands to his face, and he was crying.

"Oh, honey," Jack said, taking him in his arms. Bobby put his arms around his neck and hung on. Jack ran his hand up and down his back and made soothing noises. "It's okay . . . it's okay . . ." Bobby wiped his nose on his nose on his sleeve and put his head against Jack's chest. "You miss your momma?" A small nod. "I know, son. It's okay t'miss her. I'm sure she's lookin' down on you from Heaven and lookin' after you. Like a guardian angel." They were silent while Jack rocked him slowly back and forth, before tucking him back into bed. He went to leave and Bobby grabbed his hand.

"Daddy? Would you stay with me fer a little while?"

"O' course," Jack laid next to him on the bed and put his arms around his son. He awoke hours later, opening his eyes to find Bobby sleeping peacefully, on his stomach, his face turned toward Jack, cheeks flushed and his eyes still a little red around them. In that moment, Jack realized how much he loved this little person.

He hadn't been happy when Lureen had gotten pregnant, but he'd done his duty and married her anyway. He'd done his duty as a father ever since then, and of course he loved Bobby, right from the start. But in this moment, he realized that his life was not all about him anymore. He realized that there was more to being a father than "duty". He realized, with a sense of awe, that he _loved _his son. He had a moment of panic at the thought, that he was responsible, _really responsible_, for this little person next to him, but that passed quickly, engulfed by the love that surged through his heart. He lay next to Bobby for a long time, taking stock of his life, the past, the present, and the future, and before he got up and went downstairs for some coffee and a cigarette, he realized that he was right where he needed to be. He'd been given two gifts, a real life with Ennis, the love of his life, and a real life with his son, and he would not waste them.

* * *

The phone rang at about 9:00 that morning. Jack had been hanging out in the house, pacing rather restlessly, which Kelly had noted, so he answered it.

"Hello?" A sigh of relief, "Hey, cowboy . . . yeah, no, it's okay . . .all right . . . I can't wait t'see ya . . . okay, bye."

"That was Ennis," Kelly just smiled, stirring the lemonade she was making. "I guess you knew that. He's heading back, should be here sometime tomorrow." He looked around. "Well, I guess I'll head out to the stables. Call if ya need anything."

"I will, Jack," she said, putting the lemonade in the refrigerator to chill, then went out to the garden. Her mom, Alice, was seated in a lawn chair. Bobby was next to the garden, kneeling over the cucumber hills, pulling weeds. "How're you doing, Bobby? You remember which ones are cukes and which are weeds?"

"Yep."

Another boy, slightly older, with sandy-colored hair, was next to the row of tomatoes. "How're you doing, Scott?"

"Good." Scott was her nephew, her brother Pat's son. He and Alice had come with her to spend the day. Alice was planning to do some baking for when Ennis's daughters were visiting. "Hey, Grandma, are you gonna put nuts in the cookies. You know I don't like nuts," he said, craning his head to look at Alice.

"I know, dear. I won't put nuts in all of them."

"I like nuts in my chocolate chip cookies, Grandma," Bobby said.

Scott snorted and laughed, "She's not your grandma, dummy!"

"Scott! You know better than to call names," Kelly said, as Bobby put his head down, his face red. "You apologize right now."

"Sorry," Scott said, looking ashamed.

"Bobby, come here," Alice said. She was a tiny woman, not even five feet tall, with wavy salt and pepper hair that she kept short and curled around her ears. She had merry hazel eyes and looked and acted younger than she was. Bobby stood up, head still down, brushed some of the dirt off his hands, and walked slowly to her chair. She leaned forward, put one arm around him and put the other hand under his chin, lifted his face to meet her eyes, "Kelly told me your own grandparents all live far away. If you want to, you can call me 'grandma' or 'grandma Alice'." She smiled kindly at him, "I can be a substitute grandma." She saw a smile forming on his lips, "Would you like that?" A small nod. "Well, okay then, 'grandma' it is. Of course, being a grandma means I get hugs whenever I want and I think I'd like one right now, from you, if that's okay with you?" Bobby smiled up at her and threw his arms around her neck. "My goodness! What a strong boy you are!" she exclaimed, hugging him back.

Bobby went back to weeding the cucumbers. After a while, Alice stood up, "I'm going inside and do some baking. First on my list is chocolate chip cookies with nuts . . . and without."

The boys disappeared when Danny McIntyre appeared on his bike. They started for the stables and Kelly told them to let her or Jack know if they were going anywhere else. She continued with the weeding until it was time to make lunch. She stood up, rubbing her lower back. She saw Jack and Tyler walking towards the house, so she took her gloves off and tried to smooth her hair back, and hoped she didn't have any dirt on her face. "Hi, guys."

"Hey, beautiful," Jack sparkled at her, while Tyler just smiled.

A little color rose to her cheeks. "Are you coming in for lunch? I haven't made it yet. I didn't realize it was getting so late. " Her blush deepened.

"Don't worry 'bout it. We're just comin' t'get some o' that lemonade you were makin' earlier. And we heard a rumor that there were chocolate chip cookies bein' baked," Jack said, following her in the house. Once inside, he turned to Tyler, "I guess that rumor was right. It smells like heaven in here," he breathed deeply.

Alice turned from the counter where she was sliding cookies off a pan onto waxed paper. Jack leaned down to kiss her cheek, "Alice, they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I think I love you," he put a cookie in his mouth and took a bite, chewed, swallowed, "Nope, I know I love you. These are the best cookies I've ever tasted."

Alice blushed and grinned, "You sweet talker. Go on, get out of here, you're in my way," she flapped her hands at them. Jack and Tyler took their lemonade and a couple of cookies to the deck and sat down.

Jack was surprised when Tyler broke the silence. "Can I ask you something, Jack?"

"Sure."

Tyler was silent for a moment, then asked finally, "How did you and Ennis meet? How long have you known each other?"

"Well, we met back in 1963. We were hired to herd sheep in the mountains fer one summer. We didn't see each other fer four years after that. Then, in '67, we got t'gether again and stayed in touch."

Tyler was silent again, before asking finally, very softly, "How did it happen? I mean, how did you know? About each other?"

Jack looked at him sharply, but Tyler was looking down at the glass of lemonade in his hands. "Well . . . we just . . . we just . . . felt it, I guess . . . 'bout each other. Happened that first summer. I fell in love with him and I reckon he fell fer me, too, but neither one o' us knew it, I don't think. Fer my part, I couldn't get 'im outta my mind. Found 'im four years later, after we'd both got married, had kids, was like no time passed. We met up ev'ry few months, fer a few days. But when Ennis got divorced, I thought there might be a chance an' I took it. Drove up t'Wyoming, full o' hope. Almost didn't happen. Ennis . . . he's always been more cautious than me–scared. Somethin' happened in his childhood, put the fear in 'im. But somethin' changed his mind and here we are."

Tyler nodded thoughtfully. "You love him." It wasn't a question.

"With all my heart."

* * *

Ennis drove in the dark. He hadn't planned on driving through the night, but he wasn't tired and figured if he wasn't tired he might as well be driving. The girls slept on the seat next to him, Francine leaning on Junior, who was leaning on a pillow propped on the door. He thought about the conversation they'd had that morning, before leaving Riverton. He'd told them all about the farm and the horses, before telling them that he lived there with Jack. Told them that Bobby was living there now, too. Francine had looked confused; Junior looked anxious.

"Wha' does that mean, Daddy? Why is Jack livin' with you?" Junior asked, almost afraid of the answer. So, he'd told them how he and Jack had met, up on Brokeback, how he'd been sick afterwards, havin' t'say good-bye t' Jack. How Jack'd found him four years later. Told them, quietly, that he was in love with Jack. He could barely say it to Jack, but to his daughters, he had to be honest. He wanted them to understand, but knew that they might not ever understand something like this. Not when almost everyone felt that it was so wrong, that it was a sin. He felt guilt at the look of fear in Junior's eyes. Francine didn't quite seem to understand. She was too young to completely comprehend what he was talking about, he thought.

In the end, however, it was Francine who asked him, "Are ya happy, Daddy?" to which he'd nodded, tears gathering in his eyes. She put her arms around his neck and said, "Then I'm happy fer you," and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Junior had hugged him, too, but silently.

They arrived at the farm in the early morning. Ennis carried Francine in and settled her into the same bed they'd put Bobby his first night. He went back out an got Junior, carried her inside and put her next to her sister. Neither one had woken up.

He stripped his clothes off in the dark and slid in bed next to Jack. Jack opened his eyes partway, "Mmm . . . I must be dreamin'."

"You ain't dreamin', darlin'." Ennis kissed him and curled up to his side. Jack put his arms around him and drew him close.

"I didn' expect ya'll till tomorrow afternoon."

"I didn' feel like stoppin'. Wanted t'get here soon's I could."

"Well, I ain't complainin'." He nuzzled his face into Ennis's hair, kissed there. "I surely missed you, baby."

"I missed you, too, darlin'." Ennis yawned, sleepy now, felt safe. He fell asleep within minutes. Jack dozed in and out and held Ennis close the rest of the night.

In spite of his lack of sleep, Ennis was awake early. He and Jack showered and dressed before any of the kids were up. They sat at the table, each with a cup of coffee and cigarette in front of them. Jack stubbed his out and leaned back in his chair. Ennis looked at him and silently reached out and took his hand. Jack smiled at him and laced their fingers tighter. It always amazed him how perfect their hands felt together. Ennis's hand slipped out of his a moment later, when they heard a 'click' behind them. Junior poked her head out of the bedroom door.

"Daddy?" Ennis rose, stopped to pick up the suitcases he'd retrieved from the truck earlier, and went to her.

"Mornin', Junior. Is yer sister awake."

"No, not yet." She glanced into the kitchen, but Jack had moved out onto the deck to give them some privacy.

"D'you wanna take a shower, get cleaned up?"

"Sure. Hang on." She rummaged through her suitcase, pulling out clean clothes, picked them up and followed him to the bathroom.

"Later today you girls can pick out yer own room fer when you come an' stay with us."

"Okay, Daddy." Junior shut the door and a few minutes later Ennis heard the shower running. He joined Jack on the deck. A few minutes later, Francine opened the door, went right up to him and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Hey, little girl. Good morning." She looked up at him and then over at Jack, curiosity in her eyes. "Francine, this is Jack Twist. Jack, this is Francine."

Jack smiled at her and put out his hand. She reached out and put her hand in his and he gave it a little shake. "It sure is nice t'meet ya, Francine."

"Nice t'meet you, too, Mr. Twist."

Jack laughed, "You c'n call me Jack, darlin'."

The door opened again and Bobby stepped out, looking a little uncertain. Jack introduced him to Francine. He said, "Nice t'meet ya." Then looked at his dad, "I"m hungry."

"Well, what's new?" Jack asked, smiling. "Come on, let's find ya somethin' t'eat. You hungry, Francine?" She nodded and followed Jack inside. They were putting out Bobby's favorite breakfast, cold cereal, toast, and orange juice, when Junior came out of the bathroom. She stopped at the kitchen counter. Ennis put his arm around her and led her to the table.

"Junior, this is Jack."

She looked at him with her big, brown eyes, so like her daddy's. "Hello, Junior. It's nice t'meet you." Jack said.

"You too," she replied softly.

"You want some cereal? Toast? Or, Alice made some muffins yesterday, they're real good. You want one o' them?" Jack asked.

"Sure."

He put one on a plate and set in front of her, along with the butter dish. She buttered the muffin and ate it silently. Bobby and Francine were talking and giggling, they seemed to have already become friends. When they were done, Bobby wanted her to go right to the stables to see the horses.

Jack laughed and reminded him he might wanna change out of his pajamas first. "You too, Franny, go get dressed and then I'll take you and Junior out t'see 'em." Ennis said.

Junior stayed at the table with Ennis and Jack. Silence stretched out between them for long, uncomfortable moments. They all looked up when the door opened and Kelly came in, a bag of groceries in each arm. Jack jumped up to help her. "Sorry I'm late, Jack, I stopped to pick up a few things and then I got a flat tire. Tyler's right behind me–he stopped to help me change it."

"Don't worry about it, sunshine."

"Hi, Ennis, I thought you weren't going to be here until this afternoon."

"I drove straight through last night. Didn't feel like stoppin'. Kelly, this is my daughter, Alma Jr. We jus' call her Junior, though."

"Hello, Junior."

"'Lo," Junior replied softly.

"I see you've all had breakfast already. Are you going to be around for lunch?"

"I have my class. Oh, I gotta get goin'," Jack said, rushing up the stairs for his books.

"Yeah, we're gonna hang around the farm today," Ennis told her.

Jack came back down the stairs, stopped at Ennis's chair and put his hand on his back for the merest moment, saying, "See ya'll this afternoon."

* * *

Jack crawled in bed next to Ennis, who lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "How d'ya think it went t'day?"

"Bobby and Franny seemed t'hit it off real good. Junior, I don' know. She was awful quiet."

"Yeah. Maybe in a few days she'll relax."

"I hope so," Ennis sighed.

"Ennis," Jack started, "do you know, I mean, do you think that Tyler is, you know, like us?"

Ennis didn't look at him, he was barely breathing. Finally, he asked, "Why d'ya say that?"

"He was askin' 'bout us, how we met, how we _knew_, 'bout each other. I got the impression it was 'cause he was the same way."

"I don' know, Jack."

Jack propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Ennis. "Hey, is somethin' wrong?" He turned Ennis's face to meet his.

Ennis reached up to caress Jack's face. "No, nothin's wrong, darlin'."

Jack smiled and leaned down to kiss him. They kissed for a long time, sweet kisses that weren't leading to anything more. Jack loved kissing Ennis; loved the soft strength in his lips and mouth, loved the feeling of their tongues meeting and exploring each others' mouths, loved the sounds that came from Ennis. He also loved the look that came into Ennis's eyes–an intense look of desire that was meant for him and him alone. He drew back, just to see that look, knew it was reflected in his own eyes.

Ennis ran his hands through Jack's hair, caressed his cheek with his rough fingers. He drew Jack down, turning towards him, their legs tangling together beneath the sheet. Their lips met again, in those sweet kisses.

In some far corner of his brain, Jack realized that Ennis was holding back. He understood Ennis. That this first night with the girls here, under the same roof, they weren't going to go beyond kissing. He also realized that it was okay. They didn't need to go beyond. Just the fact that Ennis was here, making out with him, in their bed, in their house, was so much more than he'd ever imagined. Jack's heart was filled with love. He smiled against Ennis's lips. Ennis smiled back, asked, "What?"

Jack kissed him again, softly, still smiling. "You," kiss, "make me," kiss, "so happy."

Ennis smiled his crooked smile and drew Jack's head down to his chest and sighed deeply, content. "You make me happy too, darlin'."

* * *

Ennis was in the paddock with Jojo, the gelding he'd taken a liking to and usually rode. He was a good, calm, strong horse. Today, however, he had Bobby up on Jojo. He was teaching him how to ride. Jack was at his accounting class and the girls were in the house with Kelly. She'd brought them some paper dolls and they were busy cutting them out. He saw a car coming down the driveway. A young looking woman got out and looked around as he opened the gate and walked Jojo over to her.

"C'n I help ya?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Mr. Jack Twist. I was told he lives here."

"Yes, ma'am, he does, but he's not home right now."

"Oh, okay. Well, my name is Janie Peterson. I'm a social worker with the county. I need to speak to Mr. Twist. It's very important." She looked up at Bobby on the horse. "Is this Mr. Twist's son, Bobby?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Hi, Bobby," she said, smiling at him.

"Hi," he said shyly to her, then looked to Ennis. Ennis patted his leg, he could see the anxiety in Bobby's eyes.

"Well," she took a card out of her pocket. "This is my card. Could you please have Mr. Twist call me? Like I said, I need to speak to him."

Ennis took the card. "I'll have 'im call ya." He put it in his pocket and turned back to Bobby. "Come on, son, let's put Jojo away and go get a snack. Maybe there's some o' those cookies Alice made left."

Janie got in her car and backed out. Ennis watched it disappear down the driveway, a finger of fear making its way into his heart.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"Yes, ma'am . . . alright . . . okay, see ya then." Jack hung up the phone and looked at Ennis, seated across the desk from him. Afternoon light streamed in the office window, making it bright in a way that didn't extend to the two men.

"Well, what'd she say?"

Jack ran his hands through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh. "Said she got a call. An _anonymous _call 'bout Bobby an' him livin' here with _two men. _I know what _anonymous _means. It means fuckin' L.D. Newsome. Goddamn that man t'hell!" Jack's voice was laced with barely controlled anger. He looked up at Ennis, his eyes dark. "She's comin' over tomorrow, after I get home from my class."

"Tomorrow? Jesus, Jack, can't she come next week when the girls ain't here? Alma's likely t'have a fit if'n she knew a social worker come by."

"No, she wouldn't wait, Ennis. Anyway, what's the big fuckin' deal? We ain't doin' nothin' wrong an' she can't say we are."

"Jack, are you livin' in some kinda dream world? Most a' the rest of the country thinks what we're doin' _is_ wrong. Or have ya forgotten? And she c'n say whatever the hell she wants. What if she hates who we are?"

Jack looked at Ennis. He'd started out angry and was ready to lash out, until that last part. The anger was quickly replaced by a feeling he couldn't even describe, but it brought a lump to his throat. Ennis was staring out the window, his jaw clenched tight. When Jack didn't respond for some time, he finally looked at him and saw the too-bright look in his eyes.

"What? What's the matter with you, Jack?"

"You. You just said 'who we are'. It's the first time I've heard ya say something like that, Ennis, admitting it out loud."

"Admitting what? What're ya talkin' about?"

Jack's good feeling slipped a little. _Baby steps, Jack, remember, he's takin' baby steps. _"Who we are. Me 'n you. Together. Queer. Gay."

Ennis just looked at him, then got up and walked out, his jaw clenched so tight Jack thought it might break. It wasn't exactly what Jack expected.

* * *

Ennis went out to the yard and kicked at the ground, his hands on his hips, cursing to himself. Finally, he was aware that a car had pulled in the driveway. It was a station wagon. _Christ, who's this now? _he thought, but wiped the scowl off his face, or so he hoped, and approached the car.

"Hello!" A tall, thin woman with dark blond hair, hanging loose and curly around her face, got out and waved to him. She looked to be in her early forties and had a pretty face. It was Ellen McIntyre, Danny's mom. "Hi, Ennis, how are you?" She smiled at him and he just looked at her for a moment, before remembering his manners. He nodded and said hello.

"Danny said your daughters are here visiting and that they're about my girls ages. I wanted to invite you all to a barbeque at our house tomorrow night. My girls are kinda shy, so they don't want to come over before they have a proper introduction."

That got a smile out of Ennis. _Imagine, someone from this family being shy? _After knowing Danny and his talkative mom, he found it hard to believe.

"Well, ma'am, I'll have t'talk t'Jack about it. Would ya like t'come in, have some lemonade?"

"Sure, for a minute, I guess." She smiled brightly and followed him inside. He got each of them a glass and invited her to sit at the table while he went to talk to Jack.

As he went up the stairs, he remembered the way he'd left Jack, just a few minutes ago, and now felt a bit of shame creep into his heart. He stopped at the office door and peered in before entering. Jack was seated at the desk, facing away from the door, staring out the window. Ennis went to him, knelt in front of the chair, and put his arms around Jack's waist. Jack was startled for a moment, but then returned the embrace and pulled Ennis close. "I'm sorry, Jack," Ennis mumbled into his chest.

"I know."

"I don' know what gets inta me sometimes."

"Jus' takes time, cowboy." Pause. "I'm sorry that social worker's gotta come when the girls are here. She sounded real nice, though."

"I hope she is." Another long pause.

Finally, Ennis pulled back and cleared his throat. "Danny's mom is here. She invited us fer a barbeque tomorrow night. You wanna go?"

"So that's what brought ya up here. Here I thought ya was just feelin' guilty." Jack pulled back from Ennis and started to stand up, an edge of anger to his voice.

"Jack, wait. That's true, but, I woulda come up here anyway. I _am_ sorry. I know this is a hard thing t'happen right now, 'specially when we're just startin' out." He took hold of Jack's shirt with both hands and pulled him forward, kissed him gently.

Jack held back for a moment, then relaxed and kissed him back. He took Ennis's hands in each of his and clasped them tight, broke the kiss, and pressed his forehead to Ennis's. "D'you wanna go t'the McIntyres?"

"Well . . . I'm not sure. But it might be fun an' they got a coupla girls my girls' ages, according t'Ellen."

"Okay, then. I think we should go. She in the kitchen?" At Ennis's nod, he stood up, as did Ennis, and they both went downstairs. The McIntyres might be a little scatter-brained, in Ennis's opinion, but they also had a good reputation. Ellen was on the school board and the family was active in the community.

Ellen stood up as they approached. "Jack, it's so nice to see you again. I've been meaning to invite you all over for ages, but we get so busy in the spring, planting and all. We put in a big garden. But Danny sure has found a kindred spirit in your son, Jack. And he's such a nice boy, so well-mannered! I've told Danny he should pay attention and pick up a few pointers!" she laughed.

"Now, don't say that. Danny's always been real polite when he's over. I'm glad Bobby was able t'make a friend so close. And I'm, well, me and Ennis both, are real glad you and your husband let Danny spend time here with us."

She smiled at Jack and then looked at Ennis, who could've sworn she winked at him. "I knew James Del Mar and he was a fine man, which speaks well for you, but everyone has to prove themselves a good person. I can tell about people, I've got good intuition, and I like you. Both of you."

Ennis gave her a real smile, for the first time. "What should we bring tomorrow?"

"Oh, don't bring anything–we'll have plenty. Maybe you can have us over soon and repay the favor?"

"O' course we will!" Jack said, smiling brightly.

"All right, see you all tomorrow," she said, going out the door.

Ennis looked at Jack and Jack looked back. A barbeque with the McIntyres seemed like an unexpected gift.

* * *

The girls were at the jukebox, picking out songs, Bobby was in the kitchen visiting grandma Alice, and Jack and Ennis were seated at a cozy table by the fireplace at Willow Bay, the restaurant where Alice worked. It was dimly lit, mostly by candles on the tables and soft lights lining the walls. They were in the dining room, but there was also a large dance floor, and a separate room that had pool tables and a bar in it. It was quiet in the supper club, being a weeknight, but as they sat talking quietly and waiting for the kids, both Jack and Ennis became aware of a commotion in the bar. The girls were closer to the bar, so they turned to look in the door, then looked at Ennis. He motioned them back to the table.

"What's goin' on, Daddy?" Junior asked.

"I dunno, darlin'. Prob'ly someone had too much t'drink an' don' wanna leave."

"Speakin' a leavin', maybe we ought t'be gettin' home," Jack said. "Franny, you wanna go in the kitchen an' retrieve Bobby. Thanks, sweetheart," he said, as she nodded and headed to the kitchen.

While they were waiting, the outside door opened and someone came in. He was tall, dark, and had long hair that hung loose and flowed down his shoulders. Ennis squinted his eyes in the faint light. He seemed familiar. He disappeared into the bar.

"Hey, Ennis, wasn't that Tyler?" Jack asked, echoing his thought.

"Yeah, I think it was."

"Wonder what he's doin' here?" A few moments, and a little more commotion later, they knew. He came out of the bar, holding up an older man, who was almost falling-down drunk.

"Pu' me dow', boy. I c'n walk b'myshelf," he slurred, dragging his feet. "Jusss wan' one more."

"No, dad, I think you've had enough," Tyler said, practically dragging him to the door. He didn't look up until he got there, where he scanned the room before he ducked out. Just as he was about to leave, he met Ennis's eyes. Ennis couldn't see him clearly, but he knew, somehow, that Tyler was burning up, ashamed of being seen like this. Ennis felt like he should do or say something, but didn't, and then Tyler was gone.

"Shit," Jack said slowly, shaking his head.

Ennis didn't say anything.

* * *

Ennis curled around Jack. They'd been in bed for a while, but neither was sleeping. Jack was worried about tomorrow and what it would bring. Ennis was thinking of Tyler and his dad; how little they knew of him and what his life was really like.

"Ya know, Jack," Ennis started, knowing Jack wasn't sleeping yet, "I don' think I realized that things are tough all over. I mean, things was hard in Wyoming, and this farm still seems like a dream t'me, but there's people here, have it hard like I did back there." They'd learned that Tyler and his dad lived in the poor, sad town they'd passed on their way to Goosedown. They'd also gotten the distinct feeling that there was serious discrimination against American Indians in the area, some of it under the surface and some quite overt.

"Thinkin' a Tyler?"

"Yeah."

"He's a nice guy. I like 'im."

"Me too."

They were quiet again. This time Jack started, "Ennis, I gotta be honest. I'm worried. L.D. threatened me with gettin' Bobby afore I left Texas. I thought he'd let it go, but now I ain't so sure. What . . . what if he takes him away from me?"

Ennis heard the fear and hurt in Jack's voice. He pulled him tighter, wishing he could take that feeling away, but knowing that he couldn't. He was fairly well acquainted with that feeling himself. "Try not t' worry about it, darlin'. You're a great daddy and Bobby adores ya; anyone c'n see that."

"I'm tryin', but it's hard." He turned to face Ennis, their arms and legs wrapped around each other. Ennis leaned forward and met Jack's lips, kissed him long and deeply.

"Maybe I c'n take yer mind off it fer a little while," he whispered.

Jack kissed him back, then said against his lips, "What'd ya have in mind, cowboy?"

Ennis put his hands under Jack's t-shirt and began working it up, his hands on Jack's stomach, then his chest. He felt Jack's indrawn breath when he touched a nipple with his fingers. Ennis broke the kiss to pull the t-shirt over his head, then went back to worshiping Jack's lips with his own, before whispering, "Just a little sweetness."

Jack put his hands under Ennis's t-shirt and repeated the process of pushing it up. He was rewarded with a low moan, almost a purr, from Ennis when their skin came together with nothing between them. Ennis rolled Jack onto his back and leaned over, holding himself up on one arm. They had only _slept_ in this bed, with just some kissing, since the girls had arrived. Ennis realized that he'd been holding back and Jack had honored that. Somehow, tonight, this fact only increased his ardor and he met Jack's lips with more fervor, exploring Jack's mouth with his tongue while caressing his chest and stomach with his free hand.

Jack's hands were occupied with the smooth skin under Ennis's pajama bottoms, caressing and massaging. He arched up to meet him, grinding their hips together, then wrapped one leg around behind Ennis, bringing them closer for a moment.

Ennis moved his hand down between them, underneath Jack's pajama bottoms, down his thigh, feeling the soft, sensitive skin on the inside, and moving up between his legs, to caress the soft heaviness first and then the hard shaft. Jack moaned and whispered Ennis's name in his mouth.

Ennis brought his hand to Jack's face, caressed his cheek, then drew back to devour him with his eyes. He met his lips again and whispered Jack's name back into his own mouth, then moved down to kiss his neck and that sweet spot beneath his jawline that he loved to taste.

Jack was drowning in his desire. He moved his hands down to push Ennis's pajama bottoms off and then helped Ennis get his own off. Ennis settled between his legs, which Jack wrapped around him, then arched up as Ennis entered him. They surged together for a few moments, before Ennis lifted Jack's legs to rest on his shoulders allowing him to thrust deeper and harder. "God, Ennis . . ." Jack reached for Ennis's thighs and hung on.

A few more thrusts and Ennis slowed down, kissed each of Jack's ankles before moving them off his shoulders, moved down to feel Jack's chest against his again, met his mouth, tasted the sweetness of Jack's breath as they breathed into one another, felt Jack's hands digging into his back, trying to hang on tighter, trying to get closer, until he couldn't tell where he ended and Jack began.

Ennis felt lightheaded as he reached the peak, but held back, waiting for Jack. He could feel Jack's erection, hard between their bodies, felt Jack's urgent thrusting. He met Jack's eyes in the moonlight, felt himself swimming in them, losing himself in those deep blue pools, darkened with desire, and then he knew Jack was ready. They came together, urgent and sweet, eyes locked and filled with love. Ennis collapsed on Jack, breathing heavy, too sated to move. When Ennis finally rolled off him, Jack turned with him, arms and legs still wrapped around each other.

"Think ya c'n sleep now, darlin'?" Ennis asked.

"Mmm . . ." Jack sighed, a contented smile on his lips. "Think so," he said softly.

* * *

The next morning Tyler showed up for work, same as usual. He didn't say anything about the night before and neither did Ennis. Once Ennis told Tyler and the other two farmhands what needed to get done that day, he took the girls and Bobby into town for brunch and a stop at the feed store and hardware store for supplies. When they got back to the farm, he took them swimming in their lake. Junior had gone back to being herself with her dad, for the most part. He suspected that it had a lot to do with the fact that Jack was gone all morning and early afternoon. When Jack was home, Junior was quiet again.

Right now, Junior was sitting next to him on a towel, while Franny and Bobby tried to catch minnows with the little nets he'd bought them at the hardware store. Every once in a while one or the other would squeal, show the net with the something silvery wiggling in it, and then let it go.

"You don' wanna go help catch minnows, Junior?" Ennis smiled at her.

"Well, Daddy, seems they're havin' a great time, but no, I don't," she said dryly, then smiled up at him.

"You ready fer school next year? What grade are ya gonna be in?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "I ain't ready fer school, Daddy. Geez, it's the beginning o'summer. And I'm gonna be in the seventh grade."

"Oh, yeah, sorry sweetheart, I fergot."

"It's okay."

He was looking right at her face when the stony look came over it, hearing Jack's voice coming down the trail. "Ennis? Ennis!" He appeared through the trees. "Hey, what're you guys doin'? Ms. Peterson's gonna be here any minute." He looked flustered and a little wild in his eyes.

"Sorry, Jack. I guess we lost track 'o time."

Jack didn't respond to him, just called out, "Bobby, come on. We gotta get back t'the house."

"Ah, Daddy, me 'n Franny are catchin' minnows. I wanna catch one an' show ya."

"Maybe later, Bobby. Come on."

Bobby's shoulder's slumped, but he obeyed, followed by Franny. Jack wrapped Bobby in a towel and started back towards the house.

Franny wrapped herself in a towel and slipped her sandals on. "Daddy, how come Jack's so cranky?"

Ennis thought about reminding her to be respectful, but realized she was right. "He's just a little worried, honey, and sometimes when we're worried we sound cranky."

She thought about it for a minute, then said, "Junior must be worried all the time lately."

"Hey! That ain't true!" Junior exclaimed.

"All right, girls, behave now."

They followed Jack and Bobby to the house. Junior went right in to her room, without a word to anyone. Franny asked for a snack, but Ennis told her she had to get dressed first.

Jack stood in the living room, looking out the window that faced the driveway. Ennis could feel the anxiety pouring off him. Kelly was out in the garden and the kids were all in their rooms changing, so Ennis approached Jack and put his arm around his back, ran his hand up and down it, trying to soothe him. Jack turned his eyes to Ennis, the blue softened now to the color of the sky. "Sorry fer being such an ass back there," he said softly.

Ennis smiled at him, "You're fergiven. I guess you get ta take a turn bein' the ass once in a while. I certainly take my turn often enough." Jack smiled at that, relaxed for a moment, then tensed again as he saw the car in the driveway.

Jack yelled for Bobby and went to the door. Ennis recognized the young, blond woman as the social worker who'd stopped in two days before. The three children appeared and Jack introduced them to Janie. She looked surprised to see the girls and looked at Ennis. "These are your daughters? Do they live here with you?"

"No, they live with their momma in Wyoming, but they're here visiting this week."

They gave her a tour of the house and the farm. Janie laughed and joked with all of them and didn't show any disgust or contempt, which Jack was truly afraid would happen. He relaxed and became his charming self in short order. Ennis was still tense, but tried to hide it. After she talked with all of them for a while, she asked to talk to Jack alone. Jack sent the kids out to the garden with Kelly, but told Ennis with his eyes that _he_ was staying.

"Jack, Ennis," she looked at each of them in turn, "I haven't seen anything that gives me any concerns. You have a nice house, it's clean and well-taken care of; the children look fine and healthy; they're obviously comfortable here with you. I don't have any concerns," she said.

"I hear a 'but' coming," Jack said.

She looked down, almost as if she didn't want to say more. "You're right, Jack. I have to be honest with you. My supervisor is more old-fashioned than I am and has expressed concerns. Now, I'm going to put in a good word for you, but I may need to visit a few more times."

Jack and Ennis looked at each other, exchanged barely perceptible shrugs. This had gone better than they'd hoped. If she wanted to visit them, that was fine, so Jack told her so. "You come out any time ya want. Maybe next time we c'n get ya up on a horse."

Janie laughed, "Oh, I don't know about that! I've never ridden a horse before."

Ennis looked shocked and shook his head, a small smile playing at the edge of his mouth. "That's just sad, little lady. Anytime you wanna try, you just come on back."

"Maybe," she said, smiling at him. "Now, I better get going. I hear you're going to some big barbeque tonight." Bobby and Franny had filled her ear for quite a while about it. Jack and Ennis walked her to the door and watched her drive away. Before her car even disappeared around the corner, Ennis felt Jack's hand take his. He squeezed it gently, running his thumb over Jack's knuckles, before raising it to his mouth and kissing where his thumb had been.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Ennis stopped the truck in front of the McIntyres house just as Danny came running out of the house shouting, "They're here! They're here!"

The house was a sprawling rambler, the white paint was peeling a little, but not too bad. There was a second huge garage next to the car garage, with a sign that read "McIntyre Auto". Ennis remembered that Colin McIntyre had his own auto mechanic business. The front yard was sparse and tidy and had a flower garden running in front of the house. They got out of the truck and followed Danny to the back yard. Ennis was surprised to see the change from the front yard. Two large dogs, golden retrievers, by the looks of them, ran up and pranced around them, barking excitedly. There was large, basically round area, made up of sand hills and dunes and filled with large toy trucks, which Ennis assumed must be the famous sandbox Bobby loved to play in.

Further on was a very large garden, already looking green and succulent, and next to it, a small shed, in which Ennis could see pots, hoes, rakes, and spades. A small, makeshift greenhouse was next to the shed. It was made of a wooden frame covered with heavy plastic instead of glass. Ennis could smell the charcoal briquets of the grill next to the large picnic table. A small building was beyond the sandbox and Ennis realized it must be a playhouse for the girls, because he could see miniature furniture through the open door.

Colin McIntyre, a thickset man with auburn hair, came out the back door, holding a tray of hot dogs and hamburgers. He put it on the picnic table and went to shake Ennis and Jack's hands. "Hi guys, ladies," he said, nodding at the girls, "glad you could make it. You want a beer?" He smiled pleasantly, already heading back towards the house before they answered.

They both said yes and he came out moments later carrying three bottles. Ellen followed him, carrying a tray of plates, silverware, napkins, and condiments. Two girls followed behind her, carrying a bowl of potato salad and potato chips. "Hello. How are you all? Jack, Ennis, these are our daughters." She pointed to the older one, who was thin, like her mom, but had red, curly hair, "This is Emma–she's twelve." She indicated the other girl, who was a bit more stocky, like her dad, and had straight, blonde hair like Danny's. "This is Hannah and she's eleven." The door opened again and an older, teen-age boy came out, carrying a big bowl of cut up fruit. "Oh, and this is our oldest, Ian. He's sixteen."

"Nice t'meet you all. This is Franny and Junior. It's Alma Jr., but we just call her Junior," Ennis replied. The girls smiled shyly at each other and, of course, it was Franny who broke the ice.

"Can we look in your playhouse? We don't have one."

"Sure, come on," Emma replied, leading the way. Danny and Bobby were already absorbed in building new roads in the sandbox.

Ennis and Jack each shook Ian's hand and said hello. Ellen took them to show them the garden while Colin grilled. "We grow most of it for ourselves, but whatever we have left we either sell or give away." Ellen stooped to pick a weed and toss it into the grass. "The kids are pretty helpful, so as they've gotten older we've added on to it."

"It's real nice," Ennis said.

Later, Jack sat back and patted his stomach. "You sure you got enough to eat?" Ellen asked.

"Yes, ma'am. I couldn't eat another bite," he grinned at her.

"What about you, Ennis?"

"No, I'm full too. It tasted great."

"Well, it wasn't anything special."

"Food always tastes better when someone else cooks," Jack winked at her.

"How do you guys like Minnesota so far?" Colin asked, handing them each another beer.

"I like it jus' fine. Most people seem real nice. Seems t'get a bit humid, though, when it gets hot," Jack replied. "How long have ya'll lived here?"

"We were both born and raised in this area. We bought this house when we got married eighteen years ago," Ellen said. "I like living in a small town. I went to college down in the cities and knew then that wasn't the life for me–too much noise and everyone in such a hurry all the time."

"So, ya know everyone around here?" Ennis asked.

"Pretty much." Ellen raised her eyebrow at him, "Why? Are you wondering about someone in particular?"

His face colored, "No, it's jus' that, we don' know anyone . . ." he trailed off uncertainly.

"Who you got working for you?" Colin asked. "Tyler Cloud?" Jack nodded, "He's a good guy. He tell you he wants to go to college? He should've gone right after he graduated, but he felt like he had to look after his dad. His brother and sister aren't good for much, but he's really smart. I went to school with his older brother. He had another brother, younger, but he was killed in a car accident about a year ago. He'd been drinking and was walking home, got hit by a car. I heard his sister moved up to Red Lake a few years ago, has a couple of kids. Tyler used to play football, too. Probably could've gotten a scholarship, heck, maybe he did, but didn't take it."

Jack and Ennis looked at each other. They'd learned more about Tyler in less than minute than they knew about him from working with him for three months.

"Who else is working for you?" Ellen asked.

"Dwayne and Dayle Nelson. They just started a couple of weeks ago. They've worked out good so far." Jack said. "I just worry 'bout somethin' happenin' like what happened with Jim Jackson."

Ellen gave him a knowing smile, "Oh, Jack, I don't think you have to worry about that."

"What'd'ya mean?"

"Dwayne and Dayle grew up with their momma, who's one of the doctors at the clinic, by the way, and her girlfriend."

Jack and Ennis exchanged another surprised look and Jack spoke, "Wow, how'd they do it? Folks accept them all right?"

"Well, they don't go 'round flaunting it, of course, but yeah, they were okay. Nancy, Dwayne and Dayle's mom, grew up here, went to college, got pregnant with the boys, and moved back when she got her medical degree. She came back with Anna Grant. Anna's an attorney. We're friends with them. We'll have to invite you all to our next barbeque and you can meet them."

"The other kids at school, they left the boys alone? Did they get teased?"

"I think they had their share of scrapes, they are boys, after all!" Ellen laughed and went on, "but they survived. Are you worried about Bobby?"

"Yeah, I am."

"I'm sure he'll be just fine, Jack."

Jack looked over at his son, who was back to making roads and hauling dirt in the sandbox._ I hope so_, he thought.

Ennis didn't like gossiping, but his curiosity got the better of him. "What about Kelly? Did she grow up around here?" Kelly had been both open and closed, at the same time. She was cheery and talkative most of the time, but Ennis had always sensed some deeper sadness lurking below the surface.

"Tyler's brother, Dean, the one that got killed, was Kelly's boyfriend."

Jack shook his head, while Ennis looked down, thinking of his conversation with Jack the night before, about things being hard all over. He was more right than he'd realized.

It was dark by the time they left. The girls had become thick as thieves and gotten permission for Emma and Hannah to come to the farm the next day. The McIntyres promised to come for a barbeque on Saturday, the night before the girls had to leave.

* * *

The next morning, Tyler got to the farm and went straight to the stable, without stopping for coffee, like he usually did. Ennis watched him out the window. He noticed Tyler had his hair loose, too, like the night in the bar. He usually wore it in a neat braid or in a long tail held by several rubber bands going down its length. Ennis poured a fresh cup of coffee for himself and one for Tyler and went out the door. He found Tyler in the stable, cleaning out one of the stalls, his head down.

"Hey, Tyler. I brought ya some coffee." Ennis held out the cup. Tyler stopped and turned to face him, but didn't look up right away. When he finally looked up and reached for the cup, Ennis blinked. Tyler's eye was red and swollen and even with his dark skin, Ennis could see a dark purple bruise forming around it. Ennis didn't say anything, just handed him the cup. Tyler took it and half-turned away. After a minute or two, Ennis asked hesitantly, "Ya wanna talk about it?"

Tyler took a sip of coffee, sighed, and shrugged. "Not much t'say."

"Come on. Let's sit fer a minute. There were benches down the center aisle of the stable. Ennis thought maybe he'd just go back to working, but Tyler surprised him by coming out of the stall and sitting next to him on a bench. They were silent for a while, drinking their coffee.

"My brother came home last night. He and . . . he and my dad got to drinking . . ." Tyler put his head down. "I guess you probably figured out my dad's an alcoholic. It's a pretty common thing on the reservation. People got no hope and they try to drown that feeling. It's hard, having no hope, no dreams . . ."

"I know," Ennis agreed, barely audible.

"Anyway, Steve and I had an argument and he punched me. Kicked me out, too," he added softly.

Ennis looked at him sharply. "What'd'ya mean, kicked ya out? Of yer own house?"

"Ain't my house, it's my dad's and he agreed with Steve, so that's that." Tyler looked down at his hands that held the coffee cup. His hair fell forward to cover his face. Ennis was watching Tyler's hands on the cup and saw the clear drop hit the copper skin and roll down, leaving a darker mark in its path.

Ennis acted before he thought about it. He put his own cup down, turned, and put his arms around Tyler, making those soothing noises that Jack was so good at. Tyler cried silently for a few moments, his shoulders shaking. Ennis held him and smoothed his hair, just like he was one of his girls. He knew that there was more grief behind those silent sobs than just last nights fight.

Tyler drew a shuddering breath and broke away from Ennis slowly, then wiped his hands down his face.

"Did he really mean it? That ya can't go back?"

"Yeah."

"Got someplace else ya c'n stay?"

"Nowhere good."

Ennis looked at him again, considering. "Well," he finally said, "you c'n stay with us. You're already here most o' the time anyway an' we got a spare room, even with all the kids havin' their own."

"No, Ennis, I couldn't."

"Don't be silly, o'course ya can. 'Sides, where else ya gonna go?"

Tyler sighed. "No where, I guess." Pause. "I'll take ya up on it, if it's okay with Jack, too."

"Of course I gotta ask Jack, but I know he woulda suggested it himself if he'd been here. Come on, let's to t'the house and get some more coffee an' I'll talk t'Jack."

As it turned out, he didn't even have to ask. As soon as Ennis told him Tyler's brother had kicked him out, he insisted Tyler stay with them.

Ennis took a hard look inside himself, wondering if he was playing with fire. He came to the conclusion that he wasn't. Whatever little spark he'd felt regarding Tyler seemed to have fizzled, but he did genuinely like him and so did Jack. He was a friend and friends helped each other.

* * *

"We should clear out some o' this brush, put in a real nice beach, maybe a little shack fer changin' in." Jack was standing behind Ennis, who sat with his lawn chair next to the water, soaking his feet. Tyler was in the water with Franny and Bobby, helping them perfect their minnow catching. Junior was stretched out on a towel, reading. Jack had convinced Tyler to take the rest of the day off and spend it down by the water with them.

Ennis swivelled his head around and looked at the shoreline. There was a dock in the water, but not much of a beach before the trees and brush began. "I don' think uncle James spent a lotta time down here swimmin'."

"He didn't have kids," Jack said, brushing his hand gently along Ennis's back before sitting down in the chair next to him. "I have a feeling this is gonna be a popular place in the summer." As if to prove his point, Danny, Emma, and Hannah emerged from the trees at a trot, shouting to Bobby and the girls. Emma sat next to Junior, while Danny took his t-shirt off and ran into the water, splashing Jack and Ennis while he was at it. Hannah took her sundress off a little slower, revealing her swimsuit underneath. She waded into the water slowly, trying to get used to the water gradually. In the end, it didn't matter, because the boys started splashing her as fast as they could and she was soaked in seconds. They even got the older girls, who squealed and held their hands up, as if to stop the water. Jack yelled at the boys to knock it off, so they did.

Ennis felt contentment seep into him. It was a beautiful day, he was here with his girls, and Jack, and he was completely relaxed. He glanced at Jack out of the corner of his eye. Jack had his head back, his eyes closed, as if he were sleeping. Ennis's eyes were drawn to the long lines of Jack's neck and had the sudden urge to kiss him there. Jack seemed to feel his eyes on him; he cracked one of his own open, peered over at Ennis, and grinned a slow, lazy grin. Ennis smiled back, a secret, sexy smile, meant only for Jack.

Jack sat up. "Hey, cowboy. We oughta go see if Kelly needs help bringin' that lunch out here."

"Sure 'nough," Ennis replied, standing up.

"Hey, Tyler, c'n ya keep an eye on ever'one till we come back with lunch?" Jack asked.

He turned and started up the trail after Tyler nodded in agreement. Ennis followed. As soon as they were out of sight of the others, Jack turned around, grabbed Ennis's hand, pulled him off the trail, and pushed him up against the white bark of a paper birch tree. His lips met Ennis's in a fierce, bruising kiss.

"I've been wantin' t'do that all mornin'," he said, pulling away.

Ennis hooked his fingers in Jack's belt loops and pulled him back, met his lips again, tasted the salty-sweet sweat around Jack's mouth, and pulled him closer. Jack braced one hand against the tree behind Ennis, put the other on Ennis's waist, just under his t-shirt, and ran his thumb up and down. Ennis bucked against him, "Shit, Jack, stop it," he said, smiling into Jack's mouth.

"Why, you ticklish?" He moved his thumb against that sensitive spot again and Ennis bucked again.

"Jack, I'm warnin' ya," he pulled Jack tight against him, trapping Jack's hand.

"Hmm . . . I've learned somethin' new an' exciting about the mysterious Ennis Del Mar."

"Jack . . ."

"What? What're ya gonna do t'me?" Jack asked, his voice low and deep.

"You'll see, ya little devil," Ennis replied. He pushed Jack away. "Later," he promised. "Stop it now," he said, through a smile that took the sting away. "How're we supposed to go in the house lookin' like this?" He made a sweeping gesture that included both of their jeans, straining tight at the crotch. "Not t'mention it's damn uncomfortable."

"Sorry, darlin'," Jack said, in a sing-song voice that didn't sound sorry at all.

Hearing that endearment, usually his for the saying, come from those lips, disconnected something in Ennis's brain. He grabbed Jack and turned around so Jack was held against the tree and kissed him long and hard before he finally broke away.

"Wow," Jack said, breathing hard, his eyes heavy-lidded, his body sagging against the tree.

"I don' know what it is ya do t'me, Jack," Ennis said, his face still close to Jack's, eyes on those sweet, red lips. He looked up, met those summer blue eyes, said the words he'd never said face to face to anyone before. "I love you."

Jack was stunned, felt tears prick at his eyes. Felt his heart fill so full it might burst, swallowed, and replied hoarsely, "I love you, too."

Ennis kissed him one last time, there in the birch trees, a soft, gentle kiss, then turned and went back to the path to the house.

* * *

The light on the horizon illuminated the sky and reflected off the grass, trees, and the polished wood of the deck, giving everything a soft, golden glow. The barbeque at their house with the McIntyres had been a success. Jack had insisted that Tyler join them, and then extended the invitation to Kelly and Alice. Jack was happy to see Kelly have a good time. He was so grateful that she was working for them. Bobby had begun to adore her and she seemed to return the feeling. She was wonderful with the girls, too.

Everyone had gone home, though, and it was just him and Ennis and their children on the deck, enjoying the sunset. Junior curled up in a chair next to her dad, her head on his arm, while Ennis held Franny in his lap. Her eyes were almost closed and he knew it wouldn't be long before she was sleeping. Ennis knew that next time she came, she'd probably be too big to curl up in his lap like this, so he indulged her. Bobby was sleeping on Jack's lap and Jack had the same feeling as Ennis–that this was a fleeting pleasure and all too soon, Bobby would be too big and grown up to sit in his daddy's lap.

Jack watched the sun disappear, then turned to Ennis, "Red sky at night, sailors delight . . ."

Ennis smiled, "What're you talking about?"

"It's an old saying my momma use'ta say. 'Red sky at night, sailors delight. Red sky in morning, sailors take warning'."

"You're crazy, Jack."

"Crazy fer you, maybe," he said softly and took Ennis's hand in his.

It sounded so corny, Ennis almost said so, but just smiled instead and squeezed his hand.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

July 15, 1976, was a day Ennis would remember. It started like an ordinary day. An ordinary day in his new life, that is. He woke in the early morning hours with Jack's arm and leg draped over him. He slipped out of bed, dressed, and met Tyler downstairs for a quick cup of coffee before they went out to feed the horses. Later, he met Jack in the garage for a good-bye kiss just before Jack left for his last day of the accounting class.

After lunch, he was standing next to the paddock watching Dwayne and Dayle exercise a couple of the horses that they were going to be showing to a buyer the next day when Gordon pulled up in the driveway. He met him at the house.

"Hey, Gordon, what brings you out here today?" Gordon stopped by periodically to check in with them, but it was usually after work. A weekday visit in the middle of the day was unusual. He was carrying a folder, which was also unusual for a visit.

"Hi, Ennis. How are you?"

"Doin' good."

"Girls gone back to their momma's?"

"Yep, a coupla weeks ago. You want somethin' t'drink? A beer, coffee, lemonade?"

"I'll take a cup of coffee, if it's not any trouble."

"Nope, come on."

Gordon followed him into the house and asked, "Is Kelly around?"

"No, she's runnin' errands."

"Good, good."

Ennis turned to look at him sharply, but Gordon didn't say anything more. Ennis poured them each a cup of coffee.

"Would you mind if we talked in the office? I have something important to talk to you about and I don't want to be interrupted."

Ennis felt his chest tighten. _This is where it all ends. He's gonna tell me he made a mistake an' I'm gonna halfta give it all up_, he thought, fear gripping his heart and squeezing. "Oh, okay, Gordon," Ennis said and led him up the stairs. Once inside, Ennis sat behind the desk, but felt a little out of place. This was Jack's territory and he felt a little like an intruder. Gordon sat across from him, his folder on his lap.

"Ennis, I didn't share this with you when you first moved here because I felt you might need some time to get settled and find your place here."

"I am settling in, Gordon. This is a good life. Never dreamed I'd ever be able t'live this life an' here I am." The hand on his heart clenched again.

"What was your family like? Your mom and dad, I mean?"

Ennis didn't answer right away, surprised by Gordon's question. "Umm, well, my mom was, you know, a mom. She was nice. Kinda quiet. Sweet. Good t'me. My dad was strict. Kept us in line, but good." Ennis's jaw clenched, "Him an' me, we didn't always get along so good." He stopped and looked at Gordon, his eyes narrowed, "Why're you askin'?"

"Have you ever seen your birth certificate?"

"No, I guess not."

"Did your parents ever talk about your birth?"

"Not that I c'n remember."

Gordon opened the folder and handed Ennis the top sheet. Ennis picked it up and saw at the top 'Certificate of Birth'. Further down he saw his mom's name, but next to the line that said 'Father', instead of his dad's name, it said 'James Del Mar'. "What the hell is this, Gordon?"

"James wasn't your uncle, Ennis. He was your father."

"What? No." There was a dull roar in his ears and he was having trouble breathing.

"You had no idea?"

"Do I look like I had a fuckin' idea?" he ground out between clenched teeth.

"No," Gordon shook his head, then continued, "According to James, your parents separated for a short period and during that time, she and James had, well, relations. It didn't last long. He said your mom felt guilty, broke it off, and soon afterward, she reunited with your father. Or the man you thought of as your father. There was no doubt that James was your real father."

Ennis leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he replied dully.

"James told me he moved here 'cause he couldn't take the pain anymore. He still loved your mom and he wanted to be a dad to you, but your parents wouldn't let him."

Ennis was silent, breathing shallowly, finally asked, "So, why didn't he find me after my parents died?"

"He didn't know it when it happened. I'm not sure why he didn't get in touch with you when he did find out–he didn't share that with me. I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, Ennis. I can see it's hard on you."

"Is there anything else, Gordon? Any other secrets I should know about?" he growled.

"No, that's it."

"Well, if that's it, I hope you'll excuse me, then. I don' feel much like talkin' no more."

"Of course, Ennis, I understand."

Ennis felt like he couldn't breathe, like the walls were closing in around him. He needed to be outside, in the fresh air, by himself.

Downstairs, Ennis opened the door to go outside and came face to face with a deputy sheriff. _What the fuck? What now? _he thought, scowling deeply.

The deputy smiled at him, "Are you Mr. Jack Twist?"

"No. He ain't here right now. Can I help ya?"

"I have some papers to serve him, can you sign for him?"

"Yeah."

The deputy handed him a thick manilla envelope, then held out a clipboard and pointed to a line for him to sign on. "Thanks, sir. You have a nice day."

Ennis smiled tightly and restrained himself by sheer force of will. Gordon patted him on the shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look. "You call me when you want to talk, Ennis," he said as he and the deputy left. Ennis put the envelope on the table, then stalked out to the stable and saddled Jojo, mounted him, and rode out.

* * *

Ennis was gone for hours and when he finally returned to the house, he was surprised to see Jack sitting on the deck, a beer in his hand. It didn't look like it was his first. His eyes were dark, which matched the look on his face.

"Where ya been?"

"Needed t'get away fer a awhile," he replied, hands on hips, looking down at his feet.

"Ya needed t'get away fer awhile?" Ennis heard it finally, the anger in Jack's voice, and looked up sharply. It wasn't like him to get so riled up about him being gone for a while.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, taking another long pull on the beer and looking away.

"Jack . . ."

"What, Ennis? Where the fuck have you been?"

"I was ridin'. Needed t'think," he looked down again, feeling the wave of hurt wash over him again. The sound of the bottle hitting the deck brought his head up sharply and the sound of a sob escaping Jack brought him onto the deck. He knelt in front of Jack and took him in his arms as Jack cried. "Jack, come on, tell me what happened." Something finally clicked in his mind. "Does this have anythin' t'do with that envelope that was delivered today?"

Jack's sobs stopped as quickly as they started, but he kept his face buried in Ennis's neck. "Fuckin' L.D.," he ground out harshly, "He filed papers t'get custody of Bobby. Hired a big shot lawyer. I gotta go t'court next week t'prove I c'n take care of 'im. He's my son, goddammit!"

"Oh, Jack, I'm sorry."

"I think I better talk to a lawyer."

Ennis drew him close again and felt Jack's breath on his neck. He held him for a few minutes, neither speaking, until Kelly opened the door to the deck and put her head out. Ennis pulled back from Jack.

"I'm sorry," Kelly put her head down, then looked up again. "I just wanted to tell you that supper is ready and Bobby's at the table waiting for you."

"Okay, thanks."

She disappeared back inside and they followed her after Jack wiped his face and took some deep breaths.

* * *

The room lit up eerily, as bright as day, for a second, and was quickly followed by a deafening crack of thunder. It wasn't raining yet, but the wind was wild. It lifted the curtains into twirling ghosts. Ennis couldn't believe Jack was sleeping through it, but after their fierce, energetic coupling that left them both slick with sweat, he wasn't completely surprised. Jack had worn himself out. Ennis was awake only because his mind wouldn't let him sleep. He hadn't yet told Jack of _his_ news. He could barely comprehend it himself and hadn't found the words to share it. Eventually, he gave up trying to sleep and decided to go down and get something cold to drink. He pulled on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, slipped out of bed, and padded silently down the stairs. He went to the refrigerator without turning on any lights, took out a beer and carried it to the couch, grabbing a pack of cigarettes on the way.

He was halfway through his first cigarette when he heard the front door open. He was so lost in his reverie that, at first, the noise didn't register, so he was still sitting on the couch when a dark figure came through the door from the entryway. He looked up just as another flash of lightning lit up the room to illuminate Tyler, wearing just a pair of white pajama bottoms slung low on his narrow hips, his chest bare, his hair loose and tangled. In that instant, those feelings Ennis had thought safely locked away and forgotten surged out with a vengeance. _He's beautiful_, wormed its way into the forefront of his mind before he could stop it. Tyler stopped at the counter that separated the living room from the kitchen.

"Hey," he said softly, nodding at Ennis. "I didn't know anyone else was awake."

"Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither."

Ennis took a deep drag on his cigarette, felt his hand shaking as he tried to control his emotions, which were a match for the storm brewing outside. "What were ya doin' out there?" he finally asked.

"I couldn't sleep–it was too hot. I thought I'd go out and cool off." He looked out the window, where the rain had finally started to fall, in big, heavy, angry drops. "I love nights like this. Makes me feel free . . .when the wind is wild . . ." he trailed off softly.

Silence stretched between them like another presence in the room. Ennis finally broke it, the question escaping his lips before he thought about it, "Did you know?"

Tyler didn't answer right away. He walked forward and sat on the other end of the couch, not facing Ennis. "Gordon told you?"

"Shit. Does ever'one but me know?" he stared straight ahead, took another drag on his cigarette.

Tyler turned his head towards him, "I don't think so, Ennis. Maybe Etta, his housekeeper before Kelly, but she doesn't live around here anymore."

A sound escaped Ennis, which sounded like a laugh, but wasn't. "I don' know why it matters so much. It was a long time ago an' they're all gone. Nothin' t'be done about it. Cain't do nothin' about it." He was silent for a long time before adding, "Wish I coulda known 'im, though. Feels like I lost somethin' I never had."

Tyler moved closer, drawn to the hurt in that gravelly voice, wanting to do something, anything, to make things better. He put his hand up to Ennis's cheek and drew it down gently. "I'm sorry, Ennis."

Ennis didn't move. He couldn't even breathe. His cheek felt like it was on fire where Tyler touched it. He was repelled and enthralled by the feeling. Except for Jack, no other man had ever touched him like this. Tyler drew his hand back, leaving his cheek cold. Ennis turned his head to look at Tyler, taking in the disheveled hair, the sharply carved cheekbones, the dark, mysteriously sad eyes, the thin, delicately carved lips. He wondered briefly, irrationally, what those lips would taste like. He blinked slowly, swallowed hard, and stood up abruptly, stubbing out his cigarette at the same time.

"I'm goin' t'bed," he said sharply and went up the stairs quickly. He went straight to the bathroom, turned on the light, splashed some water on his face, and looked up at himself in the mirror, his hands on the edge of the sink holding him up. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes dilated. _What in the holy hell is wrong with you? Goddammit, Ennis, get yerself under control! Ya got everything ya ever wanted. And more. More'n ya ever coulda dreamed of. Now ya wanna fuck it all up? _A harsh breath escaped between his clenched lips. He splashed more cold water on his face before slipping back into the bedroom and in bed with Jack, who was sleeping on his stomach. His face was turned towards Ennis, peaceful in sleep, the eye of the storm that was raging outside and in Ennis's heart. Ennis touched his head, felt the silky dark hair beneath his fingers. He leaned down gently and kissed Jack's head, breathed in the familiar scent that he loved. Jack stirred, turned on his back, put out his arms, and pulled Ennis into them.

Ennis put his head on Jack's chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. It took a long time for his trembling to subside and for him to fall into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Ennis opened his eyes slowly. It was light out and he was alone in bed, both of which were unusual. He was always up before the sun and always before Jack got out of bed. The storm had passed in the night and the sun shone brightly in the room. He became aware of Jack's voice, muffled, probably in the office. He sat up and pulled on a pair of jeans, used the bathroom, and brushed his teeth. He still heard Jack's voice, so he went down the hall to the office. Jack was just hanging up the phone when he looked in the doorway.

"That was Gordon. I asked him if he could help me, but he said he doesn't do family court. He recommended Anna Grant, Dwayne and Dayle's . . . well . . . step-mom? Whatever she is, Gordon said she does some family court. Usually for women. I'm gonna call her."

"Okay."

"Hey, are you all right? It ain't like ya t'sleep so late."

Ennis grunted. "Jus' couldn't sleep las' night. I need some coffee, you want some?"

"I got some, bud, but thanks."

Ennis turned to go, but turned back and went around the desk, leaned down and kissed Jack gently. "Good mornin', darlin'."

Jack touched his cheek and smiled. "Mornin'."

Ennis was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him, when Jack came down the stairs. He refilled his cup and joined Ennis.

"Where's Bobby?"

"Outside with Kelly. They're weeding the garden. I asked Janie t' stop by t'day. I thought it couldn't hurt t'talk t'her. She's seen us with Bobby and so far hasn't had anything bad t'say."

"That's a good idea, Jack," Ennis replied absently.

"Ennis? What's goin' on? Why'd ya disappear yesterday?"

Ennis didn't answer right away. He still didn't have the words for this, but knew it'd hurt Jack's feelings if he didn't find the words and tell him. He cleared his throat and took a gulp of coffee. "Gordon stopped by yesterday."

"What for? Did he know about the custody papers?" Jack looked confused.

"No, that ain't why he stopped." He didn't go on.

Jack waited, sensing Ennis was looking for the words, or maybe the courage, to go on.

Ennis finally spoke again, "He came t'tell me that James wasn't my uncle." He looked over to meet Jack's eyes. "He was my dad. Didn't want t'tell me when I first got here." He looked away again, out the window.

It took moment for Jack to comprehend this before replying. "What? Why didn't James tell you himself, while he was alive?"

"I dunno, Jack." He sighed and added softly, "I don't know anything anymore."

Jack's mind flashed back to his reaction when Ennis found him on the porch last night and felt a pang of shame. "Ennis, I'm sorry fer the way I behaved yesterday. I didn't know ya had yer own shock t'deal with."

Ennis turned his head quickly and reached for his hand, "Don't you apologize fer that, Jack. Ya had ever' right t'be upset. My stuff, it's all old stuff. I c'n deal with it later. But this stuff with L.D. and Bobby, that's gotta be dealt with right now. I'll do whatever ya need me to, darlin', you just let me know what ya need."

Jack felt his eyes welling and thought, _I'm turnin' inta the world's biggest damn baby_, but he couldn't stop the tears. He leaned forward and met Ennis's lips softly. "Thank you. I love you, Ennis."

Ennis kissed him back, silently.

* * *

Anna Grant tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, only to have it immediately fall forward again. She looked up at Jack, tucked the hair behind her ear again. Her straight, dark hair framed her heart-shaped face. Her hazel eyes were large and thoughtful. "Jack, I'll definitely take your case for you. I can't make any promises, you know? I think you have a good chance, though. Bobby _is_ your son, after all."

Jack smiled and let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Thanks, Anna."

"Now, the first thing we need to do is reply to his affidavit. Take it home, read it carefully, and write down your replies. Come back tomorrow and we'll get it typed up. We'll get more affidavits from your friends around here. I'm sure Ellen and Colin would be willing to write something on your behalf. Anyone else you can think of?"

"Well, yeah. Kelly, Tyler, Janie Peterson. She's the social worker that came to the house. She's been back three or four times since then."

"Okay. And Ennis, of course."

They both looked at Ennis, seated next to Jack. "Of course," he agreed, though in his heart he wondered if that would help Jack, or hurt him.

Anna smiled at them. "All right, you guys go home and try to relax, now." She stood and walked them to the door.

When they were outside, Jack turned to Ennis with a wry smile. "Relax. Easy fer her t'say."

Ennis didn't say anything, but when they got in the truck and headed out of town, he surprised Jack by reaching over and taking his hand in his. He held it all the way home.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"After you left yesterday, I filed a motion for a continuance and for a change of venue. Bobby lives here, so it only makes sense that the case is here in this county," Anna said to Jack and Ennis, who were seated in her office.

"What does that mean?" Jack asked.

"A continuance means that I asked for the court to schedule your hearing at a later date, so we actually have time to prepare. Change of venue means we want the hearing to be in this county instead of in Texas. Like I said, this is where Bobby lives now, so it should be heard here in Minnesota. Plus it'll save you, and me, from having to travel to Texas. It doesn't mean the judge will agree, but I want to try for it."

Jack looked relieved.

"Now, you read over this and make sure it's all correct. If it is, I'll have my secretary notarize it." She handed him his affidavit, which was now neatly typed.

Jack read it quickly, then nodded. "Sounds right." He couldn't believe he had to go through this. L.D. had accused him of being unfit, not able to take care of Bobby, that he'd never loved him, never taken care of him, and that he was an alcoholic. By some miracle, it appeared that L.D. did not yet know that Jack was living with Ennis, so there was nothing referring to it in the paperwork. Jack realized, however, that this meant someone else must have made the 'anonymous' report to social services.

"We'll file only your affidavit to begin with and see if it can't be resolved with that. Maybe if L.D. knows you're taking him seriously, he'll drop it."

"Yeah, right. You don't know L.D. Newsome, Anna." Jack said, shaking his head.

"It can't hurt to try," she smiled encouragingly. "And since he doesn't mention your homosexuality," Jack and Ennis looked at each other, their eyes wide, "we'll try to keep a lid on it as long as possible. It's not that I have anything against it. Obviously," she grinned at them, "and I don't think you should hide it in your daily lives. I'm not saying that. We have to face reality, though. Maybe someday our lifestyles will be accepted as normal, but today isn't that day, as much as I hate to admit it. My point is, I want to keep it out of the court process as long as possible."

"I understand," Jack agreed, even as it galled him as much as he knew it did Anna.

She stood and went into the lobby, followed by Jack and Ennis. "Jenny," she addressed her secretary, "would you please notarize this for Jack?"

"Sure." Jenny watched him sign it, then signed and dated it herself.

"Okay, guys, that's all for now. Are you going to Danny's birthday party tonight?"

"We don't feel much like celebratin', but Bobby ain't been talkin' 'bout much else, so yeah, we'll be there," Jack replied.

"See you there," she said, walking them to the door.

"Bye, Anna."

Ennis nodded at her, then put his hat on.

"Wanna go somewhere fer lunch?"

"Sure. Where?"

"How 'bout that little diner on main street. We ain't been there yet."

"Okay," Ennis agreed as they got in Jack's truck and he drove to the diner. Ennis still felt some anxiety at being out in public with Jack, but it was getting better. Other than Jim Jackson, no one had bothered them. _Not to our faces, anyway_, Ennis thought. Each new place they went was somewhat of a test for him.

They went in the diner and took a seat in a booth next to a window. A young woman with curly blonde hair and a pasted on smile approached. "Hi, guys. What can I get you?"

"Coffee, t'start," Jack said, giving her one of his bright smiles.

"Same here."

"Okay. Menus are right there," she pointed to the menus, which were propped between the napkin holder and the window ledge. By the time she returned, they'd both decided on burgers and french fries.

Ennis realized that Jack was strangely subdued. He'd barely said a word while they'd been sitting there. When he looked at Jack's face he saw a crinkle above his nose and a faraway look in his eyes. "Jack, where ya at, bud? Looks like yer a million miles away."

"Jus' thinkin' about goin' t'court. Ya know, Ennis, I didn't want Bobby. Before he was born, I mean. I was so mad at Lureen, then, once we got married and I started workin' fer her dad and we had a real house and I wasn't so goddamn poor, it seemed like a good thing. But I was still thinkin' o' myself, not Bobby. Then, when he came along, I didn't appreciate him. Sure, he was cute and precious, but I didn't realize how much I really loved him 'til we moved here. I know I was miserable in Texas and it's hard t'be happy an' lovin' towards someone else when yer miserable yerself." He met Ennis's eyes, a fierce look in his own. "Maybe this is punishment fer all that. Maybe I don't deserve t'have him with me." He looked down at his hands, clasped together on the table in front of him, his jaw clenched tight.

Ennis wanted to take those hands in his so much that his heart hurt. Instead, he just leaned forward. "Jack, stop it. You may not have had some big smack upside that head that said 'I love my son', but you've loved him all the same. I remember the look on yer face the first time ya told me about him. Remember that? Ya told me 'he smiles a lot'. Ya could just said he was eight months old an' left it at that, but ya didn't. You were always talkin' about him, always sounded so proud. And now that I've seen ya with him, ain't no doubt in my mind that you love that boy. You're crazy 'bout him. And he's crazy about you, too. So knock off this 'I don't deserve him, this is my punishment' shit. Ya deserve t'be happy, Jack. I want ya t'be happy. I want that more'n anything in the world."

Jack was staring at him. He couldn't believe this was Ennis. Ennis, who it usually pained to get more than two sentences in a row out. And while they were sittin' here, in a diner, where anyone could hear him. Jack smiled. Not his thousand watt smile, but a sweet smile nonetheless.

"What're you smilin' about?" Ennis asked.

"Ya jus' surprise me sometimes, cowboy."

Whatever reply Ennis may have made was lost, because the waitress appeared at that moment with their meal.

* * *

Chaos reigned in the McIntyre back yard. There were kids everywhere. Hannah and Emma asked Ennis two times (each) when Franny and Junior were coming back to visit. However, by the time the sun went down, most of the guests had left. Jack, Ennis, Anna, and Nancy were left. Unfortunately, the disappearance of the sun brought the appearance of mosquitoes. For some reason, they seemed to love Jack, but left Ennis virtually alone. Jack was complaining bitterly, scratching yet another welt on his arm, when Ennis leaned near and whispered that they loved him 'cause he was so sweet. Jack pushed him away and mouthed _fuck you_, but there was a small smile on his face as he said it.

Colin had started a campfire for the kids to roast marshmallows. After the roasting and cleaning up all the stickiness, Ellen sent the kids to bed, including Bobby, who was spending the night.

Nancy and Anna were in an oversized lawn chair. Jack tried not to stare, but his eyes were drawn to them. They were so free and easy together. Anna leaned back in Nancy's arms and every once in a while Nancy would nuzzle her neck or say something in her ear, meant just for her. Jack admitted to himself that he was jealous. He wondered if he and Ennis would ever be that free with each other. Then he felt bad for thinking it. He and Ennis living together was something he thought would never happen. He looked at Ennis tenderly and saw Ennis watching Nancy and Anna, with a thoughtful look on his face. Jack wondered if Ennis shared his thoughts.

Colin stirred the fire and added another log. Jack watched the sparks rise into the night sky, then felt his eyes drawn back to the two women.

"How did you make it all these years?" he asked, no longer able to keep quiet.

Anna laughed, "I was wondering when you were going to ask something like that."

Jack blushed, "I'm sorry, that was too personal, wasn't it?"

Anna smiled at him kindly, "No, Jack, it wasn't too personal. If I were in your place, I'd ask too."

"To start with," Nancy began, "I think it helped that I grew up here. I have a lot of family and friends and they knew me before they knew about my sexuality. Some of them didn't approve, of course," her light blue eyes dipped down for a heartbeat and Anna rubbed her arms gently, "but there were enough left who loved me that it didn't matter."

"We kept a low profile, too, at the beginning."

"I think people focused so much on the fact that I had the twins without being married, that they initially overlooked my living with Anna. That was quite a scandal at that time. Heck, things like that are still a scandal."

"They probably thought I was a nanny," Anna laughed.

"But eventually, we became a part of the landscape and no one questioned it. Well, not usually. There are people who refuse to see me, as a physician."

"And I'm sure I've missed some cases because of it. In the end, it doesn't matter what other people think," Anna looked at Nancy, her eyes softening, "I wouldn't have traded the last twenty years with this woman for anything." She leaned in, their foreheads touched.

It was an act of tenderness Jack and Ennis had done many times themselves. The familiarity of it touched something deep inside Jack. He looked at Ennis, saw the soft brown eyes looking back, and knew Ennis was feeling what he was. Jack looked back to the two women just as they exchanged a kiss. He hoped that some day he and Ennis would feel that free. Even though they were surrounded by friends, he couldn't imagine Ennis kissing him in front of anyone else. Then again, Ennis had surprised him over and over since that fateful day when he'd driven to Wyoming after he heard of Ennis's divorce.

During the drive home, Ennis was quiet, looking out the window and smoking a cigarette.

"Penny fer yer thoughts," Jack said.

"Hmph. Just wonderin' if the world will ever change. Anna and Nancy are real nice. They got good jobs, nice kids, but some people still treat 'em different 'cause of who they love."

"You ever regret comin' here, Ennis?" Jack asked softly, hesitantly.

Ennis turned to him slowly. "Jack, I won't deny that I haven't thought about what a hard life we might have. But, the truth is, it's gone so much better, so far, than I ever imagined it could. Makes me sorry we didn't do it sooner." He looked down at his hands, took a last drag on the cigarette before putting it out. "I shoulda listened t'you a long time ago, darlin'."

"Ennis, I hate to admit it, but I don't know if it coulda worked sooner. I mean, maybe we coulda found a way t'make it work, but things have a way of workin' themselves out. Even though it took us a while t'get here, I'm not gonna look back." He stopped the truck in front of the garage and turned to Ennis, a wicked smile on his face. "Since you're so sorry, maybe ya oughtta make it up t'me."

"Is that so? I thought ya weren't lookin' back." Ennis smirked at him, his eyes twinkling.

"Changed m'mind. You _definitely_ need t'make it up t'me." He leaned close and pressed his lips to Ennis's.

"What'd'ya have in mind?" Ennis asked, his voice low, kissing back, his tongue tracing Jack's lips.

"Mmm . . . definitely something naughty." The sound of kissing and heavy breathing filled the truck.

* * *

The guys were all down at the lake. Ennis wished it was another lazy day like the one when the girls were visiting, but today they had a different purpose for being here. They were going along with Jack's idea to clear the trees and brush to make a bigger beach. Ennis wiped his arm across his forehead, trying to wipe away some of the sweat that was dripping into his eyes. Dwayne and Dayle had shed their workshirts and t-shirts long ago, complaining of the heat and humidity. They were nice boys and Ennis found he was really beginning to like them. Right now, they were taking a break, which had started out with them wading into the water to cool off and ended up with them trying their best to dunk each other, and trying to outshout each other, by the sounds of it.

He smiled and shook his head, then turned around to see Jack and Tyler coming back down the trail from hauling the trees out to the clearing that bordered the trees.

"That would be fun," Tyler was saying.

"What would be fun?" Ennis asked.

"I told Tyler we should have a bonfire to get rid of some o' that brush and wood. Have a party, invite ever'one over."

"That is a good idea." Ennis agreed. "We got a lot more work t'do afore that, though."

"You better get those boys outta the water then, get their asses back t'work."

"Jack, when'd you turn into such a slavedriver? I thought ya prefered t'sit down an' work." Ennis smirked at him.

"I'm gonna work you over good, if ya make any more comments like that," Jack smirked back.

"Think ya already did that last night," Ennis said in a low voice, meant only for Jack. "Oh, close yer mouth," Ennis said, seeing Jack's jaw drop, "ya know it's true," he finished, and brushed by a shocked Jack as he went back to work.

By noon, Ennis, Jack, and Tyler had shed their shirts, too. It was too hot and humid to be modest. Ennis had to keep his eyes lowered though. The sight of Jack, shirtless and sweating, his muscles rippling with each move he made, was almost too much for him to bear. He found out Jack was having the same problem when the other three disappeared up the trail with a particularly large tree. Jack pulled him close and met his lips fiercely.

"You're drivin' me crazy, cowboy. You're so sexy, it's drivin' me nuts. If we were out here alone . . ." he trailed off, his lips occupied with Ennis's.

Ennis broke away, breathing hard, "You ain't the only one." He kissed him again, then broke away once more. "You think I'm sexy?"

Jack chuckled gently, "You know I think you're sexy, Ennis."

Ennis smiled, "It's nice t'hear it sometimes, though." They broke apart when they heard the boys returning.

After lunch, Ennis stood by the lake smoking a cigarette. Jack had gone back to the house to call Anna, hoping for some news about the continuance and change of venue. Dwayne and Dayle were working behind him. He suspected they finally realized that the sooner they finished, the sooner they could leave. He'd heard them earlier talking about a double date for tonight. Tyler was lying on the dock, his eyes closed. Ennis realized he was staring at Tyler while he smoked, admiring the dark hair spread out beneath him, the muscular chest and flat stomach, and narrow hips that topped long legs. When he realized what he was doing, he blushed and looked down, hoping no one had noticed, wondering how long he'd been staring. He turned and went down the trail, not bothering to say where he was going.

* * *

Tyler was lying in a summer field of sweet grass and daisies. He looked up at the sky, so blue he felt he could swim right up into it and disappear. The sun was bright and warm upon his skin. He closed his eyes and just drifted for a while. Shadow and coolness came over him, so he opened his eyes. A tall, rangy man stood in front of the sun, his features shaded by the brightness behind him. He startled Tyler by crouching down and straddling his hips, his hands on Tyler's chest. Tyler put his hands on the muscular thighs, lightly, barely touching, felt the strength beneath the denim. The other man leaned close, his blond curls moving in the slight breeze. Tyler couldn't stop himself–he put his hand up, touched the cheeks, slid his fingers into the soft curls. The face turned into his hand, kissed the inside of his palm.

Their eyes met again and came closer as the other man leaned forward until their bare chests touched. Tyler drew in his breath, closed his eyes, opened them again and met the light brown eyes, mesmerized by the sprinkle of freckles across the nose. His hands moved up to the slim waist and he was surprised by the other man's indrawn breath when his hand touched the bare skin. Their eyes locked and slid apart as their lips met, tentatively, at first, then more urgently. A tongue probed into his mouth, which he opened wider, granting access, exploring with his own. He arched up, his arousal mirrored by the other, heat and hardness met, separated by denim. Kisses deepened and they rolled over. Tyler, now on top, leaned down, his hair fell in a dark curtain on each side of their faces. He kissed lips, neck, ears, chest. They slipped out of their jeans, slowly, reveling in each inch of skin revealed.

_A hand moved low, exploring the silky thighs, then the heat between them. A finger slipped inside, met no resistence, touched that sweet, sweet spot. Another finger slipped inside as legs fell apart, hips rising to drive the fingers further in. A low moan escaped from one, or perhaps both._

Tyler looked down at the wondrous sight beneath him.

_Eyes, dark with desire, looked into the darker ones above. Hands came up to tangle in the long, black hair. Their lips met again, more urgently now. A harsh sigh quivered in the air._

Hips bucked, ready_ . . . please please please . . .yes yes yes . . ._

_Tyler entered the slick tightness, while the beautiful being underneath him writhed with need, calling his name . . . Tyler Tyler Tyler oh god Tyler._

His lips moved, kissing, whispering into the sweet mouth, _Ennis Ennis Ennis_.

_Release came slowly, wave after incredible wave._

Tyler opened his eyes, Ennis's name still upon his lips, his hand still wrapped around his cock, could feel the warm wetness on his stomach. He sighed and moved his hand, wiped his stomach with the edge of the sheet, then felt a tear slip down the side of his face, to wet his hair, knowing he could never make this dream come true.

_Kelly opened her eyes, Tyler's name still on her lips, Her body ached with the memory of the dream of his body heavy on hers, around her, inside her. She rolled onto her side and curled into a ball, pulled her pillow to her face to staunch the tears, knowing she could never make this dream come true._


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Hey, sunshine, what's the matter?" Jack put his arm around Kelly's shoulders. She looked up at him, then put her head down on his shoulder.

"Nothing. I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Somethin' wrong, sweetheart?"

A long sigh escaped her, "No, nothing's wrong." They stood like that for a while, until Bobby came running in the door.

"Daddy, can I have a cookie? I'm starving!"

Jack turned to him, grinning, "Starving? Really?"

"Yes! Look at my belly!" He pulled up his shirt and sucked his stomach in. "See?"

Jack and Kelly both laughed, "Okay, you can have a cookie. Maybe you better have two, so ya don't waste away t'nothing."

"Want some milk with it, Bobby?" Kelly asked.

"Yes, please!"

"Ya know, Bobby, we're both standin' right here, so ya don't need ta yell."

"Sorry, Daddy."

Jack ruffled his hair and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "It's okay." He went to Kelly and kissed her cheek, then whispered in her ear, "I don' believe ya, 'bout nothin' bein' wrong, so if ya ever wanna talk, you let me know."

She ducked her head down, a small smile on her lips, "I will. Thanks, Jack."

He winked at her and went out the door.

Jack found Ennis in the stable, brushing Jojo. He stood in the door, just watching, admiring the gentleness in Ennis's movements. He particularly liked it when Ennis bent over and showed him a perfect view of his Levi-clad backside. He realized that Ennis had filled out a little, since they'd moved here, in all the right places. _He was always too thin_, Jack thought.

Ennis must have sensed eyes upon him, because he turned around at that moment, found Jack's eyes upon him, and smirked. "You lookin' at my ass?"

"So what if I am?" Jack smirked back. They stood, Ennis in shadow and Jack in the sun, for a few moments, until Jack's grin grew bigger, into that thousand-watt, bright as sunshine, just-for-Ennis smile. They started forward at the same time and met in the middle, not embracing, just standing toe-to-toe, looking into each others' eyes. As Jack stood there, he realized,_ really realized_, that he was happy here, with Ennis, with Bobby, being productive, making friends, being loved back. He thought back and couldn't ever remember being this happy in his entire life. His blue eyes softened as he took one of Ennis's hands in his. He looked down at it, took in the callouses and dirt on it, thought nothing was more beautiful. He met the brown eyes again and caught the bemused look in them, just as the other hand came up to caress his cheek and pull his face close. Their lips met and in that light kiss, Jack felt himself falling. He hadn't thought it possible to love Ennis any more than he did, but found, in that moment, it was possible and he did. He leaned in for a deeper kiss.

They were interrupted when Bobby appeared at the door, shouting, "Daddy! Telephone!" he skidded to a stop, watching them break apart, but didn't say anything more.

Jack backed up at step, his eyes still locked with Ennis's, smiled, almost shyly, before turning to leave.

Ennis watched him go, then went back to Jojo. He picked up the brush again, but didn't start using it. He stood there, lost in thought, running his hand down Jojo's neck. After a while, he shook his head, as if to clear it, then finished brushing Jojo. He put the brush away, went into the house, and was washing his hands in the sink when Jack came down the stairs.

"That was Anna on the phone. Said she had good news and bad news." He looked around, making sure they were the only ones in the room and continued, "The good news is, the judges granted the change of venue, so we don't have to go to Texas. The bad news is, we still have to go to the hearing on Friday because L.D.'s lawyer filed a motion or something asking fer L.D. and Faye to have visits with Bobby right now."

"Can they do that? They ain't even his parents."

"Anna said they could. Doesn't mean they'll get 'em, but she said they can try." Jack hesitated before asking, "You gonna come with me t'court tomorrow?"

"Ya think that's a good idea Jack? Remember what Anna said about keepin' a low profile?"

"I know, but I cain't hide who I am an' I could really use yer support tomorrow."

"I don't know, Jack. I don't know if it's a good idea."

"Ennis, is that what this is really about, or are ya still afraid o' bein' seen with me?"

"Jack, no, it isn't about that! I jus' don't want ya t'lose Bobby 'cause o' us."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "You sure?"

Ennis took three long steps forward to Jack and put his arms around him, pulling him close, "Jack, I love you an' I'd do anything fer you. I hope you know that by now. But us bein' t'gether–that could go against you an' your son. I don't want that t'happen. I love Bobby too, ya know. I know it would hurt him t'be separated from you."

Jack started to tremble. He'd thought, in the stable, that he couldn't love this man any more, but knew now that wasn't true. He gripped Ennis tighter and buried his face in his neck. Ennis just held him. When he finally pulled back, he said, "I'll leave it up t'you t'come or not, but I want ya t'know that I want ya there."

"Okay. I'll think on it, Jack."

* * *

The next morning Jack woke early, before dawn. Ennis was spooned around him, with one arm under his head and the other resting on his hip. He reached for the hand on his hip and brought it to his chest, held it there, their fingers entwined. He felt Ennis stir behind him, then smiled as he felt lips on the back of his neck. Ennis kissed him as he moved head forward, until he reached his ear, where he whispered, "Mornin' darlin'."

"Mornin'." Jack replied, still smiling.

"We oughta get up. Wanna get t'the courthouse early."

Jack turned his head to meet Ennis's eyes in the gloomy light. "You're comin' with me?"

Ennis didn't say anything at first, so Jack turned onto his back, looking up. Ennis ran his finger down Jack's cheek. "I made a promise t'be here with you, Jack, an' I knew it wouldn't be easy. I can't just pick an' choose when I'm gonna stand by you, it has to be all the time. If ya need me there with you today, I'm gonna be there. I just don't want it to come back an' hurt ya."

Jack arched his head up to kiss Ennis, then pulled him into an embrace. Ennis rested his head on Jack's chest and they lay like that for a while.

"We're gonna halfta shower t'gether, t'save time, if we don't get up soon."

Jack chuckled, "You think it'll save time if we shower together?"

"Didn't we already have this conversation?" Ennis turned his head to grin at Jack.

"Yeah, an' we decided it definitely wouldn't save time. If we get in there right now, though, we can shower t'gether an' _not_ save time."

Ennis jumped up and reached for his hand, "Well, come on then, let's go." Jack took his hand and followed.

* * *

Ennis and Jack came down the stairs later, dressed in their best jeans and shirts, to the smell of coffee already brewing. Kelly was curled on the couch, her hair loose and pooling behind her. She opened her dark eyes and sat up, stretching and yawning. "Geez, I thought you guys were never coming down," she said, standing up.

"Hey, beautiful."

"What're ya doin' here so early?" Ennis asked, cocking an eyebrow at Jack.

"Jack asked me to come early today, to watch Bobby while you guys were gone."

"Is that so?"

"Ennis, I didn't know you'd change yer mind, but I was hopin' ya would, so I planned ahead."

Before Ennis could reply, they heard a noise from upstairs. They all looked up as Tyler came out of his bedroom, already dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Jack looked away, but noticed that both Kelly and Ennis continued to watch Tyler. He felt a prick of uneasiness, but dismissed it when Ennis turned and met his eyes. They all had a cup of coffee together, then Tyler went out to start the chores and Jack and Ennis got in Jack's truck.

"Anna said t'get there early, see if we can reach an agreement before we go in front of the judge."

"Is L.D. gonna be there?"

"I dunno. I s'pose he prob'ly will," Jack sighed. They rode the rest of the way in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When he stopped in front of the courthouse, neither made a move to get out of the truck.

Jack lit a cigarette, took a long drag and passed it to Ennis. "I'm glad yer here with me, Ennis."

"I jus' hope it's the right thing, Jack." He handed the cigarette back.

Jack opened his door and got out, stubbed the cigarette out on the ground. Ennis got out and followed him inside. They went to the fourth floor, where the courtrooms were. Anna was already there, seated on a bench at the top of the stairs.

"Hi, Jack, Ennis. How are you today?"

"Nervous as hell," Jack smiled.

"Well, I haven't seen anyone else up here yet. Maybe they aren't coming."

"Yeah, an' maybe the devil is havin' himself a skatin' party," Jack replied, just as they heard a commotion on the stairs.

"Why the hell are the courtrooms on the fourth floor?" a gruff voice was complaining.

"See, hell ain't froze over after all." Jack said, between clenched teeth.

"That him?" Ennis asked.

"Yep," Jack said, turning to face the stairs. A heavy man appeared, deep grooves in his face, which was red from exertion, his mostly gray hair slicked back off his forehead. A thin woman walked beside him and another man, in his forties or so, dressed in a dark suit, followed behind.

"Ah, here's the little pissant now," L.D. said, looking up to see Jack at the top of the stairs.

"L.D.," Jack and L.D.'s lawyer said at the same time. Jack, with resignation; the lawyer, in a warning voice.

"Faye, how are you?" Jack asked the woman.

"I'm okay, Jack. Miss Bobby an' Lureen, though." Jack just nodded as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"Where's my grandson?" L.D. asked.

"He's at home, prob'ly in bed. You don't think I'd bring 'im here, do ya? Courthouse an' arguin' adults ain't no place fer a child."

L.D. didn't say anything, just shook his head, before focusing his gaze on Ennis, "Who's this now?"

"This is my friend, Ennis Del Mar."

L.D.'s eyes narrowed. "Ain't he that guy ya used t'go fishin' with?"

"Yeah. I tol' ya we were friends."

L.D. looked ready to say more, but his lawyer stepped forward and held his hand out to Anna. "Ms. Grant," she nodded, "it's nice to finally meet you in person. I'm Rick Lawson."

"Hello, Mr. Lawson. Yes, nice to meet you." They'd talked on the phone a few times.

"Could you and I talk for a few minutes?"

"Sure. There's a conference room down the hall," she said, leading him away.

"How is Bobby?" Faye asked Jack.

"He's doin' real good. He made a good friend at school an' he lives close. They spend a lotta time t'gether."

"They have good schools around here?"

"Seems like it."

L.D. huffed his breath out. "How would you know what a good school is? Stupid rodeo pissant."

"Hey, you watch yer mouth," Ennis said.

"Or what? You gonna do somethin' about it?" L.D. said, puffing his chest out.

"We're in a courthouse and there's a lady present. Oughta show more respect."

L.D.'s eyes narrowed again, "What're you doin' here? Ain't you from Wyoming?"

Before Jack or Ennis could reply, the lawyers were coming back down the hall. "Jack, can I talk to you for a minute?" Anna asked. He and Ennis followed her into the conference room.

"They're asking for you to agree to give them custody today. I told him no, on that point. They also want visits with Bobby. They asked for the rest of the summer–for him to go to Texas with them."

"No way. Absolutely not." Jack shook his head.

"I told him you probably wouldn't agree to that, but I'd ask. Do you have an alternative plan?"

"I don't wanna keep 'em from their grandson, but I don't want that man poisoning my son against me. If I give him too much time, I know that's what he'll try t'do."

"How about a visit this weekend and a week in August, before school starts?"

Jack thought for a minute. "Okay, but the visit has gotta be here in Minnesota. I don't want him takin' Bobby outta the state."

"That's what I'll ask for. It's up to the judge, though. Wait here, let me go talk to Mr. Lawson."

Ennis and Jack were silent while they waited for Anna to return. Ennis was beginning to think it had been a huge mistake for him to be here.

Anna returned, "They agreed to stay here this weekend, but they want him to come to Texas for longer visits." Jack shook his head. "Well, let's go in the courtroom, leave it to the judge to decide." They followed her into the hallway and then into the courtroom. It was smaller than Jack thought it would be. Chairs lined two walls, one side for a jury and the other for the public. Two tables were in front of the judge's area, which was raised up, so the judge would be seated above everyone else. Jack and Anna sat at one table, while Ennis took a seat in the audience area behind them. L.D., Faye, and Mr. Lawson came in and sat at the other table. The bailiff asked them to stand as the judge came in, followed by his court reporter.

"Here ye, here ye, the ninth judicial district court is now in session, the honorable Judge Ralph A. Lundeen presiding. Please be seated."

"We're here for a custody motion on case FA-76-196. State your appearances," the judge said.

"Anna Grant, for the respondent, Mr. Jack Twist, who is seated to my left."

"Richard Lawson, for the petitioners, L.D. and Faye Newsome, who are seated to my right."

"Have the parties reached an agreement on anything?"

"Your honor, if I may?" Anna started. She continued at his nod, "The parties have agreed to the Newsome's having a visit with Bobby this weekend, here in Minnesota. The Newsomes have asked to have Bobby spend the rest of the summer with them in Texas and my client is opposed to that. Mr. Twist is Bobby's biological father. He and his wife were married until her death in April. There is no reason to grant a change of custody. Mr. Twist is willing to allow the Newsomes visits; he is their grandson, after all, but Bobby has lived here for four months now, with his father, and he is making this his home. He has friends in the area and is making a life here. It would be disruptive to him to spend five or six weeks away. Mr. Twist would agree to a week long visit in August, provided it takes place here in Minnesota."

"Mr. Lawson?" the judge asked.

"Your honor, Mr. and Mrs. Newsome were very close to their daughter and grandson. We are not here to argue for custody today, but they are very concerned about the care Bobby is getting. They would assert that Mr. Twist was never a good father. He was frequently gone, leaving Bobby's care to their daughter. They are also concerned that he drinks heavily and leaves frequently, for days at a time."

During this speech, Ennis felt L.D.'s eyes on him, boring into him.

"We feel it would be best for the child if they were granted an extended visit for the rest of the summer, in their home state of Texas. Bobby lived there for the first nine years of his life. He also has friends there. They assert it would not be disruptive because he is familiar with the area and their home."

The judge shuffled through the file for a moment, then said, "This is what I'm going to do. I'm granting the visit for this weekend, since you all agree to it. I'm denying the motion for the child to spend the rest of the summer in Texas. I am granting a week long visit, to take place here in Minnesota, for the week of August first through the seventh. I am, however, ordering Mr. Twist to undergo an alcohol assessment. It needs to be completed within the next four weeks, with the results to be released to the court. In the meantime, I'm ordering that Mr. Twist not consume any alcohol or have any in his house. The custody hearing is scheduled for September 20, with a pre-trial set for September 13. Any questions?" L.D. was grumbling under his breath. "Mr. Lawson, does your client have a question?"

"No, your honor." Rick glared at L.D. and hissed at him to be quiet.

"If there's nothing else, I'll see you in September."

They met outside the courtroom door. "Where should my clients pick Bobby up? And what time?" Rick asked.

"How about after lunch? It'll give me time t'go home an' talk t'Bobby. Let him know what's happening. I'll drop him off at their hotel at one o'clock."

"Okay. They're staying at the Best Western on highway 169. You know where that is?"

"Of course," Jack replied.

"You better not be late," L.D. growled.

"I won't. See ya then." Jack said, walking away, Ennis and Anna at his side.

"Jack, why don't you stop in my office after you drop Bobby off and we'll set up the alcohol assessment."

"Sure," he agreed. He and Ennis got in the truck and started home.

"Yer awful quiet," Jack said, after a while.

"I don't like the way L.D. kept lookin' at me. He's surely figured somethin' out. I shoulda stayed home today."

"Ennis, we can't hide forever. I'm thankful you were there today. I needed ya there."

"Didn't look like it t'me. Ya handled ever'thing just fine, Jack. Kinda sexy, the way ya stood up t'him."

"I didn't stand up t'him."

"Sure ya did, you were patient, polite, sweet t'Faye, didn't complain, let them have a visit with Bobby. Standin' up don't mean pickin' a fight. Sometimes it means just bein' the bigger person."

Jack blushed and reached across the seat for Ennis's hand. He laced their fingers together and squeezed. He was quiet for a while, watching the road. Suddenly, he turned to Ennis, "Did you call me sexy?"

Ennis smiled his crooked smile, "I was wonderin' how long it'd take fer that t'register with ya. 'Course I did. You know I think you're sexy, Jack."

"Nice t'hear sometimes, though."

"Yep."

The rest of the drive was silent.

* * *

"Are ya all packed?" Ennis asked Bobby, who was in the entryway putting his sneakers on.

"Yep. D'ya think I should take my mud boots?"

"Hmm . . . I don't think it's supposed to rain, so I think y'can leave 'em here. Do you have our phone number? Your daddy tell you to call anytime ya want?"

"Ennis, I know my own phone number. I'm not a baby, ya know."

Ennis chuckled. "I know. You have a good time, okay? Better get goin', I think yer dad's waitin' fer ya."

"Okay," Bobby said, then surprised him by throwing his arms around Ennis's waist. "Bye, Ennis, see ya on Monday."

Ennis, moved almost to tears by this simple gesture, put his arms around him and returned the hug. "See ya Monday, son." He watched Bobby run out the door, down the steps, and climb up into Jack's truck.


	15. Chapter 14

_Time In A Bottle_ by Jim Croce and _Beautiful_ by Gordon Lightfoot are not mine, I just borrowed them.

Chapter Fourteen

Tyler came down the stairs with a duffle bag in his hand, dressed in a clean t-shirt and Levi's. Ennis noticed he'd also cleaned his boots. He tried not to notice anything else, like the way he smelled, fresh and clean from his recent shower, yet also like a summer field and earthy forest shadows, all mingled together.

"Goin' somewhere?"

"Oh, hey, Ennis," Tyler looked up, met his eyes and looked away, out the window. "Yeah, I'm goin' to visit a couple of friends over in Duluth. They went to school there and ended up staying. They've been after me to come down for a weekend, have some fun, you know?"

"Oh, sure."

"I've been putting it off; I think they're gonna try and set me up with a friend of theirs." His eyes danced to Ennis's again and away, just as swiftly.

"This friend . . . is it a girl . . . or a . . . a guy?" The words stumbled from Ennis's mouth, before his brain could stop them.

Tyler became intensely interested in something out the window. "A guy," he said softly.

Ennis nodded, all his suspicions and feelings confirmed. He felt something, low in his stomach, something that felt like excitement and fear, all rolled together and confused.

Tyler finally dragged his eyes back to Ennis's, his eyes cloudy, his face neutral. "I thought, that with Bobby gone for the weekend, maybe you and Jack might want some time alone together. Besides, I need to think, clear my head."

Ennis felt his jaw clench tight, couldn't stop it. The thought of Tyler with another man made him feel a little sick, which in turn made him feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. _Who am I t'stop 'im from finding someone else, when I got Jack. I got my sweet life. Got ever'thing I ever wanted_, he thought. Then another selfish, irrational thought wormed its way into his mind,_ I never knew there was more out there to want, though. _Ennis made himself smile, through his shame and disgust at himself. "You have a good time, Tyler. Be careful, though. We want ya comin' back t'us in one piece."

Tyler smiled, almost shyly, "I will, Ennis. Thanks." He turned to go and as he did, Ennis reached out and put his hand on Tyler's arm. It was a light touch, but to both men it felt like fire. Ennis jerked his hand away and Tyler went quickly to the door, not looking back.

* * *

"So, how'd it go?"

"Droppin' Bobby off or talking t'Anna?"

"Both. Start with Bobby."

Jack sighed, "It was hard, Ennis. Harder than I thought it would be. I'm so afraid L.D. will take him and run back t'Texas with him."

"He wouldn't dare, would he?"

"I sure as hell hope not. Even if he doesn't, I'm also worried that he'll try t'pump Bobby fer information. I don't want him t'put Bobby in the middle like that."

Ennis stood up and took their plates to the sink, then turned back after he started some wash water for them. "What about Anna? What did she say?"

"She told me about the alcohol assessment. She wants you t'get one, too, just in case." Jack looked at Ennis questioningly, went on when he saw a nod, "She said it's no big deal, we just go an' talk t'someone and they say whether or not we got a problem with drinkin'."

"I prob'ly did, in the past, when I was so fuckin' miserable," Ennis said.

"Me too, but I don't think either one o' us do now. Which reminds me, we gotta get rid of all the alcohol in the house."

"Ain't much, just a few beers in the fridge."

Jack finished clearing the table while Ennis washed the dishes. When he was done, he put his arms around Ennis, from behind, and kissed the back of his neck. "Look at us, just like an old married couple."

Ennis pulled the plug and grabbed a towel to wipe his hands, then turned around to face Jack, leaning against the counter. Jack looked up, his lips meeting Ennis's, both smiling through the kiss.

"We got the house to ourselves tonight."

"Looks that way."

"Mighty considerate of Tyler t'go away fer the weekend." Jack said. He didn't miss the flicker of darkness that passed through Ennis's eyes. It was gone so fast, though, that he thought maybe he was mistaken.

"What should we do?"

"I got some ideas."

"Any o' those ideas include us bein' naked?"

"Sure do. Thought maybe we could go skinny-dippin' down at the lake."

Jack drew back, surprised, "Skinny-dippin'?"

"Yeah," Ennis kissed him, "I know ya like t'do that."

"Well, all right then, let's go." Jack grabbed his hand and backed up.

"Right now?"

"Hell yeah, right now. It was yer idea, cowboy."

They raced down to the lake and shed their clothes when they got there. Jack ran down the dock and dove in, coming up sputtering, "Shit! It's colder'n I thought!"

Ennis waded in from the shore, checking for rocks, taking his time to get used to the water. He finally reached Jack and put his arms around him. They sank down into the water together as their lips met. Ennis wrapped his legs around Jack's waist, letting Jack hold him. He lost himself in the moment. This felt familiar–cold water, fresh air, Jack holding him close. He could do without the mosquitoes, though, feeling a welt break out on his shoulder and hearing their annoying buzz all around. Jack pulled them further in the water, until just their heads were above it, still joined at the lips. Suddenly, he felt a jerk from beneath him as Jack pulled them both underwater. He came up and splashed Jack in the face, drowning the laughter that came bubbling from Jack. They splashed each other for a while, laughing and shouting, then came together again. This time Ennis supported Jack's legs around his waist. Jack met his mouth fiercely, warmed now from the exertion of their water fight. Ennis kissed back, just as fiercely, his hands caressing the strong thighs that were locked tight around his waist. His hands went further back, to Jack's ass, felt a hardness press into his stomach as his hands got nearer to the valley between those firm cheeks.

"Ennis . . ." Jack moaned. Ennis pulled one hand forward and gripped Jack's erection, started a soft, smooth pulling motion. Jack's kisses became wild and erratic, alternately exploring with his tongue, sucking on Ennis's tongue, or lips, or pulling back, his breath uneven and shallow, interlaced with moans and mewls of pleasure. Finally, he arched back, pushed into Ennis's hand and almost knocked Ennis over as his orgasm overwhelmed him. He came to rest in Ennis's arms, his legs quivering, but still around Ennis's waist.

"Good lord, cowboy. You tryin' ta kill me?"

Ennis chuckled. "Be a hell of a way t'go, wouldn't it?"

Jack smiled bemusedly, "Yeah, it would. Wouldn't mind goin' that way."

Ennis stood up, pulling Jack with him, "Come on, let's get back t'the house. Too many damn bugs out here."

They pulled on their t-shirts, boxers, and boots, deciding to carry their jeans. "We gotta get some sneakers or somethin'. Cowboy boots're too damn hot fer summer. Looks mighty goofy, too, t'be walkin' around in our shorts and boots."

"You look goofy all the time, Jack, so it shouldn't be nothin' new." Ennis smirked at him.

"Ha ha ha, you're fuckin' hilarious, Ennis."

"Thought I was fuckin' you, Jack Twist."

"You better be nice t'me, or you ain't gettin' no more fuckin'."

Ennis turned and caught him in his arms, said in a low voice, "Thought I _was_ bein' nice t'ya, darlin'."

Jack smiled, said low, "Oh, you were cowboy, you were. That was real nice back there."

When they got in the house Jack turned the radio on. It was on the pop station Kelly favored, but a Jim Croce song that Jack particularly liked was playing.

_If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is to save every day 'til eternity passes away, just to spend them with you . . . if I could make days last forever, if words could make wishes come true, I'd save every day like a treasure and then, again, I would spend them with you . . ._

Jack took Ennis's hand and pulled him close, "Dance with me . . ."

Ennis shook his head, "I ain't dancin' with you, Jack."

"Sure do enough other stuff with me. Please?" He tugged on Ennis's hand and smiled as Ennis took a step towards him.

_. . . I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I wanna go through time with . . ._

Ennis came into his arms easily then, unable to deny Jack anything anymore, it seemed. One arm went around each other, the other clasped together between their chests, their cheeks together, as they swayed gently.

_. . . If I had a box just for wishes and dreams that had never come true, the box would be empty except for the memory of how they were answered by you . . ._

Jack felt Ennis's breath on his neck, felt it all the way down to his toes. The song ended and another began. They didn't stop moving together.

_At times I just don't know how you could be anything but beautiful, think that I was made for you and you were made for me . . . and I know that I won't ever change and we've been friends, rain or shine, for such a long, long time . . . laughing eyes and smiling face, it seems so lucky just to have the right, telling you, with all my might, you're beautiful tonight . . . and I know that you won't ever stray, 'cause you've been that way, from day to day, for such a long, long time . . . and when you hold me tight, how could life be anything but beautiful . . . think that I was made for you and you were made for me . . ._

Jack pulled Ennis tighter.

_. . . and I must say, it means so much to me, to be the one, who's telling you, I'm telling you, that you're beautiful . . ._

Ennis drew back a little, to meet Jack's eyes. Those blue eyes, that he could lose himself in, hoping to never be found. His lips met Jack's in a soft, tentative kiss. "Come on," he whispered, taking Jack's hand and leading him up the stairs.

* * *

_Ennis stirred, in the grips of a dream. He was kissing Jack, but when he drew back, those blue eyes had turned to a brown so dark they were almost black. He thought he must be mistaken, went back for another kiss, put his hands up to tangle in soft hair. Something didn't feel right. He pulled back again and saw his hands tangled in long, dark locks, looked to the face and saw Tyler staring back at him, looking confused._ Ennis stumbled back and came awake for real. He turned his head to see Jack, sleeping peacefully next to him. He got his breathing under control before he turned his body to spoon around Jack, felt some peace come over him when he laid his lips against the cool skin of Jack's strong back, then turned and rested his cheek where his lips had been.

* * *

"Daddy, what's a 'faggot'?" Bobby asked.

Jack looked at him sharply as Ennis nearly choked on his meatloaf.

"Where'd you hear that word, son?" Jack asked carefully.

"Grandpa said it. He said you were a faggot and so was Ennis."

Jack's face paled under his summer tan and he swallowed hard before answering, "Ya know how sometimes ya tell me not t'cuss?" Bobby nodded, "Well, that's kinda like a cuss word."

Bobby's eyes widened, "It is? How come grandpa said it?"

"Your grandpa cusses all the time, Bobby."

"Well, I guess that's true. But I never heard that one before."

"I guess it's new. I don't want to hear you sayin' it, okay?"

"Okay, daddy. Sorry."

"It ain't your fault, son."

Bobby was silent for a while, working on his meatloaf and baked potato. Finally, he asked, "But daddy, what does it mean?"

Jack sighed and looked at Ennis, before turning back to Bobby. "It's a bad word that some people use about men who love other men," he paused, "like me and Ennis. They don't like it an' don't understand it, so they gotta call it somethin' bad t'make themselves feel better." He sighed. "You'll prob'ly hear that word a lot, Bobby. I told ya before I wish I could save ya from all the bad stuff in the world, but I can't."

Bobby looked from his father to Ennis. He was confused. He missed his momma terribly, but he loved his dad more than ever. He knew that his dad was happier now than he'd ever been. Jack was loving and easy with him in a way he never used to be. And Ennis was so patient with him, like teaching him to ride properly. He could feel the bond between his dad and Ennis, a bond that had been somehow missing between his mom and dad. If this was _bad_, what was _good_? Was anything good? He wanted to call his grandpa and tell him he was wrong and not to call his daddy bad names, but he knew he wouldn't be able to do that.

Bobby Twist grew up a little in those short moments. Jack could see it on his face, and it tore at him, to see that bit of innocence lost. Bobby got up and came around the table, put his arms around his dad, "I love you, Daddy. I'm sorry grandpa called you a bad name." He went around to Ennis and gave him a hug, too. "I love you, too, Ennis."

Ennis couldn't speak, the lump in his throat threatened to strangle him. Instead, he drew Bobby close and hugged him tight, dropping a kiss on the dark head.

"May I be excused?" Bobby asked, pulling away, "I gotta go check on the midgies." He and Danny had started calling the miniature horses 'the midgies'.

"Sure, son, go ahead. Don't stay out too long, though, it's almost bedtime an' you need a bath tonight."

"Okay."

When he left, Ennis and Jack stared at each other, neither daring to break the silence for many long moments. Finally, Jack said softly, "Well, I guess L.D. knows about us."

* * *

Bobby was bathed and tucked in bed. Ennis and Jack were sitting on the couch together, watching the news, when the door opened and Tyler came in. He took his boots off and walked into the living room, took a seat in the easy chair.

"How's yer dad?" Jack asked.

"Stubborn," Tyler sighed.

"How'd dinner go?"

"Went fine. Took him to Willow Bay. It was slow tonight, so Alice had time to visit with us. I think Dad liked that. Things went bad when I took him home. Steve was there, had a bunch of friends partying with him."

"Your dad's okay with that?"

"He didn't say anything, just went on in, so I left." Tyler sighed.

"Did ya have a good weekend?"

"Yeah, it was fun. Nothin' too exciting happened," he said, meeting Ennis's eyes.

"Hmph. Glad ya had fun," Ennis said, turning back to the television.

Jack found the exchange odd, but didn't know why.

"You guys have a good weekend?" Tyler asked, unable to help himself.

"Sure. We went skinny-dippin', danced naked, an' howled at the moon," Jack replied, a serious look on his face. Tyler looked at them, his eyes wide, until he noticed the smile trying to escape from Ennis's lips and the sparkle in Jack's eyes.

Jack grinned, "You think we'd tell ya if we really did any o' those things?"

Tyler smiled, shaking his head. He missed the look Ennis gave Jack. They focused on the news for a while, watching the weather forecast. When it was over, Jack asked, "Hey, Tyler, have you known Kelly very long?"

"Yeah, we grew up practically next door to each other. Why?"

"She's just seemed upset the past few day. I thought maybe you'd know why."

Tyler had a pretty good idea what was wrong and it involved him, so he definitely didn't want to discuss it with anyone. He shrugged noncommittally and shook his head, with a vague thought that maybe he ought to talk to Kelly sometime soon.

Jack stood up, stretched and yawned. "I'm goin' ta bed."

"Yeah, me too," Ennis said, standing up. "'Night, Tyler."

"Good night."

* * *

Tyler stepped under the spray of the shower, wincing as the cool water hit his back. He arched his head back and felt the water sluice through his hair and down his back. He massaged shampoo through his hair, his mind drifting to the weekend with his friends. They'd introduced him to Charles, a friend of theirs who, once they'd learned he also preferred men, were bent on introducing the two. Charles was a nice, good-looking guy, but Tyler hadn't felt any spark with him. He felt a bit guilty at that. It was damn hard for guys like them to find each other, even though this was supposed to be part of the hippy-dippy , love generation.

He squeezed some conditioner into his hand and massaged it into his hair. _I should've tried harder, _he thought. _Why didn't I try harder, to find that spark? _He knew why, though he didn't want to admit it to himself. He felt himself grow hard again, seeing the face he tried hard to banish from his thoughts. Saw the broad chest, strong back, perfectly shaped lips, muscled arms, ending in long, gentle fingers. He reached for the 'cold' knob and turned it further, but it didn't help, so he did the only thing that would–jerking off in a few quick strokes, one hand on the wall to hold himself up. When he was done, it didn't take long for the cold water to make him shiver, so he turned it off and stepped out. The mirror wasn't even fogged up. He looked at the face staring back at him. Who was this stranger staring back at him, with haunted eyes?


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Kelly stirred a spoon of sugar into her cup, then added a healthy dose of cream. She propped her chin on her hand and stared out the window. Jack and Tyler were standing out by the barn, right in her line of sight. She couldn't hear what they were saying, even though the window was open. She did hear Jack laugh out loud after a minute and caught the grin on Tyler's face. _Wonder what they're talking about? _she thought. She sighed, feeling the weight of the world on her thin shoulders. A knock on the door startled her out of her reverie; she turned to see Janie Peterson open the door.

"Hi, Kelly, can I come in?"

"Of course! Want some coffee?"

"Sure, if you've got some made."

"There's always coffee around here," Kelly smiled. "What brings you out here today?"

Janie's smile disappeared. She looked down and tucked a lock of her blond curls behind her ear before looking up again.

"I take it you're not here for a personal visit."

Kelly could see the discomfort on the other woman's face. "Not exactly. Our agency got another call about Jack and Bobby, so my supervisor sent me out for a check-in. I told him I've been here a few times and don't have any concerns, but since the call came in he wanted me to make a special trip."

"Oh," Kelly nodded, handing her a cup of coffee. "Sit down. You want cream and sugar?" she slid them across the table to Janie.

"Where is everybody?"

"Jack's out back. Ennis took Bobby into town with him for some errands. They should be back any time now, if you want to wait."

"All right. Actually, I wanted to talk to you a little, if that's okay?"

Kelly's dark eyes met the faded blue of Janie's, shuttered and unreadable. "I guess."

"I just thought you might be getting to know the guys pretty good, since you're here most of the time." Kelly didn't reply, so she went on, "Kelly, what little I know about Jack and Bobby and even Ennis, I really like. I don't want anything bad to happen. I hope you, and they, know that. I'm really hoping that I'll be able to help them. But in order to do that, I have to know as much as possible about the situation."

"I understand, Janie." She took a sip of coffee, then stood up, "Would you like a cookie to go with your coffee? My mom sent some with me this morning. Molasses, my favorite." She brought a tin with rich brown cookies in it to the table.

"Have you lived here all your life?" Janie asked, taking a cookie.

"Yep. I grew up in Riverrun. Where are you from? I can tell you didn't grow up around here."

Janie laughed, "No, I'm from California."

"What brought you _here_?" Kelly asked.

"What else? A guy," she rolled her eyes. "I met Lance in college and followed him back here, got this job, and then he ran off with his high school sweetheart."

"Oh no! I'm so sorry," she paused before asking, "So how come you stayed?"

Janie looked thoughtful, "I'm not exactly sure. I like it here and I made a commitment with my job. I didn't want to quit right away. They took a chance hiring someone straight out of college, so I didn't want to let them down. And I've made some friends here. I've been trying to convince my brother to move out here. He's an artist and just can't seem to get his act together out there. Too many distractions, too many temptations. He's thinking about it." She paused for a moment, then took a deep breath before asking, "Kelly, does it bother you that Jack and Ennis are gay?"

Kelly choked on her cookie, took a big gulp of coffee to clear her throat, then looked at Janie, her eyes wide. "Wow, get right to the point, why don't you?"

"Sorry."

"Honestly? No. Most of the time I forget they _are_ gay. If I didn't know they shared a bed, I probably wouldn't know it at all. They don't show affection if they think anyone can see them. I've caught them hugging a couple of times, but that's it. Well, except the way they look at each other sometimes. They don't always hide what they're feeling as good as they think they do. Besides, they aren't the only gay men I know."

Janie arched her eyebrow at her, "Oh, really?"

"Yeah. And yes, you know him. I can see the question in your eyes," Kelly's eyes sparkled at her. "It's Tyler," she whispered loudly.

Janie's eyes got big and she glanced out the window. "No!"

Kelly sighed, "Completely unfortunately, yes."

"Hmm . . . I sense that you, particularly, wish he wasn't."

"You're very perceptive."

Janie's eyes narrowed, "What about Dwayne and Dayle? Are they gay too?"

Kelly laughed out loud, "Oh no! Not those two. I graduated with those boys and if they're gay, they hide it _amazingly_ well!"

Janie's face darkened, "Isn't Tyler staying here with Jack and Ennis? That might not look so good if L.D. heard . . ." she clapped her hand over her mouth, realizing she'd divulged something she shouldn't have.

Kelly laughed at her look, "Relax, Janie. Do you honestly think we don't all know who called your office? Who else would it be?"

Janie flushed, "Just the same, I'm not supposed to let things like that slip."

"Not supposed to let what slip?" a deep voice asked.

The women looked, to see Ennis just opening the door.

"Nothing. Girl stuff. You know . . ." Kelly trailed off, flapping her hand at him. She jumped up and took one of the grocery bags Ennis was carrying. "Let me help you."

"Hey Kelly! Look what Ennis got me!" Bobby yelled, running through the door. He held up a big, yellow, Tonka backhoe with a scoop on the front.

"Bobby, that's so cool!"

"Hi, Bobby." Janie smiled at him.

"Oh, hi, Janie. I gotta go show Daddy my backhoe! See ya later!" He raced out the door.

Ennis shook his head, a smile on his face, before looking up. "Hi, Janie. How're you?"

"Pretty good. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. You girls need anything?" They shook their heads, "Well, I gotta bring some stuff out to Dwayne and Dayle. See ya later."

They didn't say anything until he was gone. Janie turned to Kelly, "It's so strange to imagine that he's gay."

"Not that he'd admit it," Kelly interjected dryly.

"I've been around gay men and I'm not saying they've all been kinda girly, but Ennis is just . . . just . . . just such a manly man, such a . . . a cowboy. A real, live cowboy. Like John Wayne or something!" She giggled.

Kelly chuckled, "We shouldn't make fun, but I know exactly what you mean. And Jack, oh my goodness! He's so good looking. Those eyes . . ." she sighed, a starry look in her eyes. "I can see why Ennis fell in love with him."

"I know."

Kelly grew serious. "Do you know what's going to happen? Can L.D. really take Bobby away from Jack?"

"I don't know. It really is up to the judge on the case. From the little I know about the situation, I think it would be such a shame. Anyone who spends five minutes with Bobby and Jack should be able to see the mutual adoration. I guess L.D. is blind."

"I'm not excusing him, but he _did_ just lose his only daughter. People can do really stupid, selfish things when they're grieving." Her eyes were lost, looking somewhere beyond Janie.

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience," Janie said gently.

"Yeah, I am." She blinked quickly, then looked down.

Janie waited for her to say more, but she didn't. The silence was interrupted when Jack walked in the door.

"I heard there were two beautiful women in here," he grinned at them. Janie and Kelly looked at each other and giggled.

"Hi, Jack, how are you?" Janie asked.

"I'm pretty good. How are you?"

"Good."

"This a pleasure call or business?"

Janie sobered, "Business, I"m afraid. Our agency got another call, so my supervisor sent me out to check in with you."

"Ever'thin'g's fine, 'cept fer L.D. stickin' his nose where he shouldn't."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"Well, I'm just glad if someone's gotta be checkin' on us that it gets t'be you."

"Me, too."

Kelly excused herself to start supper, so Jack sat in her chair. "Did you guys set up the appointment for the alcohol assessment?" Janie asked.

"Yep, we're goin' next Monday."

"Was Ennis okay with it?"

"Yeah, why d'ya ask?"

"Well, because he's not required to do it and some people might feel that's a real invasion of privacy."

"He didn't say anything–just agreed t'do it."

"He really loves you, doesn't he?"

Jack smiled, a mix of shyness and confidence that only he could pull off, "Yeah, he does."

"Daddy!" Bobby ran in the door, "Can I go to Danny's house? An' can I take my new backhoe?"

"Bobby, have you forgotten how to talk without shouting?" Jack asked, trying to look serious, but failing utterly.

"Sorry. Can I?"

"Did you tell Ennis thank you for that backhoe?"

"Yes, o' course I did! Can I go?"

"How are you gonna carry that on yer bike?"

Bobby stopped, thinking hard. "I don't know. I didn't think o' that."

"Did you call Danny t'see if you can come over?"

"Yeah, an' he said I could."

"How 'bout I drive you?"

"Yeah! But we gotta go _now_!"

"Hang on, little man. We got company."

Bobby sighed deeply.

"Go on outside an' I'll be out in a coupla minutes." Bobby turned around and raced out the door.

Jack turned back to Janie, "So, what d'ya wanna know?"

"How is Bobby doing? With grieving for his mom?"

"He wakes up crying sometimes. Takes him a while t'get back t'sleep. Other than that, he seems okay. He spends a lot of time with Danny and seems t'be real attached to Kelly. And Alice. And Ennis, too. I guess we ain't yer typical family," he said, smiling bemusedly.

"It seems to work for you, though," Janie said. She had a sudden wish for Mr. Collins, her supervisor, to see what she saw. She wasn't sure he'd understand, though.

"Any more questions?" Jack asked.

"No. You better take Bobby over to his friends house before he explodes," she smiled at him.

"Yer prob'ly right," he grinned back and went out the door.

Janie picked up her cup and brought it to the sink. She turned to Kelly, who was at the counter peeling potatoes. "I swear, I could fall into those big, blue eyes of his and just disappear forever. And his eyelashes! I've never seen eyelashes like that on a man before." She sighed lustily, then grew mock serious, "Of course, if you ever repeat this to anyone, I'll totally deny it!"

"I won't tell," Kelly smiled at her sympathetically.

"I wish all my clients were that sweet. Ah well, I'd probably be out of a job if they were." Kelly raised her eyebrow at her. Janie flushed, "Oh, dear, that sounded bad, didn't it? Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be out of a job if every child in the world was safe and happy and healthy, but the fact is, some of them aren't."

"Do you want to stay for supper?" Kelly asked, steering the topic back to safer waters.

"No, I better not, since I'm here on _official business_," she wrinkled her nose. "In fact, I'd better get going." She started towards the door, but turned back before she reached it. "Kelly, would you like to get together sometime, just hang out, maybe see a movie or something? I had fun talking to you today."

"Sure, just give me a call."

"All right, I will. See you later."

"Bye."

* * *

Ennis kicked the sheet off his legs. He'd pushed the one light blanket they used off an hour ago and he was still too hot. The fan in the window didn't seem to be helping at all. _I can't believe Jack can sleep in this fuckin' heat. _Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore and sat up, thinking of taking a shower. _Dip in the lake would be better–won't wake anyone up. _He pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt, slipped out of the room and padded down the stairs. He put his sneakers on in the entryway and went quietly out the door.

The path to the lake was illuminated by the pale light of the almost-full moon. He stopped at the edge of the trees, mesmerized by the beauty of the moon reflecting off the dark water. There weren't even many bugs to bother him. He had a sudden strong longing for Jack. _I shoulda woke him up t'come with me. _He toyed with the idea of going back for him, but decided to just take a quick dunk and get back to bed. Jack had been sleeping pretty peacefully, after all.

Ennis stepped out of the trees and was startled by a movement on the dock. A voice said quietly, "It's gonna storm tonight."

"Think so?" he asked.

"Yep."

"Too hot t'sleep."

"It's the humidity."

"Yep."

Ennis stood frozen, not sure whether to go forward or back. He came to the conclusion that it seemed stupid to go back, now that he'd come all this way. He walked forward slowly. Tyler was lying on the dock.

"You come out here a lot?" he asked, then winced inwardly. _Sounded like a goddamn pickup line. Shit._

"Yeah, it's quiet. Peaceful."

Ennis toed his shoes off next to the dock and waded into the water, out to his waist, then sank down, dunked his head, and felt the coolness wash over him. He rested on his knees, all but his head under water.

Tyler sat up. "I've been thinking I should find somewhere else to stay."

"Why?" _Stupid question, dumbass!_

He could feel Tyler's gaze on him. "Ennis . . ."

"Tyler, I understand," he sighed, looking for words. He'd never been good at talking much or explaining what he was feeling. "You don't have to worry about anything happening. I like you, you're a hard worker, a nice guy. I appreciate everything ya do. You c'n trust me . . ." he trailed off, suddenly unsure.

"I trust you, Ennis." Tyler replied, then hesitated before adding, so softly Ennis barely heard it, "It's myself I don't trust."

There it was.

The silence stretched between them as each seemed afraid to move. After a while, Ennis started shivering and _had_ to get out of the water. He hoisted himself up on the dock, sitting near Tyler.

"Tyler, I don't know exactly what's goin' on here, but we gotta put it aside. You can stay as long as ya need to. We can put all this behind us. I mean, I can. Can you?"

"Sure, Ennis," he whispered.

Silence again.

Ennis looked at Tyler, barely visible in the moonlight, his face a collection of shadows and darker shadows, except where the pale light reflected from his eyes and the gleam on his cheek. He reached out his hand and put it on Tyler's arm. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." His voice belied his words. He drew in a deep breath and said, stronger, "I'm fine, Ennis. I'll be fine. Jack is a lucky man to have you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Or you." Tyler put his hand over Ennis's.

"I'm the lucky one," Ennis said, taking his hand away. He stood up abruptly. "I'm going back to the house."

"I'll be in later. I'm gonna sit here a while longer."

* * *

The phone rang while they were eating lunch the next day. Kelly answered and handed it to Jack right away.

"Hello? Hey, Anna . . . yeah . . . you're kidding."

Ennis looked up at the distressed sound in Jack's voice. Jack ran his hand through his hair. "Shit . . . okay . . . yeah, see ya then. Bye." He hung up and turned his back to the table, his shoulders slumped. Finally, he went up the stairs and into their bedroom.

Ennis waited a minute, then stood and followed him. He opened the door slowly. Jack was standing at the window, looking out over the rain-washed landscape.

"Jack? What's goin' on, bud?"

A sound escaped from Jack and his shoulders shook. _Oh god, he's crying! _Ennis thought. _What the hell happened?_

"Jack, darlin' . . ." Ennis turned him around and took him in his arms. "What's goin' on? What did she say?"

Jack took a shuddering breath. "L.D.'s lawyer filed a motion fer immediate custody of Bobby. He said it's because of us–that it ain't safe fer Bobby t'be livin' with _men like us,_" he snarled the last part.

Ennis ran his hand up and down Jack's back and kissed the side of his neck, before saying softly, "Jack, ya knew it might come t'this. I shouldn't've come t'court with you."

Jack relaxed into Ennis, "Don't say that. I tol' ya I needed ya there. He would've found out anyway, so it don't make no difference, you bein' there or not. Not t'him. Made a difference t'me, though." Jack drew his head back and looked into Ennis's eyes. Jack's cheeks were wet, his eyes were watery, and a tear was caught in his eyelashes. Ennis put his hands on the sides of his face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. He leaned in and kissed Jack softly.

"So, what happens next?"

"We have t'go t'court on Tuesday." He clung to Ennis and Ennis felt the shudder run through his body. "Anna said I might halfta hand Bobby over t'them after court, if the judge agrees with him. I can't do that, Ennis. I just can't," his voice disappeared into a sob.

Ennis hugged him tighter, if that was possible, and felt tears come to his own eyes. It was killing him to see Jack cry like this. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I'm so sorry. Shhh . . . it's gonna be alright."


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"So, are we still set for me pickin' the girls up on August 7?" Ennis asked.

"Yeah." He sensed hesitation in her voice.

"Is something wrong, Alma?"

"Not exactly."

"Sounds like there is."

"It's . . . I'm gettin' married."

"You are? Huh. Anyone I know?"

"You remember Monroe? From the grocery store?"

"O' course. Sure. He's a nice guy."

"He's real good with the girls."

"Does he make you happy, Alma?"

"Yeah, Ennis, he does." She sounded sincere.

"That's good. I'm glad."

"The wedding is August 6. I was wondering . . ." she hesitated again before continuing, "How would you like to keep the girls a little longer this time? An extra week, maybe? I know this is short notice. I'm sorry. It's okay if it won't work," she finished in a rush.

"No, of course not! I'd love t'keep 'em an extra week."

"I just thought, well, me an' Monroe are gonna go t'Denver fer a few days an' it would be nice t'have a few days t'ourselves, ya know, just startin' out an' all."

"Sure 'nough. I understand. I'm real happy fer ya, Alma. I still feel real bad, 'bout, well, you know, 'bout everything. I want ya t'be happy."

"Thank you, Ennis. We'll see you on the seventh, then."

"Okay. Can I talk to the girls again?"

"Oh, they went outside t'play. I can go get 'em."

"No, that's okay, let 'em play. I already talked to 'em. Just tell 'em I can't wait t'see them."

"Sure. Bye."

Ennis hung up the phone and just stood there, a smile on his face. A flower of joy bloomed in his heart. Two whole weeks with the girls! He jumped when he felt arms come around his waist and soft lips touched his neck.

"Mmm . . . you smell good."

"Ain't been out t'do any real work yet. I wanted t'talk t'the girls this morning. Talked to Alma, too." He felt another kiss on his neck. "She asked me if I minded keepin' them an extra week. That okay with you?"

"Ennis, you don' even have t'ask about something like that. How come she's lettin' them stay longer?"

"She's gettin' married."

"She is?"

"Yep. Marryin' a nice enough guy."

Jack nuzzled into his neck again. "You sure do smell good."

"Already said that, darlin'." Ennis took a deep breath. "Cain't say the same about you, though."

He felt Jack smile against his neck, "Yeah, that's 'cause I been workin', asshole, unlike someone else I know. I guess I am a bit rank, ain't I?"

Ennis turned to face him, put his arms around his neck. "I love the way you smell, even when you are all hot'n sweaty." His lips met Jack's in a kiss that started soft, but grew deeper and deeper. Their tongues danced together and they were lost in each other, until they heard someone clear their throat nearby. They broke apart guiltily and looked to see Anna standing at the door.

"Hi guys, sorry to interrupt. Kelly sent me up."

Jack smiled at her, while Ennis studied the floor. "Hey, Anna. I didn't expect to see you out here today."

"Obviously," she smirked at him. "How are you, Ennis?"

He looked up finally, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "I'm good. You?"

"Well, I may have to go take a cold shower after seeing that hot kiss," her grin grew as Ennis's cheeks burned, "but other than that, I'm fine."

Jack looked down, trying to hide the grin on his face.

"Enough of that. I have some stuff to go over with you. I hope you have a few minutes?"

"Yeah, sure. You care if I take a shower first?"

"No, go ahead."

"I'll be back in five minutes." Jack said and dashed out the door.

"How's he holding up?" Anna asked, sitting down in one of the chairs.

Ennis sighed and sat down by her. "He's tryin' not t'show it, but he's worried sick."

"I kinda figured that.. I told him I have the investigator looking into the Newsomes. You know, background checks, social services check, stuff like that.'

"I know and I know he's real grateful t'have you on his side, Anna." Ennis paused before asking, "Does Jack have a chance? A real chance?"

"There's always a chance, Ennis. I'm not giving up. Hell, we've hardly even gotten started." She smiled encouragingly. "When are your daughters coming back to visit?"

His whole face lit up with a smile. "Second week of August. Just talked t'their momma, in fact. She asked if I could keep 'em fer an extra week.

Her eyes widened. "I'm impressed, Ennis. To be honest, I'm kind of surprised she allows them to come and stay with you."

"You are?"

"I hate to say it, but yes. Look at what Jack is going through."

"It ain't the same. Jack is the only parent Bobby has left. Shouldn't halfta fight at all."

"I know, but the reality is some people think being gay is a disease or something and think gay people shouldn't be around children. They think it'll rub off or that we'll molest them." She saw Ennis cringe, almost imperceptively, each time she used the word 'gay'. "You're lucky your ex-wife doesn't feel that way."

"Well, might be she does feel that a little, but we've known each other since we were kids. She knows me." He narrowed his eyes. "Doesn't sound t'me like you think Jack's gonna have a chance in hell of winning."

"No, I wouldn't say that. Not everyone feels the way I described, thank goodness. I didn't even say that your wife would win a court battle if she tried to keep the girls from you. I just think you're lucky you don't even have to take that route. It gives me hope for the future. There's always hope, Ennis." She smiled at him, then said, "I'm curious. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he said hesitantly.

"Do you think of yourself as a gay man?"

He looked away and shook his head, "No." Then he looked down, studying his hands and said quietly, "Least ways I didn't. Just thought this thing with Jack was just fer him, ya know? Deep down, though, I know it's more than that. Always has been," he added quietly. "But I thought it was only me that felt that way–like a freak."

Anna leaned forward and put her hands on his. "Ennis, you don't have to be ashamed. You're not a freak. And you're definitely not alone."

"I'm beginnin' t'see that." He looked up into her eyes, "Don't make things any easier, though." He looked away again, out the window. "Almost makes things harder."

Anna squeezed his hands and released them. They were quiet until Jack came back, his hair combed, but still wet, bringing the fresh smell of Zest soap and a bright smile with him.

* * *

Tyler looked around, from his seat on the sagging couch, at the trash littering the floor. There were beer cans and bottles all over and it looked like it hadn't been swept since he'd left. He got a garbage bag out from under the sink, which was overflowing with dirty dishes. He cleaned up, then put on a pot of coffee while he started the dishes. He was just putting the last one away when an older man shuffled into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"Want some coffee?" Tyler asked. No answer, but he caught the brief nod. He poured a cup, set in front of his dad, and sat down across from him. "I made some stew. It'll be ready in a bit." No answer. "Where's Steve?"

"Took off. Said something about heading to the cities and maybe South Dakota."

"Is he gonna be gone for a while?" His dad shrugged. Tyler got up and stirred the stew, standing at the stove much longer than he needed to. When he sat down, he put his hand on the table, almost reaching for his dad. "Dad, it's so hard for me to see you like this. I want to help, but I don't know what to do."

Russell took another drink of coffee, not meeting his sons eyes.

"Dad, please."

"Tyler, what do you what me to say?" he asked in a rough voice. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket and lit one. "It's hard for me to see you, too. The life you have chosen."

"Dad, we've talked about this. I didn't choose to be this way. It's just the way I am."

"And these guys you work for, what's going on there?"

"Ennis and Jack are nice, decent guys."

"But they're like you," Russell met his son's eyes stonily.

"Yes, that's true."

The room filled with silence again.

Tyler got them each a bowl of stew and they ate in the silence that was threatening to drown him. When they finished, he asked, "Is it okay if I move back in?"

"Those guys kick you out?"

"No, they said I could stay as long as I need to. I feel like I'm taking advantage, though, and I don't like feeling like that."

His dad didn't say anything for a while. Tyler watched him, a lump in his throat. This man seated before him bore no resemblance to the father Tyler remembered from his childhood. He was small and frail looking. The hand that held the cigarette shook as he raised it to his mouth and when his mouth opened, it was clear that he was missing some teeth. His hair was shaggy and in need of brushing. The t-shirt he wore was old, dirty, and had several holes in it. Tyler thought back to a time when he was a child. His dad was tall and strong, with long, shiny hair that he kept in a neat braid, much like Tyler did now. He walked tall and proud, like a warrior. This broken man did not look like a warrior. Tyler dropped his eyes as the pain overwhelmed him.

"You can come back home," Russell said.

* * *

Jack looked in the mirror as he ran a comb through his wet hair. A spot in front was sticking up a weird angle and he couldn't get it to lay down. He finally gave up and went into the bedroom. Ennis was sitting on the edge of the bed putting his socks on. "You 'bout ready?"

Ennis stood up. "Yeah, You think this is a nice enough shirt?"

Jack put his arms around Ennis. "I love this shirt on ya." He reached up and smoothed the collar, then ran his hands down the front of the shirt.

"Yeah?"

Jack kissed him softly. "Yeah."

"Is Janie meeting us there?" Ennis asked as they went down the stairs.

Jack nodded.

Ennis insisted on driving, afraid Jack would get in an accident in his current state. He was trying to cover his nerves, but Ennis could see he was close to losing it. They were almost to the courthouse when he asked."You okay, Jack?"

"No. I'm fuckin' scared t'death."

"I'm sorry, darlin'. I wish I could make it all go away fer ya."

"I know ya do, Ennis."

Anna was waiting for them at the top of the stairs. "Is Janie here yet?" Jack asked her.

"No, not yet."

"What if she don't show up?"

"Then we'll go on without her. Try to relax, Jack. You look like you're going to throw up."

"That's funny, 'cause that's exactly how I feel right now." His attempt at a grin looked more like a grimace.

"Come on, you guys go wait in the conference room before they get here. I'll try to talk to their attorney again and see if we can't settle this."

In the conference room, Ennis sat in a chair while Jack paced around the tiny room like a big cat in a little cage. A few minutes later, Anna opened the door. "They're here and they aren't budging. They're trying to use your homosexuality against you."

"Fuck. Goddammit!"

"Jack, calm down."

"Sorry." He scrubbed his hands down his face and Ennis saw as his features crumpled and the tears started. Without thinking about it, he stood and took Jack in his arms. Jack's sobs filled the room for a moment, then died off.

Ennis was still holding him when the door opened and Janie stepped inside. She stopped, then looked to Anna. "Come on in. I'm glad you made it."

"Has something happened? Did I miss the hearing?" Janie asked.

"No." Anna shook her head.

Jack sniffed and wiped his nose on the kleenex Anna handed him. He sat down, with Ennis next to him, an arm still across his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"Jack, you don't have to apologize," Anna said.

Ennis drew him close and said gently, "You got a right t'cry Jack. No one in this room thinks less of ya fer it."

Janie wiped away the tear that had made its way down her cheek.

"Let me go see if they're ready. You okay to get started, Jack?" Anna asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine now."

"Thanks for coming, Janie. I know you didn't halfta."

"I want to do whatever I can to help you," she replied, just as Anna stuck her head in the door.

"Come on, they're ready for us."

L.D. and Rick Lawson were in the courtroom already, but Faye was not there. Jack raised his eyebrows at Anna, who whispered, "I asked. She's at the hotel with Bobby." Jack had been wondering what they were going to do with Bobby during the hearing. This was the week the judge had allowed Faye and L.D. to have a visit with him.

Court was called to session and after they stated their appearances Judge Lundeen asked, "Mr. Lawson, I see you've filed a motion for a change of temporary custody until the custody hearing. What's changed since we were in court less than two weeks ago?"

"Your honor, it has come to my client's attention that the child is residing in a household that puts him at risk. Mr. Twist is a homosexual and lives with another man. In fact, that man is here in court with him." Rick turned to Ennis and fixed him with a sneer.

"Is this true, Ms. Grant?"

Anna hesitated and took a deep breath before answering. "Your honor, it is true that Mr. Twist lives with another man, who is indeed here in court today. But, your honor, in no way does this put the child at risk. Mr. Twist loves his son very much and would never do anything to hurt or harm him. Mr. Lawson is trying to prejudice the court against my client by bringing this frivolous motion before the court."

The judge shuffled through his papers before looking up. "Ms. Peterson, what brings you here today? Are you involved in this case?"

"I object, your honor," Rick said, standing up.

"Objection noted," he nodded at Rick, then continued, looking at Janie, "Ms. Peterson, are you involved in this case?"

"Our agency was called by an anonymous caller a few weeks ago. The caller expressed concerns about the child living with Jack and Ennis, because of their, well, because they were living together. I was sent to investigate and found no concerns. My supervisor has asked me to stay involved, so I've visited their home several times in the past few weeks. I haven't seen anything that would qualify as child protection concerns, your honor."

"So, you've been to the house and talked to the child?"

"Yes, your honor."

"And you have no concerns?"

"No, sir."

"Ms. Peterson, even though you aren't involved, is it possible for you to do a more thorough investigation and provide a written report to the court prior to the pre-trial hearing on September 13?"

"I'll have to check with my supervisor, but I'm sure he'll allow it, sir."

"Thank you." He looked at Rick. "Social services has been involved in this case for some weeks and has no concerns. Therefore, I'm going to deny your motion. The child will remain with his father until the scheduled hearing, where custody will be determined."

"But, your honor! How do we know this girl is telling the truth?"

"Because you are new here, I'll give you a pass on your outburst. Once. I have seen Ms. Peterson in my courtroom on numerous occasions. She has been nothing but professional. I trust her judgement. If there's nothing else?"

"Ya mean he's gonna let my grandson stay with those fuckin' queers?" L.D. asked in a loud whisper. "What the hell kinda court is this?"

Judge Lundeen directed a sharp look at Rick. "Mr. Lawson, please advise your client that he should refrain from making outbursts in my courtroom."

"Yes, your honor."

"If there's nothing else, this hearing is adjourned." The judge stood and left the room.

L.D. stormed out of the courtroom, followed by Rick. Jack looked at Anna, his blue eyes bigger than normal. "That's it? He didn't take Bobby away. I kinda lost all hope of keeping him. I thought he'd take 'im away, for sure."

"Jack, I told Ennis the other day that there's always hope. Remember that."

* * *

Ennis lay awake long after Jack had fallen asleep. He had a sense of uneasiness that he couldn't shake. There were too many things happening to him all at once. He wanted to slow things down, take a step back, and catch his breath. He thought of Tyler and how being down at the lake brought him peace. _Maybe that'd work fer me, _he thought.

He made his way to the lake, stepped through the trees and stopped. There was no movement this night, no voice in the darkness. On the dock, he laid down and looked up at the stars. _So many . . .star light, star bright, all the stars I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might . . .get ahold of yerself, Ennis._ He drifted for a while.

Ennis stirred and opened his eyes. _Shit, fell asleep. Couldn't'ave been long. _He sat up and became still, sensing a presence behind him, sitting on the other end of the dock. He quickly realized it was Tyler.

"I'm moving back home, Ennis. My brother left. I talked t'my dad about it."

"Okay."

"I appreciate you and Jack letting me stay here."

"You're welcome anytime. I hope you know that."

"Sure."

"What are you doing out here?" Tyler asked.

"Followin' yer example an' lookin' fer some peace. Too many thoughts in my head. Like a storm in here."

"Yeah, I understand." Ennis felt the sadness in his voice, all the way through to his heart.

"Things seem . . .things aren't easy at yer house, are they?"

Tyler didn't say anything right away and Ennis was beginning to regret saying anything at all, when Tyler started talking. "My mom died when I was young. My dad never got over it. I think something in him died at the same time. Things got even worse when my little brother died last year. Dad really started drinking in earnest." He stopped, fighting for control, "I think it's going to kill him." He paused. "And then there's _me_. He hates me for being the way I am. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, he can't get past it. He lets me live with him because I take care of him, but he barely talks to me, barely looks at me." He put his head down on his knees. "I can't take it and I can't leave it." His voice was filled with despair and sorrow.

Ennis crawled forward and put his arm around Tyler's shoulder and pulled him close. Tyler became still, as if afraid to move.

"Things will get better, Tyler."

"I don't think so," Tyler whispered.

Ennis stroked his head, brushing the long hair away from Tyler's face. "It will." His fingers brushed Tyler's cheek. "I know how ya feel. I was there myself, not that long ago. You're young, Tyler. Ya got years an' years ahead of ya. Things'll get better."

Tyler leaned into Ennis, then put his arms around him. Having tasted the feel of comfort, he wanted more. Needed more. He clung to Ennis, his face nuzzled into his neck, and drew a shuddering breath. Ennis sensed his need and held him for a long time.

Tyler finally pulled away and looked up at Ennis, his eyes dark and deep. Ennis lost himself in those eyes before he sensed the change; the air was too thick and full of energy. He pulled back, his skin burning everywhere that his body touched Tyler's. They broke apart and Ennis stood up, too fast, his head started spinning. He stumbled back to the house and smoked three cigarettes before he felt calm enough to go back to bed, where he fell into a restless sleep.


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Ennis woke up after his restless night, feeling like he'd been run over by a truck. He rolled over into the middle of the bed. Jack had already gotten up, apparently. Ennis lay there for a while, thinking; when he finally pulled back the blanket and got out of bed, he had a secret smile on his face. He went in the bathroom, turned on the water, and stepped under the spray, still lost in his thoughts. He stood under the water, looking up, letting it wash over his face, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt arms go around his waist.

"Jesus Christ, Jack! You take years offa my life when ya startle me like that!" he exclaimed, turning around to face him.

"I can't help it that you're always so deep in thought lately." Jack took the soap and worked up a lather. "Turn back around, I'll wash yer back."

Ennis obliged him, putting his hands against the wall and resting there. Jack's hands slipped all over his back and then went lower as he stepped closer. His hands slid in front and he ran them over the flat planes of Ennis's stomach, then up to his chest and shoulders and back down. Ennis put his hands over Jack's as they moved over his body. Jack leaned forward and rained kisses down his spine. Each place his lips touched felt like cold fire to Ennis.

Jack stood up and was flush against his back. Ennis could feel the hardening of his erection nudging up to him, between his legs, and felt his own cock stiffen. He turned and pulled Jack to him, closing his eyes against the water pouring over their faces. He tasted Jack and water as they slid together, bodies silky with soap. His eyes closed against the water, he could only feel and taste Jack. Everything about him felt familiar and yet, not. The taste of Jack was diluted by the water, which made him want to taste more. His tongue scraped against Jack's; his arms strained to pull him closer, their thighs were pressed together, muscles flexing, and where their abdomens met, it felt fluttery and hot.

Suddenly, he needed Jack. The need to be inside him was so strong he almost fell to his knees. He broke the kiss and turned Jack around. Jack braced himself against the shower wall with one hand and reached back for Ennis with the other. Just as suddenly as the other feeling, Ennis felt a reverence come over him. He pushed in, exquisitely slow, his arms around Jack and pulling him close. He felt Jack's warmth surround him and felt like he was home. Jack's name on his lips, so soft, so desperate, sounded like the beating of an angel's heart. He took Jack's hardness into his hand, leaned close enough to put his cheek to Jack's back. Jack arched into him and they moved together, as one being. They came together, with soft whispers. Jack turned around and Ennis took him in his arms and kissed his lidded eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and finally, those perfect lips, which parted for his tongue. He tasted, for just a moment, before pulling away and turning off the water.

Ennis took Jack's hand and led him to the bed, where they fell in, still damp, their bodies pressed close, their arms around each other, and their legs tangled together. They dozed languidly for a few minutes.

More awake, Ennis kissed Jack, slow and deep, nibbled on his bottom lip, before pulling back, "Where is ever'body?"

"Kelly went grocery shopping and the guys are out fixin' the north fence where that tree fell on it. They'll be gone fer a while."

"Ya didn't go with 'em?"

"Nope, I had plans." He grinned and leaned in for another deep kiss.

"Mmm . . . I was layin' in bed thinkin' o' plans o' my own."

"Yeah?"

"Uh huh." Ennis kissed his mouth, under his jaw, up to his ear, where he whispered, "Figured we'd be the only ones here t'night. Should take advantage of it."

Jack smiled and arched his neck for Ennis to continue kissing, "Seems like we got a good head start on it."

"Mmhmm . . ." Ennis was kissing his way down Jack's body, stopping every few inches to suck and lick. He got to his belly button and licked a circle around it.

"God, Ennis . . ."

"Want me t'stop?"

"Nooo . . .don't . . . stop. Aahhh . . ." his hips bucked as Ennis's tongue flicked out to touch the tip of his cock. He took the head in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, sucking gently. He looked up and met Jack's eyes as he took the entire length in his mouth. Jack's eyes rolled back in his head as another moan escaped him. Ennis pulled his mouth off, then licked from the root to the tip, then did the same thing on each side. His own cock was aching, feeling Jack squirm under him, driving him crazy with the noises he made. He took Jack's length in his mouth again and felt him arch under him. He licked and sucked and explored with his tongue, reveling in Jack's reaction.

"Ennis . . . Ennis . . . god . . . I can't, don't stop, oh god . . ." his hips bucked and he let go; Ennis took it all in, then rested his head on Jack's stomach while Jack caught his breath.

"Come'ere," Jack said, reaching for him. He crawled back up until his head was next to Jack's. Jack turned toward him and met his lips as he put his hand down and took hold, starting a gentle stroking. Ennis met his lips fiercely, his hands tangled in Jack's hair, he pushed into Jack's hand, gently, at first, then more urgently. He came with a shudder a few moments later, unable to hold out very long.

They lay in bed, spent and dozing again, before Jack propped himself on one arm and looked down into Ennis's eyes. "I love you," he said, running his fingers through Ennis's curls.

Ennis lost himself in the blue. He reached up and touched Jack's cheek. "I love you, too, darlin'."

* * *

"Hello, little mother."

Alice opened the door and smiled at Tyler and his use of the nickname he'd given her long ago. He dipped down and put one arm around her in a gentle hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Is Kelly home?"

"No, she went to a movie with Janie Peterson."

Tyler sat down at the table and Alice perched on the edge of her chair across from him. "What brings you by tonight?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"Sounds serious. Serious talk needs tea to go with it." She put some water in the kettle and got out a ceramic teapot, put some leaves in it, and set two mugs next to it, then put some cookies on a plate and brought it to the table. "How's your dad?"

"Oh, you know," he looked away. "Steve left, so dad said I could move back in. I wish there was something I could do to help him, but he won't let me. Sometimes I think I make it worse by being there with him. It hurts him, being around me, because of . . ." he trailed off, but she understood.

"Tyler, your dad may not be able to admit it, but he loves you. He needs you to take care of him, until he can take care of himself again. Some of that hurt he feels is his own guilt, for not being a better father and for keeping you from going to college. He needs to let it go."

"I don't think that's ever going to happen."

She put her hand on top of his. "Don't say that. You never know what the future will bring. Know what else?" He looked at her, a question in his eyes. "Your dad is proud of you. He still talks about how smart you are and how hard you work. I really believe part of his hurt comes from guilt. He knows you should have gone to college and would have, if it weren't for him. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be best for him if you just went. Just left to go to college. For yourself and your dad."

"Alice, I can't leave him like he is now."

"Do you still want to go to college?"

"Yes. You know I do. I still want to become an attorney. I want to help my people."

"I know you do, honey. Maybe you should tell your dad that. He thinks you've given up on that dream."

"I did. I don't know how it will ever work out."

"It won't, with that attitude. You keep that dream alive and make sure to tell your dad about it."

"All right," he agreed, unsure about it, but unable to deny her.

"Tea's ready," she said, as the teakettle started to whistle. She filled the teapot and put the cover on to let it steep.

"Now, I don't think you came here to talk about your dad and college. What else is going on, Tyler?"

He didn't answer at first and when he finally did, he didn't meet her eyes. "Have you ever been in love? I mean, with someone you couldn't have?" he asked, his voice soft.

Alice stood and poured their tea. "It's mint, from my garden. Do you want some honey for it?" He shook his head. She put a dollop of honey in her tea and stirred slowly. "I haven't been in love for a long time, Tyler, but I remember the feeling. There's nothing like it." She looked at him closely, her intuition strong, "Is it one of those boys that run the farm?"

"Yes," he said softly. "Ennis."

"Does he know how you feel? Does he have feelings for you?"

"Maybe, I don't know. Once, I thought I saw something, in his eyes, but I'm not sure. We talked a little. He said whatever we got between us we have to put aside. But we never even talked about _what_ was between us." He put his head in his hands. "Alice, I don't know what to do." He lowered his hands. "I should quit working for them, but I love the farm, I love working there. James was almost like a father to me. I don't want to leave it."

"You're gonna have to put this thing with Ennis in the back of your mind, then. Can you do that?"

He stared at his mug for a long time, as if looking for answers in the tea or the blue onion pattern on the mug. Finally, he looked up and met her eyes. "He asked me almost the same thing. Yes, I think I can. I'm going to try."

"I guess that's all you can do, then, besides leaving. Have you thought about talking to Ennis some more?"

"No, I guess not. I figured we were all done talking about it."

"Maybe you should try that. Just get it all out and then go on from there."

He looked up, his eyes miserable. "What if it makes things worse?"

"Honey, do you think you could feel any worse than you do now?"

"I don't know . . ."

"Think about it." Alice filled their mugs again and they sat in the silence for a while before she asked, "Does Kelly know any of this?"

"I don't think so, why?"

"I don't think she wants to give up hope that someday you'll fall in love with her," Alice smiled gently.

"I wish I could. It would make everything so much easier and she'd be happy. You know I love her, but not in the way she wants me to. She's like a little sister."

"I know you do." She patted his hand. "So does she, in her heart."

"I should go." Tyler stood up and drew her into a hug. "Thank you, little mother. I love you, too, you know."

She laughed softly. "I know you do, honey. And I love you. Come back again soon. Maybe bring your dad next time." She watched him get in his car and drive away, her heart aching for him.

* * *

Jack walked into the barn and Ennis knew something was wrong. He latched Brownie's gate and started towards Jack.

"Ennis, I gotta fly t'Texas. My house finally sold an' I gotta sign the paperwork. If I go now, I c'n be back before Bobby comes home an' afore ya leave t'pick up the girls."

Ennis let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Ya scared me, there, bud. Thought something serious happened."

Jack smiled, "It is serious! I don' wanna go down there, but it'll be a relief to have it all taken care of and done. 'Sides, the money'll come in handy. I was thinkin' we should get a car or one o' those trucks with the back seat. You know, fer when the girls are here, so we can all ride t'gether if'n we wanna go somewhere."

Ennis thought for a minute. "That is a good idea, Jack. But, it's your money, so it's up t'you."

"No, it ain't my money. It's _ours_, just like the farm, and ever'thing else."

"When ya leavin'?"

"In just a few minutes. Already started packing. Got a flight from Duluth."

"You want me t'drive ya?"

"No, I'll just take my truck an' leave it there. Gonna be back early Saturday morning."

They walked back to the house together. In their bedroom, Ennis saw that Jack had a small suitcase out, with some clothes in it. Jack was in the bathroom getting his toothbrush and razor, which he added into the suitcase. Ennis reached for his hand and pulled him close. "I'm gonna miss you, darlin'." His lips met Jack's gently.

"Mmm . . . me too." Jack said, before kissing him again.

"You be careful while yer there."

"I will." He chuckled low. "Works out jus' perfect that L.D. is here in Minnesota when I halfta go down there. I was afraid he might try somethin' when I had ta go down an' take care o' the house."

"He could still try somethin'. I sure don't trust him."

"Me neither, but I don't think he'll do anything now, while he's fightin' me in court."

"I hope yer right, Jack."

Jack kissed him again, then closed his suitcase and they went out to the truck. Ennis watched him leave, overwhelmed by a feeling of unease.

* * *

The wind blew and Janie felt the motion move through her. This was her favorite spot in the whole house, here on the porch in the wooden swing that was lined with a comfy cushion and pillows. The house she rented in Goosedown was small, but it was in a nice, quiet neighborhood, and the house was cozy. She was curled up on the swing, reading a book and was just about dozing off when she heard the roar of a motorcycle in front of her house. She sat up and saw a red, black, and chrome Yamaha motorcycle parked there, with a man in a helmet, worn jeans, and a black leather jacket on it. She set her book down, cautious, but curious. When the helmet came off, blonde curls spilled out from underneath it and the smile that met her was filled with joy and mischief. Janie squealed and leapt down the steps and into his arms.

"Beau! You came! Why didn't you call me and tell me you were coming?"

"And miss this sight–you so full of joy and happiness? No way." He pulled her close and said softly, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"Well, come on, tell me how you are," she tugged his hand and pulled him up the steps.

"I hope you were serious when you offered to let me stay with you."

"Of course I was!"

"I'm hoping to find a job. Doesn't have to be anything great, just something to get by."

"You don't have to worry about that tonight."

"How are mom and dad?"

His face clouded the tiniest bit. "Oh, you know, same as always."

"Dad still trying to get you to join the army?"

"I think he takes it as some kind of personal insult that I missed the draft for Vietnam. He's just plain pissed that I haven't signed up. I'm sick of fighting with him."

Janie got them each a bottle of pepsi from the refrigerator and popped the tops off. "Are you hungry? Want me to make you a sandwich or something?"

"Sure."

She made his favorite sandwich, bologna, cheese, mayonnaise, and lettuce, while he told her about his trip from California to Minnesota. She was both surprised and not surprised to see him. Beau was her older brother, by a year, and her best friend. Their father was a military man and they moved a lot. All those moves brought brother and sister closer together, especially when it became clear that Beau was not going to follow in their father's footsteps. He was a free spirit, an artist, and had a sensitive nature that their father did not approve of.

Beau finished his sandwich and got his overstuffed saddlebags from the bike. Janie settled him into the second bedroom in the house and wished him a good night, her heart happy that he was here with her.


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

_Friday, August 6, 1976_

Ennis yawned so hard he thought his face would crack into two pieces. He took another drink of coffee as his thoughts returned to Jack. He'd felt sick and uneasy having to leave to pick up Junior and Franny while Jack was still in Texas. If Jack's flight was late or something and he didn't make it back to pick Bobby up from L.D. and Faye, he was going to feel even worse. _Not that L.D. would leave Bobby with me anyway, so might as well stop worryin' about it,_ he concluded, yawning again.

His thoughts drifted aimlessly before settling in to gnaw at him about James. _My father. My real father. _Ennis couldn't wrap his mind around it. _Why'd he leave me? Why didn't he come and find me?_ He hadn't had time to think about what it all meant and he wasn't sure he had the energy to do it now. Thoughts of James led his mind to thoughts of Tyler. _He knew my dad. Knew him for a long time. I c'n tell they were close. _Tyler was like a touchstone to something he couldn't ever get back–couldn't ever have. _Ain't fair he got t'know 'im an' I never did. _He couldn't blame Tyler, though, _not his fault._ _He's like me, though, maybe the reason James liked 'im so much. Maybe why I like 'im so much, _he thought, then pushed it away hastily, followed by, _I ain't gay, no matter what anyone says. Just 'cause I love Jack don't make me gay. Does it? _His attraction to Tyler, on all levels, was pummeled down and hidden. _I can't deal with that right now, either. Turnin' inta fuckin' Scarlett O'Hara. Won't think about it now, I'll think about it tomorrow. _Why he remembered that, he had no idea. He had felt sorry for Scarlett, though, pining all those years for Ashley Wilkes when she could've had a real life with Rhett Butler. He shook his head, wonderin' why the hell he was analyzing 'Gone With the Wind'. His watch said 3:19 when he pulled into the parking lot of a small motel in Riverton. He intended to grab a few hours sleep before picking up the girls.

* * *

"Congratulations, Alma, Monroe," Ennis said.

"Thanks, Ennis. Here girls, let me help you with your bags," Monroe said, following them out to the truck.

"Thanks again, Alma, for letting me take them for an extra week."

"Yer welcome."

"I'll bring 'em back on the twenty-first. I hope you an' Monroe have a good time."

She smiled shyly, "I'm sure we will."

"I know I already told ya, Alma, but I really want ya t'be happy."

"I know. Ennis," she looked into his eyes, "I want you t'be happy, too. The girls told me they had a real good time in June an' they said you seemed real happy."

"Thanks, Alma, that means a lot t'me." He wiped at his eyes, dismissing their dampness as dust motes floating in the air, and strode out the door, "Come on, girls, let's get on the road."

"Not without a hug fer yer momma," Alma said from behind him. The girls went back for hugs and Ennis noticed that Junior was almost as big as her momma. His little girl was growing up. _More damn dust motes._

_

* * *

_

Sunday afternoon Ennis pulled in the driveway and stopped in front of the garage. He could see Jack on Pepper, the horse he usually rode for farm work, and he didn't look happy. Jack rode over to the truck and tied Pepper to the porch rail, then put on a smile.

"Hi, girls, how was the trip?"

"Long," Franny replied, hopping out of the truck and running around it to throw her arms around Jack. "Where's Bobby?"

Jack hugged her back, before replying, "Well, Bobby's in a bit of trouble, so he's up in his room. You can go say hi, if ya want, though. Hi, Junior."

Junior had hung back, but replied to Jack, "Hi."

"Honey, why don't ya take yer bags in and find a snack for you girls. I know yer prob'ly hungry. I wanna talk t'Jack fer a minute."

Junior wasn't even in the house before they moved towards the garage. Once inside, Ennis pulled Jack into his arms and kissed him, long and sweet. Foreheads together, breathing hard, a whispered _I missed you _was exchanged.

"What's goin' on?"

"Bobby left the gate t'the paddock open an' a couple of the mares escaped. Tyler already went t'look fer 'em and that's where I was headed, but . . ."

"You were waitin' fer me?"

Jack leaned in and kissed him again, "I haven't seen ya in four days. O'course I was waitin' fer ya. I missed you." He leaned in for another long kiss.

"Let me get the girls settled and I'll saddle up."

"Ennis, you don't have to. You been on the road fer three days. Ya oughta just rest."

"I'm fine, Jack. What about the kids, though?"

"Kelly's here. I called her when I called Tyler t'come over an' help. Wasn't sure when you were gonna get here."

A few minutes later, he and Jack separated at the woods after Jack pointed out where Tyler had gone in. Ennis picked his way through the trees and brush carefully. There was an ominous stillness in the air that he didn't like and the light had a dull murkiness to it. He didn't realize how much time had gone by, when the light suddenly faded to shadow and the sky opened up. The downpour shocked him and Jojo and he turned to go back to the farm, cursing the rain and the mares, but not going so far as to curse Bobby, who was, after all, just a kid.

Jojo spooked at something and took off and by the time he got him under control, he realized he'd gotten turned around. He plodded on and was surprised to see a building rise up in front of his eyes. Through the downpour, he could see that it was a small, ramshackle cabin. In his current state, however, it looked like a castle. He tied Jojo to a tree where he was relatively protected from the rain and went inside. There were a couple of old wooden chairs, a table, and a couple of cot frames with rotting canvas on them. The small window didn't have any glass in it, but the wind wasn't blowing the rain in it, so he sat close to it, intending to keep an eye out for the horses.

In spite of the coldness seeping into his muscles, he must have dozed off in his chair. He thought his eyes were closed for only a moment, but when they opened, Tyler was sitting next to him on the other chair.

Ennis cleared his throat and Tyler looked over at him. "Hey. Guess we had the same idea for getting out of the rain."

"Yeah. I didn't know this was here." He looked away sheepishly. "Guess I was more tired from the trip than I thought."

Tyler shrugged, needing no explanation. "This is an old hunting cabin. No one uses it anymore, but it's a good place to shelter from the rain."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the rain.

"How're things at home? With yer dad, I mean?"

Tyler looked down at his hands, "All right, I guess. We kinda just leave each other alone."

Ennis hesitated before asking, "Tyler, how well did you know my uncle . . . my dad, I guess."

"Pretty good, I suppose. I've worked here a few years and he was always good to me. Understood about my family and stuff. He was a good listener."

Ennis chuckled. "You talk enough fer him t'listen good? We cain't hardly get two words outta ya."

Tyler flushed, "Yeah, well, I talk when I want to." A smile lurked around his mouth as he glanced at Ennis.

Ennis turned serious again. "Tyler, d'you know why he never tried t'contact me? I mean, I knew him when I was a little kid, but my parents died when I was twelve. Seems t'me he coulda found me then, brought me here."

"Ennis, I'm so sorry. I don't know why he never contacted you. I think he wanted to, I really do. I think he felt a lot of guilt and shame and it stopped him from taking the steps he needed to."

"Sounds familiar," Ennis said softly.

They were lost in their own thoughts for some time. Tyler broke it, asking, "Has Kelly offered to read your palm yet?"

"What? What're you talkin' about?"

"Kelly went through this palm reading stage, not that long ago. I thought maybe she'd offered to read yours and Jacks."

Ennis chuckled. "No, she hasn't."

"She probably didn't want you to think she was weird."

"It's probably good she didn't offer. I prob'ly would've thought it was weird if I didn't know her very well. Has she read yours?"

"Of course," he smiled.

"What'd she say?"

"She said I have a weird line on my hand. Or rather, I have one line where I should have two–a head line and a heart line. A simian line, she called it. Let me see your hand."

"What does that mean?" Ennis asked, holding out his hand.

"See, you have two lines that start on opposite sides and curve away from each other." Tyler traced the lines on Ennis's hand, then held out his left hand and pointed to a strong line that ran across his entire palm. "I only have one. According to Kelly, it means that I can't separate my head from my heart." Ennis traced the line with his finger as Tyler added softly, "I could've told her that."

Ennis looked up into Tyler's eyes for a heartbeat, then they both looked away. "Silly mumbo-jumbo." Ennis said.

"Yeah."

Ennis realized he was still holding Tyler's hand and looked back at him, the humor gone. Ennis raised his other hand and brought it to Tyler's cheek, resting it there before running his thumb across his lips, soft as a kiss. Tyler's eyes closed and his hand tightened on Ennis's.

Ennis felt like he was swimming in a dream-world. He could see his hand on Tyler's cheek, but couldn't comprehend what it meant. He could feel a fluttering of desire deep in his abdomen, but it felt foreign and strange, different and yet similar to what he felt with Jack. He licked his lips and watched as Tyler mimicked the gesture, opening his eyes and meeting Ennis's, his desire naked in the nighttime of his eyes. They stood up together, their bodies almost touching, still joined by their clasped hand and Ennis's hand on Tyler's cheek. He moved his thumb again over Tyler's lips and this time Tyler kissed it as it moved over them. Ennis closed his eyes, afraid to move. He was sure Tyler must hear his heart, slamming against his chest, threatening to bust out. He licked his lips again, wanting to lean forward and touch, with his lips, where his thumb had been. His head was swimming in confusion and desire.

Tyler swallowed hard and they moved together at the same instant. Their bodies didn't touch, but their lips tasted forbidden fruit. Tyler's lips parted and he probed forward with his tongue, tracing Ennis's lips. Ennis opened his mouth and tasted Tyler's tongue as it feathered in. He tasted like sweet, dark water and Ennis wanted more. His tongue explored Tyler's mouth, slow and deliberately.

Tyler's hand came up and grasped Ennis's bicep. Ennis wasn't sure if he meant to pull him forward or push him away, but in that instant, one of the horses whinnied outside and the combined motion and noise worked to bring Ennis out of his stupor. He stepped back quickly, bringing his hands up in front of him.

"Tyler, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize."

"We should go. The rain is letting up." Ennis thought he may very well be having a heart attack.

"Yeah."

Tyler knew his way back to the farm, so Ennis followed him, huddled in his jacket. He was chilled and couldn't get warm. Misery seeped over him in a blanket of shame. The guilt for betraying Jack was almost killing him and what little dignity he had left was eaten away by the inner realization that no matter what he said, _he was gay_. He couldn't hide it from himself anymore. Why else would he desire not only Jack, but another man. And both had understood and reacted to his desire. His thoughts circled around–he was ashamed for being ashamed of being gay. By the time they reached the farm, he was shivering, lightheaded, and confused.

Tyler knew something was wrong when he stumbled in dismounting from Jojo. "Ennis, are you all right?"

"Yeah, 'm fine. Jus' can't get warm."

"Why don't you go in? I'll take care of Jojo."

Ennis started to argue, but his lips were chattering so hard he could barely get the words out.

"Go ahead, it won't take me but a few minutes to take care of both horses." Tyler pushed him gently towards the door. "Please, Ennis."

Ennis moved toward the door and didn't look back. Inside the house, he took off his boots and jacket. Jack met him at the kitchen door. "Hey, bud, I was startin' t'get worried."

"Got caught in the rain. Had to take shelter. Can't get warm."

"Ya musta caught a chill. Go take a warm shower. We was jus' settin' the table fer supper."

"You guys go ahead an' eat. I'll have somethin' when I'm done in the shower."

"You sure?" Jack asked, a frown crossing his face.

"O' course. I'm sure the kids're hungry."

Jack leaned in and kissed his cheek. "All right, cowboy. Let me know if ya need anything."

Ennis looked down, his cheek burning where Jack had kissed it. It was the only warm spot on his body.

He stripped and stepped under the warm spray of the shower. It wasn't warm enough, so he turned the hot water on all the way. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the shower wall. Ennis didn't know when the tears started, but his throat closed as the sobs escaped. When the water turned cooler and he started shivering again, he turned it off and dried off, still chilled, and decided to crawl into bed, pulling an extra blanket on himself. He was vaguely aware of Jack getting in bed with him a few hours later, finally warming up when Jack curled around him. Towards morning, he woke up, drenched in sweat, the blankets constricting him. He kicked them off and his eyes fluttered closed again.

* * *

Jack went downstairs early the next morning. He hadn't slept well. Ennis had tossed and turned most of the night, finally settling down a couple of hours ago. Unfortunately, he couldn't get back to sleep.

Tyler was seated at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him.

Jack smiled, "I thought I smelled coffee." He poured himself a cup and sat down with Tyler.

"Jack, I . . . I came to tell you that I need to quit. I think I need to look for another job."

"What are you talking about Tyler?"

"I just feel like I need to move on."

"Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

Tyler couldn't bring himself to tell Jack about what had happened. He was being a coward and he knew it, but still couldn't choke the words out.

"Well, could you at least give us a few days? Maybe think about it? In the first place, Ennis is sick. He caught a chill or something yesterday and I don't think he's gonna be much use fer a few days. And 'sides, we cain't hardly get along without ya. Not only that, but we really need someone, someone experienced, fer the next coupla weeks while Junior and Franny are here. Ennis'll wanna spend as much time as possible with them."

"Okay, I guess I can stay for a while," Tyler agreed.

Jack's eyes narrowed, an inkling of comprehension niggling into his brain. He stood and picked up his cup. "I'm gonna go check on Ennis. I don't know when I'll be out t'day, but I trust you t'take care of everything, Tyler."

Tyler nodded, not meeting his eyes. He took his cup to the sink and went out the door. Jack scrubbed his free hand down his face. "Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit."

"Why don't you two walk down and get the mail for your daddy?" Kelly asked Franny and Bobby, who had been under her feet all day. She'd reminded them several times to be quiet while Ennis slept. They were good for a while, but inevitably, they started giggling or arguing or wrestling and the peace was once again disturbed.

"So, what'd'ya do with yer grandparents?" Franny asked.

"Went to the zoo an' the park an' ate out a lot. My grandpa kept askin' me questions 'bout our daddies. I wanted t'tell 'im t'shut up."

Franny giggled, "I hope you didn't. Doesn't sound like he'd take it real well."

"He'da tanned my hide if'n I said somethin' like that!" Bobby exclaimed. "He kept askin' me if'n I didn't wanna come an' live with him an' my gramma. Down in Texas."

"Do ya wanna?"

"No way! I wanna stay here with my daddy. I ain't never gonna see my mom again, so I gotta stay with my daddy."

"I wish I could stay here, too."

"Why? Your momma ain't dead." Bobby opened the mailbox and pulled out the mail.

"I know, but I love it here. There's so much t'do and my daddy is finally happy. He's a lot more fun when he's happy."

"He ain't happy today."

"I know. I hope he's okay. Jack says it's just a cold or somethin', but Daddy never gets sick. Makes me worried."

"Danny's family will be back from their camping trip tomorrow, so we c'n play with them."

"I can't wait! I hope we get t'go swimming."

"If it ever stops raining!"

"It ain't rainin' right now."

"Looks like it's gonna start, though."

* * *

Ennis vacillated between sleep and wake, fire and ice, the entire day and into the night. Pre-dawn light washed everything to a pale luminescence when he woke for real the next morning. The last two days felt like a bad dream. Reality was right in front of his face. Jack's features were soft in sleep, his dark hair framing his beautiful face. His eyes opened slowly and Ennis was pierced and swimming in the blue.

"Hey, baby."

"Hmm."

"How're ya feelin'?"

"Don' know."

Jack kissed his lips, barely touching them in his gentleness. "Go back t'sleep."

Ennis intended to stay awake, but Jack's words worked magic on his brain and he drifted back into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

_Tuesday, August 10, 1976_

_I gotta tell him. I can't lose him. He's gonna kill me. I wanna kill myself. Oh, God, just kill me now an' put me outta my misery. _Deep breath in. _Knock it off, asshole. Jus' tell 'im the truth and beg fer fergiveness. _Another deep breath. _How could I be so fuckin' stupid? How can I face him? How can I look into those eyes ever again? I gotta tell him. I can't lose him. He's gonna kill me. I wanna kill myself. _Deep breath in. _Just get the fuck outta bed an' face the music, asshole._ Ennis took a shaky breath and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He sat for a moment, his head in his hands, misery pouring off him like heat waves.

* * *

Jack picked up the phone on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Oh, hi, Ellen. How was yer camping trip?" He listened for a while, smiling and nodding now and then. "Sure . . . Friday night? I'm sure that'll be okay. Ennis hasn't been feelin' good the past coupla days, but me 'n the kids'll be there fer sure, even if he cain't . . . Thanks, Ellen, you too." As he returned the phone to its cradle he heard the shower in their room start. _Oh good, he's up. _

Jack looked out the window, thoughts lost in the sunbeams and bright heat, _Something's going on. Something with Tyler. And Ennis. _He could feel it in the air around him–around them. _I think Tyler fancies Ennis and . . ._ his mind veered from the thought before it could be completed. _Maybe I shoulda let Tyler leave. _He shook his head, _but goddammit, we need 'im right now. I better talk t'Ennis about it. _He stepped out the door of the office and heard a high pitched yell from outside. _Bobby! _Jack flew down the stairs, through the house, and out onto the porch.

Kelly was helping a crying Bobby up the stairs, cradling his arm. Jack leaned down, put his arm around Bobby's shoulders. "What happened?"

"He fell off his bike. I think his arm is broken, Jack."

"Shit. Bobby, son, calm down, okay?"

Bobby's sobs slowed to a gulping hiccup.

"I'll take ya t'the hospital. Come on. Kelly, would you let Ennis know where I've gone." He spotted Junior coming out the door, curious about the commotion, and asked, "Junior, d'ya think you could come with us? Just in case Bobby needs help while I'm drivin'?"

She looked like she was going to refuse, but her eyes softened when she looked at Bobby's tear-stained face. "Sure, Jack."

The three of them got in the truck and drove off. Kelly went in the house. Ennis was just coming down the stairs and asked, "What happened? I thought I heard a yell while I was in the shower."

"Bobby fell off his bike and maybe broke his arm. Jack and Junior are bringing him to the hospital."

"Did you see it happen?"

"Yeah. I was watching him out the window and he was going pretty fast and hit a rock or something."

"Damn. This is a bad time fer somethin' like that t'happen."

"You don't think L.D. will try to use it against Jack, do you? I saw it happen. It wasn't anyone's fault."

"I wouldn' put it past L.D. t'use anythin' he could against Jack."

"Oh, Ennis." Her dark eyes filled with tears and her hand went to her mouth.

"Where's Franny?"

"She and Hannah are out in the field playing with their Barbies." She looked at him closely, "How are you feeling, Ennis?"

"A lot better, thanks."

"Want something to eat? I made a big pot of chicken soup for lunch."

"Sure, then I better go out an' check on the horses."

Ennis finished his soup and walked out to the stables. He was relieved to find that no one else was there. _I don't know how I'm gonna ever face Tyler again. Or Jack, fer that matter. _He kept himself busy for an hour, his thoughts from earlier repeating themselves like a torture mantra. After a while, he walked out towards the field where Franny and Hannah were. He could see a big blanket that was covered with all their Barbie stuff. As soon as Franny spotted him, she leapt up and ran into his arms, yelling, "Daddy! Are you feelin' better?"

"I sure am, darlin'. Sorry t'get sick just when you girls got here. What've ya been up to?" He walked with her back to the blanket.

"Yesterday we played inside 'cause it was still raining part of the day. Today, Hannah came over with her Barbies, but, Daddy, d'you think we could go to town. I need a Ken doll. Hannah has one an' I don't. I _need_ one."

Ennis looked at the elaborate set-up they had made, using folded hand towels and washcloths for couches and chairs, and a brick for a coffee table, among other things. "Well, I'll think about it, darlin'. Bobby had an accident on his bike. Mighta broke his arm. I don't wanna go anywhere 'til Jack gets back with him. In the meantime, I bet it's about time fer lunch. You wanna stay an' eat with us, Hannah?"

"Sure, Mr. Del Mar."

"Now Hannah, didn't I tell ya ta just call me Ennis?" he smiled at her and got one in return. "I'll help you girls pack up yer stuff."

"Can't we leave it out here, Daddy? We wanna play with 'em after lunch."

"Okay, but don't blame me if a wild animal comes and drags ever'thing off," he smiled a lopsided smile at them.

They both giggled. "Oh, Daddy, don't be silly!"

Ennis sat and had another bowl of soup while the girls and Kelly ate lunch. "Where are the guys?" he asked Kelly.

"They took a lunch with them. Another tree came down on the fence, during that storm, and it was pretty bad, so they figured they'd be out there most of the day."

Hannah and Franny finished their lunch and went back out to their Barbies. Ennis stayed at the table, a barely touched cup of coffee in front of him. Kelly cleaned up the table and rinsed their dishes, then sat across from Ennis. She didn't say anything. Ennis didn't notice, at first, so lost was he in his own thoughts. Finally, he realized they'd been sitting there together, in silence, for some time, and looked up at her. She was gazing out the window, a lost look in her eyes.

"You okay?" he asked.

She smiled sadly. "Ennis, can I ask you something?" he nodded, "Have you ever been in love with someone you can't have?"

He chuckled low, but there was no humor in the sound. "I spent thirteen years bein' in love with someone I felt I couldn't have."

"Jack."

"Yes."

"But . . . now you've got him."

"But it took a lot fer us t'get together. I never thought we'd ever be together like we are. Even now, it ain't so easy," he added softly.

She lowered her head and he could see the tears that fell from her eyes, like lone drops of rain. "At least you were able to finally come together. I'll never be able to do that."

"Oh, darlin', I'm so sorry. Colin McIntyre told us about your boyfriend. I'm sorry he's gone. Maybe it's time t'move on an' look fer someone else."

"I'm not crying about Dean," she said, a little harshly, wiping her eyes.

"Who, then?" he asked.

"Never mind, it's not important."

"Kelly, if yer cryin' about it, it's important. What's standin' in yer way of bein' with this person? You're a beautiful, caring, talented young lady. Who couldn't love you?"

"Someone who wants a beautiful, caring, talented young man," she whispered softly.

Ennis's eyes opened wide. "It's . . .it's not . . ."

She looked up and her eyes also widened, sensing his reason for distress. "Oh, Ennis, no, it's not you or Jack!"

"Tyler?" he asked hesitantly.

She nodded miserably. "It's always been Tyler. I only dated Dean because I couldn't have Tyler. I mean, he was nice and all, but no one compares to Tyler."

Ennis was silent for a while, lost in thought. "Honey, maybe you should try to get out more. Meet some new people."

She sighed. "I know. I keep telling myself that, but it's hard."

"How about taking some classes at the community college? Jack an' I'd certainly let you rearrange yer schedule t'do that. It might be good fer ya."

She was silent, considering it. "That might be a good idea, Ennis. I'll think about it." She looked into his eyes shyly, "Thanks for listening to me."

He came around the table and leaned down to give her a one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Anytime, darlin', anytime. I can't tell ya how happy I am that yer workin' fer us. Bobby and the girls adore ya and ya take such good care o' me an' Jack. I know Jack feels the same way. But you do what you need t'do. If you need t'move on, we'll understand."

She wiped her eyes and laughed her musical laugh, "No need to think like that! I'm not going anywhere now!"

The door opened behind them and Jack came in carrying a sleeping Bobby, his left arm encased in a white plaster cast, followed by Junior. Jack put Bobby on the couch and took his sandals off, then covered him with the light blanket they kept at the end of the couch.

Ennis gave Junior a hug and a soft, "Hi, darlin'." She hugged him back.

"How're ya feelin', Daddy?"

"A lot better. Thanks fer goin' with Jack an' Bobby, sweetheart. You want some lunch? Kelly made some really good chicken soup."

"Sure, Daddy, I'm just gonna go wash up. Be right back." Kelly went to get some lunch for Junior and Jack.

"So? What's the story?" Ennis asked. "How is he?"

Jack shook his head. "He broke his arm. A fracture, but a clean one. Gonna be in a cast fer a month, at least." He ran his hand through his hair and added, "Couldn'ta happened at a worse time, right before court."

Ennis reached out and touched his arm, running his hand down to Jack's hand. "Sure it could, darlin'." Jack looked up at him sharply, questioningly. "Coulda happened right before his visit with L.D. an' Faye. That woulda been worse. 'Sides, he might have it off afore we even halfta go t'court, right?"

Jack smiled wryly. "I guess yer right, cowboy." Ennis let his hand fall away, seeing Junior emerge from the bathroom.

Ennis sat at the table with Jack and Junior while they ate.

"Oh, I almost fergot. Ellen called an' invited us to a big barbeque at their house on Friday. I said we'd go, if it's okay with you?"

"Sure."

"How 'bout you, Junior, what do you think?"

She looked up at Jack, surprised. "Me?"

"Yes, you, you're a young lady now an' I want yer opinion."

Her cheeks flushed a soft pink, but her smile was pleased, "I think it's a great idea."

Ennis flashed Jack a thankful smile, then looked at Junior and asked, "You wanna go into town? Franny wants somethin' at the store. I thought maybe I'd take you girls and we could have supper together, just the three of us."

"Sure, daddy, that'd be nice," she smiled at him, then looked shyly at Jack, "if that's okay with you, Jack?"

Jack's heart gave a lurch and he swallowed hard before answering. "That'd be fine with me, sweetheart. You girls have a good time with yer daddy."

"Junior, why don't you go tell Franny. Tell her t' clean up her stuff out there."

"'Kay, Daddy," she said.

"I'll go with you, Junior. They might need help carrying all that stuff they brought out there," Kelly said and they disappeared out the door.

Ennis cleared his throat hard and looked at Jack. "Well, that's a step."

"Yep."

They sat quietly for a while, until Jack said, "Hey, Ennis, I wanted t'talk t'you about somethin'."

Ennis's heart constricted and he felt cold all over, but he managed to ask, "What?"

"I think Tyler has a crush on ya. He's been actin' kinda strange and right after you guys came back in that storm, he tried t'quit. Said he needed t'look fer a new job."

"He did?"

"Yeah. I asked him to stay, 'cause we cain't afford fer him t'be gone right now."

"Maybe ya shoulda jus' let 'im go," Ennis said quietly.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "Why? I tol' ya, we need him right now. What the fuck is goin' on, Ennis?"

"Jack, yer right about Tyler. I know 'bout how he feels 'bout me."

Jack's voice rose a bit, "You've talked t'him about it?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"What does that mean?"

"Jack, this ain't the best time t'talk about this. Bobby's on the couch and the girls'll be back any minute."

"Ennis, yer scarin' me. What's goin' on?"

"Cain't we talk about this later, Jack?"

Jack grabbed the front of Ennis's shirt and pulled him roughly to him, "Ennis, I swear t'god . . . don't leave me hangin' like this . . . ya got me thinkin' the worst . . ." he released his grip and stepped back, turning away, breathing hard.

Ennis put his hand on Jack's shoulder, gently. "No need t'think the worst, darlin'. I promise."

Jack turned and met his eyes, hurt still visible in them.

"We got some stuff t'talk about, but I don' want ya t'worry, okay?" He pulled Jack into his arms, his stomach in knots, but trying not to show it. He knew he needed to tell Jack about the kiss between him and Tyler, but right now was not the time. And, as far as he was concerned, there would be nothing else to talk about. He'd done some hard thinking, during his moments of consciousness while he was sick, and realized he could not live without Jack. Nothing in the world was worth losing Jack, especially now, when they were finally on the way to building a real life together. _Nothing. _He held Jack tight, his face pressed into Jack's neck, breathing in the scent he loved so much._ How could I ever have risked losing this, losing him? _He tightened his grip, knowing he just might lose him, when Jack found out what he had to tell him.

Jack pulled back and met Ennis's lips in a deep kiss. Ennis lost himself in it, mentally beating himself with a tire iron for ever risking the loss of his Jack.

* * *

Ennis wandered around the K-Mart store with Franny and Junior. Franny picked out a Malibu Ken doll and a new carrying case for the Barbies. Junior picked out some Trixie Belden books, explaining to Ennis that she was a girl detective, the same age as Junior. They picked out a new Tonka truck for Bobby, hoping to cheer him up, since he wouldn't be able to go swimming for the rest of the summer.

It was starting to get dark when they got home. Jack was sitting on the couch, with Bobby curled up next to him, watching "Happy Days". Jack was admiring Fonzie and thinking, _I should grow some sideburns like that. Wonder what Ennis would think of 'em? Maybe a mustache, too._

"Bobby, we got you a present," Franny said, handing him the truck. "We thought it might cheer ya up."

"Oh, wow! Thank you!" he looked up at Jack, "Can I take it outside an' try it, Daddy?"

"You can take it in the entryway an' try it. It's gettin' dark out and the mosquitos are really bad this time o' night."

"All right. Wanna come with, Franny?"

"No, I gotta take Ken t'meet Barbie."

"Oh, all right. Hey, I could give Ken a ride in my truck!"

"No, thanks," she replied and went to her room. Bobby shrugged his shoulders and went out to the entryway alone.

"I'm gonna go in my room an' read fer a while," Junior said.

Ennis sat on the couch next to Jack. Jack looked at him, an unreadable question in his eyes. Ennis reached over and took Jack's hand in his, then leaned in for a quick kiss. He knew it wouldn't fix anything and it wouldn't help ease the pain when the truth came out, but he couldn't help himself as he whispered, "I love you, Jack."

Jack's eyes widened at this unexpected declaration. "I . . . I love you, too, Ennis," he stammered, then leaned in for another kiss and reluctantly drew his hand away from Ennis's.

They sat together through the rest of "Happy Days" and then through "Laverne & Shirley", but Ennis fell asleep before the end. Jack shook his shoulder and sent him up to bed and by the time Jack went up to bed, Ennis was sleeping deeply.

Jack came awake during the night and felt Ennis curled around him. He smiled and rolled over, into Ennis. He felt safe here, in the arms of the man he loved. There was a hitch in Ennis's breathing and he opened his eyes sleepily. "Jack?"

Jack threaded his legs through Ennis's and tightened his embrace. "I'm here, baby." The warmth and closeness worked magic on his body and seemed to do the same for Ennis, judging from the hardness between them.

Ennis rolled on his back and pulled Jack onto him. A long sigh escaped him and he nuzzled into Jack's neck. They began moving together, the silence disturbed only by the sound of their sighs and kisses. Jack felt like he was surrounded by a cocoon of pleasure, wrapping them in a gentle embrace, pushing them closer and closer, until it was impossible to know where one ended and the other began. And then, momentum built until his body hummed with electricity, his toes curled, and he was infused with orgasmic pleasure, made sacred because Ennis came at exactly the same moment. Jack collapsed, breathing hard, a goofy smile on his face. Ennis kissed him and sensed the smile.

"What?"

"Nothin'. I jus' love wakin' up like this."

Ennis tightened his arms around Jack, all troubles, for the moment, pushed from his mind. His whole being was here, in this moment, and right here was pure joy.


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

_Friday, August 13, 1976_

Beau Peterson was a man who was comfortable in his own skin. He moved with an easy grace and had a personality to match. His blond hair was a mass of loose curls that hung down the back of his neck. His blue eyes sparkled with an inner light and his features were so fine they almost bordered on feminine prettiness. Adding to his charm, was the fact that he was completely unaware of all of this. He just knew who he was and how to live in himself. Janie took his arm as they walked up the drive and into the backyard of Colin and Ellen McIntyre and were swallowed up in the chaos that was the McIntyres' annual end of summer barbeque.

"Janie! Oh, I'm so glad you could make it!" Ellen greeted her, taking the pan of brownies Beau had made. "These look delicious! Did you make them?"

"No, actually, my brother did. Ellen, this is Beau, my brother. Beau, Ellen McIntyre."

Beau took her hand and smiled warmly, "Nice to meet you, Ellen."

"You too, Beau. Come on, I'll introduce you to my husband Colin."

They followed her to the two large barbeque grills, where Colin stood, holding a spatula in one hand, talking animatedly to Ennis and Jack. Ellen made introductions, then disappeared to greet another guest. Jack put an arm around Janie and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hi, Janie. How are you doin'?"

"I'm good, Jack. How are you? How's Bobby's arm?" Jack had called Janie the day of Bobby's accident to let her know right away what had happened.

"He's good. He gets kinda crabby that he can't swim fer the rest o' the summer, but folks 'round here keep telling me 'dog days' are startin' an' ain't no one gonna be able t' swim in the lakes." He leaned into her ear and whispered, "I don' know exactly what that means, you got any idea?"

She laughed and whispered back, "It has something to do with the temperature of the lake changing. All the stuff from the bottom comes to the top, so all the muck and weeds and stuff gets churned up and there's a lot more parasites in the water. You really don't want to swim in it."

"Oh, I see. Thanks, Janie. I'll tell Bobby that. Course, knowin' him, he'll wanna get right in there an' see all the parasites."

"Oh no!" she laughed.

"So, Beau, what're you gonna be doin' around here?"

"Well, I'm hoping to find someplace to work, so I can help Janie out with bills and stuff."

"He's an artist." Janie said, a hint of pride in her voice.

"Yeah, well, being an artist don't exactly pay the bills, little sister."

"You do any farm work? Work with horses?" Jack asked.

"A little. I worked on a small ranch a couple of summers ago."

Jack looked at Ennis, a question in his eyes. Ennis gave a barely perceptible shrug back and a tiny nod with his head.

"Two o' our farm hands is leavin' in September. Goin' ta college. We're lookin' t'hire someone t'replace them. Think you'd be interested?"

"Sure," Beau replied.

"Why don'tcha stop by on Monday, take a look around, see if you really want to work fer us."

"Okay, sounds good," he smiled at him, then looked across the yard at a new couple coming into the backyard. Janie watched his face change from mild interest to piqued interest in a heartbeat. She followed his gaze and saw Tyler and Kelly walking behind Ellen to a table that was already full of dishes of food, pans of bars, and plates of cookies.

Jack also saw them enter and glanced at Ennis to note the way his eyes skipped to Tyler and swiftly away again. Ennis had been avoiding Tyler for the past week, either begging off work to spend time with the girls, or only working alone or with Dayle and Dwayne. Tyler also made himself scarce and made sure to go another direction when it even looked like Ennis might be getting close to him. As for Jack and Ennis, they had not yet had a serious talk about the whole situation. Jack was biding his time, wanting Ennis to come to him when he was ready to talk about it. In his deepest heart, he could feel a twinge of fear and felt cowardly for not jumping on Ennis and demanding answers, but he also trusted Ennis and knew that if something terrible had happened, they would have already talked about it, or Ennis would have disappeared. Neither had happened, so Jack was willing to wait. _For a while. _

Janie grabbed Beau's arm, "Can you guys excuse us?" she asked, glancing back at Jack, Ennis, and Colin, not waiting for an answer. She walked up behind Kelly and touched her shoulder.

Kelly turned around and grinned, "Hi, Janie!" Even though there was about a five year gap in their ages, Kelly and Janie were becoming good friends. "Where've you been all week?"

"Hanging out with Beau."

"Oh yes, the infamous brother." Kelly looked up and noticed Beau.

Janie noted, with a hint of amusement and sadness, the flush that came to Kelly's cheeks. _Another one bites the dust_, she thought. Outwardly, she said, "Kelly, this is Beau. Beau, Kelly Bolduc."

"Hi, Kelly, nice to meet you," Beau sparkled at her.

"You too."

Tyler turned around and Janie was watching as his eyes met Beau's. _And another one down_, she thought wryly. "Beau, this is Tyler Cloud. He's a friend of Kelly's."

Tyler held his hand out for Beau and when their hands met, he felt a hum of energy run through his hand and up his arm. "Pleasure to meet you, Beau."

Beau's eyes locked on Tyler's and instead of the sparkle they'd given Kelly, they were infused with a slow smouldering that he had no control over. "The pleasure is mine, Tyler."

Janie stepped back, feeling almost like an intruder, "Well, I'll let you boys get acquainted."

Kelly looked from Tyler to Beau and restrained herself from rolling her eyes, before following Janie.

"Why didn't you warn me about your brother before I got sucked into his charms?"

"You saw what happened, too?"

"I think anyone in a ten mile radius sensed what happened. Damn." She was thoughtful for a moment. "Is that why you've been so understanding about Jack and Bobby?"

"It probably has a lot to do with it. It took me a long time to understand about Beau, but he's my brother and I love him. I know he's not a bad person, just because he's attracted to other men, but it isn't easy. If it's this hard for me, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for him. Or Tyler. Or Jack and Ennis." She was quiet for a while, then added, "My parents still don't know. Well, my mom doesn't _officially _know, but I think she suspects. You know how moms are. My dad, though, would probably never speak to him again."

"Really?"

Janie nodded.

"Come on, let's go get a soda."

Jack and Ennis were sitting in lawn chairs by the fire talking to Rusty Anderson, owner of the feed store, when Anna, Nancy, and the twins arrived. Anna spotted him right away and motioned for him to come and talk to her.

"'Scuse me, guys," Jack said, standing up. He met her and she led him to the edge of the lawn where there was less chaos. "What's up, Anna?"

"I'm sorry, Jack, I hate to talk about this here. I was going to call you earlier, but I was on the phone for a long time and when I got off, you'd already left."

"What happened?"

"I was on the phone with Rick Lawson, L.D.'s lawyer. Somehow, he found out that Bobby broke his arm. He was all set to file another motion for temporary custody before the trial starts, based on endangerment–saying Bobby isn't safe in your care." Jack's face turned stony and his fists clenched. Anna put her hand on his arm. "Calm down, I got good news. I talked to him for a long time and told him what happened. Told him that Kelly saw what happened and it wasn't anyone's fault. Stuff like that happens everyday to kids. I talked him out of filing the motion."

Jack relaxed a bit, but then a deep frown crossed his face. "Wait a minute. How did he find out about Bobby's broken arm? Bobby hasn't talked to him or Faye all week."

"I don't know, Jack, he didn't say. That's the part that concerns me. L.D. may have hired someone around here to keep an eye on you or he may have even hired a private detective."

"That fuckin' asshole," Jack hissed. "Have you been able t'find anything on him?"

"Just that he treats his employees kind of shitty. We can't find out much about what kind of parent he was because Lureen's gone and any information we could get from when she was a kid would be so old I'm sure the judge wouldn't even take it into consideration. Even so, her old teachers I've talked to haven't said anything bad, anyway. Remember, Jack, what we have on our side is what's going on now. Bobby loves you and wants to stay with you. He's too young to decide where he wants to live, but we can let the judge know how he feels. It helps to have a social worker on our side, too. Don't give up hope. Just keep doing what you do best–be a good father to your son."

"I can do that."

"I know you can, Jack. Now, I need something to drink."

Kelly took a drink of her Pepsi. "Look at those two."

"Maybe we should go help them."

"I think you're right." Kelly and Janie walked over to Dayle and Dwayne, who had gathered all the kids into a group and were attempting to play Simon Says. "Hey, can we play?"

Bobby hugged her around the waist, "Yes! Stand by me, Kelly, please?"

She laughed and pinched his nose lightly, "Okay, but you keep that cast under control. I don't want you knocking me out with it!" Earlier in the day she'd been helping him change his shirt and he'd accidentally hit her in the nose. Nothing was broken, but she definitely saw stars for a few minutes.

"I will."

"Maybe we should start over," Dayle said. It was met with a chorus of agreement. "Okay, everyone get back in the group!" All the kids got into a loose group, giggling and pushing each other. "Settle down, settle down! Ready? Okay, Simon Says . . . raise your hands!" A wave of hands went up in the air. "Okay, put your hands down!" Three or four sets of hands went down. "Uh-oh, Simon didn't say to put your hands down." There was some groaning while the ones who put their hands down left the group. "All right, Simon Says . . . jump up and down." Dayle met Janie's eyes with a mischievous twinkle in his. "Simon Says stop jumping!" and so on, until Junior and Emma McIntyre were the last ones standing and agreed they won by a tie.

Janie stood by Dayle as the kids all scattered, "You're a naughty, naughty boy, Dayle."

His green eyes twinkled back at her, "I'm a young man. It's not my fault two beautiful young ladies joined the game and made it more interesting."

Janie blushed prettily while Kelly and Dwayne exchanged amused glances. Dwayne looked at her, "Have you thought anymore about going to the community college, Kelly?" They started walking towards the soda cooler together.

"I think I'm going to do it. I started the paperwork today."

"I'm glad."

"When are you guys leaving for St. Scholastica?"

"August 31. We have a couple of days of orientation and then classes start on Thursday."

"Are you nervous?"

"No. I think it'll be fun. And it's close enough we can drive home whenever we get lonely or miss mom and Anna. Or have dirty laundry!"

"I bet your mom is happy you'll be close."

"She is and she keeps reminding us about it," he smiled and looked at his mom fondly. She wasn't close enough to hear their conversation, but she had that sixth sense that mothers seem to have and met his eyes, a smile on her own lips.

"Dwayne, can I ask you something?" They'd gotten a soda and found a couple of chairs near the fire, but far enough away to provide some privacy. "Was it hard for you, growing up, with your mom and Anna? You know, living together?"

He hesitated before answering.

"I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. It's just . . . you and Dayle always seemed so cool about it, but lately I've found myself wondering how it really was for you."

"It's fine–I don't mind talking about it. It was hard sometimes, knowing we weren't like other families. Dayle and I always made a point to be involved in school stuff, sports and clubs, you know that. I think it helped. Mom and Anna being pretty prominent citizens helped, too. They did what they could to protect us, but they lived by their own terms. I admire them for that."

Kelly looked at him with new eyes. The twins had always seemed to exude an aura of being playboys, but she realized suddenly, that it was on purpose.

"You really like Jack and Ennis, don't you? And Bobby, of course."

"I do. They're becoming like family to me. Junior and Franny, too. I think it's terrible that Jack has to fight to keep his own son. It's wearing him down. It's wearing them all down, actually." Kelly had picked up on the tension in the house, even though Jack and Ennis had tried to hide it, for the kids' sake. "I know they want the whole thing to be over, but at the same time, they're so afraid of Bobby being taken away." They were silent for a while, watching the fire dance and weave in the growing darkness.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" Dwayne finally asked, already knowing the answer.

"No."

"Maybe we could catch a movie sometime."

Kelly looked at him sideways, a small smile on her lips, "I'd like that."

"I like to paint, but mostly I draw and sketch." Beau was saying. "I travel around a lot and it's too hard to take all my painting stuff with me. I leave it at my parents house."

"You travel a lot? Where've you been?"

"All over. My dad was in the army, so he dragged us all over the country and even over to Germany for a couple of years. I guess it got in my blood, that need to see what's out there," he waved his arms in a large, vague gesture. "Janie's been after me to come out here. I think she gets homesick."

"Are you planning on staying for a while?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know. Probably, if I can find a job. Doesn't seem to be a lot of them around here. Though, I did get a job offer today. Farm work. Jack Twist said a couple of their farmhands are leaving, going to college. He asked if I was interested."

Tyler's eyes widened and he looked down, then up again. "That's where I work. Been there for about six years now."

"Do you like it? They good to work for?"

"Actually, they've only owned it for the last five months. Ennis inherited it from his uncle. Yeah, they're good guys," he added softly, looking down again.

A speculative look came over Beau's face as he watched Tyler's. He found the dark eyes and sensitive mouth set in the bronze-brown skin and long, dark hair a little foreign and intriguing. He was watching closely and didn't miss it when Tyler's eyes darted to Ennis, like a bullet to a target, before dropping again. Beau took another long look at Jack and Ennis, across the fire. They were seated next to each other, not touching, nothing conspicuous, until . . . Ennis looked up and met Jack's eyes and there was no mistaking the intimacy in them. He glanced back to Tyler and saw he'd seen the look between them, also, and had a closed, unhappy look on his face.

Beau cleared his throat, breaking the silence between them. "So, what's the story, are you gonna work there forever?"

"No. I'm already kind of looking for something different."

Beau didn't ask why; the answer was plain enough. "I hope you'll stay for a while. It'd be nice to work with someone I already know. Maybe we could get to know each other better."

Tyler raised his eyes to Beau's, sensing the deeper meaning in the words. "Sure, no, I'm not leaving for a while. Ennis's daughters are here visiting from Wyoming, so he's been real busy with them."

"Cool," Beau flashed him a smile, bright and beautiful, and was rewarded with a shy smile in return.

Dayle grabbed Janie's hand and dragged her with him to an area where the kids were playing music and dancing. "Dance with me."

"No!" she giggled, "This is just for the kids."

"Who cares? I feel like dancing." He pulled her into his arms and began an exaggerated two-step around the children, who were whirling and jumping around. She threw her head back and laughed, but followed along.

The fast song ended and a slower one began. Janie stopped, intending to step back, but Dayle pulled her close. "Dance with me?" his green eyes pleaded with her, a change in the mood and the air evident.

"O . . . okay," she stammered, as he took her hand in his and held it between them, his other hand around her waist. She looked into his eyes for a moment, before looking away, noticing as she did, that the children had all lost interest in dancing to a slow song and had moved away. They were alone, which she pointed out, adding, "Maybe we should join the rest of the group."

"I'd rather dance with you." She didn't know whether it was because of the two glasses of wine she'd had or because it was a full moon on Friday the thirteenth, but when he leaned forward and kissed her, she didn't resist. In fact, she leaned in and kissed him right back, before pulling away, breathing hard. She could barely see the emeralds of his eyes before he pulled her close and brushed her lips again. Soft at first, then with more urgency. And when his tongue touched her lips, instead of breaking away, like a minute corner of her mind was screaming at her to do, she parted her lips and drew his tongue into her mouth.

The kiss went on until, through the pounding of her heart, she heard very distinctly, "Dayle and Janie, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" They broke apart to find themselves surrounded by a group of the younger children, who were pointing and giggling and singing that damn rhyme, " . . . first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Janie with a BABY CARRIAGE!"

Dayle grinned at them all, then made shooing motions with his hands, "All right, you little hoodlums, get out of here. Isn't it past all your bedtimes?"

"No!" He started to chase them and they scattered, leaving giggles in their wake.

Dayle came back to her, "Sorry about that. Let's find somewhere a little more private."

"Let's just go back to the fire. I don't know what came over me." Janie started back towards the rest of the adults, but looked back with an encouraging smile, noting as she did that his face lit up.

* * *

Jack crawled in bed next to Ennis, who was almost asleep. "That was fun. It was nice. Not too much excitement."

"Hmm . . . guess we could do with a little less excitement in our lives, don'cha think, Jack?"

"Yeah," Jack agreed softly, curling around Ennis.


	22. Chapter 21

_Trixie Belden _books, copyrighted by Golden Books, is not mine. I just borrowed it.

Chapter Twenty-One

_Saturday, August 14, 1976_

Jack sat on the porch, cup of coffee in hand, watching the sun rise. Everyone else was still in bed and he'd fed the horses. His thoughts went to Ennis and the strange way he'd been acting lately._ I been so wrapped up in what's goin' on with me an' Bobby I haven't been attentive as I should be. _

_I wonder what's goin' on with Tyler? Maybe I shoulda jus' let 'im go that day. I don't know . . . I can't blame 'im fer lookin' at Ennis–he's damn handsome and so sexy. _A small smile crossed his face, then disappeared. _Ennis said there was nothin' to worry about. Easier said than done. But I trust Ennis. Trust 'im more than I trust myself. _

He hung his head. _Damn, what if he found out about Mexico or the other guys?_ His worry became laced heavily with guilt. Jack had taken a few trips down to Mexico, looking for someone to fill the gap left by Ennis, all those long months they spent apart. He went, even knowing that the guilt he felt afterwards cancelled out the momentary pleasure he'd gotten from the trips. There'd also been a few cowboys he met up with, in bars usually, and spent some time getting to know each other, inside and out, for a week or two. Jack never let it last longer than that, because by then, the guilt was eating him up inside. _I shoulda told him a long time ago. Or at least when we moved in together. How could he've found out, though? I shoulda told 'im. What if he wants me t'leave? Maybe that's why he's been so quiet an' moody lately. Maybe he's thinkin' of a way t'let me down easy. Goddamn, if he's gonna do it, wish he'd get it over with! _

_Ain't gonna help with the situation with Bobby an' L.D., though. Maybe I should just let Bobby go live with 'em. Make things a lot easier. No, it wouldn't, Jack. Bobby'd have a miserable life an' so would you. It ain't what Lureen would've wanted. _Jack knew she'd loved her parents, but there was always a sense of defiance in Lureen towards them. Especially when she married Jack. He'd really loved that part of her.

_Damn, wish Ennis would talk t'me 'bout what he's thinking, _he thought, even as another part of him screamed out against it. _Maybe if I let it go long enough, he'll just let it go an' forget about it. No, that ain't his way. _He sighed and covered his face with his hand. _Fuck. You're such a goddamn asshole, Jack Twist. Ya shoulda been honest with him in the first place. Those guys didn't mean nothin'. I shoulda kep' my pants zipped, though. Fuck! What the hell was I thinkin'? What'm I gonna do if he wants me t'leave? I cain't. Can't face a life without 'im._ He dropped his hand and took a long swallow of coffee. The door opened behind him.

Junior stepped through, carrying a glass of orange juice and her book. She stopped when she saw him. "Oh, I thought no one was out here. Sorry t' disturb ya." She turned to go back inside.

"It's okay, darlin', you can stay. If ya want to, that is. I wouldn't mind some company. Or I'll just sit quiet, if ya just wanna read."

She hesitated, but eventually let go of the doorknob and took a seat in one of the deck chairs.

"What're ya readin'?" Jack asked.

"Trixie Belden and the Secret Code Mystery."

"Oh, a mystery. Is it any good?"

"Yep. This one's my favorite. It's number seven in a series. It's kind of like Nancy Drew, only I like these better because Trixie seems like a real person. She's always messing up and fighting with her brothers. She lives on a little farm and her best friend lives in a mansion and they have horses. She's only thirteen, but she's solved plenty of mysteries."

Jack listened to her, a smile growing on his face. Junior rarely talked to him. This was probably the most words she'd ever said to him at one time. "Those sound real good, Junior."

"Sometimes, me an' Emma pretend t'be Trixie and Honey, that's Trixie's best friend, but there sure aren't any good mysteries around here." She flushed suddenly, worried that Jack would think she was a dumb little girl for playing at pretend.

He didn't seem to notice and answered, "Ya know, darlin', there is a little mystery you an' Emma could solve fer us. You know that gray tabby cat? I know she had her kittens, but I can't seem t'find 'em an' I'm beginning t'think, by the way she carries on, that she can't either. Maybe you girls could find out where she had 'em an' we could move them t'someplace safe."

"That doesn't sound like much of a mystery, Jack."

"I know, but it's important t'the momma cat."

She looked at him dubiously, but agreed to try.

"You want some coffee? I'm goin' t'get another cup."

She giggled. "Kids don't drink coffee, Jack."

"Sure they do. My momma used ta give me a cup ever' morning." She just laughed. Inside the house he poured himself another cup and one for Junior, putting in a couple teaspoons of sugar and a big dollop of milk. He handed it to her and she eyed it speculatively. She took a small drink.

"Mmm . . . this is good."

"Glad ya like it. I'll jus' be quiet now, so you c'n read yer book."

They sat in silence, drinking their coffee, watching the day come to life in front of them.

* * *

Janie opened her eyes, a smile on her lips as her dream faded. The smile disappeared as she remembered that last night wasn't a dream. _Dayle and the kiss. God, he's just a kid! What was I thinking?_ She rolled out of bed, put her robe and slippers on, brushed her teeth, and shuffled out to the kitchen.

Beau was standing at the stove in his t-shirt and boxers, cooking something that smelled delicious.

"Geez, put some clothes on," she said.

"I have clothes on."

"I really don't want to see you in your underwear."

"Just pretend they're shorts. They practically are."

"Ugh." Pause. "So, what're you cooking?"

"Smell good?"

"You know it does, brat."

"It's just an omelet. Want some?"

"Of course I do!" she replied, pouring a mug of coffee. She took a drink and nearly spit it out. "What did you do to this?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's too strong!"

"That's how I like it. That's how they're making it in Seattle. Just add some hot water to it."

He split the omelet and put each half on a plate with a couple of pieces of toast. They sat at the table together, eating quietly for a few moments. Beau finally asked, "So, what happened last night? You were awfully smiley on the way home."

"Smiley?"

"Yeah, sis, _smiley_."

She blushed and looked down, "Nothing happened."

"Oh, yeah, I believe you. Especially when you're blushing like an apple."

She covered her face with her hands. "Oh, Beau, I think I did something really stupid. I kissed a boy."

"NO! You kissed a boy?" he said, in mock shock.

"Stop it! I mean, he's a teenager, for goodness sake!"

"What do you mean?"

"He's 18 or 19. And he's leaving for college in a few weeks."

"Well, that's not so bad. I had a sudden vision of you kissing a pimply-faced, braces-wearing fourteen year old."

A look of horror came over her face and then she started giggling.

"Well, he certainly had a good effect on you," he smiled at her. "You gonna go out with him?"

"He didn't actually ask."

"He will."

"What about you? See anyone you're interested in?"

"I don't know," he said overly casually. He got up and took their plates to the sink, rinsed them, and refilled their coffee mugs.

"You're being awfully evasive."

"Well, that guy, Tyler, was pretty good-looking. But I think he's into someone else."

"Who?"

"One of those guys that owns the farm. The blonde."

Janie nearly spit her coffee out. "What? What are you talking about? Ennis and Jack are together. They've been together for a long time."

"Well, I don't know. I just know what I saw. Tyler was watching Ennis while trying not to watch Ennis. He couldn't keep his eyes off him."

"Oh no."

* * *

Kelly awoke with a smile on her face and it didn't disappear, even when she came all the way awake. She showered and dressed, then went into the kitchen to find her mom already up, dressed, and packing some homemade muffins into a basket.

"Whatcha doing, mom?"

"I thought I'd bring these over to the farm. I'd like to spend some time with Ennis's girls while they're here. He said they don't really have anything planned for today. Would you like to come with?"

"Naw, you go ahead. I spend a lot of time over there already."

"Are you complaining?"

"No, of course not! I love it there, but they're probably sick of me."

"I doubt that could ever happen, honey."

"Just tell them I said hi."

"Okay, I will," she said, going out the door with her basket.

Kelly spent the morning finishing the paperwork for the community college and was just putting it away when the phone rang.

"Hello?" She flushed. "Oh, hey Dwayne. Lunch today? Sure, I'd like that. No, I'll just meet you there. Me too. Okay, see you in a bit."

* * *

Alice knocked on the door to at the farm and heard Bobby yell _come in. _He came through the door to see who it was and nearly knocked her over with a hug. "Grandma Alice! Hi! What are you doin' here today?"

"I thought I'd bring you all some homemade muffins for breakfast or brunch. Where is everyone else?"

"Daddy and Ennis are out in the barn, Junior is at the lake with Emma, and Franny is in her bedroom looking for her sketchbook and markers. We're gonna draw."

Just as he got all of it out, the door opened behind them and Jack and Ennis entered and greeted her with a one-armed hug and kiss on the cheek.

"What brings you here today?" Jack asked.

"I just got done telling Bobby I made some homemade muffins for you. Blueberry and strawberry rhubarb."

"Sounds delicious, don't they, Ennis?"

"Hmmm? Yeah, they do."

"I also wanted to invite all of you over for supper tomorrow night. Around six, or so?"

"Alice, you don't have to feed us all the time. 'Sides, don't you get sick o' cooking after doin' it at the restaurant all day?"

"No, I'm used to it. And I want you to come to supper. I wouldn't have asked, if I didn't."

Jack smiled at her, "Sounds like you ain't takin' no fer an answer."

She returned the smile, "You're right about that. See you tomorrow, then?"

"Sure," he looked to Ennis, "right, Ennis? Supper tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me, too." Ennis replied.

Franny came out of her bedroom carrying a sketchpad, markers, and colored pencils. "Hi, Alice!" she said brightly.

"Should we go down to the lake and draw?" Bobby asked. "Wanna come with us, Alice?"

"I'd love to."

Alice, Franny, and Bobby went out the door and headed down the trail to the lake, with a reminder from Jack to Bobby to keep his cast dry.

Ennis went to the sink to wash his hands while Jack poured them each a glass of lemonade. He handed one to Ennis and they sat at the table. The silence stretched uncomfortably between them.

"That new guy, Janie's brother. I hope he works out okay," Jack said finally.

"Yeah, me too." Ennis looked out the window, a million miles away.

Jack took a drink, barely got it past the lump in his throat, and set the glass on the table. "Ennis. I can't take it anymore. Are you thinkin' o' leavin' me? Or kickin' me out?"

Ennis's head snapped around. "What in the hell are you talking about, Jack? Have ya lost yer mind?"

"I thought . . . I just . . . I thought, well, I thought you were bein' so quiet 'cause you were tryin' t'think of a way t' tell me t'leave."

Ennis just looked at him, his eyes wide, before finally saying, "Jack, I don't know what you've been thinkin', but what kind of an asshole d'ya think I am? Think I'd ask ya t'share my life an' then just kick ya out a few months later? Have ya lost yer fuckin' mind?"

Jack thought maybe he had. "I thought maybe you found out . . ." he was interrupted by a shout outside. "Goddammit, what now?" He went to the door and met Alice and Bobby just coming up the stairs.

"I'm sorry Jack, he was on the dock, tripped, and fell in the water. His cast is soaked. You probably want to take him to the hospital and have it replaced." Alice said. "It really was an accident–I saw it happen," she added, noting the storminess in Jack's eyes.

He turned to Ennis, who had followed him outside. "Guess I better take him in."

"Yeah. He might wanna change into some dry clothes, though." Ennis turned to Alice as Jack disappeared in the house with Bobby, "Are the girls still down there? They aren't swimming, are they? I warned them not to swim unless there's an adult down there."

"No, they weren't in the water. I think they're heading back to the house. Why don't I help you fix some lunch for them. I'll make some sandwiches for Bobby and Jack to take with them."

"You don't have to."

"Hush, I want to," she smiled at him, leading the way into the house.

Jack and Bobby were back downstairs in moments. Alice handed them sandwiches wrapped in wax paper, while Ennis grabbed a couple bottles of soda out of the refrigerator and followed them out to the truck. He waited while Jack settled Bobby inside, then stopped Jack before he got in the truck.

"Jack, I'm sorry about today. I know we need t'talk. But, darlin', I ain't lookin' fer a way t'be apart from ya. I want t'be with you more'n anything. I hope you know that, if ya don't know anythin' else." His brown eyes looked into the blue, noting the dark storminess was still in them.

"All right. But we gotta find some time t'talk, Ennis."

"I know." Ennis's eyes flicked to Bobby, who was fiddling with the towel around his cast, and leaned in to give Jack a quick kiss.

The stormy blue eyes softened a bit as he whispered, "Ennis . . ."

"Drive careful."

"I will."

Ennis returned to the house to find the girls had returned and Alice had a simple lunch on the table for them. She joined them for lunch, then left, with a reminder about supper the next night. Junior and Emma went out the door, talking about some mystery they were solving.

Franny brought Ennis the dishes to wash, then stood on a stool next to him, rinsing and drying them. "Daddy? Are you still happy here?"

"Sure, why d'ya ask, honey?"

"I don't know. Just seems like ya aren't as happy as ya were at first."

_Damn this girl is perceptive_, Ennis thought, with a touch of pride and sadness. "I'm happy, darlin', but this is all new. It's takin' a lot t'get used to. An' I hate the thought of not bein' able t'see you girls very often. That makes me sad."

"You sure, daddy?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"You're gonna have some big changes too, when ya get back t'Wyoming. Havin' a new step-dad."

"I got used t'Jack bein' my step-dad, didn't I?"

Ennis looked at her sharply. "Wha'd'ya mean? Jack ain't yer step-dad."

"Sure he is, Daddy."

When she said it so simply, he couldn't argue with her. It surprised him and nearly brought tears to his eyes. _Of course. What else was Jack to the girls? _He drew her into a tight hug. "Franny, darlin', you are such a smart girl, do you know that? I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, too, daddy," she hugged him back.


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

_Sunday, August 15, 1976_

Jack pulled the car into the driveway of Alice and Kelly's house. The kids tumbled from the back of the station wagon and ran up to the door, barely waiting for Alice to say _come in _before they were through the door. Jack and Ennis followed more slowly and were greeted with _hellos_ from Alice and Kelly and a heavenly scent coming from the kitchen.

"Do I smell turkey?" Jack asked, sniffing loudly.

"Who says turkey is only for holidays?" Alice asked, smiling. "Besides, this isn't one of those tasteless storebought turkeys. This is a wild turkey. Russell Cloud, Tyler's dad, brings us one every now and then."

"He does?" Jack asked curiously, surprised.

"Yes. He brings us wild rice, too, when he harvests it. He doesn't always make it out there. Some years are better than others," she added softly.

When they were seated at the table, Bobby looked around with wide eyes, "How are we gonna eat all o' this?" he asked.

Alice laughed, "Just eat until you're full. I'll send some leftovers home with you."

After the meal, Jack and Ennis agreed it was the best they'd ever eaten. The turkey had been wonderful and tasty, the homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and fresh green beans from the garden were like nothing they'd tasted before.

Kelly took the kids outside, while Jack and Ennis helped Alice clean up, despite her many protests. When they were done, they went outside and sat in lawn chairs, watching Kelly and the kids. Kelly had taught the girls to braid daisies together to make crowns and necklaces. Ennis watched his daughters. Junior, with her long, auburn hair flowing down her back and topped with a crown of daisies, and Franny, her blond hair in a messy pony tail, with strands of daisies draped around her neck. He'd never seen anything so beautiful in his whole life. They looked like wild faeries out of a story. He looked over and met the deep blue of Jack's eyes. Actually, maybe he had seen something as beautiful.

They sat outside, talking and laughing, until the stars appeared and the moon rose. There was enough of a breeze, scented by wildflowers, to keep the bugs to a minimum and Ennis felt a sense of contentment that he'd been missing lately.

Finally, Jack yawned and announced they should head home. Alice brought out a basket full of leftovers she'd packed. Jack and Ennis drove home in silence, while the kids slept in the backseat. The tension between them had been ebbing and flowing for days. Sometimes it was there, sitting between them, and other times it was as if nothing were wrong. Tonight they were swimming somewhere in the middle and Jack wanted to forget it.

He lit a cigarette and wished briefly that he could have a shot of whiskey. He looked over at Ennis, who was watching the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on his leg. Jack felt the tension seep out of him and replaced itself in his heart with a love so strong it almost hurt. He reached over and slipped his hand under Ennis's. Ennis glanced over, his face an unreadable mask that turned to a small, crooked smile as his fingers tightened around Jack's.

* * *

Beau pulled into the driveway of the farm and parked in front of the steps. He took off his helmet and looked around, liking what he saw. The farm was well-taken care of and the house was just plain cool, built like a large-scale log cabin. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door. Jack opened it almost immediately.

"Hey, Beau. Saw ya pull up. Come on in. Want some coffee?"

"Nah. I had some already."

"Okay, well, I'll show ya 'round." He led him out to the yard and stable, pointing out which horses were work horses, where the feed was, where the tools were, and everything else he'd need to know.

"Where's everyone else?" Beau asked.

"Bringin' in some hay. We set one o' the far pastures t'hay so we don't have t'buy it all." A beat up truck appeared on a makeshift road around the field. "Looks like one 'o the guys is comin' in. Musta fergot somethin'. You feel like startin' today?" Jack asked.

"Sure, might as well."

"Okay, great."

The truck stopped in front of the house and Tyler got out. He nodded at Jack and Beau, then retrieved the green Coleman cooler that was sitting on the edge of the deck and put it in the back of the truck. "We forgot the water. Gettin' hot out there already."

"Hey, Tyler, you wanna take Beau out with you? He's gonna start today."

"Sure, hop in, I'm heading right back out."

"See ya later, Beau. Tyler." Jack said and watched as the truck turned around and followed the track back out to the field.

Beau looked at Tyler's profile as he drove, noting the dust and hay clinging to his sweat-soaked t-shirt. His hair was pulled back and hung in a braid down his back, but a loose strand had escaped and clung to his cheek. Tyler glanced at him, sensing the attention, and flushed at Beau's frank admiration. Beau smiled and looked away as Tyler pulled next to the tractor and trailer. Ennis, Dwayne, and Dayle were standing by the trailer and approached the truck when it stopped. Tyler opened the cooler and handed out jars of water. It didn't escape Beau's notice that Ennis flinched when Tyler handed him a jar and their fingers met.

A few minutes later, they returned the jars to the cooler and Ennis announced that the break was over. He showed Beau what to do and they went back to work. They worked hard until lunch, then Ennis drove back to the house while the rest of the guys rode in the back of the truck. Kelly had a picnic lunch ready for them outside near her garden.

Ennis got up, after eating, and said, "Since Beau's here, I'm gonna send you guys back out t'work without me. I wanna spend some time with Junior and Franny. It's almost time fer them t'leave."

"Sure, boss," Dwayne said.

Ennis gave him a steely look. "Don' call me that, boy." Dwayne just grinned at him and was pleased to see he almost got one in return.

After Ennis left, Dayle turned to Beau and asked, "So, was your sister gone all weekend, or just avoiding my calls?"

"Hey, man, I'm not getting involved in my sisters love life," he replied, putting his hands up. "Although, she may have made a comment about being too old for you."

Dayle snorted. "That's ridiculous."

"I'm just telling you what I heard. I don't think I'd give up, though," he said in a conspiratorial whisper. Dayle got a bemused smile on his face.

Dwayne got up and started clearing the table. He brought the dishes in the house and didn't come back for a long time. Finally, Dayle stood up and said, "I better go find him, if we're ever gonna get back to work," and disappeared in the house.

Beau looked over at Tyler, watching him curiously. Tyler glanced at him and dropped his eyes. Beau was intrigued by this man, who was a contradiction in strength and weakness, sensualness and innocence. Ennis came out the door, showered and dressed in a clean t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers. He glanced at Tyler as he headed down the path to the lake, obviously looking for the girls. Beau watched Tyler watch Ennis, a look of desire and regret naked in his dark eyes. Beau tore his own eyes away, feeling like an invader into this man's heart.

* * *

"Jack, I was thinkin', maybe we should take the kids to Duluth one day this week, take 'em to Lake Superior. I ain't seen it yet, either, an' I'd kinda like to see it with them."

Jack thought about it for a minute, "Yeah, okay." He undressed to his boxers and went to brush his teeth. When he came out of the bathroom, Ennis was already in bed. Jack got in beside him and turned towards him, "I was doin' some thinkin' too. Thought when you brought the girls back t'Wyoming, maybe me an' Bobby could come with an' we could take a trip to see my parents in Lightning Flat. They ain't never met you or Bobby. I know my momma's dying t'meet both o' ya. Now that we got the station wagon, it ain't no problem fer all o' us t'go somewhere t'gether."

Ennis thought about it for a minute, unsure of how he felt about meeting Jack's parents, but finding no good reason to refuse. "I guess so, bud," he finally agreed.

"Don't worry, Ennis. My momma understands. My daddy, well, that's another story, but he ain't never gonna change, so might as well just deal with 'im as he is and get on with it. I was thinkin', too, that maybe you an' I could get away fer a coupla days while we're there. Go back up on the mountain."

Brown eyes met blue, both shuttered and hiding secrets not able to be shared yet. "What about Bobby?"

"I already talked t'momma. She said he could stay there fer a few days."

"You trust yer daddy with him?"

"He ain't gonna hurt 'im. It's me he don' like an' he ain't dared t'do anythin' t'me fer a long time. An' I'll make sure he knows he ain't t'lay a finger on my son."

"This what you want, Jack?"

"Yeah, Ennis, it is."

Both understood what this trip would mean. "All right, darlin'."

* * *

Ennis was up before dawn the next morning, deciding to keep to his schedule of working in the morning and taking the afternoon off to spend with the girls. He dressed and went downstairs and was surprised to see Tyler at the table. Ever since their kiss, he'd stopped coming in for his morning coffee. Ennis walked hesitantly to the coffee pot, poured himself a cup and took a seat at the table. "Mornin'," he said, lighting a cigarette.

"Morning." They sipped their coffee and Ennis smoked, all in silence that seemed to stretch on and on until it became another entity in the room.

Tyler cleared his throat, put his hands on the table, leaned forward, and said quietly, "Ennis, I just wanted to say . . ." he stopped, hesitant to go on.

Ennis finally looked at him, "You don't need t'say anything. I know I made a mistake an' I regret it. It ain't never, _never_ gonna happen again. I jus' wanna ferget about it."

"Yeah, yeah, me too. I'm really sorry, Ennis. I didn't mean to . . ." he stopped again, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

Ennis saw the misery on his face and put his hand over the brown one resting near him. "Tyler, if I was free, god help me, I wouldn't have no regrets," he said vehemently. "You an' me, we're so much alike. God knows, you're . . . I'm attracted . . ." he stopped and took a breath. "But I'm not free. I have Jack. I have Jack, after waiting thirteen years! He's the reason I'm here. He's the _only _reason I'm here. I love him, do you understand? I love him an' I cain't do anything t'lose him. I don't even know if he'll forgive what I've done already, but I can't lose him. It'd kill me."

Ennis saw the tears that made shining tracks down Tyler's cheeks as he said hoarsely, "I know."

Ennis let go of his hand, "If you can't work here no more, that's okay. You can leave with no hard feelings."

Tyler sat up straight, sniffed, and wiped his cheeks with the palms of his hands. "I'm okay. I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I just want to start over. Pretend none of this happened. Okay? That's all I wanted to say." He drained his cup and set it back on the table. He met Ennis's eyes again. "I'm gonna get to work. See ya later," he said and disappeared out the door.

Upstairs, Jack went back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. He hadn't heard what they'd said, but he saw Ennis put his hand on Tyler's and felt the intensity of their conversation. Jack put his head in his hands. _It coulda been purely innocent, just a comforting gesture. I will not think the worst. I won't_, he repeated, as if the repeating could make it true.

* * *

Janie looked at the clock on her desk, wishing for it to be 4:30 so she could leave. She sighed, pushed her chair back, and picked up her coffee cup. A cup of coffee was always a good excuse for a break, even if she didn't want one. She walked to the lounge and found the coffee pot empty, so she prepared another pot. She stood at the window, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. She was lost in thoughts of a blonde-haired, green-eyed young man when she heard someone say her name.

She turned to see her supervisor, Dave Wachowski. He was a big man with a bald head and bushy beard, as if all his hair had migrated south. He stood near the coffee pot, holding it up. "Are you waiting for this? It's done."

She nodded her head, her face coloring, "Yeah, thanks, Dave." She held her cup out for him to pour her a cup, then added some cream and sugar.

"How're things going with that Twist case I gave you?" he asked.

She finished stirring, then put the stir stick in the garbage. "Pretty good. I've told you I don't have any concerns about Mr. Twist's ability as a father."

"Yeah, but the situation out there can't be good for a boy to grow up in. Know what I mean, Janie?"

She didn't ask what situation he meant; she already knew. "Dave, I agreed to monitor the case, even though I don't have any concerns. If you don't trust me, you can put someone else on it." She challenged, mentally crossing her fingers that he would not take her up on it. She knew that if she defended Jack too much, Dave would be suspicious and probably take the case himself. She tried to keep her air of nonchalance, while silently quaking inside. Janie knew that she had crossed a line with this family, knew it with everything in her, but she couldn't hand the case over. She was fearful of the consequences if she did. How she, of all people, ended up with the case, she didn't know, but she was grateful.

He thought about it for a minute, while she hardly dared breath. "I guess not. You've been a good social worker, Janie, so I trust your judgement. I just worry about a kid being raised by men like him." The way he said it made Janie furious, but she coached her features to blandness.

"Don't worry, Dave. I'll go out there more, if you want me to."

He thought about it again. "You know, that might not be a bad idea. Especially since his father-in-law is calling every five minutes, wondering what we're doing." He rolled his eyes. "As if we don't have enough to do."

Janie walked beside him back to her desk. She knew he wasn't a bad guy, just ignorant about homosexuality, just like most of the rest of the country. At least Dave seemed as fed up with L.D. as she was, though. She wondered herself about his almost-daily calls. Her eyes widened as a thought occurred to her. It was almost like he had someone up here, watching Jack for him. She felt a sudden need to talk to Jack and picked up the phone and dialed the number for the farm.

"Hi, Kelly, is Jack around?" She waited while Kelly went for him.

"Jack, it's Janie. I was wondering, could we meet for coffee? Would right now be okay? Yeah, how about at Perkins. You know where that is? I know. I'm sorry, it won't take long."

She hung up the phone, grabbed her purse and their file, then let the receptionist know she was leaving for a home visit.

She was already seated in a booth at Perkins when Jack entered. She didn't miss the admiring look the waitress gave him as he smiled at her. She knew him so well now that his looks didn't have that effect on her. _Not much, anyway_, she smirked to herself.

"Hey, Janie, what's with the cloak an' dagger bit?" he asked, sitting down. "I'll just take a cup o' coffee," he said to the waitress.

"I was talking to my boss and I had a thought I wanted to share with you, but I didn't want to say anything on the phone, in case it's bugged."

Jack laughed, "I think you been reading some o' Junior's mystery books."

"Jack, I'm serious. L.D. calls our office all the time, with information that he could only get from someone up here. I think he may have hired a private detective or something."

Jack sobered, then thanked the waitress as she set a cup of coffee in front of him. "I kinda thought that. When Bobby broke his arm, L.D. knew right away. Anna thinks so too."

"You better be careful Jack. I don't think he has much to go on."

"And he won't. It ain't like we do anything bad out at the farm, Janie. We don't even have beer or any alcohol out there. We work, spend time with the kids, an' sleep. Go out t'dinner with friends once in a while, that's all."

"I know, Jack, I'm just saying you better keep being careful."

"I guess this is a good time t'tell you we're goin' outta town fer a few days."

"Did the judge restrict you from leaving the state?"

"No, I suppose he didn't think of it."

"Where are you going?"

"Taking Ennis's girls home, then we're gonna go up to Lightning Flat an' see my folks. They're gonna watch Bobby fer a few days while Ennis and I go camping."

"Do you think it's a good time to do something like that, Jack?"

"I think it's something we need t'do," he replied, a faraway look in his eyes. "'Sides, we'll be back long before the court date."

"Okay, just let me know when you get back, okay?"

"I will. Don't worry darlin'," he smiled at her.

"I should be saying that to you, Jack. I'd be a wreck, if I were in your shoes."

"Well, some days are better'n others, but even so, can't mope around all the time."

Janie looked into his eyes and understood, completely, why Ennis was so in love with this man.

* * *

Tyler turned the key in his car and nothing happened. He tried again, still nothing. _Shit. _He put his head down on the steering wheel. It had been a terrible day, he was exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to go home, take a shower, and fall into bed.

"Hey. Something wrong?"

He looked up and into the blue eyes, noticing that they were not the sapphire blue of Jack's eyes, but lighter, softer, almost gray. "Umm, it won't start."

Beau smiled. "I can see that. Know what's wrong with it?"

"No, I'm not too good with cars."

"Pop it open, let me take a look at it."

Tyler obeyed, then got out and stood by Beau, who poked around. Finally, he looked at Tyler. "I don't know what it is. I'd have to look underneath and I really don't feel like it tonight. I haven't worked this hard in a long time."

"No, of course, no problem." Tyler said.

"I could give you a ride, though."

"I don't want to be any trouble."

"No trouble at all. Feel like stopping somewhere for a beer before I take you home, though? I need one after a day like that."

"Sure, okay."

Beau handed him an extra helmet and helped him adjust the strap under his chin. Tyler got on behind him, unsure of where to put his hands. He finally settled them on his own thighs, but as soon as the bike roared to life and Beau took off, he instinctively moved them up to Beau's waist. Beau turned around to smile at him. "Hang on," he said, speeding up once they got off the driveway.

Inside the house, Ennis walked away from the window, a slight frown on his face.


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

_Wednesday, August 18, 1976_

Jack put the green metal Coleman cooler in the back of the station wagon and moved over so Ennis could put the lunch basket in beside it. "Thanks for making up this lunch fer us, Kelly," Jack said, "We'll stop somewhere fer supper, so don't make anything."

"Okay. You guys have a good time."

Bobby stopped to give her a hug before getting in the car and Franny followed suit. Junior was halfway down the steps when she suddenly stopped and ran back in the house with a cry of, "Oh, I forgot my book!" She was back out in a few seconds.

Jack leaned down to look in the car, "We got everything we need? You kids ready?" Junior slid by him and into the backseat next to Franny.

"Yes, let's go!"

Ennis looked at Kelly with a twinkle in his eye, "You keep those boys in line today. Just 'cause we ain't here don't mean they can slack off."

She grinned back at him and nodded, "Yes, sir. Have a good trip."

Ennis got in the car and glanced at Jack in the driver's seat. Jack gave him a small smile and backed the car around. Ennis looked in the backseat, "Did you all bring jackets or sweatshirts? It might get cold today,"

"Yes, daddy. You already asked us that."

"I did?"

"Yes."

The made their way out to highway 2 and headed east. Ennis let the kids' chatter flow over and around him as he relaxed back in the seat. The sky above was a brilliant, deep blue. Almost the color of Jack's eyes. A snippet of a poem came to his mind. Something he'd read somewhere recently. He couldn't remember where, but he remembered some of the lines that seemed important to him.

_I'm traveling down this Minnesota highway  
between the place where I am now  
and where you used to be_

_and all around the trees and grass are painted  
in water color greens  
and up above the sky is blue, the perfect shade  
of northern summer sky_

He looked at Jack again and their eyes met. The sky was definitely the same color as those beautiful eyes today. Outside, the pine trees and the birch and aspen trees flew by, occasionally broken up by a marsh or swamp, where the dead snags rose out of the water like skeleton trees.

Junior buried herself in her book while Bobby and Franny kept up a running commentary between them. Jack and Ennis were mostly silent during the drive. Junior glanced up from her book once in a while, at the back of their heads, curious and yet unnerved, by their silence. It grew more pronounced when Bobby, and then Franny, fell asleep. Junior was reluctant to break the silence, however, so she went back to her book.

_Between the place where I am now and where you used to be. _It was a mantra that wouldn't go away. Ennis watched as a bald eagle circled overhead. "Did you see that?" he asked Jack.

"Yeah."

Junior looked up, looked out the window, wondering what they saw, wondering what was so important it finally broke the silence. The eagle soared above the car, the white head and tail a contrast to the dark brown body. She could feel the strength in its wings and the grace in its movements. It circled above for another moment before disappearing among the trees. Junior glanced back at her dad, who was looking at Jack, then her eyes moved to Jack, who turned to meet her father's eyes. The look that passed between them made her lower her head, made her heart and her eyes soften and fill with unshed tears. She rested her head against the cool glass of the window and looked out at the trees and grass and flowers and sky all flowing together in a river of color, like the watercolor picture that hung in the living room at her dad and Jack's home.

Junior opened her eyes and looked around, realizing she'd fallen asleep. They were on the edge of town. "Where are we?" she asked, feeling Franny stir beside her.

"In Hermantown. It's right before Duluth," Jack answered.

There was building construction going on around them, but they passed it all and kept going. The road started a gradual incline until the reached the divide and started over it. Junior sucked in her breath at the scene before her. The lake stretched out to the horizon, the color of slate. Like the eagle, this lake filled her with a feeling of awe. Power emanated from its depths and she felt small and insignificant just at the sight of it. Houses and buildings perched among the majestic rocks that surrounded the shore.

Jack followed the directions Kelly and Tyler had given them to Canal Park. Rocks, as big as the children, rose in front of them on the shore. To their right, a double pier extended into the lake, one side ending in a lighthouse. Seagulls roamed the ground and sky above, moving almost as a single entity. Outside the car, the day was warm and hazy, but the wind was an undercurrent of calm noise and cooling breath.

"Can we go see the lighthouse, Daddy?" Bobby asked.

"Sure."

The kids started towards the pier, disturbing the seagulls on the ground, who flew up and grouched at them before settling back down on the ground, only to fly up again when Jack and Ennis approached. The pier was about twenty feet wide, a massive cement structure that had four foot sides to keep the waves out and people inside. Jack walked along one side while Ennis walked along the other, space and subtle tension between them. They reached the steps up to the lighthouse together and walked up, joining Junior, Franny, and Bobby, who stood behind the lighthouse, watching the ebb and flow of the waves.

Ennis looked at Jack, who had his hands on top of the retaining wall, his long fingers splayed. His face was serene, his eyes far, far away, but after a minute, he seemed to sense that he was being watched and turned to Ennis, his eyes wide and trusting, and looked straight into Ennis's soul. Their eyes locked and held onto each other, until Bobby tugged at Jack's shirt.

"Daddy, look at that. What is it?"

Jack looked out onto the lake. "It looks like a ship." They stood and watched as it approached, dwarfing them the closer it got, until it seemed impossible that this could be something made by man, so large and imposing it was. It was almost incomprehensible that it was going to fit between the two piers and underneath the aerial bridge that lifted in anticipation of its passage, but the massive ship slipped neatly between the two stone structures, like a tumbler in a lock sliding home. The ship was a small mountain, towering above Jack, Ennis, and the kids as it went by and underneath the bridge. They watched until it disappeared, until the bridge lowered, and the waves died down.

"Can we go down by the water?" Franny asked Ennis, breaking him out of the trance he seemed to be in.

"Sure, darlin'. Just don't get too close and be careful by the rocks." The kids raced down the steps and along the pier. Jack walked to Ennis and leaned down on one elbow, facing him. Ennis looked up and met his eyes. "That was incredible."

"Yeah." Jack looked around and realized they were alone and shielded from the parking lot by the light house. He reached out, hooked Ennis's beltloops with his fingers, and pulled him closer. Ennis took his own look around and then turned his brown eyes to the blue, a small smile on his face.

"What are you doin'?"

"Nothin'." Jack's eyes hooded, his features softened as he leaned closer. "This," he whispered, leaning in to meet Ennis's lips with his own. Ennis put his hands on Jack's cheeks, a light touch, and closed the distance between them. Jack's tongue feathered into his mouth, filling it with the taste that was so familiar. He allowed Jack to explore his mouth for a moment before breaking away.

"Come on, we better go find the kids before one of 'em falls in," he said softly, leaning in for one last kiss, then broke away reluctantly and lead Jack down the steps.

Junior was standing on the rocky shore, looking down. "Look at the rocks, daddy. Look how smooth they are." She bent to pick on up and looked at it a moment before handing it to him. "Here, this one's for you," she said.

He turned the rock over and over in his hand. It was a deep, blue-gray and shaped like a heart. He marveled at its perfection before putting it safely in his pocket.

Bobby picked his way carefully down to the water and put his toes in. "Ooh! It's cold!" he smiled back at Jack.

"You be careful, son. I don't anymore trips t'the hospital."

"I will," Bobby said, as Franny joined him at the water. They both squealed as a wave broke and washed over their feet.

Jack made his way to where they stood. "You two don't get any closer. See that?" he pointed out about a foot and a half into the water, "The shore drops right off and the current is so strong it'd carry you away afore we could blink."

Bobby picked up a rock and threw it in. "Okay, daddy."

Franny found a bigger rock and tossed it in, "Look at that splash!" she cried.

Jack turned and looked at the shore. It looked like a giant hand had pushed all the huge rocks into a pile along the lakeshore and then tired of his game and left them where they lay. Ennis was seated on a flat rock, watching Bobby and Franny, so he joined him.

Junior continued her search for unique rocks. Ennis noticed her pockets were bulging with them. After a while, she approached them and stood shyly in front of Jack. "I found something for you, Jack," she said, holding out her hand. He put his out and she dropped something in it. "It matches Daddy's."

Jack looked closely at the rock in his hand. It was blue-gray and heart shaped. He showed it to Ennis. "Thank you, sweetheart," Jack told Junior, a slight hitch in his voice. Ennis took his rock out of his pocket and compared it to Jack's. They could have been joined at one time, centuries ago, only to split and sit on this shore, water washing over them year after year, to smooth out all the roughness, leaving them smooth and perfect. Ennis handed Jack's back to him and they each put them deep in their pockets.

Junior left them and joined her sister and Bobby at the water. They threw in more rocks, then started climbing on the rocks. After a while, Bobby complained that he was hungry, so they got out the lunch Kelly had packed, found a picnic table, and settled in to eat. After lunch, they watched another ship come in, then walked along the shore. It was afternoon before Jack suggested packing up and going home.

They stopped at the Ground Round, which seemed to be a combination sports bar and family diner, to eat supper. Ennis expected a comment about them, two dads, being out with the kids, but the waitress didn't seem to care. She was friendly and took their order, delivered it when it was ready, but otherwise left them to themselves.

The ride home in the near dark was uneventful and all three kids were sleeping when they pulled in the driveway. Ennis woke Junior and helped her inside, then went back to carry Franny in while Jack did the same with Bobby. It was early, but they tucked them into bed anyway.

Ennis followed Jack up the stairs to their bedroom. He felt the tension come back into him as he softly shut the door behind him. He heard Jack in the bathroom as he stripped down to his boxers. Jack came out of the bathroom in a matching outfit and brushed his hand along Ennis's stomach as they passed each other, Ennis heading to the bathroom and Jack to the bed. Ennis smiled and kept going. He brushed his teeth and splashed some water on his face.

A feeling of unease was settling itself over him, though he tried to resist it. Today had been a beautiful, relaxing, fun day. _So what is the matter? _The feeling of unease was seeping into his skin and bones. He shook himself and took a deep breath, willing the feeling to go away. It didn't budge. He looked at himself in the mirror and barely recognized the face staring back at him. He sighed, looked away, and shut off the light as he went into the bedroom.

Jack was already in bed, one arm behind his head, looking at the ceiling. He had a thoughtful look on his face as he watched Ennis get in bed and face him. Ennis reached out and touched the hair on Jack's stomach with his index finger, tracing the trail down to the edge of his boxers.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked.

Ennis didn't answer right away. His finger retraced its path up to Jack's chest. "No. I don't know."

Jack captured his hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed the tip of Ennis's index finger, took it into his mouth up to the first joint, then returned the hand to his stomach. Ennis's finger felt cold as the air hit it. He splayed his fingers out on Jack's stomach and was reminded of Jack's hands on the wall at the pier. _Between the place where I am now and where you used to be. _He pressed his fingers into Jack's skin. Jack looked at him curiously.

Ennis raised up on his elbow and moved his hand up to Jack's chest, running his fingers along the ridge of his pectoral muscle. Jack flinched and grinned when his hand hit the sensitive area on his side, just below his armpit.

Ennis smiled weakly, "Fergot you were ticklish there." He moved his hand back to Jack's chest, stopping to circle the nipple, then back down the trail of silky hair that disappeared under Jack's boxers. Ennis could see the bulge beginning to grow down there, but he ignored it and his hand traveled back up. His thumb stopped and caressed the hollow of Jack's throat, leaving it when Jack swallowed hard. His fingers traced a path along Jack's jawline and he was acutely aware of the roughness of Jack's stubble. His fingers continued their path north to slide around the edge of his ear.

He avoided looking into Jack's eyes, focusing instead on his mouth and those lips. Jack's tongue came out and moved along his lower lip. At this sight, Ennis finally felt a stirring in his own groin. His hands moved again to Jack's chest, feeling the hardness of his muscles and the strength beneath the skin. His fingers were drawn yet again to the trail of silky hair, which he traced gently, not stopping at the waistband this time. His hand slipped into Jack's boxers, all the way down to the thatch of soft hair. A low sound escaped from deep within Jack and he squirmed involuntarily beneath Ennis's hand, which tangled in the curls before tracing a light path along the hard shaft. Ennis finally looked up to Jack's eyes, but they were closed. It was his mouth that was open, his head arched back in pleasure and anticipation. Ennis ran his tongue along Jack's jawline, feeling the stubble prick and scrape his tongue. _This is a man's face, a man's body. _His uneasiness was replaced with desire as his cock sprang to life, hardening in an instant. Jack opened his eyes, feeling the change.

Jack had not touched Ennis yet, sensing that it would not have been welcomed or appreciated. He reached up now, to cup Ennis's cheek with his hand. "What's wrong, Ennis?"

Anger flashed in Ennis's eyes and disappeared. There were so many things that needed to be said, so many things he needed to say, but he wouldn't. Not yet. Not here. He moved his body down the bed and pulled Jack's boxers off, not missing the look of hurt that passed through the blue eyes. With an almost overwhelming sense of guilt, he took Jack in his mouth, nearly gagging in his haste. He backed off a bit and slowed down.

"Jesus christ, Ennis . . ." Jack moaned, his hurt pushed aside for the moment. His hips moved, but he restrained the urge to thrust, wanting to make it last. Ennis felt himself grow harder in response to Jack's reaction. He had a realization that he wasn't doing this just so Jack would reciprocate later. _I enjoy it. I love it. I love the feel of him, the taste of him. _He grew even harder, but then he nearly stopped what he was doing as the reality of it hit him. He was elated and terrified. A roaring started in his ears and blocked everything else out for a moment, until a soft sound brought him back to himself.

"Ennis, oh, Ennis, baby, baby . . . _Ennis_ . . ." Jack's hips thrust upwards and he exploded into Ennis's mouth. He swallowed it all, then moved up to rest his head on Jack's stomach, feeling Jack breathing hard, his fingers tangled in Ennis's curls.

When Jack's breathing slowed to normal, Ennis crawled back up to lie beside him. Jack turned to face him, pushing him onto his back and raising up on his elbow. He looked into Ennis's eyes, not breaking contact as his hand traced a path from ear to ear and then around his lips. He leaned down and kissed Ennis, his eyes open and locked on the brown. He pulled away and reached down with his hand, underneath Ennis's boxers, to feel the hardness within them. He stroked it a couple of times, then finally tore his eyes away from Ennis's as he moved down the bed and repeated Ennis's actions, though he started with more gentleness.

It was full dark when Jack woke later. He was tangled up with Ennis and the sheets and could barely see Ennis's face in the darkness, although he could feel the even breathing and felt the arms tighten around him as he snuggled closer. All of Jack's uncertainty and uneasiness from earlier in the night disappeared as he drifted back to sleep.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

_Thursday, August 19, 1976_

Ennis took his hat off and wiped his sweaty forehead with his arm. He looked up, noticing a couple of ravens circling low, their ebony wings dark shadows against the brilliant blue of the sky. He looked back at the fence and was overcome with a sense of de jà vu. He'd been avoiding Tyler for days, and now here he was, at almost the same area of the fence that had started him down this path. Dwayne and Dayle had taken the day off, Jack was meeting with Anna, and Beau had gone into town when Tyler had ridden in to say that a tree had fallen on the fence and he needed some help with the repair. That left only Ennis to help. Cursing under his breath, Ennis saddled up Jojo and rode out with him. He glanced at Tyler under the brim of his hat; he seemed just as uncomfortable to be here as Ennis did, which made Ennis feel somehow worse.

Tyler flipped his braid over his shoulder as he hefted a large branch and dragged it away from the fence. Ennis followed with another one, making sure to avoid the chain saw where he'd left it on the ground. They each went back for another branch, but when they dropped them in the trees, Tyler hissed softly. Ennis turned around and saw his hair had caught and tangled in the branches as he'd dropped it on the ground. He went back to help as Tyler's fingers scrabbled at the limbs.

"Stop it, yer makin' it worse," Ennis said, pushing his hands away and working his own fingers in to free the silky strands. The braid had come out and the long strands were tangling in the branches. He worked for a minute, realizing he might be making it worse himself, when it came free.

"I should just cut it all off," Tyler said, rubbing his head where it had pulled, more meaning behind the statement than he revealed.

"No, don't do that," Ennis said, then looked down, shaking his head once. "I mean, of course, do what ya want." He looked up into Tyler's eyes, which had darkened to deep wells of shadow. "I just mean, yer hair, it's a part of you, it's . . ." he trailed off, then reached up to pull a twig out of Tyler's hair. Tyler watched him, his heart pounding, barely daring to breath, as Ennis reached up and pulled another one out, his fingers lingering a little longer than necessary.

"I used to think it gave me strength, but now, I don't know what it means." Tyler raked his fingers through his hair, trying to straighten some of the tangles. He looked up and up, his eyes drawn to the ravens that continued to circle above them. Ennis watched his face from under the brim of his hat.

_I should get back to work, _he thought, not moving. _I've been here before, I've been through this before. I can't do anything with these feelings, not when I've got Jack. Beautiful Jack. _Yet, he stood there, his hands on his hips, unable to move, watching the face in front of him. Tyler finally lowered his gaze to Ennis, his dark eyes shuttered.

Ennis took out his cigarettes and lit one. He sucked hard on it, trying to focus his thoughts, which were pitching all over the place, like a drunk on a bender. He took a couple more drags on it, then dropped it and ground it under his heel. "I s'pose we better get this fence fixed," Ennis said, turning around. Tyler followed and they cleared the rest of the tree away from it. That done, Tyler put the boards in place while Ennis pounded the nails in.

They finished up and put the tools away in the saddle bags, but instead of mounting up, Ennis walked away and stood in the shadows of the trees towering above him, facing the forest, away from Tyler. His hands were shaking and he felt all twisted up inside, like a stranger in his own skin.

"Ennis?" Tyler said softly, taking a step forward. "Are you all right?"

Ennis shook his head, took his hat off, and ran his fingers through his hair. His hat slipped from his fingers to land among the buttercups that carpeted the ground. He shook his head again, a lump in his throat. A cloud moved in front of the sun, cooling the air and stealing the brightness from the day.

"Ennis, what's wrong?" Tyler asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. At his touch, Ennis lost control of the feelings he'd kept in check for so long. He turned and crushed his lips to Tyler's, pulling him close, his hands buried in the blackness of Tyler's hair. Tyler's knees buckled and they fell to the earth, crushing the buttercups beneath their knees. His hands clutched Ennis to him, their strong chests straining together, their thighs rubbing together, on fire, igniting the hardness between them.

Ennis sucked in Tyler's lower lip, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and the dark sweetness of his mouth. The kiss went on and on, propelled by an urgency that confused and excited Ennis. Tyler ran his hand down Ennis's lower back and along the edge of his the sweat-soaked waistband of his jeans and then underneath his shirt. Tyler's hand touched his bare back and Ennis broke the kiss, freezing in place.

It took Tyler a moment to realize Ennis had stopped responding. He pulled his face away, breathing hard, and looked into the lighter brown eyes, which had filled with tears. A sob broke from Ennis's throat as he fell into the crook of Tyler's neck, his arms still around him, hanging on tight.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Shh . . ." Tyler felt his own eyes fill with tears.

"Tyler, I'm so sorry . . ."

"It's all right," Tyler whispered, he mouth close to Ennis's ear as he held him for a bit longer. They broke apart slowly, each wiping their eyes, to sit back on their legs, their knees still touching.

Ennis took Tyler's hand in both of his, but didn't look up into his eyes. "Tyler . . . this is hard for me. I ain't used to sayin' how I feel." He stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I let this happen again. I swore it wouldn't. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me lately." He took another deep breath and finally looked up into the dark eyes. "I can't do this with you, Tyler. I can't. Another time, another place, if there wasn't Jack, if Jack had never been part o' my life . . . I like you an awful lot, ya gotta know that, and I hope we can stay friends. I don't want to lose that. But there's Jack, an' ya know I love him. And the farm and the kids. I can't lose any of it," he trailed off into silence. Tyler rubbed his thumb over one of Ennis's, afraid to speak for fear he'd break down. "I know ya said ya just wanted t'ferget this happened and jus' go on like it didn't. I'm sorry I let it happen again, but I won't ferget it, Tyler, an' I won't lie t'ya and say it don't mean nothin', 'cause in spite of Jack an' the farm an' the kids an' all of it, it did mean somethin' t'me. You've helped me in a way ya prob'ly won't ever understand an' I'm grateful fer that." He disengaged his hands from Tyler's. "But I can't do no more."

Tyler met his eyes bravely. "I can't either, Ennis. I can't go on like I have been. It isn't fair to either one of us. I know that now." He looked down at his own hands. "You've helped me, too. You're right though, I can't just forget everything that's happened between us. I tried, but I can't do it." He looked back into Ennis's eyes. "I want to move on, though. I know that you'll never be mine. Even if you and Jack broke up and we got together, I know you'd resent me. It'd never work. You'll never be mine. _I know that_."

Ennis swallowed past the lump in his throat, started to speak, but had to stop to clear his throat. "Tyler, yer an amazing man. I hope ya find someone t'love ya like ya deserve. I want ya t'find happiness an' someone t'make ya happy."

Tyler dropped his eyes, brushing a hand across his cheeks to wipe the tears that started falling again.

"Don't cry, darlin'. Please . . ." Ennis whispered softly.

Tyler scrubbed at his cheeks. "I'm okay, Ennis. Really." He looked up and gave Ennis a meager smile.

"Ya sure?"

"I will be."

"Okay, come on."

Ennis stood and held out a hand to help Tyler up. They stepped out of the shadows of the trees, just as the sun broke through the clouds again. Ennis felt the sunlight wash through him, illuminating all the dark corners of his thoughts, and he felt a clarity he hadn't felt in weeks. In spite of what had happened with Tyler, he felt relieved and anxious to see Jack.

Tyler and Ennis went back to the stable and groomed the horses in silence, until they were done. Tyler started towards his car, but Ennis stopped him. "We'll be leaving in the morning and we'll be gone fer a week or so. Can you take care of ever'thing while we're gone? Is that too much t'ask of ya?" he asked gently.

"No, you and Jack know I'll be here to take care of the farm, Ennis. In spite of everything, I love this place, the horses, the land. I'll be here."

"The other guys'll be here t'help, but you know, and so do they, that yer the one in charge."

"I know." Tyler looked into Ennis's eyes, "Good-bye, Ennis." The finality of it did not escape Ennis. "You have a safe trip."

"Thanks, Tyler, we will."

Tyler turned and walked away.

Ennis went into the house and into the maelstrom of packing going on. Kelly was helping the girls gather their stuff that had become scattered throughout the house, while simultaneously helping Bobby pack a small bag for his trip to meet his paternal grandparents for the first time. Jack was in the bedroom packing for their camping trip, one suitcase open for both of them. Ennis bypassed them all and went straight to the shower, where he took his time.

They ate supper together, then Ennis and Jack packed their camping gear and all the suitcases into the car, then tucked the kids into bed. The went to bed soon after and Jack curled around Ennis. Ennis lay awake for a long time, feeling guilty for being in Jack's arms, yet feeling strangely detached about what had happened with Tyler. He knew the feeling would end, that he would crash back to reality, that he needed to share everything with Jack. He knew that there was a possibility that Jack wouldn't forgive him–that he'd leave him. But none of that penetrated the wall he'd built around himself, the wall that was keeping him together until he felt safe enough to let it down. He finally fell into an uneasy sleep, only to wake a few hours later to the blaring of the alarm.

Ennis dressed and went downstairs where he found Kelly stirring her coffee. She got a cup for Ennis and poured him a cup. Jack followed him down a minute later and put his arm around her as she poured him a cup. "You sure do take good care o' us, sweetheart."

Kelly blushed and looked down. "It isn't hard, Jack. You guys are wonderful." She turned away, "Now, I'm going to make a good breakfast for you all, to send you on your way properly." She went to the kitchen and busied herself with cooking bacon, eggs, and pancakes.

Ennis went to the door of Junior's bedroom and knocked. "Come in," she said. He opened the door and saw she was already dressed and sitting on her bed. "Morning, Daddy."

"Good morning, darlin'. Yer all ready, it looks like."

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess so."

He sat next to her on the bed and put his arm around her. "What's the matter, honey?"

She looked away, out the window. "Honestly? I don't wanna leave, Daddy. I love it here. I didn't think I would. In fact," she looked at him guiltily, "I wanted t'hate it. But I don't and I'm gonna miss everything so much. You, mostly, and Emma and Kelly and Bobby. And the horses. And Jack," she added more softly.

"We're all gonna miss you, too, darlin'," he replied, pulling her close. "I love you an' Franny so much. I wish we could see each other more often. The past two weeks have been wonderful, bein' able t'spend so much time with you girls. And I know Jack feels the same way– he loves you girls." Junior snuggled into his arms. "Kelly's makin' a big breakfast fer us. I better go wake yer sister up." He kissed her temple and stood up.

Franny was just coming out of her door when left Junior's room. She ran to Ennis and put her arms around him. "Do we halfta leave, Daddy? I wanna live here ferever an' ever."

"Now, Franny, what would yer momma say? She needs you girls at home with her."

"I know, but I love it here."

"Come on, let's eat breakfast."

"Oh, all right," she sighed and followed him to the table.

The mood at the table was subdued. The girls were sad to be leaving and everyone was sad to see them go. Afterwards, Junior and Franny hugged Kelly tight and promised to write her letters. Bobby hugged her good-bye and promised to be good and stay out of trouble. Jack hugged her again as he went out the door. She stopped Ennis and gave him a hug, whispering as she did, "I hope you and Jack can work out what you need to while you're gone, Ennis." He stiffened and pulled away, but she held onto his arm. "Things have been tense between you guys. I don't know _exactly _what caused it, but I hope you can work it out. I really do," she said kindly.

He relaxed and hugged her tight. "We will. I promise."

They finally got on the road and started on the journey. They stopped for dinner in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Jack grinned as their waitress approached. She was short and plump, with hair just going to gray. She smiled back at him warmly. "I remember you boys. Stopped here a few months ago, didn't you?"

"We sure did, Lillian. You talked us into the lemon meringue pie."

"I remember. Now, who do you have with you?"

"This here's my son Bobby, and these are Ennis's daughters, Junior and Franny."

"Hello, children. We got more of that lemon meringue pie. Got fresh strawberry, too, if you like that better." She twinkled a bright smile at them, "Now, what can I get you all?" She took their order, remembering that Jack liked his burger well-done. When they'd finished dinner and desert, Jack asked if there was a good motel nearby so they could stop for the night.

"There's a Holiday Inn down the road a bit. Just get back on the freeway heading west and you'll see it in a few minutes. Have a safe trip and stop here again sometime."

"Thank you, we will," Jack smiled at her.

They found the motel and checked in, but hesitated when they walked in the room. There were two double beds and Jack and Ennis hadn't thought about who would sleep where. Franny immediately pulled back the blankets on one bed and crawled in, tired and ready to sleep. Junior looked at Jack and Ennis, a question in her eyes, before following Franny and sitting on edge of the same bed. Bobby turned on the tv and sat on the end of the other bed. Jack pulled Ennis in the bathroom.

"Where're we gonna put ever'body?" Ennis asked.

"The girls can share a bed, we can share one, and we'll make up a bed fer Bobby on the floor."

Ennis chewed the edge of his thumbnail. "I dunno, Jack. I don't feel real comfortable sleepin' with you with the kids in the same room."

"It ain't like we're gonna be havin' sex, Ennis. They all know we share a bed." There was an edge to his voice.

"I know, but . . ."

"You got a better idea?"

Ennis thought for a minute. "No, I guess not."

"All right, then."

They made up a bed for Bobby and took turns using the bathroom to change into pajamas and brush teeth, then crawled wearily into their beds. Ennis faced away from Jack, but it wasn't long before he felt Jack turn over and put his arms around him. Ennis let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. It felt good to be in Jack's arms.

* * *

The next day they had breakfast at the same diner, but Lillian wasn't there, of course. It was late afternoon when they pulled into Riverton. Ennis stopped in front of the apartment by the laundromat, glancing at Jack as he did. Jack looked nervous. He hadn't seen Alma since that first meeting in 1967. Alma came down the stairs as they got out of the car. The girls ran to her, giggling and talking, trying to tell her all about their trip as quickly as possible.

"Sounds like you girls had a good time," she smiled at them.

"Oh, momma, we did," Franny gushed.

"I'm glad. Get yer suitcases out of the car." She pushed them gently towards the back of the car where Jack was unloading their things.

"Hi, Ennis. How'd it go?"

"Good. We had a good time. I was sorry t'have t'bring 'em home."

"I'm glad they had a good time." She looked at Jack, who was walking around the car carrying Franny's suitcase.

"Alma, you remember Jack Twist?"

She hesitated, her smile slipping a bit as a haunted look came into her eyes. "Of course I do. How are you, Jack?"

He flashed her a charming smile, "I'm good. How're you?"

"Fine."

"Where's Monroe?" Ennis asked.

"He had t'work."

"Well, we'll get going. Good-bye girls."

"Bye, Daddy," Franny said, wrapping her arms around Ennis and squeezing tight.

"I'll call ya when we get home. I love you, little darlin'."

"I love you, too, Daddy." She stepped away and wrapped her arms around Jack's waist. "Good-bye, Jack. I'm gonna miss you too." He hugged her back, noticing the surprised look that passed over Alma's face. Franny hugged Bobby next.

Junior put her arms around her dad, giving him a long hug. "Bye, Daddy. I love you. Call as soon as you get back or I'm gonna worry."

He smiled gently, "Yes, ma'am, I will. I wouldn't want ya t'worry 'bout me. I love you too."

Junior hugged Bobby, then stood in front of Jack shyly. "Good-bye, Jack."

"Bye, sweetheart. Would it be okay if I gave ya a hug?" She nodded, so he reached out and pulled her into his arms. "Take care of my daddy," she whispered in his ear.

"I will, don't you worry, sweetheart."

Jack, Ennis, and Bobby got back in the car and started toward Casper, where they were planning to spend the night before going up to Lightning Flat in the morning.


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

_Sunday, August 22, 1976_

Jack fiddled with the radio dial, but couldn't find anything besides the white drone of static, so he finally gave up and turned it off. He glanced over at Ennis, who had barely said anything since leaving the motel that morning. He understood his nervousness. Now that they were so close to Lightning Flat, he was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea after all. He wanted to talk about it, coming here, but he wasn't sure if Ennis would even respond and, more importantly, he didn't want to talk about it in front of Bobby. He desperately wanted the trip to be a good one for his son. He wasn't worried about his mom. He knew she'd treat him good and probably even spoil him a little, if she got the chance. She was the reason his life had been bearable growing up. If it had been just him and his dad he didn't know if he'd even be here. They'd have either killed each other or he'd have turned out as sour and miserable as John Twist, Sr. He looked at Ennis again, wondering how his daddy was going to react to Ennis. They didn't plan on staying long, so he hoped they could all make it through as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"You nervous?" he asked Ennis, more to break the silence than anything, because he knew the answer.

Ennis sighed deeply and said, "Yeah, a little."

Not long after, they pulled into a narrow dirt road. It lead to a lone house, a tiny brown stucco with a porch stretched across the front. Ennis could see some stock in the distance, could tell they were black baldies, but not their condition. The grass was high in most places, looking like it didn't get mowed. There was a desolation in the place that rose the hairs on the back of Ennis's neck and made his heart ache for the boy-Jack. He glanced at Jack, the man, with a soft look in his eyes.

Jack stopped the car in front of the house. His eyes narrowed as he looked around. He forgot, in between times, how bleak his childhood home was. Living with Lureen, and now Ennis, provided a stark comparison. Sadly, it seemed to get worse every year and there was no sign that it would ever get better. Guilt crept into the back of his throat and perched there like a warty toad.

"This home?"

"Yep."

"Let's go in, Daddy. What're we waitin' for?"

"Yeah, okay, come on then," Jack said, opening his door, just as the door to the house opened and his momma stepped out. He smiled and pulled her into his arms. "Momma, I've missed you." He kissed her cheek and stepped back, a bright-as-sunshine smile still on his face.

His mom kept her hands on his forearms as she took a long look at him. "Jack, it's so good to see you, son. You should come home more often."

"I know, Momma," he said, dropping his gaze, the toad settling back into the throat.

Bobby got out of the car and stood next to it uncertainly.

"This must be my grandson. He's so handsome, just like his daddy."

"Hello, ma'am," Bobby said.

"Oh, honey, I'd be pleased if you'd call me grandma."

"Okay, grandma," Bobby said, as she pulled him into a hug.

Ennis walked around the back of the car, unwilling to intrude and unsure of what to do. Jack's mom looked up as Jack cleared his throat. "Momma, this here's Ennis Del Mar. I told you all about him. Ennis, this is my momma, Grace Twist."

Ennis nodded and said, "'Lo, ma'am, nice t'meet ya."

Grace smiled at him and replied, "It's nice t'meet you, too, Ennis. Come on in now, have some coffee."

They followed her inside and were met with John Twist, seated at the far end of the table. Jack took his hat off, dropped his blue eyes, and nodded. "Hey, Daddy. Nice t'see you." He indicated Bobby, who stood next to him. "This is my son, Bobby, your grandson."

Bobby smiled timidly at his grandfather and said, "Hello, Sir."

John looked him up and down, his sour look softening the tiniest bit, before his eyes moved up to Ennis standing behind Bobby.

"This is my friend, Ennis Del Mar. We own the farm in Minnesota together."

John didn't say anything at first, just fixed Ennis with a look that burned and chilled him at the same time. Finally, he said, "Well, don't just stand there. Sit down. I need t'pull the chairs out for you too?" Ennis and Jack each took a seat, while Bobby stood next to his daddy.

"You want a cup of coffee, don'cha? Piece of cherry cake?" Grace asked from the counter.

"Sure, thanks, Momma."

Ennis smiled at her. "Yes, ma'am, I'll take a cup of coffee, but I can't eat no cake jus' now." Grace poured him a steaming cup of coffee and set it in front of him, resting her hand on his shoulder. She was solemn and calm, with a tired, careworn look about her, as if she was worn out from life. He looked across the table at Jack's father. John Twist looked worn out too, but there was a hardness to him that was absent in his wife and son. He spit some chew into a cup and looked at Ennis with a sour expression on his face. _Jack musta been adopted, _he thought, _'cause I sure can't imagine him comin' from these two. _Jack could be quiet, sometimes, but was rarely solemn and, though he might get irritated or angry, he was never sour.

Grace brought Jack and Bobby each a piece of cake, with coffee for Jack and milk for Bobby.

"You boys are going camping? Where to?" Grace asked.

"Headin' up to Brokeback Mountain for a couple days, at least. Ain't no mountains in Minnesota. We got ta missin' 'em."

"Well, I'm pleased to have Bobby stay here with us for a few days."

"He can ride a horse, can't he? 'Spect him t'help out around here."

"Yes, sir, I can ride real good. Ennis taught me." Bobby glanced at Ennis, warmth in his eyes.

"Now, John, he's just a little boy. You ain't gonna make him work while he's here," Grace said.

John colored slightly, "Didn't say I was gonna work him hard, but he can make the rounds with me. See his grandpa's farm."

The hint of a smile crossed Jack's face. _If he's sayin' he's his grandpa, that's a real good sign._

"What happened to your arm, Bobby?" Grace asked.

"I fell off my bike."

"He can't get it wet, Momma. No swimming and he has t'be real careful in the bathtub."

"How's your farm doing?" Grace asked Ennis.

"Hmmp . . . well, it's doin' real good. We breed Quarter and Miniature horses."

"What are miniature horses?" Grace asked.

"They're real little horses. I take care of 'em, mostly," Bobby said, his eyes lighting up. "Next time I come I can bring a picture. Or maybe I can send you one."

"How'd you end up with this farm?" John asked.

"My uncle left it to me when he died a few months ago."

"And how'd Jack end up there?"

"Daddy . . ." Jack started. "I already talked t'you and Momma about this."

"You talked about it, but you didn't really say anything."

"John, why don't you take Bobby out and show him the horses. Make sure to bring in his suitcase from the car when you come back in."

John pushed back his chair with a little more force than necessary. "Come on, then. If you're gonna stay here, you better know where everything is," he said as they went out the door.

Grace glanced at Jack and put her hand on his. "Don't worry, Son. He's getting calmer with age. He's just puttin' on a show for you boys." She patted his hand and looked at Ennis before returning her eyes to Jack. "I wanted to tell you how happy I am for you, Jack. I don't think I've ever seen you look so happy."

"I am, Momma, I am."

"You deserve it, honey."

Jack sniffed and blinked quickly, then stood up. "I gotta get somethin' from my room. Come with me, Ennis?"

"Uh, sure Jack."

He followed Jack up a steep stair. The room was tiny and hot, with a narrow bed against the wall, an ink-stained desk and wooden chair, a b.b. gun in a hand-whittled rack over the bed. The window looked down the long gravel road and he realized that this was the only road Jack knew as a boy. Jack was in the closet, a shallow cavity with a wooden rod braced across with a curtain hanging from it to separate it from the rest of the room.

"Come here, I got somethin' t'show you."

Ennis stepped into the small space with him, just as Jack pulled something out of a small jog in the wall at the back of the closet. Jack held up an old denim shirt, flat against his chest, his eyes dark and luminous in the dimness of the closet, his heart in their blue depths.

Ennis touched the sleeve of the shirt, recognized it as Jack's old shirt from Brokeback days. The dried blood was his, from the last day, when Jack had accidently slammed his nose hard with his knee. Jack had staunched the blood with his sleeve, this sleeve. Ennis felt an extra heaviness in it and saw there was another shirt inside, his own plaid shirt from Brokeback, the sleeves carefully worked down into Jack's sleeves, the pair like two skins, two in one. He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed deep. He looked up into Jack's eyes, unable to breath, unable to move, seeing the love in those eyes. He touched the darkness on the sleeve gently. Jack had taken his shirt. Jack had known, even then. He reached out a trembling hand to Jack's cheek and cupped it, running his thumb over the wet trail of Jack's tears.

Ennis's eyes were shaded, but Jack could see they were full, the brown eyes swimming in tears. "Nearly killed me t'have to leave you. Carried these with me those four years after Brokeback. Slept with 'em most times, 'til I got married. I brought 'em here after we got back together. Knew they'd be safe."

The tears, unable to be contained any longer, fell from the brown eyes. "Oh, darlin'." Ennis bowed his head into the twined sleeves, felt them dry the tears for him. He looked back up and took a step toward Jack, took him in his arms. Ennis met his lips in a soft kiss. "Jack, darlin' . . . I don't know . . . I got no words . . ." he paused, took a deep breath, finished softly, "I love you. So much."

Jack smiled, lighting up the closet like sunshine after a rain, then kissed Ennis with fire. "I love you, too, baby." They stood there, the shirts between them, foreheads together, in each others' arms, wrapped in reverence, until Jack broke away.

"Bobby'll be bringing his suitcase up in a minute."

"You're bringing those with us, ain't you?"

Jack kissed him gently. "Course I am. They belong with us, in _our_ home."

Ennis felt a sharp pain in his heart. He hoped Jack still felt like that after what he had to tell him. Unknown to him, Jack was having similar thoughts.

* * *

Beau stripped off his gloves, wiped his arm across his forehead, and watched Tyler latch the paddock gate, then head for the house. They were both at the farm later than usual and Kelly was making them supper. Beau opened the door and saw Kelly sitting on the bench, putting her shoes on.

"Oh, hi, Beau, I have to get going. Mom has the night off and she doesn't want to eat alone. Supper's on the table. If you could just clear the table and rinse the dishes when you're done, I'll do them in the morning."

"Sure thing. Bye," he said to her retreating back. The kitchen, dining area, and living room were empty. _Tyler must be washing up. Guess I could stand a good wash myself._

A few minutes later, they sat down together, both cleaner, and ate mostly in silence for a while, making small talk about the weather and the farm. After a while, Beau narrowed his eyes and put down his fork. "You feel like talking, Tyler? Seems like something's really bothering you."

Tyler looked at him from under his lashes, finished chewing, and pushed his plate away. He didn't say anything, so Beau forged on. "Does it have anything to do with you and Ennis?"

"There isn't anything between me and Ennis," he said.

Beau looked at him for a long moment. "It's pretty clear to me that there _is_ something, even if it's not what you want, or don't want, there to be."

Tyler looked up, his eyes wide. "What do you mean, it's clear to you? Do you . . . do you think it's clear to everyone?"

"You mean Jack?"

Tyler nodded, not daring to look away.

"I don't think Jack knows, but he's pretty blinded by love right now. I can see that, too."

"What are you, the great seeing-eye?" Tyler smiled wanly.

"No, but I'm a pretty good at picking up on things, people's behavior, the looks that pass between them, their body language."

"I don't know what to do, Beau. I don't want to hurt Ennis or Jack. I don't know how I got into this mess . . ."

"Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Tyler shook his head. "How about just dated someone? Kissed a guy?"

"No, I guess I haven't really dated. In case you haven't noticed, this isn't exactly the gay mecca of the world."

"Yeah. We seem to be all converging at the farm." This got a small smile from Tyler. "You didn't answer my second question, though. Have you ever kissed a guy?"

"Yes, I have." He stood up and gathered up his plate, silverware, and glass and brought them to the sink, turned on the faucet and started rinsing them. Beau followed him and put his plate the counter, then put a hand on each side of Tyler. Tyler's hands stopped moving and he drew in a breath. "What are you doing?"

Beau put his mouth right next to the dark skin of Tyler's neck and said softly, "Can I ask you another question?"

"What?"

"Have you ever been with a guy?"

"That's not really any–"

"I know it's not my business. I'm still asking, though."

Tyler felt Beau's breath on his neck. "No, not really."

Beau's hands left the counter and came to rest on Tyler's hips. "I think you're incredibly sexy," he whispered.

Tyler's heart started pounding. He took a deep breath and could smell the musky scent of Beau, could feel a fluttering in his stomach, and a stirring in his groin. He took another breath, trying to push the feelings away.

Beau pulled Tyler's t-shirt out of his jeans and ran his hands across the hard stomach. Tyler took an involuntary breath in and inadvertently backed into Beau. The stirring in his groin turned to hardness as he felt the stiffness of Beau's arousal pushing against him. He arched his head back as Beau's lips met his neck. Beau pulled him even closer, continuing to explore Tyler's neck with his lips and Tyler's stomach and chest with his hands. Small, deep sounds filled the air around them. When Beau finally stopped, the air was heavy with desire and the sounds of their breathing.

"Turn around."

Tyler turned, his eyes downcast. One hand still on Tyler's hip, he put the other under the bronze chin and raised it to meet his eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

A sparkle came into the dark brown eyes. "I think you already did."

"I mean here." Beau touched a finger to Tyler's lips, his head already moving forward, not waiting for an answer. Their lips met once and Beau drew back, a question in his eyes. Tyler answered it with his lips, meeting Beau's again, their mouths open, tongues seeking their mates. Beau pulled him closer and his own hands went instinctively to Beau's waist. Beau's hands moved up, to his face, to tangle in his hair, then back down and underneath his t-shirt again. He pushed it up Tyler's chest, then moved his hands down Tyler's bare arms, entwining their fingers together when he reached them. They broke apart and dark eyes met light, confusion hiding in the depths of the Tyler's eyes.

"I have to go," Beau whispered and stepped back. "See you tomorrow."

Outside, Beau leaned against the door for a few moments, wondering what had possessed him to do what he'd done. He didn't want to play second fiddle to anyone, but he'd been unable to stop himself, especially once he'd started, until the confusion in Tyler's eyes seemed to bring him back to his senses.

Inside, Tyler collapsed against the counter, feeling dazed. He touched his lips, remembering the way Beau had felt and tasted. Heat came to his cheeks as the thought about what might have happened if Beau hadn't stopped it. He was glad, and maybe a little disappointed, that nothing had happened. He thought of Ennis and was glad he and Beau had gone no further, especially in this house. He looked around, realized the table still needed to be cleared, so he did it, then got in his car and drove home, his thoughts in a turmoil of conflicting emotions.


	27. Chapter 26

I've had some trouble posting on lately, so I thought I'd say that my story is also available on my livejournal account at http/racchelle. lyrics in the first two paragraphs are from the song_ Lover's Cross _by Jim Croce. They are not mine–I just borrowed them.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Angels fall  
(ordinary peopleangels all)  
fall from grace  
(he loves me)  
I fall from grace  
(then turns away)  
with every kiss I falter  
(denies me with his lips)  
though every kiss is sweet  
sweeter than the last  
(his heart is breaking)  
perfection begins to elude me  
(mine is already broken)  
every kiss he gives me  
(every kiss is given)  
elicits  
(illicitly)  
perfection in this day  
every kiss draws me closer  
(every kiss is sealed)  
to heaven  
(in hell)  
and cradles me in grace  
(I fall from grace)

_Sunday, August 22, 1976_

_I guess that it was bound to happen, was just a matter of time . . . now I've come to my conclusion and it's one of the painful kind . . . 'cause now it seems that you wanted a martyr–just a regular guy wouldn't do, but baby I can't hang upon your lover's cross for you . . ._

_. . . tables are meant for turning and people are bound to change and bridges are meant for burning when the people and memories they join aren't the same . . ._

The song disappeared into static, so Ennis turned it off. The late summer greens of the trees and grasses faded into each other, creating a crazy quilt pattern in their light and shadows. The mountains overshadowed them, a looming touchstone of home. A small sigh escaped from his chest, his joy muted by the knowledge that he could have no secrets here. No secrets would be allowed in the ocean of trees, in the cradle of the mountains, where he came to know happiness, joy, and love, a lifetime ago.

Jack concentrated on driving. They were close now, to the old drop-off, meeting point. Without a truck or horses, they could not return to their old campsite, unless they hiked in, which would mean hauling everything with them, and they weren't prepared to do that. He parked the car and looked around, turned to Ennis. "Well, what do you think?"

Ennis spotted a small clearing close to the river, across the bridge. "How 'bout there?" Jack nodded in agreement and they started setting up camp, falling easily into their old patterns. Jack was a little disconcerted by the familiarity of it, and yet, there was comfort in being here, in the wilderness, just the two of them. They each felt it and wrapped it around themselves like a warm blanket.

They sat, backs propped against a large log, a fire crackling in front of them, staring up at the brilliant night sky. Ennis reached for Jack's hand, entwining his fingers with Jack's, palms pressed together, and he was infused with a sense of peace. "Starlight, starbright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight," he said, his words almost lost in their softness. "My momma used ta say that an' make us wish on the star."

Jack smiled at him and squeezed his hand, then returned his gaze to the heavens. "Looks like yer a little late fer that first star, bud."

"Guess it just means I get a million wishes."

"What would you wish for?"

"I already got what I wished for, Jack."

Jack smiled and said, "Me too."

Some time later, Jack yawned and stretched. "I'm ready for bed, cowboy. How 'bout you?"

"Yeah, me too," Ennis replied, following Jack into the tent. They stripped down and crawled in between the sleeping bags they'd zipped together to make into one large one. Ennis curled around Jack, the memory of their first stay here, on Brokeback, enveloping him, like the sleeping bag, in a warm cocoon. He drew Jack closer, felt the kiss that was planted on his arm, and sighed a bittersweet sigh. He was lulled to sleep by the crackling of the fire, the gentle roar of the river, and the soft sighing of the wind in the trees around them.

During the night, he awoke to another fire. Still wrapped around him, Jack had guided his hand to his erect cock. This time, instead of jerking his hand away, like that first night, he nuzzled his face into Jack's neck, kissing and tasting, running his hand up and down the silky hardness, before getting to his knees and hauling Jack to all fours. He entered him with the clear slick and the lube Jack handed him. He thrust frantically for moment, slowed, then stopped, leaned in to Jack and asked, "You all right, darlin'?"

"Yes . . ." It came out as a soft plea as Jack arched back into him, urging him to go on.

Afterwards, Ennis fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, protected by Jack's strong arms wrapped around him. He woke in the early morning, while the light was still the pale color of bone, untangled himself from Jack, grabbed his jeans, shirt, and boots, and slipped outside. When Jack came out an hour later, he had breakfast ready. They said little while they ate and when they were done, Jack took their dishes to the river to wash them. Ennis stayed seated by the fire, his eyes on Jack until he finished, returned the dishes to the box, and sat down beside him.

Jack broke the silence. "We got some stuff to talk about, Ennis."

"I know."

"Are you sorry you asked me to stay with you?"

"No! No, Jack." He looked down at his hands, then asked, "Are you sorry you said yes? Decided to move to the farm with me?"

"God, no, Ennis." He paused. "Except, I feel like what happened to Lureen was my fault. If I hadn't told her I wanted a divorce . . . she'd never have gone out that night. She'd have gone to work, like normal, then came home and would've been in bed sleeping, instead of out drinking and riding with someone who'd been drinking."

"Jack, that ain't your fault. She coulda got killed on the way home from work, just as easy. She coulda called a cab, or you, or her parents. She made her choice."

Silence again.

"Jack, I got somethin' t'tell ya."

Fear clenched at Jack, holding his heart in a death-grip. He looked to Ennis's eyes, which skipped away from his own.

"I . . . god, Jack, this is so hard."

"Just say it, Ennis."

Ennis took a deep breath in, looked at Jack from under his eyelashes. "I love you, Jack, and I have for as long as I can remember. As long as the first summer here. From the very beginning." He took another deep breath, said softly, "I don't want you t'hate me, darlin'."

"Jesus christ, Ennis, spit it the fuck out."

"Ya know how, when we was first here, on the mountain, I told ya I wasn't a queer?"

Jack looked at him, confusion crowding out the fear and dread in his eyes. "Yeah, so?"

"Well, I really believed that, then. I needed to believe that. I thought loving you was just a one-time thing, a force of nature I couldn't control. But now . . . now I know the truth. Jack, I really am queer."

Jack looked away, his eyes clouded, and asked, "How do you know? What made you change yer mind and admit it?"

"For the first time, since you, I was attracted to someone else. I tried to fight it, I tried to hide from it, but I couldn't. It made me realize that it's men I'm attracted to, not women. No woman has ever made me feel the way you do. Or the way . . ." he trailed off.

"Tyler makes you feel?"

Ennis looked at him sharply.

"Oh, come on, Ennis, I'm not fuckin' blind."

They were silent for a few moments, before Jack asked, "That all you gotta tell me?"

"No." The word caught in his throat and tears sprang to his eyes.

The color drained from Jack's face as he clenched his teeth and felt the sickly-sweet taste of bile in the back of his throat.

"I . . . kissed him . . . twice," Ennis said, the tears falling. "Jack, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jack." He reached out a hand to Jack's arm. Jack shook it off and stood up. "Jack . . "

Jack started for the river, bent over when he reached it. He heard Ennis's footsteps behind him. "Leave me alone."

"Jack, please."

Jack turned, his eyes dark with anger. "Goddammit, Ennis! Give me a fuckin' minute!" He walked away, down the river, and behind a stand of trees, where he stopped and braced himself against a strong trunk, each breath ripped out of him by an iron fist. He wiped away the tears that fell, hot and angry. Long minutes passed before he was able to take a deep breath. He took a few more steadying breaths before walking back to where he'd left Ennis.

"You kissed him?" he asked, without preamble. Ennis nodded. "He kiss you back?"

"Yeah."

"So, this attraction is a mutual thing?"

"I guess so."

"So, were you both laughing at me while you were making out?"

Ennis looked up quickly and said, "God, no, Jack. No. I'd never do that to you. And I know it probably don't make no difference, but we didn't make out. It was just a kiss. Only lasted a few seconds."

"When?"

"What?"

"When? When the fuck did it happen?"

"During that storm, right after the girls got there. And the day before we left fer Wyoming."

Jack put his hands over his face and turned away, feeling nauseous. "Oh fuck. _Fuck_!"

They stood there for a while, the harsh sound of Jack's breathing the only sound in the air. When he turned back, his face had hardened. "When did it start, Ennis? Right away?"

"No, Jack. I don't know, a few weeks ago, I guess."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Talk about it with me? Maybe it woulda never got to the point where you felt you had ta kiss him."

"I don't know, Jack, I really don't. You were so worried about the stuff with L.D. and Bobby . . ."

"You ain't trying to say this is _my _fault, are you?"

"No, that ain't what I meant. Just, everything was so crazy and it just sorta happened. I thought I could handle it all on my own. I guess I couldn't."

"Are you in love with him?"

Ennis hesitated, searching his heart, before replying, "No, Jack, I'm not in love with him. You're the only one, _the only one, _I've _ever_ loved." His eyes sought Jack's, his heart in his own, his stomach in knots, his heart aching, desperately wanting Jack to believe him.

Jack turned and walked away. "I need to be alone fer a bit."

Ennis stood there for a long time, watching Jack walk away and disappear in the trees near the bank of the river. After a while, he realized Jack wasn't coming right back. He went to the fire and put another log on, thinking they didn't have much firewood, so he took the saw and axe and went into the forest to look for fallen trees. He put all of his energy into cutting and chopping enough wood for several days. Jack still hadn't returned when exhaustion finally forced him to quit.

Jack was seated on a rock that jutted into the river, close to the campsite, but unseen. He heard a noise and looked up to see Ennis dive into the water. He came up and shook his hair, the droplets flying and sparkling in the sunlight. Jack's eyes lingered on the long, lean lines of Ennis's torso, the rise of his chest, the chorded muscles of his forearms, and, as he turned to dive back into the water, the flat planes of his back. Ennis disappeared under the water and Jack put his head down on his knees. He couldn't control his trembling, couldn't shake the nausea that gripped him. He wanted to hit someone and he wanted to crawl into bed and never come out. His heart felt heavy, so heavy. _Is it worth it? All my love, everything I've given him? How could he do this to me? Goddammit, why? Why did he do this? _He wanted to hate Ennis, wanted to hate Tyler. He scrubbed his hands over his face, as a memory came to his mind, as vibrant as if it had just happened. He and Ennis, seated on the deck, the first time they got to the farm. Jack, crying tears of happiness and Ennis, tender and sweet, knelt in front of him.

"_Jack. You been askin' me fer years fer that sweet life. I was so afraid. Too afraid t' do it." He sniffed, felt the tears in his own eyes. "And then, here it is. Dropped in my lap. I'd hafta be some kind of an asshole or the world's biggest fuckin' idiot not t'know that this is my chance. But it don't mean nothin' without you, darlin'. Nothin', ya hear me?" He sniffed again. Jack still hadn't said anything or even looked at him. "But it's up t'you, Jack, if ya wanna be a part of it with me. I'll understand if ya changed yer mind." He looked down at their clasped hands, afraid that this might be true._

_Jack finally looked at him, turning his head slowly. Ennis looked up to meet his eyes. "I ain't changed my mind, Ennis. I never would. I'm yours, you know that. Have been since the minute I saw you standin' in front of Aguirre's trailer." He stood up, pulling Ennis with him, and pulled him into a tight hug._

Tears sprang to his eyes, with this memory. Things had seemed so simple then. That sweet life he'd been wanting had just fallen in their laps._ I shoulda realized that ain't nothin' easy. Gotta work at it. _A small voice, deep inside him, asked accusingly,_ "Ain't things worth more, the harder ya gotta work for 'em? What makes love any different? People make mistakes, you oughta know that, Jack, well as anyone. Maybe more."_

He looked out at the water and saw Ennis heading for the shore, his shoulders slumped. Jack stood up and went back to their camp, emerged from the trees just as Ennis was pulling on a clean t-shirt, went to the fire and sat down.

"You hungry, Jack?"

"No, but I could use a drink."

"All we got is soda or some coffee still hot from this morning."

"Take a cup o' that, then."

Ennis poured them each one and sat down across from him, the silence wearing heavy between them. Finally, Ennis asked softly, "Jack, ain't you ever been attracted to anyone besides me? You ever kissed someone else?"

Blue eyes narrowed and burned into him, then looked away. The question hung between them for a long time, until Jack said, "Yeah, I have."

Ennis looked away, swallowed hard, looked back. "You ever done more than kiss?"

"Ennis."

"Jack."

"You really wanna know?"

"I think I need to know."

"Truth is, yeah, I done more than kissing with other guys."

"More?" Ennis whispered, his voice full of disbelief. "No, Jack, you're just sayin' that to hurt me 'cause I hurt you."

Jack's eyes softened a bit. "No, I ain't Ennis."

Ennis shook his head and Jack barely heard the whispered, "When?"

"Ennis . . ."

"Jack, when, goddammit!"

"After we met up here, after we left. I didn't think I'd see you ever again."

"But what about after we got back together? You do anything after that?"

"Ennis, were never _together _until this spring when you asked me to live with you and share a life with you. I never knew for sure if I'd be seeing you again." His heartache gave his words more bite than intended.

"What do you mean, we weren't together? Yes, we were! In my heart, we were."

"You were married to Alma."

"But my heart was _yours_!"

"Ennis, I ain't like you! You got no fuckin' idea how bad it got. I couldn't make it on a couple of high altitude fucks once or twice a year. There were times I wish I'd known how to quit you."

"Why didn't you, then? Save us both a lot of fuckin' heartache."

"Because I couldn't! Don't you understand? I love you, too. Loved you from the beginning, too. But I ain't as strong as you, Ennis!"

"You are too, Jack, you just didn't wanna be strong." He turned his face away, swallowed hard before looking back, eyes burning, "So, what, if I go away fer a few days, to get the girls or something, you gonna find someone to fill my place fer that time? 'Cause you can't keep yer dick in yer pants?"

"You're the one that found someone else while we've been living together."

"I didn't _fuck _Tyler!" He stood and turned away, his fists clenched at his sides.

"But you wanted to."

Ennis whirled around, jaw tight, eyes bright with tears unshed. "Maybe I did want to, I don't know. But _I didn't do it_, Jack!"

The words hung between them for a long time, until, unable to stop himself, Ennis asked, "Did you love any of them other guys?"

"No, Ennis. I don't even remember their names."

Ennis laughed, a harsh sound with no humor in it. "I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse."

"I'm sorry."

Ennis's eyes narrowed as he contemplated Jack's face for a moment, then he turned and walked away.

"Where are you going?"

Ennis stopped and turned around, his fists still clenched tight, knuckles white. "I gave you your time, Jack, now I need some." Jack was chilled by the coldness in his voice.

Ennis stumbled blindly through the trees, his eyes full of pictures of Jack and other men, seeing them with their dicks in his mouth, in his ass; picturing those lips, that he thought were only for him, wrapped around someone else's cock. He stumbled and fell to his knees, sobbing and retching. He heaved until nothing else came up and still his stomach clenched. When it finally stopped, he crawled away and lay on the ground, tears leaking from his eyes. He lay there for a long time, unable to move, unable to banish the pictures from his head. He must have dozed off for a while, because he became aware that the horrible images were gone, replaced with a memory.

"_Jack, truth is . . . I . . . I'm scared." His voice was rough. "I don' want ta go through another thirteen years like we done. I been miserable my whole fuckin' life . . . 'cept when I'm with you, darlin'," he finished softly. He took out a cigarette, lit it, took a long drag, said stronger, "I ain't feelin' sorry fer m'self and I ain't blamin' no one. My lot in life–ain't no ones fault, it's jus' the way it is." He sighed and took another long drag on the cigarette, passed it to Jack for a drag. "I tol' ya once that if ya can't fix it, ya gotta stand it. I was wrong, Jack. I was wrong, an' I'm sorry. I know now that it shoulda been the other way 'round. If ya can't stand somethin' ya gotta fix it. I reckon I'm gettin' some kinda chance ta fix things. I don' wanna fuck it up, Jack." He rubbed his eyes with his palms and finally looked over to meet Jack's eyes again._

_Jack tossed the cigarette out the window and pulled over on a deserted side road. Ennis just looked at him with a question in his eyes. When the truck stopped, Jack turned to Ennis and reached out for him. Ennis went instinctively into Jack's arms, his face in Jack's neck. "I'm scared, too, Ennis." He pulled back a little, put his hands on the sides of Ennis's face and drew him close for a soft kiss. "I'm scared, but I got somethin' in my heart I ain't had fer a long time. Too long. I got hope . . . hope fer us, Ennis, and I ain't lettin' that go jus' yet." He kissed him again, longer this time. "I love you, Ennis. I know we ain't never said that afore and you don't gotta say it back if you can't, but I want ya ta know how I feel."_

_Ennis dropped his eyes, felt tears forming in them, felt like his tongue was tied in a damn knot, unable to speak. He cleared his throat, looked up and met Jack's lips with his own in a desperate kiss that went on and on. Ennis felt himself fall apart, breaking into a million tiny pieces, only to be put back together almost immediately. In this rebuilding, he felt a change in himself, an acceptance of the part of himself that he had always pushed down and beaten away in a desperate attempt not to face it. When he broke the kiss, he pulled back only far enough to rest his head against Jack's. "Darlin'. . ." _

_Jack drew further back, met Ennis's eyes, moved forward to kiss him again. A soft kiss. He drew back, eyes met again, then another kiss. Jack drew back one more time, his eyes only making it open half-way, darkened with desire, longing, and hope. _

The light began to fade before he sat up and walked slowly back to their camp.

Jack had made supper, a steak and baked potato for each of them, so Ennis forced himself to eat a little, noticed Jack didn't eat much either. They finished and Ennis washed the dishes. While he was at the river, Jack went to bed, but Ennis didn't follow until much later. When he did go in the tent, he saw Jack hadn't separated the sleeping bags, so he crawled in next to him, making sure he didn't touch him.

Jack felt Ennis come to bed, but kept his back to him and his breathing even. When he thought Ennis was sleeping, he turned over. He looked at Ennis's face in the dark and was surprised when his eyes opened and he saw himself reflected in the dark depths. They stared at each other for a long time, their faces inches apart.

"Well," Jack said softly, "This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation."

"Yeah."

"I don't know what's worse, Ennis, me having meaningless sex with strangers when you thought I was bein' true, or you, kissing and having emotional feelings for someone when we're living together."

"I don't know either, Jack. Not right now, I don't. All I know is I'm fuckin' tired and I don't wanna fight no more tonight. I just wanna go to sleep."

"Yeah, me too."

Silence filled the tent, but neither slept for a long time.

Ennis awoke in the morning, surrounded by warmth and a heaviness across his chest and legs. Sometime during the night, Jack had draped himself over Ennis, which was a common occurrence, under normal circumstances. He turned his head into Jack's hair and breathed deeply, finding intense comfort in the familiar smell.

Jack had awakened before Ennis, jarred awake by something unknown. He felt Ennis beneath him and struggled with his instinct to snuggle closer and the feeling that he should, maybe even wanted to, move away. Before he could decide, though, a picture appeared before his eyes. Another morning, sunshine-bright, like this one. He and Ennis, in bed, facing each other.

_It was Jack who broke the silence. "I think I could stay here the whole day."_

_Ennis smiled finally. "Yeah, ya are kinda lazy sometimes, bud."_

_Jack didn't take the bait. "I mean here with you, asshole."_

"_Oh, well, when ya put it so sweetly . . ." Ennis smirked at him._

_They were silent for a while longer, their grins fading to solemness._

_Jack broke the silence again, "I mean it, Ennis, I could stay here with you, forever."_

_Ennis watched Jack's face, this face that he loved and worshiped, had memorized every detail of. Finally, he spoke, "Would you?"_

_Jack blinked, his blue eyes widening the tiniest bit, unsure he'd heard right, wanting to ask, lightly, _Would I what? _or_ Is that a proposal? _but he knew that might spook Ennis. He hesitated, trying to control his heart, which had started beating so fast he thought for sure it was going to beat right out of his chest. Jack knew this for the sacred moment it was and all thought of making light disappeared. "Yeah, Ennis, I would. I will, if you're askin' what I think you're askin'."_

_Ennis, whose own heart had started beating out of control the moment the question left his lips, felt a peace settle over him. It was a feeling he'd never experienced before. "I am." His brown eyes met the blue ones and neither looked away for a long time._

When Ennis turned his head, Jack knew he was awake, so he sat up, his back almost to Ennis. "So, what d'ya think we oughta do? Guess we both hurt each other real bad," he said.

"Guess we did." Ennis sat up, felt their knees touch under the sleeping bag as they sat, side by side. "You were right, though, all those years, I had no claim on you. You were free t'do what you wanted. It's my fault we were apart. I'm sorry, Jack."

"Don't say that, Ennis. I knew what we had. In my heart, we were together too. I don't know why I did the things I did, except that I know I ain't as strong as you were. And Ennis, I lied to you right from the very beginning. I knew I was queer–always have. I wish . . . I wish it hadn't taken Tyler to make you realize it in yourself. Wish I coulda been enough for you."

"Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry. I got no excuses. I'm sorry I let it happen. But, Jack, you're the one I love. The only one. I hope you know that, if you don't know nothin' else."

Jack heard the tears, heard the anguish in Ennis's voice. He turned, finally, and took Ennis in his arms. They clung together and the wounds they'd inflicted upon each other, for years, began to knit and heal. It was a start. They drew back from the hug and looked into each others' eyes, seeing the truth in them, then leaned in for a tentative kiss. In that kiss, they realized that broken hearts can be mended, that redemption and forgiveness can make a person stronger, if given a chance. Things could not be torqued back to where they had been, but they could go on from here and grow from their mistakes.


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

_Jack heard the tears, heard the anguish in Ennis's voice. He turned, finally, and took Ennis in his arms. They clung together and the wounds they'd inflicted upon each other, for years, began to knit and heal. They drew back from the hug and looked into each others' eyes, seeing the truth in them, then leaned in for a tentative kiss. In that kiss, they realized that broken hearts can be mended, that redemption and forgiveness can make a person stronger, if given a chance. Things could not be torqued back to where they had been, but they could go on from here and grow from their mistakes._

They drew apart, their eyes locked, not wavering, until Jack started to smile. Seeing those lips lift and the starshine sparkle come into those blue, blue eyes, Ennis couldn't stop his own lips from smiling. The brown eyes, so recently dark and opaque, became lit from within, the color of honey lit through with sunshine. Hesitant smiles became grins and Jack leaned forward and met Ennis's lips for another kiss, then stood up.

"I'm hungry. How 'bout you? Feel like helping me make breakfast?"

"Anything you want, darlin'."

They dressed quickly, their eyes skipping to each other in bursts and then away again. They stepped out into the day, which was already bright in the fading summer sun.

"You want bacon or sausage?" Jack asked, from the cooler.

"It don't matter to me, Jack. Make what _you _want."

"Okay, then, we're having sausage," he said, knowing it was Ennis's favorite.

Ennis stood at the door of the tent, feeling tender and unsure of himself, like a stranger in his own skin. He watched Jack with new eyes, aware of Jack–the way he moved, the grace that guided every movement. Ennis frequently felt awkward and unsure of himself, but he was not envious of Jack; it was just one of the things he loved so much about him. _How could I have taken this–him–for granted for so long? _Ennis thought, shame and guilt creeping back into his heart. Jack suddenly stopped and turned to look at Ennis, a smile on his face. Somehow, he seemed to sense Ennis's uneasiness and with that one smile, he eased it a bit. Ennis stirred from his reverie and moved to the fire to make a pot of coffee, something he'd gotten very good at since their first trip here to Brokeback.

"I feel like takin' a swim," Jack said, when they'd finished eating. "Wanna join me?" He asked, over his shoulder, getting them each a towel and the bar of soap they'd brought along for washing.

"Sure." Ennis followed Jack to the water, where they undressed, side by side, and stepped into the river. There was a current, but it wasn't too strong here, chugging sluggishly along. The riverbed was rocky and the water felt cool, but refreshing. Jack stopped when the water reached his waist and turned to Ennis, a step behind him, and took his hands. He held them, palms up, as if reading the future in them. There was a crinkle above his brows and it saddened Ennis, knowing he'd put it there. Jack raised Ennis's hands and placed a kiss inside each palm, before slowly raising his head, their eyes meeting.

"Jack . . ."

Jack shook his head. "Don't say it, Ennis."

"Jack, darlin'."

"Ennis . . ." he warned, leaned in, and sealed Ennis's lips with a kiss, then put his arms around him, and pulled him under the water.

Ennis came up sputtering and when he opened his eyes he was met with a huge grin on Jack's face. "Payback fer that suckerpunch you gave me."

"That was thirteen fuckin' years ago, asshole."

"Guess I surprised ya then," Jack replied, slipping down into the water.

Ennis reached for Jack's hands under the water, linked their fingers together when he found them, and pulled him closer, their noses almost touching. "I s'pose you did." He kissed Jack gently, pulling on his bottom lip for a heartbeat, feeling Jack's tongue touch his.

"I'm gonna get the soap and wash up. I'm getting kinda cold," Jack said, standing up and heading for the shore for the soap he'd left there. Ennis watched him spin the soap in his hands, working up a lather, then reached for the soap himself.

"Here, let me help you," he said, lathering up. He went around behind Jack and ran his soapy hands over his back, up the strong shoulders, and then to Jack's neck, running his fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Jack arched his head back, so Ennis went higher, working a lather into the dark hair.

"God, Ennis, that feels good," Jack said, his whole body visibly relaxing. Ennis continued massaging his scalp, then ran his hands down to his shoulders and onto his chest. Jack leaned back, tilting his head back so Ennis had better access to the front of his body, where he continued his massaging and sudsing, until Jack slipped under the water to rinse off. He came up and reached for the soap. "Your turn."

Ennis felt himself relax under Jack's ministrations. "Imagine how good this'd feel in a bathtub full o' warm water," he said, just as Jack pulled him back to his chest to reach Ennis's front.

"I think we might just halfta try that when we get home. I bet we'd fit real good in that big claw foot tub."

"Or the sauna. There's a shower there. We haven't even used that, yet."

"Been too hot."

"Somethin' t'look forward to, then," Ennis replied, just before he slipped under the water to rinse off. They finished washing and returned to the shore, dried off, and dressed in clean t-shirts and jeans.

Jack started cleaning up, but Ennis felt the need to sit and be still. He found a comfortable spot under a tree, facing the river, and settled back. He watched an eagle soar by overhead, its wings spread as it almost floated on the air, like a whisper on the wind. He remembered someone told him once that eagles were good omens. He heard a noise and turned to see Jack approaching, a half-smile on his face. Jack stopped when he got to Ennis's side, as if waiting for something.

"Come 'ere," Ennis said softly and opened his arms. Jack came down, but instead of sitting by him, as Ennis expected, he laid down on the ground, his long legs stretched out and crossed, his head on Ennis's lap. Ennis looked down and smoothed the dark hair back from Jack's forehead, then rested his arm across Jack's chest. Jack sighed and closed his eyes. "You gonna take a nap?" Ennis asked.

"I just might." Jack's lips curled into a smile as he opened his eyes and reached up, took one of Ennis's curls in his fingers and stroked it gently. "Your hair is so soft." Jack eyes lingered on Ennis's face, taking in the creamy skin, the light smattering of freckles, the feather-soft eyebrows and the eyes framed by softly curling lashes. He lingered longest on the lips, the bottom one full and made to be pulled into Jack's mouth, the top one curved like a perfect bow. He smiled to see Ennis's cheeks turn to a rosy glow. "You're blushing."

"Am not," Ennis replied, his cheeks darkening further.

"Yes, you are. You're so beautiful, Ennis," he said, his hand moving from blond curls to stroke the burning cheek.

Ennis shook his head, "Knock it off, Jack."

"You don't believe me?"

"Think maybe yer teasin' me."

"I'm not. You should know by now, Ennis, that I think yer the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The day I saw you, was like a light turned on in my life. I'll be honest, sometimes that light goes a little dim, 'specially all them years we only saw each other a couple o' times, but it ain't never gone out completely. And some days, Ennis . . . Some days it shines so bright I can hardly look at it for fear of goin' blind." He stopped and looked up at the sky. "You know that star at the tip of the big dipper–the north star? That's the brightest star we can see. It's so bright that sailors use it t'navigate on the ocean. Ennis, you're my northern star. I'd be lost without you." He looked back into Ennis's eyes, which had filled with tears. "I don't ever wanna lose you, baby."

Ennis sniffed and wiped his eyes with his fingers, looked down and took Jack's hands in his. "You said a couple times yesterday that I was the strong one." He looked away and then back again. "I want you t'know, Jack, that I think you were always the strong one. The one willing to take risks, to make the trip up here, no matter how long we had t'wait in between. The one who had everything and left it all, just t'be with me. It didn't take much strength fer me t'stay stuck in one place fer all them years. If you'd decided not t'come back one year, I don't know if I woulda had the strength to go look fer you. I prob'ly woulda stayed there, stuck in my miserable fuckin' life," he finished softly.

Jack drew their entwined hands to his lips, kissed Ennis's hands, and said, "You would have come fer me. It might've taken you a while, but you would've done it." He looked into Ennis's eyes, "I know you would've."

"Shit, Jack, you got more faith in me than I ever had. I don't deserve it."

Jack sat up quickly and looked at Ennis, his jaw clenched. "That's what most o' your problem is, Ennis. You don't think you deserve _nothin_' good. Well, it ain't true! You deserve . . . you deserve to be happy, Ennis. And it'd make _me _happy if you can find your happiness with me. But if you can't, if you'll be happier with someone else, than so be it. It'd break my heart t'have t'leave you, but in the end, all I want, all I've _ever _wanted, is for you to be happy," he finished softly, his heart in his eyes.

Ennis reached out and pulled Jack into his arms, so tight his own arms hurt, so he knew he was probably hurting Jack, but he didn't loosen his grip. "I want you, darlin', just you. _You _make me happy." He finally loosened his grip and drew back to look deep in Jack's eyes. "I only want you. Understand?" Jack nodded, his eyes filling with tears. "Understand, Jack? _Only you_. I love you so much, Jack . . . so much . . ."

Jack nodded again, the tears falling. He wiped them away, then put his hands on Ennis's cheeks and leaned in to kiss him. It started as a gentle kiss, but quickly spiraled deeper and deeper. They were both on their knees now, their bodies pressed together. Jack had one hand tangled in Ennis's curls, the other pressing into the small of his back, trying to pull him closer, if possible. Ennis's hands were on each side of Jack's face, feeling the rough stubble against his palms. He pulled back slightly, slowed down, took one last taste of Jack with his tongue, then sat back against the tree.

"Come on, lay back down," he said, tugging Jack's hand. Jack obliged and Ennis looked down at him, stroked his cheek gently, ran his thumb across the full, rose-tinted lips, and brushed the dark hair off his forehead. He looked into Jack's eyes. Eyes that belonged on an angel, they were so beautiful. Eyes that were clear and open and filled with a love so strong Ennis almost felt he needed to look away, that he wasn't worthy of such love. But he remembered Jack's words and he didn't look away. He held his gaze steady for many long minutes, until finally Jack himself broke their connection with a yawn.

Ennis smiled and said, "Go to sleep, if ya want to, Jack. I'll hold ya fer as long as ya want." Jack clasped Ennis's hand in both of his as he closed his eyes.

* * *

Beau put the curry comb in its place on the shelf and turned around. At the same time, Tyler latched the door to Pepper's stall and turned and their eyes met. Tyler looked away, his stomach in knots. They hadn't talked about anything not work-related since their kiss two nights ago. The tension had grown between them to the point that even Dayle and Dwayne commented on it, wondering out loud what was going on.

The thought of what had happened had not left Tyler's mind. He'd already been a jumble of emotion when Ennis and Jack left. Not only because he knew that when they returned, things would be different. Jack and Ennis had gone through so much to be together and he knew the attraction between him and Ennis had to be over. He was sure that they would work things out while they were gone. He felt a little sad, at losing Ennis entirely, but realized that he couldn't lose something he never really had. He also felt, strangely, comfort and hope. If two men like Jack and Ennis could find a way to be together, he knew that it was possible for him to find it, too. When Beau kissed him, it released something inside him; it opened a part of him he'd thought closed and locked up. Yes, he'd been attracted to Ennis, but that had grown from the familiarity that they were so much alike and it seemed natural that they should be attracted to one another. Beau, however, was different. He was worldly and experienced. He'd been places and seen things, and most likely, had a lot more experience with love and sex than Tyler ever had or ever known anyone who had. And yet, there was a soft side to Beau that Tyler was beginning to notice. He was gentle and tender with the animals and the children, which said a lot to Tyler.

Beau stepped forward, drawing Tyler's eyes back to him. "Tyler, I just wanted to say that, well, about what happened the other night . . . I didn't mean to come on so strong."

"You didn't. I wanted it just as much as you did."

"It's just that, I know you have feelings for Ennis and I don't want to be your rebound guy. I've had my heart broken before and I don't want to go through it again."

Tyler looked at him, his eyes soft. This wasn't what he expected.

"Beau, nothing is going on between me and Ennis. I mean, yes, I won't deny I'm attracted to him and I know . . . I know it was mutual. But, it's done. Ennis and Jack–they belong together. Anyone can see that. I couldn't live with myself if I broke that up. Now that I've had a few days to think clearly, I can see what a mistake I was making." He paused and looked down at his hands, before going on, "When you and I kissed, it felt good. It felt . . . right. Does that make sense?"

Beau looked at him without replying. Tyler was still looking at his hands, so he stepped forward and put his hand under his chin and raised his face to meet his eyes. "It felt right to me, too." He leaned closer. "Maybe we should try it again? See how it feels?" he asked, then grinned, realizing how much it sounded like a cheap pick-up line.

Tyler smiled back. "Okay."

Beau leaned forward and touched Tyler's lips with his own, tentatively, at first, then more urgently. He felt Tyler's hands go around his waist, pulling them together. The kiss went on and on, their hands clutched each other, tangled in hair, and caressed bare skin, not breaking apart until they heard Kelly calling from the porch that supper was ready. Beau stepped back, breathing hard, his hands still on Tyler's waist, and looked into the dark eyes. He realized quickly that he could lose himself in their depths, if he wasn't careful. If he hadn't already . . .

"Come on," he took Tyler's hand and pulled him toward the door. "Let's go eat, then maybe, you feel like going out for a beer?"

"Yeah, sure," Tyler replied, a grin on his lips.

Kelly ate supper with them, giving them amused looks. "What's going on? You're both grinning like a couple of fools."

"Nothing," Beau said, not able to keep a half-smile off his face or to resist a glance at Tyler.

When they'd finished eating and Beau was in the bathroom, Kelly said, "Tyler, I haven't seen you look so happy in a long time. You don't have to tell me why, but I think I understand." She put her hand on his and said, "I hope it works out for you."

He looked at her and asked, "How are you doing? How are things going with Dwayne?"

"Things are good. I never knew what a nice guy he really was, I mean, is." She blushed. "You know what I mean."

"I know."

* * *

Jack opened his eyes slowly, aware that he was stiff from laying on the hard ground, but at the same time, it felt good to be in Ennis's arms, his head on his lap, with strong arms holding him. Ennis opened his eyes and looked down, clearly waking up himself.

"Mmm . . . musta fell asleep," Ennis said.

Jack sat up, leaned back against the tree, and pulled Ennis into his arms. "It feels so good to be here with you."

Ennis put his arms around Jack's waist and snuggled close, under Jack's chin, "Feels good t'me, too." They sat that way for a long time, not moving, relaxed into each other, until Ennis pulled away a bit and looked up at Jack. "We got something left t'talk about."

"I know."

"What're we gonna do about Tyler?"

"You trust me, Ennis?"

"'Course I do, Jack."

"Why don't you let me deal with Tyler."

Ennis looked at him for a moment, trying to read his face, which Jack kept carefully blank. "Okay, Jack." He relaxed against Jack's chest again and they sat there, together, for a long time.


	29. Chapter 28

Author note: This chapter was inspired by a few songs that I want to credit. They are:

_Maybe An Angel _by Heather Nova from her album _Oyster  
Saints and Angels _by Sara Evans from her album _Born to Fly  
Hold On_ by Sara McLachlan from her album _Fumbling Towards Ecstacy_

Of course, I must credit some of the phrasing, that you will no doubt recognize, to the original master Annie Proulx.

In addition, this whole tale has really been inspired, to some extent, by the song _Hallelujah _by Leonard Cohen from his album _The Essential Leonard Cohen_. Part of my writing process involves listening to music and if a song inspires me I listen to it over and over and over and over...

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ennis stared up into the night sky, where there was not a cloud to mar the blackness lit by the stars. The uneasiness he felt all day had not quelled and, in fact, had grown inside him until it felt like his insides had melted and were sloshing around inside him like a pot of porridge.

"Jack?" Jack looked over at him, from across the fire. Ennis sat up. "I gotta tell ya something. I feel like maybe we left some things unsaid and need t'clear 'em up before we leave here." Jack didn't say anything, but he sat up and leaned forward. "I . . . you gotta know . . . I, um . . ." He looked away, feeling sick, took a deep breath, and looked back. "Jack, the truth is, there was more to . . . I mean . . . there was more to what happened with Tyler. It wasn't just the kissing. I had _feelings _for Tyler." He looked at Jack from under his eyelashes, to find Jack looking back calmly at him. "I care about him." Jack still didn't say anything. "Jesus, Jack, say something."

"What do you want me to say, Ennis? You want me to scream at you? You want me to hit you? Punch you? Would that make you feel better? I know you had, maybe still have, feelings for him. You wouldn't be _you _if you didn't." He looked at Ennis with narrowed eyes. "You planning on acting on those feelings anymore? After all we been through up here?"

"_No_! God, no, Jack."

"I know that. I know _you_, Ennis." Jack looked out in the distance, towards the river, for a long time before speaking again. "I won't lie. It don't make it easier. I don't know what'll happen when we get back. Ain't gonna be easy fer any of us. Tyler, included. Maybe him most of all," he added softly.

Ennis looked at him for a minute and then got up and walked away, into the trees. Jack watched him go, sighed, and lay back, his arms spread wide, looking up into the impossibly starry sky.

Ennis threaded his way through the trees until he could barely see the fire, his eyes filled with tears that he swiped away with shaking hands._ Goddamn, I'm turnin' into a fuckin' girl, cryin' all the time. _A suppressed sob escaped from his lungs as he bent forward, trying to gain control of himself. It was too much for him, too much for a man who was so used to suppressing his feelings. He was used to not getting what he wanted. He was used to not wanting anything because he'd never gotten it anyway. Until now. Until Jack. _Jack, who's suddenly Old Man River, the sage of the forest, the wise man on the mountain. When the hell did that happen? Was it always there and I didn't know it? _A fresh wave of guilt overtook him and brought him to his knees. His stomach was roiling, his head pounding, his entire being overcome with emotion so strong he didn't know how to deal with it. He looked up and saw someone in front of him, pale and shining, illuminated in the darkness. Ennis wiped his eyes.

"Ennis?" he heard. A whispered question, a whispered plea, a whispered reassurance.

Ennis put his arms out and was gathered into a warm embrace and held close. Strong hands stroked his sweat-matted hair as he grasped fistfuls of Jack's white t-shirt. "Shh . . . it's alright. Everything's gonna be alright," Jack whispered, falling to the earth with Ennis and holding him close.

It was a long time before Ennis's breathing returned to normal, but still he leaned into Jack, drawing strength from him. Finally, he drew back and put his hands on Jack's face and looked into his eyes. He wanted desperately to say something, anything, to explain how he felt, but he couldn't.

Jack pulled him close and kissed him fiercely. Ennis relaxed into him, allowing Jack to be in control, succumbing, finally, to the knowledge that this man knew him better than anyone–better than he knew himself, sometimes. Jack kissed his lips gently, than placed kisses on Ennis's closed eyes, his temples, down his cheek, and at the sensitive spot under his jaw. He moved to his ear and licked around it gently before whispering softly, "Ennis, darlin', I want to make love with you."

Ennis melted inside. His insides, already porridge, turned to molten lava. He ran his hands up Jack's back, to the place where his wings should be, then met his lips for a kiss that swirled quickly out of control. He pulled Jack's tongue into his mouth and sucked hard on it, earning a low moan from Jack.

Jack guided Ennis down to lie on his back, then straddled his legs, still kissing, stopping only when Ennis had to move a pinecone or two from underneath him. Jack's fingers moved to the buttons on Ennis's flannel shirt, undoing them one at a time, then he slid his hands up under the t-shirt beneath it. He ran his hands over the smooth skin, felt Ennis buck when he hit a ticklish spot and felt the smile against his lips.

Ennis pushed Jack's t-shirt up and pulled it over his arms, barely breaking apart to do it. He ran his hands down Jack's sides, then along the waistband of his jeans, until he reached the belt buckle, which he unclasped, then moved to the buttons on Jack's jeans, pulling each one open slowly. When he was done, he slipped his hand inside, to touch the silky hot fire within. He caressed it gently, his fingers wrapped around its hard length. Jack sucked in his breath and pulled away, resting his head on Ennis's chest, fighting for control.

Ennis ran his other hand down Jack's back as Jack raised his head and met his lips again, kissing him with reverence. Their kisses grew urgent and low moans came from deep within each of them. Ennis ducked his head to kiss Jack's neck, then pushed Jack's jeans down, needing to feel him, his skin, under his hands. Jack sat up and pulled his boots and jeans off, settled himself between Ennis's legs and leaned in to kiss him again. Their bodies strained together, their harsh breaths and low moans cutting the night around them. Ennis wrapped his leg behind Jack's, pulled him even closer, and got lost in the feeling of Jack's lips on his, Jack's tongue in his mouth, until Jack pulled back, still on his knees between Ennis's legs, an amused look on his face.

"What?" Ennis asked, raising himself to his elbows.

"Well, it don't hardly seem fair."

"What don't?" Ennis asked, his brow wrinkling.

Jack leaned forward and planted a long, wet kiss on Ennis's stomach, where a narrow crescent of skin was visible between his shirt and the top of his jeans. "I'm completely naked," he said, then stopped to leave another wet kiss next to the first one. "And you're completely clothed." Ennis dropped his head back, completely undone. Jack pushed Ennis's t-shirt up and left a trail of wet kisses as he went. Without raising his head, he reached to pull Ennis's flannel shirt down his arms. Ennis started to raise up to help him, but Jack gently held him down, continuing his kisses on the soft fabric of Ennis's t-shirt, up to his neck, and then back to his lips. Jack sat up and unbuckled Ennis's belt, unbuttoned his jeans, and slid the zipper down slowly. Ennis tried to sit up again, but Jack put his hand on his chest and shook his head. "Wait." Jack put his hand down Ennis's jeans and gave a gentle pull on the hardness inside for a moment, then removed his hand.

"Jack . . ." Ennis said, trying to sit up.

"Wait." Jack breathed the word like a prayer. He pulled Ennis's boots and socks off, letting his hands linger on each foot, massaging the sensitive arch of each, then ran his hands up each pant leg, felt the strength in the calves and the hair that tickled his palms. He took his hands out and reached up to tug the jeans off Ennis's hips. He went exquisitely slow, trailing his fingers on the skin beneath, feeling Ennis writhe beneath him. Once the jeans were all the way off, he spread Ennis's legs and left kisses on the inside of one thigh and then the other.

Ennis used all the willpower he possessed not to buck his hips when he felt Jack's lips on his thighs and felt his hair brush against his cock. Jack moved from his thighs back to Ennis's stomach, kissing and licking, pushing the t-shirt up again as he went. When both shirts were bunched under Ennis's arms, Jack finally pulled the flannel off and followed it with the t-shirt up over his head, tossed them both away, and leaned down for another kiss, bringing their erections together, hard between them. They moved together and Ennis's legs came up to pull Jack closer, his hips riding high off the ground. Jack strained just as hard against him, his desire rushing through him, like a whitewater tide.

Ennis felt it too, the power, the unstoppable, exhilarating rush of love. His fingers tangled in Jack's hair and he whispered his name, running it together like a single long word or an echo in the canyon. His arms and legs tightened, trying to pull Jack into his own skin, and still they moved, in perfect unison, riding a crescendo that went on and on. When they reached the edge of ecstacy and went over, they came together, curled into each other so tight they may have been one person, the hot wetness mingling between their sweat-soaked bodies.

Ennis whispered something softly. Jack didn't hear it, so he turned his head, put his ear near Ennis's mouth, and Ennis breathed into his ear, "My angel. You're my angel." In that moment, any doubts that Jack still harbored vanished. He put his head down, his ear next to Ennis's heart, which beat a steady staccato rhythm that matched his own.

They lay there, beneath the black velvet sky, for a long time, until Ennis asked, in a low voice, "Maybe we oughta move back t'the campsite."

Jack propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Ennis. "You uncomfortable?"

"Well, I could lay here with you in my arms forever, but as long as we got a tent and some sleeping bags, maybe we oughta use 'em." Jack looked at him expectantly, so Ennis sighed and added, "All right, I admit it, layin' on the ground naked ain't too comfortable."

Jack grinned, stood up, and held his hand out to Ennis to help him up. They gathered their clothes and boots and made their way back through the trees. Ennis went into the tent and came out immediately, pulling the sleeping bag behind him.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked.

"I wanna sleep out here, out in the open, under the stars in heaven, with you."

They found a soft spot on the grass and spread it out, then crawled into the cocoon of warmth.

"Think we should head back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I do," Ennis replied. He was silent for a long time before adding, "I think this was a good trip, though, Jack."

Jack tightened his arms around Ennis. "Yeah, I think so, too." They were silent after that, drifting to sleep, facing each other, arms and legs tangled together.

* * *

Jack and Ennis woke early, the bright sun shining down on them, both anxious to be up and on their way, now that they'd decided to leave. Brokeback was their past, a reminder of where they started, but they were both ready now, to live in the present, together.

The car was all packed, the campsite cleaned up, the fire out. Jack and Ennis stood by the car, arms around each other, looking up at the mountain, each remembering, each sending out a prayer of eternal gratefulness to the act of grace that brought them together.

Ennis pulled Jack around to face him, took him in his arms, and held him close. A memory came on Jack strong, almost like a dream. Ennis had come up behind him and pulled him close. He'd held him that way for a long time, both silent, until Ennis began to hum and rocked him slightly. Jack had leaned against the steady heartbeat, the vibrations of the humming like faint electricity. He'd fallen into sleep that was not really sleep, but something else drowsy and tranced.

In his mind, that dozy embrace was a moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see nor feel that it was Jack he held.

Ennis drew back and took Jack's face in his hands. Jack was overwhelmingly thankful that they'd come so far since that distant time.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

"Come on."

They got in the car and drove away, not looking back.

* * *

The trip to Lightning Flat was uneventful and, although Bobby was overjoyed to see them, he assured his daddy that his grandparents had treated him real good. Jack couldn't help noticing a softness in his daddy's eyes that he'd never seen before. They stayed the night, which pleased Grace. She made a big supper and smiled fondly at Jack several times. With a bittersweet pang, Jack realized that his momma had a new light in her eyes.

Jack insisted that Bobby stay in the house, in Jack's old room that he'd been using. Jack and Ennis put up the tent in the yard and slept in it and John Twist didn't say a word about it.

When they left the next day, John put his arm around Bobby, the closest gesture to a hug he would make, and pulled him close. He just nodded at Jack and Ennis and gave them a curt, "Bye, then," before heading to the barn.

Jack wrapped Grace in his arms. "I love you, momma."

"I love you, too, Jack. You come back and visit again, son."

"I will."

Grace surprised Ennis by putting her arms around him next. He hugged her back and heard her say, "You come back again."

They got in the car and drove away and Ennis could see Grace watch them all the way down that long, lonely road. Several more miles down the road Jack turned to him and said, "That went better'n I expected."

* * *

The station wagon pulled into the driveway of the farm the next day, close to six o'clock. Kelly and Tyler's cars and Beau's motorcycle were in the driveway. Jack had called the farm earlier to see if Kelly would make them some supper. Bobby jumped out and ran in the house, anxious to see her and tell her all about the trip.

Jack and Ennis got out of the car slowly. "I'm gonna take a walk out t'the stable an' check on the horses." Ennis said.

"Think I'll join ya," Jack replied.

They walked to the stable, side by side, their boots crunching lightly on the gravel, and entered the stable, just as two figures pulled apart on the far side. Ennis and Jack exchanged a look, then walked forward.

Beau broke the silence first, "Hi guys, welcome back."

"Thanks, Beau," Jack replied.

Tyler looked at Ennis and his resolve left him. All his pretty, sanctimonious, selfless thoughts went out the window with the realization that he loved Ennis. _He loved Ennis_. He couldn't help it. His eyes lit up at the sight of him.

Ennis looked at him, saw all the brightness and hope within Tyler's eyes and shuttered his own, rejecting him without saying a word, then looked at Jack, turned around and went back to the house. He felt terrible, but he knew that it had to be done.

Jack watched Tyler and saw what Ennis had seen and his jaw tightened. He trusted Ennis, there was no doubt in his heart about that. What he was going to do about Tyler depended a lot on what happened here, now. He kept his eyes on Tyler's, saw the heartbreak at the exact moment it happened, and his own eyes softened with sympathy.

Beau looked at each of them, taking it all in. He felt a pang of remembered sadness when he watched the play of emotions go through Tyler's eyes, when he saw the pain and heartbreak that surged through them. He touched Tyler's arm gently and walked away.

Jack faced Tyler, who looked at him, his eyes full, but his chin raised. "We need to talk, Tyler." Tyler nodded. "Come on, let's take a walk." Tyler followed him out the door and they started down the path to the lake.

Neither one said anything along the way. When they got to the water, they each sat in one of the lawn chairs that had been left there.

"Tyler, while we were gone, me and Ennis did a lotta talking. He told me about everything that happened between the two of you." He paused, letting it sink in.

Tyler looked away, across the lake, then down at his hands, before looking up and into Jack's eyes. "I'm sorry, Jack. You've been more than good to me. I'm glad you let me stay working here until you got back." He started to stand up, but Jack put out a hand and stopped him.

"Wait a minute." Tyler looked surprised, but sat back down. "I know you said you were quitting, but," Jack let out a big sigh, "you don't have to, if you don't want to, if we can work some things out." Tyler looked at him curiously. "Ennis and I both know that this farm is like a home to you and that James was more than an employer to you. Neither of us feel comfortable comin' in here and kickin' you out. Even after what's happened." He looked at Tyler, his eyes hardening a bit. "Ennis left it up to me to decide. I've thought a lot about it and I'd like to ask you to stay, but if, and only if, you can work with Ennis and put any thoughts of you and him being anything more than friends out of your mind."

Tyler looked at him like he'd lost his mind and Jack admitted to himself that he probably had. "I . . . I don't know what to say, Jack. I thought you'd want to fire me, or hit me, or something."

Jack sighed again. "Tyler, it's been a rough week. Me and Ennis both been through the ringer. Truth is, I did wanna hit you. More than anything, for a while there. But, right now, I'm too tired. 'Sides, I ain't a violent man. Ain't my nature to go 'round hittin' people. Now Ennis, on the other hand, if it was you and me that'd done the kissing, rest assured you wouldn't be standing right now."

The hint of a smile crossed Tyler's face, so Jack smiled back. "Tyler, I remember what it's like to be young and gay and in love and not be able to be with that person. It's a hard thing–a real hard thing. I don't envy you one bit. But I do understand, which is why I don't want to fire you. I think we can all be friends, if you can manage it. I trust that Ennis can, but I know him, heart and soul." He made sure Tyler was looking in his eyes before he continued. "I love him and he loves me, I've no doubt about that, even after everything. But you have to make the decision for yourself. If you can't do it–if it'll be too painful to be around him and me, then we both understand." Tyler didn't say anything, so Jack went on. "You think about it." Tyler nodded and Jack stood up. "Come one, let's get back. I'm beat."

Jack went into the house when they reached it and Tyler got in his car and drove home. He went straight to bed and crawled under the blankets, staring up at the ceiling until it grew too dark to see. Some time later, he felt tears roll down his face and soak into his hair and pillow and he still didn't know what to think or what to do.


	30. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

_August 30, 1976_

The pale blue pre-dawn light through the window illuminated the room with a cold glow. Jack was at the edge of sleep, in that dozy serenity of the night, before the day steals it away. He heard the soft sound of Ennis breathing behind him and felt the warmth of his body curled around him. He shifted a little more completely in Ennis's embrace, settled the arm more tightly around him, and pulled it to his chest. As sleep began to take him again, he thought he heard a soft knock at the door. He lifted his head, listening, and it came again.

"Come in," he said, barely above a whisper. Bobby opened the door and padded into the room, his hair and cowboy pajamas rumpled, and went to Jack's side of the bed. "What's the matter, little man?"

"I had a bad dream."

"Come 'ere," Jack said, holding his arms out. Bobby crawled up on the bed and settled into his daddy's arms. "Wanna talk about it?"

Bobby hesitated, then said, "I dreamed we were back in Texas, in our old house, and momma was there," he snuggled closer before going on. "There was a big monster in the garage. It waited an' waited an' waited," his voice dropped to a soft whisper, "an' then it ate momma up."

Jack tightened his arms around Bobby and stroked his hair. "Oh, son, that's a terrible dream."

"I know that ain't what really happened, but it scared me."

"I'm so sorry, son. You wanna just lay here with me fer a while? Or do you want me to tuck you back in your own bed?"

Bobby settled in closer to Jack and said, "Stay here." He fell asleep a few minutes later.

Jack was now too wide awake to sleep, but there was no way he was going to move. His thoughts went back to the trip, the revelations, and the aftermath. Being here, sandwiched between the two people he loved most in the world, made it almost hard to believe. He felt a sharp twist in his heart when he thought of Ennis with Tyler, but forced himself to abandon that line of thought. _Wonder if I made the right decision with Tyler? What if he decides to stay? Don't know if any of us can handle that. 'Course, we're all adults and it ain't like they had sex. It was just a kiss. _A tiny part of his brain whispered, _It was more than just a kiss_, but Jack pushed that far, far away. _I saw how he handled Tyler when we got back here. Let him know, through his eyes and his actions, that it's over an' done with. But I wonder if I did the right thing, leavin' it up to Tyler? If he stays, we gotta respect that. Gotta make it work out. I ain't worried 'bout Ennis no more. Not really, _the tiny voice added. He realized that it would probably take some time before that niggling of doubt left him completely.

Jack thought about Ennis's admission that he realized he really was gay. His heart filled with love and joy, just at the thought that Ennis could admit to himself who he really was. It came near to bursting, knowing Ennis loved _him_. He wondered how this would affect their daily lives, if at all. Obviously, they still had to be careful in public. Just because Ennis found self-awareness, didn't mean the rest of the world did. To most of the country, their love for each other was still something to be horrified and disgusted about. _Why can't they just let us live our lives the way we want. Ain't nobody's business but ours._

This line of thought lead to worry about the upcoming court hearings. Truth was, their way of living and loving would probably have an affect on his chances for gaining custody of his own son. _My own son. Goddamn bastard L.D. If it weren't fer him, there'd be no battle at all._

"What's wrong?" Ennis whispered in his ear.

"What?"

"You tensed up all of a sudden."

"Sorry, I didn't know you were awake."

"Yeah. Heard Bobby come in."

"I was just thinkin' about, you know, court an' stuff."

Ennis tightened his arm around Jack's chest and put a kiss on the back of his neck."

"Try not t'worry, Jack."

"I'm tryin'. Ain't really workin', though."

They fell silent. After a while, Jack, who'd been wide awake, started to drift off again. He heard even breathing behind him and knew Ennis had gone back to sleep, too. His last conscious thought was, _I'm so happy here_.

Jack opened his eyes and found himself looking into a set of large, blue eyes that were a perfect reflection of his own.

"I'm hungry."

"How long've you been awake?"

"Coupla minutes."

"If you're hungry, go downstairs. Maybe Kelly's here already an' she can help ya. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Okay." Bobby hopped off the bed and went to the door. Before he went through, though, he looked back and said, "I love you, daddy."

"I love you, too, son."

Jack turned over and found himself looking into another pair of eyes–this time they were the color of dark honey. "I thought you woulda been up hours ago. We been gone fer over a week."

"I know. I wanted to stay here with you, though. I guess I better get up and get going, though. Now that you mention it, I do want to check on everything. I'm sure the boys did a fine job while we were gone, but . . ." he trailed off. "Well, guess I better get moving." He started to rise, then turned back and kissed Jack.

Jack laid back and watched Ennis walk to the bathroom before getting up himself.

* * *

Beau walked into the kitchen as Ennis and Jack were eating breakfast. "Morning. Isn't Tyler coming today?" he asked.

"He's not here?" Jack asked.

"Nope, haven't seen him."

"I guess he ain't comin'," Jack said, taking a drink of coffee and glancing at Ennis, who hadn't looked up from his plate of eggs, toast, and bacon.

"There's some shingles loose on the barn. We were planning on fixing them today," Beau said.

"I guess you an' I'll halfta work on it," Ennis said. He drained his cup and stood up. "Come on, we best get to it."

There was a quick knock at the door and it opened almost immediately. "Hello?" Dwayne poked his blonde head in.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked, smiling at Dwayne and the matching blonde head that followed him in.

"We're just packing to leave and since we didn't get to see you at all last week, we thought we'd stop in to say good-bye."

"When are you boys leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Are you gonna come back and visit?" Bobby asked.

"Of course we are!" Dayle said.

Dwayne drifted over to Kelly and said softly, "Are we still on for tonight?"

She smiled, "Yes."

"I'll pick you up at six, okay?"

"Okay."

There was another knock on the door. Jack looked around as he went to answer it and said, "What's going on around here today?" He opened the door. "Oh, hey Dr. Frederick. What are you doing here today?" He opened the door to let their veterinarian in.

"Just the monthly check up."

"Oh, I guess we fergot." Jack glanced back at Ennis, who was already moving toward the door, followed by Beau. "I'll be out in a little bit," Jack said.

* * *

That night Jack fell into bed, tired from a hard days work. He lay in the dark, listening to the sound of Ennis breathing beside him.

"Never did get to that barn roof," Ennis said. "Have to do it tomorrow."

"At least it don't look like rain."

"That's true."

Ennis's breathing slowed and became even, but, tired as he was, Jack couldn't sleep. He wondered about Tyler and if he'd indeed decided not to come back to the farm. Ennis hadn't mentioned him all day, but Jack had the feeling that he'd thought about it. Jack had told him he'd left the decision up to Tyler, but he still wondered if that'd been the right decision. _Can't worry about it now, though, it's already done._

_

* * *

_

The kiss went on and on, until Kelly drew back. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'm gonna miss you, too." Dwayne sighed, "How come it took us so long to find each other? We've known each other since kindergarten."

A mischievous smile crossed Kelly's face. "Because it took you that long to grow up, silly."

Dwayne smiled back at her. "I guess you're right." He was silent for a while, then said, "But Duluth isn't that far. I'll come home all the time and if you could come to Duluth sometimes, if you want, I mean."

"Of course I will."

"Still, I am going to miss you."

"I know."

The heavy sounds of kissing and breathing filled the car again.

* * *

"Kelly, have you seen Tyler the past couple of days?"

"No. I was thinking about stopping to talk to his dad tonight and see where he's been."

"Maybe you could let us know, if you find out anything, that is," Jack said.

"Sure Jack. Are you going outside? I made some lemonade for Ennis and Beau. Would you take it out to them?"

"Sure."

Jack took the jar of lemonade and some plastic glasses and headed out the door. On the way to the barn, he watched Ennis stand up, looking into the woods, almost as if he was looking at something, before he lost his balance and fell. Jack watched in horror as Ennis slid down the steep roof, fell off the edge and lay still. Jack dropped the jar and glasses and ran to Ennis, his heart in his throat, his mind screaming against what he'd witnessed. Beau, who'd been at the top of the ladder, was already kneeling at his side when he skidded to his knees next to Ennis.

Beau's eyes met Jack's. "He's breathing, but . . ."

Jack looked down. There was a large rock embedded in the ground and it appeared that Ennis had hit it in the worst possible place. There was blood seeping from a wound on the back of his head and he was unconscious. "Call the ambulance. And hurry up." Beau jumped up and ran to the house as Jack tore off his shirt and put it under Ennis's head, to stop the flow of blood. Jack looked back down at Ennis, the beloved face had lost all color and his breathing was shallow. "Oh, darlin', baby, please, please be okay." Jack closed his eyes and put his forehead to Ennis's, as if this familiar gesture would bring the life back to him. A moment later, he heard running footsteps approaching and raised his head.

Beau was on his way back, followed by Kelly. "They'll be here in a few minutes."

"What was he doing, Beau?" Jack asked.

"He said something about seeing someone in the trees. I guess that's why he stood up, to get a better look."

Kelly knelt by Ennis and took his hand in hers, tears flowing down her cheeks as she fought to control the sobs that threatened to escape. Beau put his arm around her. "He's gonna be okay."

Even though he knew it was only moments later, to Jack it felt like an hour had gone by before they heard the wail of the ambulance. Beau went to direct them back to the barn. Jack and Kelly stepped back as the EMT's put a neck brace on Ennis and strapped him to the backboard and then lifted him onto the cart and up in to the back of the ambulance. Jack followed them. The EMT in front of him turned to stop him, took one look at his face, and let him up with them.

"We'll follow you," Beau said, his arm around Kelly again. Jack just nodded.

The EMT who'd been in front of Jack introduced himself as George Nichols and the other EMT in the back was Jane Mattson. "Does he have a regular doctor?"

"He hasn't been to the doctor since we been here. Nancy Nelson, I guess."

George nodded, continuing to take Ennis's vitals down on his clipboard. The driver radioed the hospital to let them know they were approaching and the backed in. Jack hopped out and watched George and Jane lift Ennis out of the back of the ambulance and wheel him into the hospital. Nancy met them at the door.

"Jack! What happened?"

"He fell off the barn roof and hit his head on a rock." Seeing a familiar face nearly made Jack break down, but he took a deep, shaky breath.

Nancy was already examining Ennis. "We're gonna take him in and stitch this up, take an x-ray. You wait in this waiting room and I'll find you as soon as I know anything.

Jack just nodded and stepped into the waiting room. It was a small, quiet room. He looked around in a daze, feeling himself on the verge of losing control again. All the 'what if's' started making their way through his mind, but were cut off by sounds behind him. He turned as Kelly and Beau came into the room. Kelly went right to him and put her arms around him. That was all it took and he was crying. He tried to stop, but the thought of losing Ennis was so overpowering that he couldn't control himself for many long moments. Finally, he took a long, shaky breath and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, honey."

"Don't apologize, Jack. Do you know anything yet?"

"No, Nancy was here and she said she'd come tell me when she knows something."

"Here, Jack." Beau handed him a styrofoam cup of steaming coffee. Holding the warm cup in his shaking hands brought a strange sense of calm to him. They sat in the padded chairs, not speaking.

Finally, Nancy came back in the room and sat next to Jack. "Well, we stitched up the cut on his head and did an x-ray. He's fractured his skull and there's some swelling that we're monitoring. Nothing else appears to be broken, but he's still unconscious. We're settling him into a room in the ICU. You can visit in a few minutes. I think he's going to be okay, Jack, but we won't know more until he wakes up."

"When will that be?"

"I don't know. My best guess is that he should wake up sometime tonight or even as late as tomorrow. But, I have to be honest with you, it could be longer. He hit his head pretty hard, and, like I said, there's been some swelling."

"But . . . but he's not gonna die?" Jack asked.

"Nothing is certain, Jack, but I don't think so. We're gonna do our best for him. Come on," she stood up, "I'll take you to his room."

Jack followed her down the hall and through a set of large, wooden doors, that had 'Intensive Care Unit' written above them in large letters. He followed her into a room to the right of the main door, but stopped at the doorway. Ennis was in the bed, his head bandaged by a large, white bandage, his face pale and drawn. His t-shirt and button-down shirt, jeans, and boots had all been removed and Jack could see he was in a dull hospital gown. It didn't look like Ennis. Ennis, who was so full of life, especially around him. He remembered the wry, half-smiles that said so much more than words, the sparkling brown eyes that ranged from dark chocolate to sweet honey, depending on his mood, and tried to reconcile that person with this still, pale person in the narrow hospital bed.

Nancy put her arm around him and drew him into the room. "He'll be okay, Jack. I'm sure of it."

"I know, I know, it's just . . . so hard."

"I know. I'll leave you here for a few moments. I'll let them know at the desk that you're to be treated as family and can come in whenever you want."

"I _am _his family," Jack said.

"I know, dear, I know that, but not everyone does. I'll leave you alone now."

Jack went to the side of the bed and took Ennis's hand in his. "Ennis, please, you have to wake up and get better. I don't know what I'll do without ya, bud. I need you. Remember, you're my north star." He leaned down and touched Ennis's lips with his, in a soft kiss, then ran his fingers along the side of his face. "Please, baby." He stood there for a long time, but Ennis didn't open his eyes. He stood there for a long time.

A while later, Jack walked back to the waiting room and found Kelly and Beau still there.

"How is he, Jack?" Kelly asked.

"The same. Still unconscious."

"I called Ellen McIntyre and asked her to keep Bobby. I told her it'll probably be for the whole night. I told her what happened, but asked her not to tell Bobby, because I wasn't sure if you'd want to tell him yourself."

"Thanks, honey." Jack ran his hands over his face, "Oh, shit. I'm gonna halfta call his girls and Alma." He sat down, suddenly completely drained of energy. "And the farm. I have a buyer coming tomorrow morning. I don't want to leave here, though." He sighed. "Beau, could you take care of the animals tonight and," he hesitated, "could you find Tyler and see if he can meet with the buyer, maybe help out fer a few days. He knows what to do. I don't know what he's decided about working there anymore, but I assumed he decided not to come back. If he don't want to, I understand, but, well, we sure could use his help."

"Sure, Jack. We'll stop at his house on the way home."

"I'll come by later and bring you some supper, Jack. I'm sure my mom will want to come, too. She sure has taken a liking to you and Ennis," Kelly said.

"I don't know if I'll be able to eat anything," Jack said.

"That's okay, I'll come anyway. You have to eat something."

"All right. I'm going back to his room." He stood and left. There was a nurse in the room when he entered, taking Ennis's blood pressure. "Any change?" he asked.

"No, I'm afraid not." She finished and wrote in his chart. "I'll be back in a little bit to check on him again. You can pull that chair next to his bed, if you want to sit closer."

Jack smiled at her, his charming grin faded by his worry, and said, "Thanks, I think I will." He pulled the chair next to Ennis's bed and sat down. He looked at Ennis's hand, laying on top of the rough, white blanket, the blue plastic bracelet with his name typed on it looking foreign on the tan skin. His long fingers, calloused by hard work and the fine hairs that feathered along the side of his hand, so familiar to Jack. Tears came to his eyes as he thought of those hands, chopping wood, controlling a horse, running gently down Jack's arm or cheek. Jack took that hand in his and held it tight, running his thumb over the knuckles, gently, willing all of his own strength into Ennis. He stayed that way for a long time.


	31. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

_September 1, 1976_

Jack found Kelly and Alice in the waiting room, a basket at their feet. As soon as she saw him, Alice stood and hugged him. "How're you doing?"

"Not too good, right now," he said.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I've been praying for Ennis ever since Kelly told me what happened."

"Thanks, Alice, I, I mean, we, appreciate that."

"Here Jack, we brought you some supper."

"I don't know if I can eat anything."

"Come on, just a little. You have to keep your strength up."

"All right," Jack agreed.

Alice took out a plate and put a cold chicken sandwich on it, then added some strawberries, raw carrots, and potato chips, while Kelly went looking for a soda machine. She brought him back a coke. Jack ate, barely tasting any of it.

"Will they let us see him?" Alice asked.

"I don't know. You can ask."

"Do you want one of us to stay with you?"

"No, I'm gonna finish eating, you guys go ahead."

Alice and Kelly went down the hall and talked to the nurse. She reluctantly agreed to let them in for a few minutes.

Jack finished his meal, then stood at the window, looking out, but not seeing anything. He was still standing there when the women re-entered the room. Alice quietly cleaned up the remains of Jack's meal, while Kelly stood next to him, took his hand, and put her head on his shoulder.

Jack cleared his throat and looked down at her. "Did you and Beau talk to Tyler?"

"No, Russell said he hasn't been home for a couple days. He said Tyler probably went into the woods. He does that sometimes–goes out to be alone, to think. But Beau said he'd try to handle the buyer in the morning, if Tyler doesn't show up."

"Oh, all right. Thanks, Kelly. And thank you both, for bringing me supper. I'm gonna go back t'the room now."

"Try to get some sleep tonight, Jack," Kelly said, giving him a hug.

Alice hugged him next. "You let us know if you need anything." She put her hand on his cheek and looked into his sad eyes. "We'll stop again tomorrow."

* * *

Tyler was surrounded by the tall red pine trees and the paper birches that seemed to glow in the light of the fire. The stars above sparkled like silver glitter against the black velvet of the clear night sky. He'd done a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching today. His heart felt bruised and raw, naked and exposed. He knew, however, that it was time to make amends. It was time to say good-bye.

He stood up and stepped away from the fire, a large eagle feather in one hand, a small clay bowl in the other. The bowl contained the sacred herbs: sage, sweetgrass, tobacco, and cedar, and a fragrant smoke drifted up from the herbs in a lazy, sibilant path. He faced the east and moved the feather over the smoke, towards himself. He turned in a slow circle, continuing to cleanse himself in the smoke. He cleared his mind and felt the bad feelings and negative energy slowly seep out of him. He thought of Ennis willed his mind to release himself from his feelings of sexual love. He could never completely erase the love he felt for Ennis, but he could control it and make it the same as the affection he held for his close friends. It would be hard, but this was a step he knew he needed to take. He completed the circle and felt the smoke enter his body, his mind, and his spirit. When he was done, he lay next to the fire and continued to nurture the spiritual cleansing until he the fire died down and he fell asleep.

Tyler woke early and cleaned up his camp, making sure the fire was out and the rest of the area cleaned of all signs of man. He rolled up his sleeping bag and hiked out of the forest, a new sense of purpose clear in his mind. He was going to talk to Rusty Anderson, the owner of the feed store. He'd offered Tyler a job a few weeks ago and he was going to find out if it was still available. He also decided he was going to the community college to sign up for classes. He felt a sense of almost relief and excitement–like he was starting a new journey. The thought of Ennis crossed his mind, but he pushed it away, determined to stick to his resolve.

After a long shower, he called Rusty and agreed to start at the feed store the next Monday. Tyler then realized he should go out to the farm and tell Jack and Ennis what he'd decided. He knew he should have called them before, to let them know he wasn't coming to work the last couple days, but at the time, his heart was so wounded, all he could focus on was getting away, close to nature, where he could clear his head and heart. With that accomplished, he was ashamed at how foolish he'd been, but was determined to make amends.

He pulled into the driveway of the farm and noticed Beau's motorcycle and a big fancy truck and trailer. _Looks like a buyer_. He parked by Beau's bike and went to the door and knocked. There was no answer, which was unusual. _Where's Kelly? _he wondered. _Must be running an errand_. He walked back to the barn and was surprised to find Beau alone with the man in a fancy cowboy shirt and dark jeans.

"Tyler, I'm so glad you're here!" Beau said, a tight smile on his face and relief clear in his pale blue eyes. "This is Mr. Aames. Can you help him? He's here to pick up his horse."

"Um, sure, Beau. Where are Ennis and Jack?"

"We can talk about it after. This won't take long, right?"

"No, no, of course not." Tyler took over, while Beau followed along, listening and contributing when he could.

When Mr. Aames left, Beau lead Tyler to one of the benches where they both sat down. "Ennis had an accident yesterday."

"What? Is he okay?"

"He fell off the barn roof and hit his head. He's in the hospital. He's still unconscious."

Tyler just looked at him for a minute before asking, "Is he going to be all right? What does the doctor say?"

"She just isn't sure."

"I see." He swallowed hard and took a deep breath against the panic rising in the back of his throat.

"Jack wanted me to ask if you can work for a few days."

"Yeah, sure. I was here to tell them that I found another job, but I can help out, of course, of course." They were silent for a long time.

"How are you doing? Last time I saw you things seemed a little rough."

Tyler hesitated before replying, "I'm okay, with all of that. I guess you probably figured out that I had, well, some pretty deep feelings for Ennis. I know he felt something, too," he said softly, but didn't explain further. "Jack talked to me and made it clear that he and Ennis had worked things out–that their love is stronger than ever. It's inspiring, really." A wry, sad smile crossed his face. "I did a lot of thinking and realized I had to get control of my feelings. Anyway, he left it up to me to keep working here or not. I needed some time to think, so I went out into the woods. I can think better there . . ." he trailed off, his eyes soft.

"Where'd you go?"

"A few miles from my dad's house. Near Deer Lake."

"Is that close to here?"

"No, it's probably around ten miles from here. Why?"

"No reason–just wondering. So, what happened?"

"I did a lot of thinking, a lot of soul-searching, a lot of cleansing, and I realized the best thing to do was to find somewhere else to work and I decided to start at the community college next quarter. I got a job at the feed store."

"Good for you, man." Beau got a thoughtful look on his face. "So, if you're staying around here, maybe we can get together sometimes?"

"Yeah, I'd like that. But . . ." he hesitated.

"What?"

"I just . . . I like you a lot, Beau, but I don't know if I'm ready to, you know, get involved with anyone right now."

"Sure, I understand. I was just thinking we could hang out, grab a beer once in a while."

"Oh, yeah. That'd be great," Tyler said, his eyes far away.

"Well, we'd better get to work. What needs to be done first?" Beau asked.

"Um, I guess the horses stalls need to be cleaned." He stood up and started towards the end of the stalls, then turned back. "I'll be right back, okay?" He went out the door, around the corner, and bent over, breathing hard. He stayed like that for a few minutes, praying that Ennis would be all right.

* * *

Jack drove into the driveway in the early afternoon and put his head down on the steering wheel. He'd stopped at McIntyres and talked to Bobby about Ennis. Bobby seemed calm, but Jack could tell he was close to tears. Ellen was going to bring him by later to pick up some clothes for a few days and Jack promised Bobby he'd stop or call every day, and for sure he'd call when Ennis woke up.

He raised his head and looked around, not wanting to make the call to Wyoming. Junior and Franny adored their daddy. He didn't want to be the one to have to call them, but who else could it be? There was no one. He got out of the car and walked tiredly up the steps and didn't stop until he was in his office. Jack found the number, written in Ennis's messy handwriting. Seeing that almost brought tears to his eyes, but he took a deep breath, willed them away, and dialed the number. The phone rang four times before it was finally picked up.

"Hello?" It was Alma.

"Alma, this is Jack Twist."

"Jack," the cool way she said his name chilled Jack over the phone line.

"Alma, sorry to call you, but Ennis was in an accident."

"Is he okay?" she asked, some of the coolness replaced by genuine concern.

"Well, yesterday he fell off the barn roof and hit his head on a rock. Hit it pretty hard. He hasn't woke up since."

"Oh, no," Alma breathed, tears in her voice. Jack got the sudden feeling that Alma really loved Ennis, or did at one time.

"Sorry I didn't call yesterday. I was hopin' he'd wake up afore I had t'call you and the girls, but he hasn't an' I didn't wanna wait any longer. Thought you'd wanna know."

"Yeah, I . . . I'm glad you called."

"D'you want me to talk to Junior and Franny?"

"No, o' course not. I'll tell them." Some of the coolness returned.

"Sure, course you will."

"You'll call, though, as soon as he wakes up, or . . ." she didn't finish.

"Yes, ma'am, I will."

"Thank you."

There was a silence over the line until Jack said, "Well, I'll keep you updated."

"Thanks, Jack. Bye."

"G'bye." Jack hung up the phone and looked out the window. The barn and the stable, so neat and orderly, the paddock and outer pastures, so tidy and calm looking. It was theirs, the dream they had, the dream he'd nurtured for years, come true. _This can't be the end of it, _he thought. _Ennis will be all right and he'll come home and I'll get fuckin' L.D. out of our lives and things will finally be just the way they should be. Right? I'm sure of it, _he thought, but deep in his heart, there was doubt, no matter how hard he tried to hide from it. Jack shook his head and turned. He was going to take a shower, change clothes, and go back to the hospital. He didn't want to be gone when Ennis woke up.

Nancy was in Ennis's room when he returned. "How is he?" Jack asked.

She sighed, "He's still not awake. I think we have to face the fact that he's in a coma, Jack. There's a new scale for testing patients who may be in a coma, the Glasgow Coma Scale. It measures eye, verbal, and motor response."

"Motor response?"

Nancy smiled, "Motor, in this case, means physical reactions, like to pain. I've just finished assessing Ennis and, at this point, he appears to be in the moderate to severe range."

The color drained from Jack's face. "Moderate to _severe_? What does that mean? Is he going to die?"

"No. It's very likely that he'll wake up. His injury doesn't appear to be that critical, but with head injuries, well, sometimes it's hard to tell. He could wake up today or two weeks from today. Or, Jack," her voice softened, "he might never wake up."

"Oh God," he sobbed, his hands moving to cover his face, his knees no longer able to support him. Nancy put her arm around him and led him to the chair.

"Jack, that's unlikely. I expect him to wake up soon. Honestly. I'm sure he's going to be okay."

He wiped his eyes and looked up at her. "Yer not just sayin' that t'make me feel better? 'Cause I want the truth."

"No, I'm not just saying that, Jack. I fully expect him to wake up. I just wanted you to be aware of all the possibilities. Do you want me to stay with you for a while? Or send in a nurse?"

"No, I'd like to be alone with him."

"All right. The nurse will be in after a while to take his vitals, but in the meantime, it might help if you talk to him, Jack. Let him know you're here. I think that helps. I really think coma patients can hear us talk to them." Jack didn't say anything, just nodded to let her know he'd heard. "I'll be back in a little while, too." She started to turn, then stopped and leaned down to hug him. He clung to her for a moment, then let go and his eyes went to Ennis.

Jack stood and took Ennis's hand in his and looked down at the still face. He didn't say anything at first, just watched for movement, prayed to see the eyes open, but it didn't happen. "Ennis, darlin', if you can hear me, please wake up. Please . . . I can't stand the thought of living . . . without you." He stopped, his heart in his throat. He leaned down to put his mouth close to the delicate ear and whispered, "I love you, Ennis, with all my heart." After a while, he sat back down and fell asleep in the chair, Ennis's hand still enclosed tightly in his.

* * *

And so the week went. Each day became a quiet nightmare mirror of the day before. Jack spent the night in the hospital, sleeping in the chair next to Ennis's bed, then home in the morning to shower and change, check in with Kelly and the friends that had called, check on the farm, talk to Beau, and sometimes Tyler, then over to McIntyres to visit Bobby, and back to the hospital. Ellen brought Bobby in to have his cast removed and Jack took them out to lunch, then he returned to Ennis's room. The nurses, for the most part, were understanding and sympathetic and those that weren't didn't come back. Jack was pretty sure Nancy, or Dr. Nelson, as the nurses all knew her as, had a big hand in that. On the seventh day, there was a change in the routine. Anna Grant requested that Jack come in to her office to work on their case.

"Jack, do you want me to request a continuance, until Ennis wakes up?"

Jack sighed. "No, I don't really want to do that. I just want to get this over with."

"Are you sure you're going to be up to it? A trial can be extremely stressful and, well, I don't know if you can handle it. I don't know if anyone could handle it in your situation."

"Anna, I just want it over with." He was silent for a while, then asked, "How long before I have to decide?"

"Of course, the sooner the better, but we can wait–see what happens." She handed him a stack of papers. "Here, why don't you take these with you and go over them at the hospital. Those are the affidavits L.D.'s lawyer sent. Make notes on them. Look for information that isn't correct. We have to reply in a few days, so can you come back in, say, day after tomorrow, to get it typed up?"

"Sure. What time?"

"I'll be in all afternoon, Jack, just come in when you feel like it."

"Okay. Thanks, Anna."

"And Jack? Maybe you should take a night off, sleep in your own bed."

"I can't."

"If there's any change, the hospital will call you–"

"No, you don't understand. I can't sleep in my bed, _our_ bed, without him. Not now, not like this." He stopped and looked away, unable to continue.

Anna's eyes filled with tears, seared by his pain.

Jack sat in the hospital room, his blue eyes dark with pain, his shoulders slumped, his dark hair disheveled. He stood and stretched and decided to go track down a cup of coffee. He glanced down as he started to turn and found a familiar pair of chocolate brown eyes staring back up at him. He blinked and looked back and found Ennis's eyes closed. He leaned close and said, "Ennis?" He touched the pale cheek, but the eyes didn't open and Ennis didn't move. _Did I imagine it? Am I seeing things? Am I losing my fuckin' mind? _He sat back down, unwilling to leave. He tried to stay awake, but his exhaustion was too great and before long, his head was bobbing and finally, he fell into a restless sleep.


	32. Chapter 31

This isn't a song fic, but I'm starting this chapter with the song that inspired the chapter, just because it's so amazingly beautiful. If you have a chance to listen to the song, you'll see just how beautiful it is.

we have both been here before  
knockin' upon love's door  
begging for someone to let us in  
knowing this we can agree  
to keep each other company  
never to go down that road again

my beloved one  
my beloved one

your eyes shine through me  
you are so divine to me  
your heart has a home in mine  
we won't have to say a word  
with a touch all shall be heard  
when I search my heart it's you I find

my beloved one  
my beloved one  
my beloved one

you were meant for me  
I believe you were sent to me  
from a dream straight into my arms  
hold your body close to me  
you mean the most to me  
we will keep each other safe from harm

my beloved one  
my beloved one  
my beloved one  
my beloved one

"Beloved One", Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals, Album: _Burn To Shine_

Chapter Thirty-One

_September 11, 1976_

Janie took a sip of coffee, then looked up at the knock on her door. Beau was standing in the doorway. "Come on in." He stepped in and sat on the wicker chair near her bed.

"What's all this?" he asked, waving his hand in a sweeping gesture over her bed. There were papers all over it. Janie was propped against the headboard, two pillows behind her back, a yellow legal pad on her lap, and a pen in her hand.

"It's all my information on Bobby and Jack. I'm working on my report for Judge Lundeen." She looked at him. "Beau, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Well, you've been working at the farm. What do you think? About Bobby living there, I mean."

"You're not gonna put it in your report, are you?"

"No, I just want another opinion."

"Do you think the lawyers will make a big deal out of the fact that I'm your brother and I work at the farm?"

"I don't know. Probably, but since I'm not officially working on this, well, sort of I am, but the report is something extra the judge asked for, so I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just going to do what he wanted. I'll let them worry about it."

"Okay, well, I don't actually see Bobby and Jack that much. There's a lot of work to do at the farm and Ennis keeps us busy. Jack does all the paperwork, so he's in the house a lot. Bobby spends most of his time with Danny, but he's expected home for lunch, unless he's eating at Danny's. That's probably when I see them together the most–at lunch. We all talk, joke around, laugh, and Bobby's part of that. He listens to Jack and Ennis, just like they're his parents. Well, of course Jack _is_ his parent, but he's the same with Ennis." Beau paused, thinking. "Jack is always so patient with Bobby. I can see they love each other."

"Does Bobby ever talk about his grandparents?"

"Not around me, no."

"Have you ever seen Jack, or Ennis, for that matter, spank or hit Bobby?"

Beau snorted, "No way. He's a good kid. They don't even need to tell him something more than once or twice and he minds. He has good manners, too."

"Beau, this might sound weird, but I have to ask. Have you ever seen Jack and Ennis do anything, you know, umm, inappropriate? In front of Bobby?"

Beau's eyes narrowed, "What do you mean by _inappropriate_? If you mean something sexual, no, I haven't. I can't even imagine them doing something like that where someone might see them. If you mean a kiss or holding hands . . . I'll be really disappointed in you, Janie. If they were a straight couple you wouldn't even ask that."

"Beau, of course I meant sexual. I told you I had to ask."

He gave her a mock glare, then said, "To be honest, I wouldn't know Jack and Ennis were, you know, a couple, if someone hadn't told me. Well, I take that back, I probably would've figured it out pretty quickly, but I'm tuned into guys like them–like me. But they just don't show it, unless you're looking for it. It's in a look or the brush of hands, a touch. They're very subtle."

"Do you have any concerns? Any at all?"

"Yeah, I'm concerned about Bobby getting spoiled from having two great dads," he replied, a grin on his face.

"Goofball. I'm serious."

"So am I, sis. So, is the interrogation over?"

"Yes, yes." She flapped her hand at him. "Go on."

"Janie," Beau looked down at his hands, "umm, I thought you might ask about the other farm hands. You do know that two other gay guys work there. Do you think it might be brought up in court?"

"Damn, you're right. But who would know that?"

"Well, I know Jack mentioned something that his lawyer was concerned that L.D. seems to get information he shouldn't have known about. And before Ennis fell off the roof, he thought he saw someone in the woods. I've been thinking about it and I think someone's been spying on the farm."

"But you said nothing goes on there, except work."

"Yeah . . . but, well, when Jack and Ennis were in Wyoming I, that is, I mean . . . God, I can't believe I have to tell you this like this. Tyler and I were working there alone and, well, we–"

Janie clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. "Oh no! You didn't have sex with him at the farm!"

"No! God, get your mind out of the gutter! We kissed a few times. But since no one else was around, we didn't bother to hide. Not that we should have to," he added. "I never even thought of someone spying until Ennis fell. I'm sure Tyler didn't think of it either. Do you think L.D. will use that against Jack, if he knows?"

Janie frowned. "I don't know. I mean, Jack and Bobby were gone and it's not like you or Tyler were committing adultery–you're both single. It just happens to be that you're both men. I'd guess his lawyer might try to say it's an unhealthy environment to raise a child in." She was thoughtful for a few minutes, while Beau sat, feeling miserable about the whole situation. "Hey," Janie said suddenly, "you didn't even tell me about you and Tyler. What gives, big brother?"

"First of all, I don't tell you about everyone I make out with. Besides, it's not like it even led anywhere."

"Really? Why not?"

"I don't know if I should tell you, Ms. Social Worker."

"Stop it, I'm listening strictly as your sister now."

"Put down the pen and notebook, then."

"Oh, all right," she said and tossed them towards the end of the bed.

"I really like him and I think he likes me, but he's been too hung up on Ennis. I think he's in love with him. Or was. I don't know. Jack and Ennis seem to have worked everything out between themselves, but Tyler is still trying to deal with it."

"Wow, it's like a soap opera," Janie said.

"Don't joke, Janie. It isn't funny."

"I'm not joking. It's kind of sad, really. And there's more. Kelly told me, a while ago, that she was in love with Tyler, but, of course, she knew she wasn't his _type_."

"I didn't know that."

"She does seem to have moved on, though, with Dwayne."

"Thank goodness he and Dayle are straight. Can you imagine what L.D.'s lawyer would do if we were _all _gay?"

"Yeah, thank goodness."

"Speaking of Dayle, how is he?"

Janie blushed and said, "He's just fine. I keep telling him I'm too old for him, but he doesn't believe me."

"Yes, I can tell you push _really_ hard," he said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sure he'll find a young, cute college girl soon and forget all about me."

"Then he's a cad."

"A cad? Who talks like that?" She grinned at him just as the phone rang.

"I bet that's the cad, now."

"He's not a cad!" Janie threw a pillow at him. "Get out of my room!" She answered the phone as Beau left. He picked up the pillow and tossed it back at her, noticing that her cheeks had flushed to a pretty rose as she smiled into the phone. _Ah, I guessed right_, he thought.

* * *

Jack returned from the waiting room with a cup of coffee. He'd actually quit smoking after the first couple of days of Ennis being in the hospital. The hospital didn't allow smoking in the rooms and he found it took too much time away from Ennis to go outside and smoke, so he'd given it up. He was surprised to find he didn't miss it as much as he thought he would. He stood at the window, watching the sun set as he drank his coffee, then returned to his chair and took Ennis's hand in his, threading their fingers together.

He realized he must have dozed for a while, because next he knew, Hilary, the nurse who usually worked nights, was in the room, checking on Ennis. He'd long ago stopped dropping Ennis's hand when the nurses were in the room. He figured the fact that he was here almost twenty-four hours a day probably made them aware he and Ennis were more than just friends.

"Hey, Jack. How are you tonight?"

"Same as always. How're you?" His smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Just fine." She finished writing in Ennis's chart and looked at Jack again, noting the dullness behind his brilliant blue eyes. "Jack, you look exhausted. Why don't you go home and get a real night's sleep. I promise I'll call you the minute, the second, there's a change. You've been sleeping in that chair for two weeks now."

Jack smiled a small smile. "Thanks fer yer concern, sweetheart, but I can't do that."

"Well, how about I find you an empty room here and you can sleep in a bed and still be close."

Jack looked at Ennis's pale face. "No, I think I'll stay right here."

She sighed. "All right, but Jack, if you want to lie down, there's a little room next to Ennis. I'll be the only one in here tonight, unless there's a problem. No one would know and you might actually get some sleep."

"I didn't think that was allowed."

"Well, I'm not gonna tell anyone, besides, it happens all the time."

"Not with two men, though, I bet."

"You got me there, but so what?" She winked at him and put the chart in its slot at the end of the bed. "I'll be back in a couple of hours, unless you need me before that."

"Thanks, Hilary."

She smiled warmly and closed the door firmly behind her.

Jack looked at Ennis. He looked so strange, with his hair buzzed off. They'd done that when Nancy had put the stitches in, but Jack hadn't known until she'd removed the bandage. He ran his hand over the prickly hair, then gently down Ennis's cheek, which was also prickly. _Need a shave, bud,_ he thought._ I prob'ly do too._ He thought about laying down next to Ennis. Now that Hilary had put the idea into his head, he couldn't get it out and the need became overpowering. He moved Ennis's hand and lay down carefully, facing him.

"Ennis, please wake up. I need ya so much. I can't live without ya, bud." It was the same plea he made every day, every hour. Jack raised his head and put his lips on Ennis's for a moment, then put his arm across Ennis's chest and soon fell asleep.

Jack woke later, startled, sensing someone else in the room. He opened his eyes and saw Hilary, checking on Ennis. He started to get up, but she stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest. "Stay there," she whispered. "I'll be done in a minute. I didn't mean to wake you."

He thought about getting up anyway, but she was right, he was exhausted, and it felt so good to be here, next to Ennis, so he stayed where he was. "Thanks, Hilary," he murmured and fell asleep again.

* * *

Jack thought he heard someone say his name, a soft whisper in the night. He snuggled closer to Ennis, still lost in his dream that they were at home, in their own bed.

"Jack."

"What, baby?" He tightened his arm around Ennis.

"Where are we?"

Jack became still, then opened his eyes slowly and found himself looking in the deep, dark eyes next to him.

"Ennis? Oh my god." Jack's eyes filled with tears. His relief was so strong, so overwhelming, he couldn't stop them.

"Jack, where are we?" Ennis's eyes were scared and confused, his voice rough from disuse.

Jack put his hand on Ennis's cheek and said, "In the hospital. You fell off the barn. Do you remember?"

"I hurt all over, Jack."

"I know, darlin'." He looked at Ennis, almost unable to believe his own eyes, his own ears. Finally, he kissed Ennis gently and got off the bed. "I'm gonna get the nurse." He opened the door and looked out, saw Hilary a few doors down and motioned to her. "He's awake."

Her eyes lit up with a smile. "Really? Oh, Jack!" She followed him into the room.

Ennis's eyes were closed, but he opened them again when Jack called his name softly.

"Hello, Ennis. I'm Hilary. You've given us all quite a scare. How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"That's normal. I'm going to call Dr. Nelson and let her know you're awake, okay? I'll be back in a few minutes." She sent Jack a joyful smile and left the room.

"How long've I been asleep, Jack?"

Jack hesitated. "Maybe you should just rest until the doctor gets here."

"Jack . . ."

"Two weeks, near 'bout."

"Two weeks?"

"We been so worried about you." Jack took his hand and held it close to his heart. "I was so afraid, Ennis, so afraid you might not ever wake up."

"Oh, Jack. I'm sorry."

"No, you ain't gotta be sorry. Wasn't yer fault. Was an accident."

Ennis closed his eyes and after a few minutes, Jack realized he'd fallen asleep again, so he sat down to wait for Nancy.

She came in a little while later, followed by Hilary. "I hear we have some good news."

"He went to sleep again. I hope that's all right," Jack said.

"It's fine, Jack. In fact, he'll probably be more asleep than awake for the next few days. That's perfectly normal."

"Does this mean he's going to be okay? Really okay?" Jack asked.

"Yes, Jack. Now, I really think you ought to get some sleep or I'll be treating you next."

"I'm not leaving here. Not yet."

Nancy just smiled at him, then turned to Ennis, who had started to stir. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Ennis, it's nice to see those big, brown eyes of yours again. How're you feeling?"

"Already told Jack. I'm tired an' I hurt all over."

"Hurt real bad? Any sharp pains, or just achy feeling?"

"Just achy feeling. My head hurts bad, though."

"You got stitches in it. You hit it pretty hard. Do you know your name?"

"Ennis. Del Mar."

"When's your birthday, Ennis?"

"October sixth."

"What year?"

"Forty-four."

Nancy looked at Jack for confirmation and he nodded. "What year is it now?"

"Seventy-six."

"Good, good. You know this guy?" She pointed at Jack.

"Yeah, that's Jack. Jack Twist."

"Do you know his birthday?"

"November seventh. Same year as mine." Jack nodded in agreement.

"How many daughters do you have?"

"Two."

"What are their names?"

"Junior and Franny."

"Are you getting tired, Ennis?" He just nodded. "All right, I'll leave you alone for now. I'll be back in the morning to check in on you." She leaned down and kissed his cheek and said softly, "I'm so glad you're back with us." She stood up. "You don't have to leave, but you have to get some sleep, Jack. That's an order."

"Yes, ma'am."

She turned and went out the door. Hilary followed, but stopped at the door and turned back, "Maybe you better lie down again, Jack. Seems to be good for Ennis." She winked at him and left.

Ennis opened his eyes. "What'd she mean?"

"I been sleepin' in this chair every night an' tonight Hilary told me I oughta jus' lie down next t'you, so I did. That's when you woke up."

A hint of panic came into Ennis's eyes. "She know 'bout us?"

"Ennis, by this time, I'm sure the whole damn hospital knows 'bout us. I been here, by yer side, barely leavin', fer two weeks. Wasn't no help fer it. Wasn't no way I was leavin' you here alone." Jack could see that Ennis wanted to be mad, but he was just too tired. "Is it okay with you if I lie down next t'you?"

"Christ, Jack. 'Course it is." He moved over slightly, to make more room.

Jack laid down and took Ennis in his arms, his heart full to bursting with thankfulness. Ennis was asleep in moments, but Jack was awake for a long time, afraid that this had been a dream, that he'd wake up and find Ennis still in a coma. Towards dawn, Ennis stirred, put his arm around him, and snuggled closer, and Jack believed. His eyes closed and he fell into a deep, restful sleep.

* * *

"Hello, Alma?"

"Yes."

"It's Jack Twist, ma'am."

"You have news, Jack?" He could hear the fear in her voice.

"Ennis woke up last night. He's going to be okay."

"Oh, thank the lord," she breathed. "The girls'll be so relieved. We've all been so worried."

"I know. He wanted me to ask you to tell them he loves them and he'll call soon as he can."

"I'll tell them."

"The doctor said he'll be in the hospital fer a while, just to make sure, so it might be a few days or so. I brought him the cards they sent. Meant a lot to 'im."

"They love him a lot."

"I know. They're real special girls, ma'am."

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop calling me 'ma'am'. Makes me feel old."

He chuckled low, "Okay, Alma."

"Thanks for calling."

"Yer welcome. I better go now. Ennis'll call as soon as he can."

"All right. Bye."

"Bye."


	33. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

_September 13, 1976_

"I sure wish I could be there with you, Jack."

Jack ran his thumb over Ennis's knuckles. "Yer tan's fadin', cowboy."

"Jack? You okay?"

"Mm hm."

"You hear me?"

Jack shifted a bit; he was seated on the edge of Ennis's hospital bed. "I wish you could come with, too, Ennis, but you heard Nancy. She wants you t'stay here fer a few more days, make sure yer really okay. Even I can see you ain't ready t'go home yet."

"I know, but I hate t'think o'you havin' t'face that bastard L.D. alone."

Jack ran his hand over Ennis's hair, still marveling at the strange sensation, the prickliness tickling his fingers. Ennis closed his eyes and tightened his fingers in Jack's. "I'll be fine."

"Don't let him push you around."

Jack smiled down at Ennis, his eyes soft with tenderness. "I won't. Don't you lay here worryin', either. I'd feel terrible if I came back and found you was back in a coma."

A weak smile crossed Ennis's lips. "Don't even joke about that, Jack."

Jack leaned down and kissed him, said _sorry_ with their lips still pressed together. He sat back up just as the door opened and Molly, the usual morning nurse, entered the room. Jack felt Ennis tense up. He was still uncomfortable and unsure of how things should be between them in front of others. It seemed a little surreal to him that Jack had been sleeping here, holding his hand, maybe even kissing him, when there were other people, some of them strangers, in the room. It made him uncomfortable and, at the same time, filled him with a sense of wonder and hope.

"Hey, guys. How're you this morning?" Molly asked, a cheerful smile on her pretty lips.

She was greeted with two weak grins. "Fine."

Her brow crinkled. "You don't look fine. What's going on today? Why're you so dressed up, Jack? You sure do look handsome." Ennis recognized the look of adoration that came into Molly's blue eyes.

"I have to go to court today. My father-in-law is tryin' to get custody of my son. My wife died a few months ago."

A look of confusion and interest passed through Molly's features and Ennis imagined she was trying to figure things out in her mind, but she had the good manners not to press for more information and changed the subject. "Well, when you get back, Ennis will be in a different room. He's moving out of the ICU today to a regular room."

"What does that mean?"

"It means he's doing well," she said, her eyes sparkling.

Jack smiled down at Ennis and squeezed his fingers.

Molly took his blood pressure and pulse, recorded it in the chart, and left the room.

"I better get going," Jack said.

"Wait," Ennis said, and pulled him close. He looked into Jack's eyes, so big and clear. "Jack, I wanted to say . . ." his voice faltered, so he swallowed and tried again. "I want ya t'know . . . I'm glad you were here with me all this time. Sometimes, even though it was like I was asleep, I knew you were here with me. I could feel yer hand in mine, could hear ya talkin' t'me." He raised his hand to Jack's cheek and rested it there. "Made me want t'wake up and see this beautiful face."

Jack's throat closed up. "Ennis." He looked into the dark brown eyes, saw clear through to the soul within the man and was overwhelmed with emotion. He felt like was going to fly apart, into a million pieces.

"Jack. I love you."

Jack blinked. The strength of those words brought a calmness over him, like a warm blanket on a cold night. He smiled wide, his thousand-watt, just-for-Ennis grin that crinkled his eyes in the most adorable way. "I love you, too." He kissed Ennis, making it deep and soft and sweet, then stood up. "I gotta go." He squeezed Ennis's fingers one last time and walked out the door.

Outside the door, he suddenly felt weak. He leaned against the wall and scrubbed his hand down his face.

"Jack? Are you okay?"

"Oh, hey, Nancy, I didn't see you."

"That's okay, but really, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Just gets to be a little too much, ya know?"

"I know, dear." She put her hand on his arm and rubbed it gently, soothingly. "Anna told me what's going on today. I hope it goes well, Jack."

"Yeah, me too."

"Did Molly tell you that we'll be moving Ennis? Probably before you get back."

"Yeah, she did."

"I'm putting him in a private room, Jack."

"Thanks, Nancy." Jack looked up at her finally. "Can I ask you something? Something sorta personal?"

"Sure."

"You and Anna been together fer a long time. And you got kids. Did anyone ever try t'take 'em from you?"

"No." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you have a couple minutes, Jack?" He nodded. "Let's go to my office." He followed her down the hall, out to the main part of the hospital, and into a small, neat office. He took a seat across from her. "Jack, I've always known I was attracted to women. The reason I have my sons is because, in college, I was raped." Jack's eyes widened, but she was calm and went on. "I decided against an abortion, to keep the baby, which turned out to be twins. I had already met Anna and she was a part of that decision. We raised Dwayne and Dayle as _ours_, from the very beginning and no one ever came after them for custody. That doesn't mean we didn't wage other battles, however. There were people in the community who thought we shouldn't have them. Thought we'd corrupt them with our _evil ways_. I think they turned out pretty good, though." A gentle smile crossed her face, her eyes far away.

"Nancy, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks, Jack. It was a terrible thing, I'm not saying it wasn't, but I wouldn't have two amazing sons if it hadn't happened. I've come to realize that the most precious things in life, the things that make life worth living, are sometimes the hardest won. For example, you know by now that Minnesota has a lot of swamps and marshes. If you go down to the bottom you'll find muck and mud and scum, but what comes out of that? Lily pads and water lilies. I think water lilies are the most beautiful flowers on earth, in spite of where they come from. To me, my sons are like those water lilies. So beautiful and so perfect, no matter where they came from."

Jack just sat there for a moment, considering what she'd said, then stood up. "I better get going. I don't wanna be late."

Nancy came around the desk and put her arms around him, wrapping him in a hug. "Good luck today, Jack."

"Thanks, Nancy."

* * *

Jack stood at the top of the stairs, looking out the window at the town. A railroad track ran right through town, cutting it in half. A grocery store and a couple of gas stations were in front of the window, on each side of the tracks. Further out, he could see a river, the Mississippi, which also ran right through town, powered the paper mill where a lot of the men worked. The paper mill gave the air a strange smell on hot summer nights, which he and Ennis had discovered on the rare occasion they'd been in town late. He was stirred from his revery when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Anna's dark head appeared, her straight, glossy hair tucked behind her delicate ears, as usual. She was dressed in a dark skirt and jacket, with a white blouse beneath. She looked like she meant business today, which made Jack feel a little calmer.

"Good morning, Jack."

"Morning, Anna."

"You ready for today?"

"No."

"Well, I am, so come on." She lead him down the hall to the small conference room they'd used before. "Today should go smoothly. We'll try to settle one last time before the trial, exchange witness lists and the last of the discovery documents. There shouldn't be any problems."

"I'm sure L.D. will try to make problems."

"Let him try." There was a knock at the door and Jack could see Rick Lawson, L.D.'s lawyer, through the small glass window.

"Hello, Ms. Grant, Mr. Twist. I have some documents for you." He handed her a stack of papers and a large manilla envelope. "Can we talk for a moment?"

"Sure. I'll be right back, Jack." She took a stack of papers from the table and handed it to Rick, then followed him out the door.

Jack sat and waited, but it didn't take long for Anna to return. "They wanted to know if we'd settle for Newsome's being granted custody, if you were granted liberal visitation. I told him no. I asked for the same thing, but of course they turned it down."

"Is L.D. here? I don't hear him out there."

"Yes, he's here. Rick's keeping him under control, for the moment. Faye isn't here, though. She had a health problem, he didn't say what, and couldn't come. He informed the judge yesterday and the judge apparently said it was okay. She'll have to be here for the trial, though, or ask for it to be continued."

"God, I hope that doesn't happen. I can't hardly stand this much longer, Anna."

"I know, dear." Jack was reminded that Nancy had called him the same thing earlier. He thought of her strength and knew Anna must have the same iron in her and it shamed him that he sounded so weak. "But if it does happen, I ain't givin' in. I'll wait, no matter how long it takes."

Anna smiled at him. "Let's not jump ahead. It might not be anything too serious. Come on, let's go to the courtroom."

Jack followed her, carrying the stack of papers Rick had given them. Rick and L.D. were already seated at one of the tables in the courtroom, so they took the other one. L.D. gave Jack a look of pure venom, his beady eyes gleaming dark with malice.

"Are we ready?" the bailiff asked. At Anna's nod, he disappeared through a door in the back of the courtroom, only to reappear a few moments later, followed by the court reporter. "All rise." The judge came through the door next and took his seat at the bench. "Here ye, here ye, the ninth judicial district court is now in session, the honorable Judge Ralph A. Lundeen presiding. Please be seated."

"We're here for a pretrial hearing on a custody motion on case FA-76-196. State your appearances," Judge Lundeen said.

"Anna Grant, for the respondent, Mr. Jack Twist, who is seated to my left."

"Richard Lawson, for the petitioners, L.D. and Faye Newsome. Mr. Newsome is seated to my right, but Mrs. Newsome is not available today, Your Honor. Mrs. Newsome has a medical issue and was not able to fly to Minnesota. I did let the Court know yesterday, Your Honor."

"Yes, I recall, Mr. Lawson. That's fine. Will she be available for the trial or will you be asking for a continuance?"

"Your Honor, it's my understanding that she will be available. However, if complications arise, I will let the court know as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Mr. Lawson. Now, have the parties reached an agreement on anything?"

"Your Honor, if I may?" Anna started. She continued at his nod, "We have not. Custody of the minor child, Robert Twist, is still at issue."

"Is this also your understanding, Mr. Lawson?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Ain't ya gonna ask fer him to give us custody right now?" Jack heard L.D. ask.

"Shh. No, it isn't the time for that."

"Mr. Lawson, does your client have a problem?"

"No, sir." Rick put his hand firmly on L.D.'s and stopped him from saying anything further.

"All right, then, I guess I'll see you all back here, including Mrs. Newsome, on September 20 at 9:00 am, ready to proceed. Anything else today?"

"No, Your Honor."

"This hearing is dismissed then. Thank you." He rose and left the courtroom.

Rick Lawson nodded at Anna and Jack, gathered his files and stood. L.D. also stood up and turned to Jack. "Why don't you give up right now, you little pissant? Ain't no way, no way in hell, any court is gonna give custody of a little boy to a cocksucking faggot queerboy like you. Just give up."

Rick turned to L.D. and put his hand on his chest. "L.D., this ain't gonna work. I already told you that."

"Oh, so now my own fuckin' lawyer is fightin' fer the little queerboy. Goddamn lawyers, all a bunch of slimy cocksuckers."

Jack stood up. "L.D., do you think I want my son to be around someone like you–someone with a filthy mouth and a small mind? You're crazy if you think I'd ever willingly give my son over to you."

"You think I want my girl's boy t'be raised by someone like you? Fuckin' faggot. Where's yer cocksucking boyfriend? Why didn't he come today? Think I want my grandson around someone like that?"

"I think Lureen would want Bobby with his daddy."

"It's yer fault my girl's dead! _Yer fault_, you hear me! I told her not to marry you. I knew there was something wrong with you. Fuckin' queer. Goddamn faggot."

"I'm sorry Lureen's dead, but it wasn't my fault. She made her own choice that night. I felt guilty for it fer a long time, but no more. No more, do you hear me? She made her own choice. I know she was upset, but she coulda done something different. I'm sorry Bobby won't get to grow up with his momma, but I won't let him ferget her." He paused and shook his head. "Thank god she wasn't like you. She was beautiful and smart and sassy and had a good heart. I don't know where she got it from, musta been her momma gave it to her. But she's gone. I'm Bobby's daddy and I ain't givin' him up without a fight. You hear _me_?"

"You mouthy little cocksucker. I oughta go get that boy right now, afore he learns any more queerboy shit from you."

Rick finally stepped in and hissed to L.D., "That'd be kidnapping, Mr. Newsome and I won't be a part of that. Now, get yourself under control and walk out of this courtroom before the bailiff decides to take you out." The bailiff stepped forward, as if to emphasize the point.

"Fine, fine." He turned and started to leave, then turned back to Jack. "You just wait, though, you fuckin' cocksucker. I'll get that boy. You just wait."

Rick flashed an apologetic glance back at Anna and Jack and followed L.D. out of the courtroom.

Jack sat down, suddenly feeling tired and old beyond his years. Anna gathered all the paperwork and shoved it into her briefcase. "Do you have time to go back to my office and go over these new documents, Jack?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll follow you."

Once there, they started with the envelope. A frown crossed Anna's features as she looked at the stack. "They're photographs." The frown deepened as she began to sift through them. She looked up at Jack, the furrow between her brows so deep Jack's heart skipped a beat. She handed him the stack and he looked at the top one. It was a picture of him and Ennis, arms around each other, lips together, and it was a fairly close shot. The next one was of the same scene, only they were pressed together and Jack's hands were in the back pockets of Ennis's levi's. The next picture was closer yet and he could clearly see Ennis's tongue in his mouth.

Jack put his hand over his mouth and raised his frightened eyes to Anna. "What the hell is this?"

"L.D. obviously had someone taking pictures of you guys. Let's take a look at the witness list." She pulled it off the top of the stack of papers and handed it to Jack. "Do you recognize all those names?"

Jack read through the list, recognizing the names of co-workers, friends of Lureen's, friends of L.D. and Faye. He stopped at one name, surprised to find it there. Maria Calgaro, their friend and neighbor who used to watch Bobby. His eyes traveled down the rest of the list and there was one that stuck out, because he didn't recognize it. John Crater, with an address in Duluth. "I don't know this guy. What's he doing on the list?"

"I think we've just found out who L.D. had spying on you. It looks like John Crater is a private investigator. I'm assuming he's the one who took the pictures."

Jack handed her the list and kept going through the pictures. There were more of him and Ennis kissing, their hands all over each other, in different places: the deck, the porch, the garage, the barn, near the lake, in the trees. His stomach clenched and he had to look away. The thought of someone violating their privacy, intruding in this way, was near unbearable. He handed the stack to Anna and she went through them. After a few minutes, her lips raised in a smile. "Jack, something's missing from these pictures. I mean, they say a lot, but there's a lot they don't say. Or do say, in what's missing." She shook her head at his confused look. "Sorry, what I meant is, not one of these pictures has Bobby in it. And there are no pictures of you guys, you know, having sex. He's probably going to try to prove that you've broken the sodomy law, but he doesn't have any proof of it, unless there's something in the rest of the paperwork he gave me. These pictures, though, don't prove that. It's just you guys kissing, and not in front of Bobby."

"What if he saved them fer later?"

"He can't. If he's got them and he's going to use them he has to give them to us now. Of course, one of his witnesses can testify to seeing you have sex or something like that, but at least there aren't any pictures of it."

Jack groaned and leaned back in his chair. Anna looked at him for a moment, then said, "You know, Jack, I think we should do this another time. I think you should do something to try to relax and forget about it for a while. Come back tomorrow and we'll start fresh, okay?"

"You sure?"

"Yes. Go on. I'll see you tomorrow. One o'clock okay?"

"Sure, Anna. See you then."

"Okay."

* * *

Jack went back to the hospital and found out where Ennis's new room was. He opened the door slowly and saw that Ennis was tucked into bed, his eyes closed, his breathing even. Dr. Nelson had said he'd sleep a lot the first few days and he had. He'd actually put up less of a fuss than Jack had expected, which was worrisome in its own way, but Jack didn't think of that right now. His eyes softened as he stood just in the doorway, watching Ennis sleep, his sandy eyelashes like soft feathers against the freckled, flushed cheeks. Ennis shifted in his sleep, his breath hitched, and then his eyes opened slowly.

"Jack?"

Jack stepped forward and leaned down to kiss Ennis.

"How'd it go, bud?"

"Went okay. L.D. was his usual _charming _self." He smirked. "Faye wasn't there–had some sort of health problem and couldn't fly here from Texas."

"Oh. Any chance L.D. changed his mind?"

"And willingly allow his grandson to be raised by a _cocksucking faggot queerboy _like me? Not fuckin' likely."

"He didn't call you that at court, did he?"

"Sure did. Not when the judge was there, o'course."

"Oh, Jack, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"I know, Ennis. Look, I'm gonna go pick Bobby up and spend some time with him. I'll be back t'see you later. Hey, I bet I can bring him here with me, now that yer outta the ICU. That is, if ya wanna see him."

"Of course I wanna see him! Jesus christ, Jack," his voice softened, "don't you know by now that I love Bobby, just like he was my own son?"

Jack's eyes filled with tears, tears he'd held in check all morning, finally undone by these sweet words. "I know, bud. I'll bring him by after lunch. You get some rest until then, okay? I don't wanna halfta worry 'bout you anymore."

"I will, darlin'."

Jack leaned down and kissed him, then left the room. A few steps down the hall he realized he hadn't told Ennis about the pictures. He stopped and thought about going back, but didn't move. He knew Ennis would be upset about the pictures and he knew Ennis would upset if he didn't tell him about them right away. Finally, he turned and walked away, deciding to give Ennis a few more hours of peace before dropping that bomb on him.

* * *

There was a commotion in the hallway. Ennis leaned forward, even though he was already almost sitting up in bed, supported by the head of the bed being tilted up and a few pillows piled behind him. He heard running feet and then, clear as a bell, heard a loud voice ask, "Where's Ennis? Where's my other daddy's room?" Before Ennis could consider the implications of what he'd heard, the door was flung open and a three and a half foot bundle of energy, full of joy and indignation, jumped onto his bed and wrapped its arms around his neck, almost choking him. "Ennis, I missed you so much! I wanted to come see you so much! And no one would let me!"

Ennis ran his hand up and down Bobby's back. "I missed you too, son. Didn't anyone tell you I was in a special part of the hospital, where kids aren't allowed to visit?" Ennis saw Jack slip into the room and into the chair next to the bed, a wry smile on his face.

"Yeah, daddy and Mrs. McIntyre and Kelly did, but I didn't really believe them. I thought maybe you didn't want t'see me," he replied, his voice small.

"Bobby, that ain't true. Did yer daddy tell you I was asleep fer two whole weeks? I didn't wake up once that whole time. _Not once_. When I did, I wanted t'see you real bad. You and my girls, but I can't change the rules of the hospital. Anyway, yer here now, son."

Bobby's voice was even softer as he said, "I was so worried, Ennis, I thought you were gonna die, just like my momma."

"I'm all right, now. I ain't in no danger o' dyin'."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." Ennis leaned back and Bobby went with him, settling himself firmly into Ennis's arms. "What've you been up to while I've been here?"

"Well, I stayed at Danny's house mostly. We built a real neat racetrack fer our cars and we caught some real cool bugs and found a turtle and we named him Ernie, but Mrs. McIntyre made us let it go. We were gonna find another one and name him Bert, you know, like on Sesame Street? But we couldn't find a Bert and Mrs. McIntyre made us let Ernie go. She said it wasn't nice t'keep him cooped up in the bucket we had him in. Hey! I got my cast off, didja know that? Look at my arm, it's smaller than the other one. Dr. Nelson said it'll get t'be the same size as the other one, but I think it's real cool that it's smaller, don't you?" His train of words was stopped by a huge yawn that nearly cracked his face in two. "I ain't been sleepin' too good. I wanna go back t'my own bed at our house. When are you gonna come home, daddy?" He looked up at Ennis as he said this.

Ennis looked into those blue eyes, so familiar, so trusting, and was at a complete loss for words. "Real soon," he finally whispered. Bobby yawned again and tucked his head down onto Ennis's chest.

Ennis looked up and into Jack's eyes, unable to speak. He put his head down on the small, dark head and reached out for Jack's hand. Both he and Bobby fell asleep within minutes and Jack sat there, for a long time, watching them, each breath they took, as dear as his own.


	34. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

_September 14, 1976_

Jack padded down to the kitchen in a white t-shirt and blue-striped boxer shorts. It was still near dark outside, but he couldn't sleep. It felt strange and hollow to be in the big bed upstairs, all alone. It was the first night he'd slept at home since Ennis's accident and he'd only done it because Ennis had begged him to get a good nights sleep. He put on a pot of coffee and went back upstairs to dress, last night's conversation still running through his mind.

"_Jack, you look like shit. You ain't fuckin' superman, bud. You gotta get some sleep. Real sleep, not dozing in a chair," Ennis said, his eyes dark with concern, his arm still protective around Bobby._

_Jack started to protest, to tell Ennis he couldn't face the thought of sleeping in their bed all alone, but his protests were broken by a huge yawn that he couldn't stop._

_Ennis looked at him pointedly._

"_Okay, you're right. I'm exhausted." He also knew that if anything else happened, he wouldn't be able to handle it, not in his present state of mind._

"_Jack," Ennis said, so earnest Jack raised his head again. "I know yer strong, bud, but you don't always halfta be. I'll still be here tomorrow when you come back."_

_Jack leaned back in the chair and felt a weight lift off him. It was as if Ennis's words had broken through a wall–the wall of toughness he'd erected around himself. It had been there a long time. Probably ever since he was a boy. He always felt he needed to be in control, to be strong, to hold everything together, and he was afraid of the consequences if he didn't. No one had acknowledged it before, no one had ever given him permission to _not _be strong._

Jack, now dressed and back in the kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee and stepped out onto the deck at the side of the house. He thought again about his feelings last night. _Maybe Ennis was drawn to Tyler because he felt I didn't need him enough. He does the same thing, though, acts like he's such a tough guy, like he don't really need anyone. _He took a sip of coffee and was distracted momentarily by the cacophony of morning birds. _I didn't realize how much I did, how much I _do_ need him, until I almost lost him. Lost him for real. Why do we do that? Why do we act like we don't need anybody? _A small voice whispered, "Because if you don't need anybody you can't get hurt by nobody." _That's just stupid_, Jack thought. _All those years Ennis and I thought we didn't need each other to live, that we could make it by seeing each other a few times a year. We were such fools. I needed him and he needed me. Times we were apart, I felt dead inside, like there was nothin' t'live for 'cept the next fishing trip. Now that we're together, we're still used to havin' that feeling, like maybe this ain't real, like someone's gonna come and take it all away from us, so maybe we been sabotaging it ourselves. Ennis with Tyler and me gettin' caught up takin' care o'ever'thing 'cept him. _The tiny voice started to whisper that Ennis's transgression was greater, but Jack wouldn't hear it. _Don't matter, we both been wrong an' we both need t'fix things. Have t'let each other in. All the way. All the way in. I need him and he needs me. Not to live, but to_ live

Jack watched the orange sliver of the sun that slipped over the horizon and pierced through the trees. As it rose, it bathed the trees and barn, stable and house, lake and pine trees and white paper birches with a soft, golden glow. It illuminated all the things that he and Ennis were given by fate and her fickle ways. It helped him to realize how much they had. Even more reason for them to appreciate each other. All of this, all of it, meant nothing to either of them if they didn't have each other.

A little while later the door behind Jack opened and Tyler stepped out onto the deck.

"Morning, Tyler."

"G'morning, Jack." Tyler lowered his head, his eyes downcast. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Want some coffee? Just made a fresh pot."

"No, thanks."

"Okay, well, have a seat."

"Uh, okay." Tyler sat down next to him and looked out at the brightening sky, the orange and yellow light reflecting golden against his dark skin. "Jack, I wanted to talk to you. I want to . . ." he looked up into Jack's eyes finally, "I want to apologize for what happened. What I did was wrong. You trusted me." His dark eyes met Jack's unwavering and firm. "I didn't mean for things to happen like they did, I got caught up in my own emotions and I never stopped to think about how you might feel. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I hurt you." He paused and took a deep breath. "I also want you to know that I don't intend for anything like this to happen again. I respect what you and Ennis have. I don't want to hurt either one of you ever again."

Jack was silent. He didn't expect this. He wanted to hate Tyler. He wanted to blame him, instead of Ennis, but it was easier to blame someone who didn't take responsibility. A memory of something he'd said to Ennis up on Brokeback flashed through Jack's mind, _" . . .And Ennis, I lied to you right from the very beginning. I knew I was queer–always have. I wish . . . I wish it hadn't taken Tyler to make you realize it in yourself. Wish I coulda been enough for you."_ It still pained him, but he suddenly realized that what happened between Ennis and Tyler didn't have anything to do with him, not really. It wasn't because Jack was too strong or not strong enough. It wasn't because Jack gave too much or too little. It was just a part of Ennis's journey and something he'd needed to do, to experience. He still felt a twinge of hurt, that his love, his acceptance of Ennis wasn't the beginning, middle, and end of Ennis's journey, but he knew in his heart that it had been necessary, that he was too close to Ennis. He may never have been able to get past that protective wall they'd erected around themselves. It took someone from the outside. But he knew, with his whole heart, that _he _would be all Ennis needed from this point forward. He sent up a prayer of thanks that Ennis hadn't needed more than a couple of kisses to make that final realization.

Jack looked into Tyler's eyes. He had considered him to be a friend, had thought he was a good man. _How do I feel about him now? _Tyler met his gaze, strong, unwavering. Jack moved past the hurt and was suddenly thankful that, if Ennis had to go through what he did to admit to himself that he was really and truly a gay man, that he'd gone through it with this man. The man who came to apologize, albeit a little late. He didn't blame it all on Ennis, was taking responsibility for his own actions.

"Tyler, I respect you comin' over here to apologize. 'Course, I wish nothin' had happened between the two o' you, but it did and it's over. Maybe someday, well, maybe we can be friends again. All of us."

Jack could see the weight lift off Tyler's shoulders. "I'd like that, Jack." They were both silent, looking out at the rising sun, the new day.

"Well, what're yer plans?" Jack finally asked. "Beau said yer startin' up at the college soon and at the feed store."

"Yeah, Rusty hired me and he's willing to work around my school schedule. I put him off this past week because I knew you needed help, but I was wondering how much longer you might need me? I thought, if it's okay with you, I'd start coming part time and get started at the feed store this week. I'm not starting at the college until the second quarter, which starts the first of November."

"O' course. I sure appreciate yer help and if ya could keep comin' until Friday, just whenever ya can, that'd be a big help."

"Thanks, Jack. I sure don't deserve such a kindness."

Jack held out his hand and Tyler reached out to shake it. Before he could pull away, Jack covered Tyler's hand with his own and held it. "Sure you do. Mistakes were made, but we'll all recover." He smiled and let go of Tyler's hand. "'Course, if ya ever do anything like it again, I'll probly halfta kill ya." He continued to smile as he said it, but it gave Tyler a bit of a chill, just the same.

"You don't have to worry, Jack."

"I won't."

Ennis was not a good patient. When he first woke up from the coma, he slept a lot, but now, four days after his awakening, his irritability was increasing along with his waking moments. He wanted to go home, he wanted to get back to work, he wanted everyone to stop fussing over him, and he wanted the nurses to stop giving him and Jack _those looks_. Whenever they came in the room and caught them holding hands, their eyes would soften and their lips would smile in a secret, knowing way, just like Molly was doing right now. This wasn't even her ward and here she was, giving him _that smile _with soft, sparkly eyes. He glared at Jack, as if to say, _This is your fault. _

Jack was having none of it, though. He rose and gave Molly his biggest, brightest smile, and greeted her with real warmth.

"Where's the little one?" Molly asked.

"Kelly took him to find a soda machine. He _needed_ a root beer. I got the strong impression he thought he was gonna die without one."

Molly smiled. "Oh, I see. And how's our patient?" she asked, sparkling her eyes at Ennis.

He glared at her and grunted a sound which may have resembled, "Fine."

"Ready to go home?"

"Damn right I am."

"Nancy says he can go home tomorrow," Jack said.

"Don't know why it can't be today. Or yesterday."

"'Cause she's the doctor and you ain't."

"She's a good doctor," Molly agreed.

"Never said she wasn't," Ennis said brusquely. "Just wanna go home."

Jack squeezed his hand. "I know, bud."

The door opened behind Molly and Bobby came through, followed by Kelly.

"Here's that handsome boy I was asking about!" Molly said, rumpling Bobby's hair and smiling at Kelly.

"Hi! Hey, are you here to let my daddy Ennis go home? I want him to come home _today_."

"No, sorry, Bobby, only the doctor can let him go home."

"Darn."

"Well, I have to go. Good luck, Ennis," Molly said.

"You stop out at the farm any time you want. We'd love to see you," Jack said. Ennis nodded in agreement.

"I will."

"I have to get going, too," Kelly said. "See you all tomorrow." She winked at Ennis and followed Molly out the door.

"You got homework tonight?" Jack asked Bobby.

A huge sigh escaped from Bobby. "Yeah, I have to practice my spelling words and my handwriting. Ms. Thompson says it's too messy."

"I guess we better get going, then. Get you home to do your homework, have some supper and a bath before bed."

"But, Daddy, if we leave, Ennis will be here all alone."

"That's okay, Bobby." Ennis said. "They're gonna bring me my supper and then I'm gonna go right t'sleep. I wanna be all rested before tomorrow so I can go home."

"You sure?" Bobby asked, his eyes narrowed.

Ennis's lips lifted in a crooked smile. "I'm sure. You make sure t'practice yer spelling words. I wanna see you get them all right tomorrow."

"Okay, I will." He went to the side of the bed and reached out to give Ennis a hug. Ennis pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. "All right, go on. I'll see ya tomorrow."

"Will you be home when I get off the bus?"

"Yep, I sure will."

"Get yer stuff together into yer backpack." Bobby went to the corner of the room where he'd scattered papers, crayons, pencils, and markers on the floor and began gathering them to put in his backpack.

Jack moved closer to Ennis's bed and took his hand again. "You sure yer gonna be okay if we leave? I just hate goin' home without you every night."

"I'm fine, Jack. I hate it too, but I'll be there tomorrow." He leaned closer and said low, "We got a lotta time t'make up for."

Jack grinned and leaned even closer. "Is that a promise?"

"It sure is, darlin'. I've missed you." The last was said so soft Jack almost didn't hear it.

"I've missed you, too," he replied, soft as a breath. He put his free hand on the back of Ennis's head and pulled him close, met his lips in a kiss, light, but full of succulent promises. They pulled apart, but their eyes held each other tight for a long moment.

"Hi, Beau, what can I do for you? Need something for the farm?"

"Not tonight, Rusty, just thought I'd stop by and talk to Tyler for a minute. Is he still here?"

"Yep, just in the back moving some stock around. I'll send him out."

Tyler emerged from the back room a few seconds later, his white t-shirt covered in dust, his dark hair pulled back, as usual. He smiled when he saw Beau, a smile filled with surprise and warmth.

"What're you doing here?"

"Janie's gone for the next couple of days–at a training for work down in the cities. Thought I'd see if you feel like coming to my house tonight? We could pick up a pizza, see if there's a movie or something on tv."

"Okay, sure, yeah. I should probably go home and shower first."

"Nah, you can take one at my house, if you want."

Tyler looked like he might refuse, but didn't. "I'll be done in a minute."

A few minutes later Tyler walked out of the feed store and found Beau waiting by his motorcycle. "What are you going to drive when it starts to snow?"

"It snows here? Damn." He grinned at Tyler. "Guess I'll have to get a truck or something. You gonna follow me?"

"Sure."

"You could ride with me, but I don't know where we'd put the pizza."

"Or we could just stop somewhere to eat and skip the pizza."

"Oh, so you _want _to ride my motorcycle." Beau grinned, a thousand meanings in his eyes.

Tyler looked down and scuffed the ground, then raised his eyes, a small smile on his lips. "Yeah, I do."

Beau's eyes widened the tiniest bit, but his voice was suspiciously nonchalant."So, where should we go?"

"Sportsman's? They have good food. And they're fast."

"Sportsman's it is, my friend."

Tyler got on behind him and reached around his waist. Beau could feel the strong thighs next to his, pressed close. No hesitation, no holding back this time. He leaned back and said, "Hang on." Tyler leaned close and tightened his grip as Beau took off.

At the café, they sat in a booth, across from each other and each ordered the special–chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy and a roll.

"Have you thought anymore about what your plans are?" Tyler asked.

"I guess I'm gonna stick around here for a while. I know Janie likes having me here. I like working at the farm and I've met some really good people." He looked at Tyler pointedly, then Tyler felt Beau's leg move against his under the booth, next to the wall, and stay where it was. He looked around, but no one was watching them. In any case, he was pretty sure no one could see that far under the booth. He moved his leg against Beau's and the soft scrape of denim against denim ignited a fire in both men.

Tyler loved to listen to Beau talk, not only for the words, but for the way he said them. He was excited and animated, but in an understated way. His voice wasn't very deep, but there was an undercurrent of deepness in it, a roughness that sounded like it came from somewhere down deep in his soul. Tyler also loved the way Beau's light blue eyes shone and the way his blonde hair fell in silky curls down to his shoulders. He usually left it to hang free and wild and Tyler had found that he loved the feel of it between his fingers.

"And you, you're gonna be stuck in books all the time, come November. You won't have any extra time." Beau's lips went out in a mock pout.

"I'll have time for _some_ things."

"Mm . . . what _kinds_ of things?" Beau reached out to take a napkin from the holder and brushed Tyler's hand, as if by accident.

"Only the _most important _things." Tyler reached forward and pulled a piece of hay out of Beau's hair, brushing against his cheek in the process.

"And the most important people, I hope." Beau added softly, as his other foot moved forward, closer to Tyler's and brushed against it.

"Of course." Tyler moved his foot to touch Beau's, not caring if anyone saw or what they might think.

In unspoken agreement, they both ate quickly, tipped nicely, and left in a hurry.

Tyler followed Beau to the door of the cozy house. The tension between them was palpable, strung tight, like a guitar string wound too far. Beau opened the door and turned around before it was even open all the way, put his hands around Tyler's waist and pulled him forward, into the house. Their lips met in a kiss that went on and on, reckless and rough, yet suffused with tenderness. Beau reached up and took out the band that held Tyler's hair and ran his fingers through it, from scalp to ends, even as Tyler buried his hands in Beau's soft curls. They finally pulled apart, breathing hard. Impossibly dark eyes met the pale blue ones. Beau pulled Tyler's t-shirt out of his jeans, pulled it up and over his head as Tyler raised his arms to accommodate him, then dropped it on the floor, their eyes never breaking contact. Tyler repeated the process on Beau and when their bare chests came together an involuntary sound of pleasure escaped from deep within Tyler. Beau leaned forward and kissed him again, softer this time, deeper, his tongue exploring gently, as his hands moved to the front of Tyler's jeans. He undid the buckle of the belt, then the button and zipper, but didn't pull them down. He reached around to the small of Tyler's back and caressed the sensitive area with gentle fingers.

Tyler felt lightheaded, like he was on fire, like he was about to explode. He'd never experienced anything quite like this before. He followed Beau's lead with belt and button and zipper, then stopped and pulled back. He looked at Beau and it struck him that his hair was like sunshine and morning mist. He looked into Beau's eyes, the color of the sky on the sweetest summer day, and realized he was lost, felt like he could lose himself forever in those eyes, those sweet eyes.

Beau's forehead crinkled, questioning, _Do you want to stop?_

Tyler met his lips gently, breathed one word into his mouth. _No._

Beau took his hand and led him down the hall to the far room, his bedroom, and to the edge of the bed. "This is my room."

Tyler looked around. There were honey-colored wood panels on the walls, a dresser across from the end of the bed, and nightstand next to the bed. The bed was unmade and covered with a rumpled patchwork quilt, the sheets flowered with an orange, red, and green pattern. "Nice sheets."

Beau grinned without any shame. "Thanks. They're Janie's. They're actually really soft, though, so I like them."

"Soft sheets, huh?"

"Want to try them out?"

"Sure." Tyler lay down and looked up at him. "You're right, they are soft."

Beau climbed on top of him and leaned down. "I told you they were." They grinned at each other like little boys who'd gotten away with the cookie jar, before the mood shifted and their grins disappeared. Beau leaned down and kissed Tyler, all the mirth and teasing gone, replaced by pure desire.

Tyler's eyes were open, though it was dark, and he was wide awake, unable to sleep. He could hear Beau's even breathing behind him, felt the rise and fall of the chest that was pressed tight to his back. He didn't want to move, didn't want to sleep, didn't want to miss one moment of this night. This wonderful, amazing night. After a while, he shifted around to lie on his back. Beau moved with him and curled into his side, his leg and arm thrown over Tyler, his face pressed into the hollow of Tyler's neck. Tyler thought he was sleeping, so he was surprised when he heard Beau say softly, "Can't sleep?"

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm . . . I'm . . . good." There was a smile in his voice.

"Are you sure? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Tyler turned to look at Beau's face, even though he could only see the outline and his eyes shining in the dark. "No."

Beau smiled and kissed him and Tyler was filled with happiness, like he hadn't felt since he was a little boy and the world was easy.


	35. Interlude

Interlude

Tyler followed Beau to the door of the cozy house. The tension between them was palpable, strung tight, like a guitar string wound too far. Beau opened the door and turned around before it was even open all the way, put his hands around Tyler's waist and pulled him forward, into the house. Their lips met in a kiss that went on and on, reckless and rough, yet suffused with tenderness. Beau reached up and took out the band that held Tyler's hair and ran his fingers through it, from scalp to ends, even as Tyler buried his hands in Beau's soft curls. They finally pulled apart, breathing hard. Impossibly dark eyes met the pale blue ones. Beau pulled Tyler's t-shirt out of his jeans, pulled it up and over his head as Tyler raised his arms to accommodate him, then dropped it on the floor, their eyes never breaking contact. Tyler repeated the process on Beau and when their bare chests came together an involuntary sound of pleasure escaped from deep within Tyler. Beau leaned forward and kissed him again, softer this time, deeper, his tongue exploring gently, as his hands moved to the front of Tyler's jeans. He undid the buckle of the belt, then the button and zipper, but didn't pull them down. He reached around to the small of Tyler's back and caressed the sensitive area with gentle fingers.

Tyler felt lightheaded, like he was on fire, like he was about to explode. He'd never experienced anything quite like this before. He followed Beau's lead with belt and button and zipper, then stopped and pulled back. He looked at Beau and it struck him that his hair was like sunshine and morning mist. He looked into Beau's eyes, the color of the sky on the sweetest summer day, and realized he was lost, felt like he could lose himself forever in those eyes, those sweet eyes.

Beau's forehead crinkled, questioning, _Do you want to stop?_

Tyler met his lips gently, breathed one word into his mouth. _No._

Beau took his hand and led him down the hall to the far room, his bedroom, and to the edge of the bed. "This is my room."

Tyler looked around. There were honey-colored wood panels on the walls, a dresser across from the end of the bed, and nightstand next to the bed. The bed was unmade and covered with a rumpled patchwork quilt, the sheets flowered with an orange, red, and green pattern. "Nice sheets."

Beau grinned without any shame. "Thanks. They're Janie's. They're actually really soft, though, so I like them."

"Soft sheets, huh?"

"Want to try them out?"

"Sure." Tyler lay down and looked up at him. "You're right, they are soft."

Beau climbed on top of him and leaned down. "I told you they were." They grinned at each other like little boys who'd gotten away with the cookie jar, before the mood shifted and their grins disappeared. Beau leaned down and kissed Tyler, all the mirth and teasing gone, replaced by pure desire.

Beau kissed his lips before moving to his neck, still straddling his hips. Tyler ran his hands up Beau's back, felt the strength and softness of each curve and the heat radiating off his silky skin. He kissed Beau's shoulder, first with his lips, then with his tongue, tasted the salty sweetness of his skin, but was soon distracted by the delicious things Beau was doing to his ear. He didn't know it could feel so good to feel someone else's tongue touching him there. He felt sparks all the way down to his toes. A moment later Beau breathed, "I want you."

He pulled back and met Tyler's eyes. "I want you," he whispered again.

Tyler swallowed, unable to speak. He ran his hands up Beau's chest and down his arms, then back up and buried his hands in the blonde curls. "I want you, too."

Beau's eyes sparkled as he leaned back down and kissed Tyler again. "I'll be gentle," he said and felt Tyler smile against his lips before kissing him back.

"Promise?"

"I promise." Another kiss. "Well, maybe not _too_ gentle." Beau smiled and kissed him again, hungrier this time.

Tyler shifted under him, their jeans rubbed together, like in the diner. He'd known then that he'd wanted this, wanted Beau. He put his hands on Beau's thighs, rubbed them up and down, then around to his back. They were loose, still unbuttoned, and his hands went naturally into the gap created and felt the soft cotton of Beau's boxers under his fingers. Beau moaned when he felt Tyler's hands in that intimate place. Tyler's fingers moved lower and Beau arched into him, a low moan escaping from deep within his throat.

Their eyes met, each dark with desire, half-lidded and smoldering. Beau's tongue licked around Tyler's bottom lip, then his top lip–each side separately, like he was drawing them on a sacred canvas.

Beau stood up and pushed his jeans and boxers off in a swift motion. Tyler leaned up on his elbows and looked at him. Dusk filled the room with a shaded, half-light that seemed to soak right into Beau's skin, illuminating some parts and sinking other parts in deep shadow. He stood there for a moment, watching Tyler watch him, the dark eyes traveling down, then back up to meet blue eyes, before he leaned forward to pull Tyler's jeans and boxers off. Tyler lifted his hips to help, never taking his eyes off Beau's. Beau dropped them on the floor and put his hands on Tyler's knees, spreading his legs apart enough to stand between them.

He rested one hand lightly on Tyler's hip and ran the other one down Tyler's chest, to his stomach, his hand pale against the dark skin. His hands moved to the sensitive skin of Tyler's thighs and stroked them lightly, feeling the smooth skin and slightly scratchy hair on them under his fingers. He dropped to his knees and ran his tongue up Tyler's erect cock. Tyler, not expecting it, gasped. "Oh my god," he breathed and his head fell back. He felt Beau take the tip in his mouth and he thought he might pass out. He looked back down at Beau's head, his entire body on fire and tingling, unable to stop his hips from bucking up to meet those beautiful lips, to lose himself in that hot, wet mouth. Beau continued sucking and licking, his own cock hard and needy.

Tyler couldn't stop the gasps and moans coming from deep inside him. And then, suddenly, he was _there_. "God, Beau, stop . . . stop . . . I'm . . . oh god . . ." Instead of pulling away, Beau moaned and grasped Tyler's hips, taking him fully in his mouth until Tyler couldn't stop, couldn't help himself. He arched up off the bed and came, deep in Beau's throat. He fell back, gasping, and felt Beau crawl up next to him. It took him a moment to focus and meet Beau's eyes.

"How was that?" Beau asked, his eyes alight, _knowing_.

"I think you've killed me."

"That was just the preview."

"You mean there's more?"

"Of course there's more." Beau leaned down and kissed him and Tyler realized he tasted different, that he was tasting himself in Beau's mouth. He kissed him hungrily, wondering if he'd ever learn how to do that to Beau. Because he _wanted _to.

They shifted up so they were both lying on the bed, facing each other, Beau's leg over Tyler's hip, pulling him closer, his cock still hard. It didn't take long for Tyler's to return to a similar state. Still, Beau took his time, content, for the moment, to take Tyler's tongue in his mouth, to explore Tyler's mouth with his, to caress face and lips and neck with his hands, to feel strong hands on himself. He ran his fingers through Tyler's long hair and down his back. They strained together, more and more urgently.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Beau asked, breathless.

"Yes."

Beau looked at him for a long moment, deep in his eyes, into his soul. He kissed him and said, "Turn over." Tyler started to turn onto his stomach, but Beau stopped him on his side. He reached over and grabbed a jar of vaseline from the nightstand, opened it, and took some out. He leaned forward and kissed Tyler. "Relax. Just relax." He kissed him again, supporting Tyler's head with a hand under his neck. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

Tyler could feel Beau behind him, knew what he was doing, wanted him to keep going, but felt a fluttering of nervousness.

"Relax." Beau breathed again, took his lips in a deep kiss and Tyler felt Beau push in slowly, felt the slickness of the vaseline. He tensed up and Beau stopped. _It hurt_. "Want me to stop?"

_Yes. _"No." Tyler willed himself to relax. Beau pushed in further. _Oh god, I don't think I can do this_, Tyler thought. Beau stopped and kissed him again. His free hand went to Tyler's abdomen and held him steady. The kiss grew deeper, more urgent, and Beau pushed in further. Tyler tensed again. _I can't do this . . . I can't . . . oh god . . . _Suddenly, it felt like nothing he'd ever felt before. _So good, oh god, so good_.

Tyler arched back and Beau moved with him, slow and gentle. Their lips met in a long kiss before Tyler turned away and grasped handfuls of the sheet and pushed against the mattress, trying to get closer. He reached back and put his hand on Beau's hip, arched his head back for yet another kiss. Beau reached forward and grasped Tyler's silky hardness in his hand and started a slow rhythm that built to a crescendo.

Tyler felt like he was dying. Nothing could feel this good, this sacred, and not be a spiritual awakening. He was aware of only his body and Beau's, tangled together, each trying to get closer and closer. And then his body tensed, his toes curled, all thoughts disappeared into incoherence, and he was filled with orgasmic pleasure. Beau followed, filling Tyler in all ways. He felt a connection he'd never experienced before. The earth moved. They lay there for a moment, surrounded only by silence and the sounds of their breathing.

After a few moments, Beau kissed his shoulder and asked softly, "You okay?"

Tyler turned on his back and looked up. Beau's face was above him, concern lurking in his eyes. He reached up and touched the hot, flushed cheek. "I'm more than okay." Beau kissed him and curled around him.

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Tyler's eyes were open, though it was dark, and he was wide awake, unable to sleep. He could hear Beau's even breathing behind him, felt the rise and fall of the chest that was pressed tight to his back. He didn't want to move, didn't want to sleep, didn't want to miss one moment of this night. This wonderful, amazing night. After a while, he shifted around to lie on his back. Beau moved with him and curled into his side, his leg and arm thrown over Tyler, his face pressed into the hollow of Tyler's neck. Tyler thought he was sleeping, so he was surprised when he heard Beau say softly, "Can't sleep?"

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm . . . I'm . . . good." There was a smile in his voice.

"Are you sure? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Tyler turned to look at Beau's face, even though he could only see the outline and his eyes shining in the dark. "No."

Beau smiled and kissed him and Tyler was filled with happiness, like he hadn't felt since he was a little boy and the world was easy.


	36. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

_September 17, 1976_

Beau heard the alarm clock wake him with its horrible, loud clanging ring. He reached over instinctively to turn it off, but didn't quite make it. His arm was trapped. He opened his eyes, the memory of last night bringing a smile to his face.

"You gonna turn that off?" Tyler asked, peering out at him from the hair that fell across face. He was on his side, his head pillowed by Beau's arm.

"I would if I could reach it."

Tyler grinned, reached over himself, and turned it off.

Beau ran his hand down Tyler's arm and scooted closer. "Where are you working this morning?"

"The farm. I work at the store at noon.

"Should we just ride together? I could give you a ride into town at noon."

"Sure."

"You want to take a shower this morning?"

"Yeah." They were quiet then, each intensely aware of the other. Beau took Tyler's hand in his and brought it to his chest, then leaned in to touch his lips with his own. They didn't make it to the shower for a while and, as it ended up, they got to the farm a little later than usual.

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Jack pulled into the driveway and parked in front of the garage, then glanced over at Ennis, who was looking around, as if seeing everything for the first time. "You okay?" Jack asked.

Ennis looked at him and smiled. "I'm just glad t'be home."

Jack smiled back. "Me too, cowboy."

They went into the house, which was quiet and seemed empty. "Where's Kelly?" Ennis asked.

"She's at school. She's got a class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from noon 'til two. Bobby's at school, o' course, and Beau is out running some errands."

"You mean we got the place t'ourselves?"

"Yep."

Ennis narrowed his eyes at Jack. "You plan this out?"

Jack's eyes positively gleamed, even as he tried to look innocent. "'Course I didn't."

"Liar."

"Yep." Jack took his boots off.

"What're ya doin'? I thought I should go out and take a look around, make sure ya took proper care o' ever'thing while I was gone."

Jack stood up and put his hands on his hips, a retort ready on his lips, until he caught the smirk in the brown eyes. Jack reached out and grabbed Ennis by the waistband of his jeans. "Come 'ere, you."

"What're you gonna do?" Jack pulled him forward. "Hey, be gentle with me!"

"Don't worry, what I have planned for you is not gonna hurt. Although, it will have ya beggin' fer mercy and prayin' t'god."

"That a promise?"

"Mm hm, it sure is. Come on." He grabbed Ennis's hand and started to pull him towards the stairs.

"Hold on, Jack. I ain't even got my boots off yet."

"Well, hurry up."

Ennis just grinned at him and took one boot off slowly and dropped it on the floor, then took his time taking the other one off.

Jack rolled his eyes and turned around, unbuttoning his shirt on his way to the stairs. "That's it, I'm startin' without you."

Ennis started laughing–a real out loud laugh. Jack turned back, surprise naked on his face, and stood frozen in place. Ennis started toward him, his laughter turning to small chuckles that he couldn't keep inside. "Thought you were startin' without me, darlin'."

"I was. It's just . . . it's been a long time since I heard that sweet sound."

"What sweet sound?" Ennis put his arms around Jack's waist and pulled him close, brought his forehead to Jack's, their eyelashes nearly touching.

"You. Laughing. For real. I missed it, Ennis. I missed you."

"I missed you too, Jack." Ennis closed his eyes and kissed Jack.

After a moment, Jack broke away. "Come on, let's go upstairs." He took Ennis by the hand and lead him up the stairs. Once inside their bedroom, Ennis closed the door behind him and started unbuttoning his shirt, watching Jack do the same thing. They took off their t-shirts next, mirror images of each other, almost-shy smiles reflections of the other. Jeans, boxers, and socks followed, coming off even more slowly, savoring each look, each gesture, each moment. When they were both naked, Jack reached for Ennis's hand again and pulled him close. Ennis put his arms around Jack's neck and leaned close to kiss him. Their lips met and it was as if a key turned in a lock and all the shyness was gone and they couldn't get close enough to each other.

Jack broke away and turned to pull back the covers of their bed. He lay down and Ennis followed. Ennis turned his head into the pillow and took a deep breath. "What're you doin'?" Jack asked, smiling.

"Smells like home."

Jack's features softened and he put a gentle kiss on Ennis's lips. "Welcome home, baby."

"God, Jack, I'm so glad t'be here. With you." He reached up and ran his fingers down Jack's cheek. Jack turned and put a kiss in his palm, his blue eyes never leaving the brown. And then they were kissing, lips and tongues eager with want, thirsty from famine.

They pulled back for a moment, each taking ragged, uneven breaths. Jack put his hand over Ennis's where it rested on his hip. "I want you inside me," he whispered. He rolled to his back and Ennis turned with him so he was poised above him, Jack's long legs wrapped around his waist. He went in slow, watching Jack's face as he did. All their worries fell away and it was just the two of them, here, with each other. Jack's beautiful face was naked with desire and pleasure and Ennis was quietly elated to be the one to be giving him such a gift.

And then he was all the way inside Jack and they were completely connected. They started moving together, finding their rhythm, perfectly in sync with each other. The pleasure within each of them built into a crescendo, until it filled them with a roaring, like a waterfall. When they crashed over the edge, they went together. The sound of their breathing filled the room and it felt like a sin to break the silence with words, so Ennis slipped to Jack's side and took him in his arms, the silence unbroken as they drifted into sleep together.

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Jack knew he hadn't been asleep long when he woke up. He and Ennis were under the sheets, though he didn't remember pulling it over them. Their legs were twined together and he was still wrapped in Ennis's arms and he felt safe and happy.

Ennis stirred and opened his eyes, looked into Jack's for a long moment. "I love you, Jack."

Jack blinked, as if he hadn't heard right.

"I do. I love you. Wanted to make sure ya know."

"I love you, too, Ennis," Jack said slowly, his throat caught tight. He burrowed closer into Ennis's arms, his cheek against the strong chest.

After a while, they heard the door open downstairs and Ennis looked at the clock. "Damn, we better get up. Bobby'll be home soon and he wanted me t'be here when he gets off the bus." He looked at Jack, a smile in his eyes. "I oughta be up and dressed when he does."

Jack sighed. "I could stay here with you all day, bud."

Ennis kissed him. "Ain't much longer 'til bedtime, darlin'. We'll be back here soon enough. 'Sides, I still wanna take a look around–see the horses, make sure them boys were doing their job while I was gone."

"Well, come on then. Let's go." They dressed and went downstairs. Kelly was in the kitchen, her book bag on the table, her preparations for supper already started. She saw them and went right to Ennis and gave him a hug.

"It's so nice to have you home, Ennis," she said warmly.

"It's nice t'be home, sweetheart. How's school goin'?"

"Good, real good. I like it."

"I'm glad. Well, I'm gonna go out and see t'things."

"I'll come with," Jack said.

"You don't need to," Ennis told him.

"I know that. I want to."

Ennis looked like he might say something about being babied, but he didn't, just turned and pulled his boots on and Jack did the same. He opened the door and started towards the outbuildings, but stopped suddenly and looked up at the barn. The roof was fixed, the ladder put away, the rock in the ground covered with a bale of hay. His face went a little pale and Jack took his hand. "Beau and Tyler finished it."

"Hmph," Ennis replied and looked away. He started for the stables again, where he spent the next hour looking over each and every horse, until they heard the rumble of the school bus. Bobby was halfway down the driveway before they reached the garage.

He spotted them and ran the rest of the way and launched himself into Ennis's arms. "You're home!"

"I told ya I would be."

"I know, but I thought somethin' mighta happened."

"Nope, nothin' happened and here I am."

Jack cleared his throat and Bobby looked at him. "Hi, daddy. Ain't ya glad Ennis is home?"

"It's so nice t'be appreciated," Jack said, laughing and rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I'm glad he's home, Bobby. Come on, let's go inside." He didn't say anything, but Ennis looked a little pale, like maybe he needed to sit down or lay down, and he knew Ennis wouldn't say so.

"Can I go to Danny's house for a while before supper?" Bobby asked.

"You ain't been here five minutes and now you wanna leave again? I thought you couldn't wait fer Ennis t'get home?" Jack asked.

"Well, I couldn't, but he's home now and he ain't leavin', are ya?" Bobby looked at Ennis, who just shook his head. "Danny got a new puppy a few days ago and I ain't seen it yet."

"All right, ya can go fer an hour, but don't be late. It's startin' t'get dark earlier and earlier."

"Thanks, daddy. I won't be late." He started to turn away, but turned back and held out his backpack. "Would you take this in fer me?" He handed it to Jack, then stopped, a thoughtful look on his face. "I was thinkin'. Since I call you 'daddy', maybe I could call Ennis 'dad', so I don't get you confused?" He looked down at the ground, scuffed it with his toe, "If you don't mind, that is," he looked up and met Ennis's eyes.

Ennis sniffed and his eyes were suspiciously bright. "Sounds fine t'me, son, if you want to. Don't want ya t'feel like ya halfta call me anything that don't feel right t'you."

"It feels right fine t'me," Bobby said.

"Then it feels right t'me too."

Bobby started walking backwards. "Bye, daddy. Bye, dad," he said, his face alight, then turned and ran down the driveway, heading for Danny's house.

"If we lose him, it's gonna break my heart," Jack said.

"Mine too," Ennis added and squeezed Jack's hand.

"I hope the girls are okay with him callin' you 'dad'."

"We'll make sure they're okay."

"I hope it don't make them feel like they need t'do the same thing. Ya know, call me 'dad'."

"We'll leave it up t'them and make sure they know it's their choice. They don't live here, though, Jack. It's different with Bobby. He's here all the time."

"I wish the girls could be here all the time," Jack said.

"Me too," Ennis agreed, his voice soft.

"Come on, let's go in. You look like ya could rest fer a bit."

"I ain't no invalid, Jack."

"I know that, but Nancy said ya need t'take it nice an' slow an' easy an' that's what yer gonna do."

"Yes, nurse Twist."

"Fuck you," Jack said, smiling back at Ennis.

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Saturday morning at the farm was quiet. Jack and Ennis did the chores together, with a little help from Bobby, before he disappeared with Danny McIntyre. They'd had lunch and were now seated at the table, which was spread with piles of papers.

"Is Nancy coming with Anna tomorrow?" Ennis asked.

"Yep."

"She usually work on Sundays?"

"I don't think so, but she suggested it. She knows I been busy lately. 'Sides, I invited them both t'supper, which means we'll have t'cook. Good thing she's coming early, so we can work afore we eat. Might kill her with our cookin'."

"Let's barbeque some steaks. Can't screw them up too much. We'll bake some potatoes and throw a salad together. I think I can manage that."

"What d'you mean, you can manage?"

"I figure you'll be busy. Maybe Nancy'll help me."

They were quiet for a while, the silence broken only by the rustling of paper and one or the other taking a drink of coffee.

"Damn," Jack said softly.

"What?"

"I guess I missed this. Goddamn." He shook his head.

"What, Jack?"

"L.D. has our neighbor, Maria, listed as a witness. She useta watch Bobby after school while we was at work. I thought she was our friend." He put the paper down, scrubbed his hands down his face, pushed his chair back, and went out onto the side deck.

Ennis let him be alone for a few minutes, then followed. He stood next to Jack and put his hand out to rub Jack's arm. Jack's face was still as stone, but when Ennis touched him, his lip quivered the tiniest bit. He clamped his jaw together to stop it, his grief replaced by fury.

"This is a goddamn bitch of a fuckin' situation. Goddamn L.D. I hate that fuckin' man so much it makes me sick inside."

"I know, darlin'.

Jack finally turned his eyes to Ennis, the anger gone. They were filled to the brim with unshed tears. "What am I gonna do if the court gives him my son, Ennis? I'll lose 'im forever. L.D.'ll make sure of that." The pain in his voice cut Ennis to the bone.

"Jack." Ennis felt so helpless, felt like this was all his fault. He didn't know what to say. He ran his hand down Jack's face and said the only thing he could think of. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His words unleashed what little control Jack had left and the tears fell. Ennis took him in his arms and held on, held on so tight he thought he might never let go. Jack didn't sob, didn't really cry, just let himself be held and hung on tight. When he finally let go, he didn't meet Ennis's eyes, so Ennis took his hand and lead him to the edge of the deck, sat down on the top step, pulled Jack with him, and put his arm around his shoulders. He kissed Jack's temple and ran his fingers through the silky black hair. Jack put his head down on Ennis's shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, Jack."

"How d'ya know?"

Ennis didn't answer right away, just sighed and looked around, looking for the right words. Finally, he kissed the top of Jack's head and said, "Because. All those years you wanted to make a life together and I wouldn't do it, 'cause I was so scared. But we finally did it and it turned out so much better than I could've ever, _ever_ imagined. I thought we'd get killed, Jack. But I didn't care. I was so miserable that I couldn't go on living like that anymore, so I took a chance, even though I was certain it meant death. But that ain't what happened." There was wonder in his voice. "In fact, we found some good people, real good people, who don't look down on us. Found some people just like us, in fact. I'm still scared sometimes, but I got something in me that I never, ever dared have before. I got hope. _Hope_. And I got hope for lots of things, including that the judge will make the right decision an' make sure Bobby stays with you."

Jack raised his head and looked into Ennis's eyes, but didn't say anything.

Ennis smiled. "Well, this is a first. Me with a mouthful o' words an' you with not a one."

"I don't know where t'start. Yer an amazin' man, Ennis Del Mar. I can't believe you thought we'd be killed. I mean, I know you said that afore, but I didn't think you were so _sure _it would happen. An' ya took a chance anyway. An' now yer so sure 'bout Bobby. I gotta tell ya, I was really startin' t'lose hope."

"I know." Ennis leaned in and kissed him, long and sweet and gentle. "Come on, let's go inside. I'm feelin' a might peaked. Feel like I need t'lay down fer a bit." He stood up and pulled Jack with him. "You wanna join me?"

"I don' know. I should keep going through all this stuff."

"Maybe ya need a break. Just fer a few minutes."

"Yeah, maybe yer right." He followed Ennis into the house and up the stairs into their bedroom. They lay on their bed together, still clothed, and Ennis took Jack in his arms. For the moment, Jack felt safe, felt like he was home. In spite of his good intentions to get up when Ennis fell asleep, he went to sleep first. Ennis held him for a long, long time, before he, too, fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	37. Chapter 35

_**A quick author's note: apparently I forgot to upload this chapter when I first posted in on livejournal. Sorry for that! I'll be posting Chapter 36 right after this one. **_

Chapter Thirty-Five

_September 19, 1976_

The smell of grilling steak wafted on the evening air, making Ennis's mouth water.

"So, how are you feeling?" Nancy asked, from her chair next to him on the deck.

"I'm feelin' pretty good. Get a little tired sometimes."

"Are you taking it easy?"

"Yeah, doctor's orders, right?" He smiled his crooked smile at her.

She smiled back at him. "That's right." She looked out towards the barn, thoughtful and silent for a moment. "Do you remember what happened, Ennis? What made you fall?"

"Well . . . I thought I saw someone out in the trees, saw a flash of somethin'. I didn't recognize 'im, he was too far away, really. I s'pose it was that private detective L.D. hired, snoopin' around and takin' pictures. Anyway, I stood up t'get a better look an' lost my balance. Stupid." Ennis shook his head, stood up, and flipped the steaks over. "These're almost done. Think we can tear those two away from work fer a while?"

"I think so."

Ennis looked over at her, suddenly serious. "Nancy, I'm so glad we got t'be friends. I don't know how we coulda went through me bein' in the hospital without you there t'protect us. Jack, he ain't so careful sometimes." He cleared his throat. "And Anna, she's been amazin' with this whole custody thing. If it weren't fer her, I don't know that we'd woulda been able t'find a lawyer who woulda helped us." He put the steaks on a plate and turned around to find her looking at him with a soft look in her eyes. He flushed and cleared his throat. "Would ya mind openin' the door?" She did and followed him through.

"You guys ready t'take a break?" Ennis asked. "Supper's ready, soon as we get the table set."

Anna and Jack jumped up to help. They moved their paperwork to the smaller kitchen table, so they could eat at the dining room table. Once it was set, Jack called to Bobby, who was in the living room, engrossed in a movie on the Wonderful World of Disney. "Aw, daddy, I'm gonna miss my movie."

"Come on, you can finish watching it after we eat."

Bobby didn't look happy, but he obeyed. "What are you watching, Bobby?" Anna asked.

"The Shaggy Dog. It's about a boy who turns into a dog! Cool, huh?"

"Yeah, that does sound cool."

"Is yer homework done?" Ennis asked.

"Yes, dad. I got it done before I started watching tv."

Jack didn't miss the look that Anna and Nancy exchanged.

"I wish we could get a dog." Bobby looked at Jack, his blue eyes wide and pleading.

"Maybe," Jack replied.

After they finished eating, Jack and Anna went back to the paperwork while Ennis and Nancy cleaned up. They were standing at the sink, Ennis up to his elbows in soapsuds and Nancy with a dishtowel. "Are you going with Jack tomorrow?"

"Yeah, he wants me to." Pause. "Do you think I should be going with him?"

"Oh, Ennis, I can't tell you that. You have to decide that for yourself. I think you know if you should go or not."

"Jack really wants me to."

"Maybe that's your answer."

Ennis turned his head and looked at Jack's head, bent close to Anna's as they talked quietly. They'd tried to keep as much information away from Bobby as possible. "Yeah, maybe."

A few minutes later Bobby came in the kitchen. "What's fer desert?"

"How 'bout some ice cream? I think we got chocolate," Ennis said.

"Sure!"

"All right, then, go back in the living room and I'll bring it to ya."

"Okay. But I want a lot."

"Don't you always?" Ennis smiled at him from the refrigerator where he was getting the ice cream out of the freezer. "Go see if yer daddy an' Anna want some." Nancy got some bowls and spoons for them and helped Ennis dish it up and hand it out. When they'd all finished, Bobby went up to bed and Nancy and Ennis sat down at the table with Jack and Anna.

"We're all done. Now, Jack, I want you to get a good night's sleep. Don't lie awake and worry all night," Anna said.

"Easier said than done," Jack said.

"Try, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll try."

"Thanks for supper," Nancy said as Anna gathered her folders and put them in a box.

"See you tomorrow morning," Anna said.

"G'night, ladies. See ya tomorrow, Anna," Jack said.

"Drive safely," Ennis told them as he held the door for them. He shut it behind them and turned back to Jack. "Come on, let's go to bed."

"I don't know if I can sleep."

"You heard Anna. She said get some sleep."

"I'm too nervous."

"Hmm . . . sounds like ya need somethin' t'take yer mind off yer worries."

"Wha'd'ya have in mind?"

Ennis put his hands on Jack's hips and pulled him close for a searing kiss. "Thought I'd start with some o' that and then, ya know, see where goes from there." He smiled at Jack, his whole face lighting up. Jack looked into those dark honey eyes and felt himself falling.

He put his hands on each side of Ennis's head and drew him back for another hard kiss that spun around them until they were both lost. "Let's go."

* * *

Jack was beginning to hate this conference room. The beige walls, the dull brown carpet, the fake wood table and hard chairs–they were all offensive in their blandness. He looked over at Ennis, seated next to him, dressed in a new, white shirt and dark blue jeans. Jack tried not to think about how good he looked, but found his mind straying back to last night. The sex had started hard and fast, almost like their first time, but later, they'd been sweet and tender with each other and Jack liked it both ways. Ennis met his eyes and, without a word, gave him some calm and comfort. For a moment. 

The door opened and Anna walked in. "Okay, let's go in the courtroom."

"They agree t'anything?"

"Nope, we're going forward with the trial, so let's get started."

Jack sat at the table, Anna next to him, and Ennis behind them. Across the aisle, L.D. and Faye sat with their lawyer. L.D. sneered openly at Jack, but Faye, looking paler than Jack had ever seen her, wouldn't meet his eyes. Randy Jones and Chuck Brown, two guys Jack used to work with at Newsomes, and Janet Oakes, a good friend of Lureen's, were present also. The door opened and Janie slipped in, an apologetic smile on her face, and sat next to Ennis. Another latecomer opened the door and Jack's heart clenched, along with his stomach. Maria, their neighbor, their friend, stepped through. Her eyes met Jack's and he saw them widen and fill with tears. He looked away, confused.

Court was called to order and the judge asked, "Have the parties reached an agreement?"

"No, Your Honor."

"I've received a report from Ms. Peterson, dated September 10, 1976. Any objections to my receiving the report?"

"Yes, sir, we object on the basis that Ms. Peterson is a friend of the respondent and, therefore, not a neutral party."

"Have you read the report, Mr. Lawson?"

"Yes, sir."

"Is there anything in the report that you specifically object to?"

"No, just the report in its entirety."

"Your objection is noted and overruled. The report is accepted."

"Are we ready to proceed?" The judge looked at them over his glasses.

"Yes, sir."

"Mr. Lawson, call your first witness."

"Yes, Your Honor. We call Mr. Randy Jones."

"Mr. Jones, please come forward and be sworn in." Randy Jones, a small, dark-haired man, stood up and walked forward to stand in front of the Judge. "Raise your right hand." Randy did. "Do you swear the testimony you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"Yes, sir."

"Take a seat in the witness stand."

Randy sat down and looked at Jack, a sneer on his thick lips.

"Please state your full name," Rick said.

"Randall Lawrence Jones."

"Mr. Jones, you are currently employed at Newsome Farm Equipment?"

"Yes."

"How long have you worked there?"

"About six months."

"And you worked there with a Mr. Jack Twist?"

"Yep."

"And Mr. Twist, do you recognize him here in the courtroom?"

"Sure do," he pointed at Jack, "that's him right there."

"Please note that Mr. Jones pointed at Jack Twist. Mr. Jones, how long did you work with Mr. Twist?"

"Well, only about a month. He left right after I started."

"Did you know him prior to working with him?"

"Not personally, but heard o' him." He directed another oily smile at Jack. "I heard what kinda boy he is."

"Objection," Anna said.

Judge Lundeen held up his hand towards Anna and looked back at Randy. "Mr. Jones, please keep your comments to the questions asked."

Randy glanced at the Judge and said, "Yes, sir."

Rick went on. "Mr. Jones, when you worked with Mr. Twist, did you ever see him with his son?"

"Sure."

"And what did you observe?"

"He left him in the truck while he went in to work."

"Did you think this was appropriate?"

"No, sir."

"Did you ever see Bobby with any other family members?"

"Yep, Lureen brought him to work one day for a couple hours. He was a nice kid. Spent a lot of time with his grandad that day."

"Do you think Bobby had a good relationship with his grandad? I assume you're talking about Mr. Newsome, who is present in court today?"

"Yeah, I thought they had a real good relationship. Bobby followed his grandad around the store that day." Randy glanced at Jack, who was whispering something to Anna.

"And who do you think would provide a better home for Bobby?"

"L.D., of course."

"Thank you, Mr. Jones, no further questions."

Randy started to rise. "Wait a moment, Mr. Jones, please stay seated. Ms. Grant, do you have any questions for Mr. Jones?"

"Yes, thank you, Your Honor. Mr. Jones, how long did you work with Mr. Twist at Newsomes?"

"About a month."

"Would two weeks be a little more accurate?"

"I don't know, I guess so. Thought it was a little longer."

"On the occasion when you say you saw Mr. Twist with his son, do you recall the circumstances?"

"Just that he stopped at the store and left Bobby in the car while he came in to work."

"Did he work the whole day?"

"No, I don't think so."

"If I said that Mr. Twist stopped by to talk to Mrs. Twist for approximately ten minutes, does that sound accurate to you?"

Randy's face got a closed, tight look on it. "I don't remember."

"And do you remember that Mr. Twist left Bobby in the car because he was sick?"

"No, I don't remember."

"Do you remember that Mr. Twist took that day off work because his son was sick? He took him to the clinic and stopped by the store afterwards to tell Mrs. Twist what the doctor said and left him in the car because he was asleep. Do you recall that day a little more clearly?"

"No, I thought he came in to work that day. Guess I didn't remember how long he was there. Thought it was longer."

"Okay, well, Mr. Jones, the day Mrs. Twist brought Bobby to work with her, you said he followed his grandad around that day. Was it the whole day?"

"Well, I guess not. He spent time with his mama, too."

"Did you hear Mr. Newsome raise his voice to Bobby?"

Randy hesitated and looked down at his hands. "No, ma'am."

"So if I told you that Mr. Newsome yelled at Bobby, causing him to run to his mama in tears, that would be incorrect, to your knowledge?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Anna nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Thank you, no further questions."

"Mr. Lawson, any more questions?"

"Yes, Mr. Jones, the day Bobby was at work with Mrs. Twist, did you see Bobby talking and laughing with his grandad?"

"Yes, I thought it was real nice."

"Thank you, nothing further."

"Ms. Grant?"

"No questions."

"Thank you, Mr. Jones, you may step down."

Rick stood up. "I'd like to call Mr. Charles Brown."

Chuck stood up and was sworn in and gave his name, said he'd worked at Newsomes for about five years.

"Mr. Brown, you've worked for Mr. Newsome for five years. So you worked with Mr. Twist for a few years, too, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir. I worked with Jack about four and a half years."

"What did you do at Newsomes?"

"I was a salesman, same as Jack."

"Did you ever observe Mr. Twist with his son?"

"Sure, sometimes he brought him with when he stopped at the store. We had a few company picnics. The whole family came to them."

"What did you think of Mr. Twist, as a dad?"

"Well, he let Lureen do it all. He didn't pay no attention to that boy at all."

"So, at the picnics, Bobby stayed with his mama. Where was Mr. Twist?"

"Drinkin' beer and shootin' the sh–I mean, talkin' with the guys."

"Leaving Mrs. Twist to take care of their son."

"Yes."

"Did you ever see Mr. Newsome with his grandson?"

"Oh yeah, they, he and Mrs. Newsome, were always at the picnics."

"And how did they act with him?"

"You know, like grandparents. Always talking about how proud they were, showin' him off."

"Did they ever do anything that made you think they weren't good grandparents."

"Nope, sure didn't."

"You worked with Mr. Twist?"

"Yeah."

"What was he like, as a co-worker?"

"Well, he was usually pretty quiet. Kept t'himself mostly. He was good at selling combines."

"So, he was a good worker? Just not very friendly?"

"Sure."

Ennis's eyes narrowed. Had this guy really worked with Jack, who was friendly and talked up a storm most of the time? He found it hard to believe.

"You worked with Mrs. Twist, also?"

"Yeah, she worked in the office."

"Did she ever talk about their marriage?"

"Not really. Heard her complain about Jack being gone sometimes. Real inconvenient sometimes."

"Do you know where Mr. Twist had gone?"

"Nope. Lureen said he was off on a fishin' trip a few times. Guess he was off with his faggot friend."

"Your Honor, I object, the witness is speculating."

"Sustained." Judge Lundeen turned to Chuck. "Please keep your comments to information you have first-hand knowledge of and refrain from using foul language in my courtroom." Chuck frowned and didn't say anything.

"Mr. Brown, did Mr. Twist ever approach you in a way that made you uncomfortable?"

"What d'ya mean?"

"In a sexual way?"

"No, but I could tell there was somethin' funny about him."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I just knew he wasn't, ya know, there was somethin' wrong with him. Caught him lookin' at me weird one day. Just starin'."

"And it made you uncomfortable?"

"Hell, yeah."

"No further questions."

Anna paged through her notes she'd taken of his testimony. "Mr. Brown, how many of these company picnics did you attend?"

"Uh, a few I guess."

"Might the answer be closer to one?"

"I'm sure I was at more than that. At least two."

"So, two company picnics in five years. And you say Mr. Twist left Bobby's care to Mrs. Twist?"

"Yeah."

"These picnics, were they held at a park with a playground?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Would it be accurate to say that the kids were all playing together, not hanging around their mothers or fathers?"

"Well, I guess so."

"So the fact that Mr. Twist was talking to the guys wasn't unusual for any of the fathers there?"

"No, I guess not."

"This picnic you were at, do you remember Bobby falling and skinning his knee?"

Chuck looked over her head, thinking, before answering. "Sure. Yeah."

"Do you remember who went to him and took him to clean the knee? Who bandaged it?"

A stony look came over Chuck's face. "No, I don't."

"So, if I said it was, in fact, Mr. Twist who took care of his son, while Mrs. Twist continued to talk with a group of ladies, you don't remember that?"

His face turned red. "No, I don't."

"All right, let's move on. You say that Mr. Twist was staring at you one day, made you uncomfortable. Did you talk to him about it?"

"No, why would I?"

"I'm asking the questions, Mr. Brown. Could it have been that Mr. Twist was merely staring into space, daydreaming, like most of us do, and you just happened to be in his line of sight?"

"I don't know."

"Did you ever see Mr. Twist do anything you thought was inappropriate, with another co-worker?"

"I guess not," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, could you speak up?"

"I said, I guess not."

"Thank you, Mr. Brown. No more questions."

Judge Lundeen looked at Rick, who just shook his head. "You may step down, Mr. Brown. Call your next witness, Mr. Lawson."

"I'd like to call Ms. Janet Oakes."

Janet walked forward, was sworn in, and took the witness stand.

"Ms. Oakes, you were a good friend of Mrs. Twist?"

Janet smiled wide, her lips full and red. "Yes, sir, Lureen and I were friends way back in high school. Been friends all these years."

"So you knew her pretty well?"

"I think so."

"Did you ever talk to Lureen about her marriage?"

"Sure, she wasn't real happy. Said things weren't very excitin', ya know, in the bedroom." She flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder and gave Judge Lundeen a secretive smile.

Rick cleared his throat. "And did you ever talk to her about Bobby, her son?"

"Sure."

"Did you talk about who she would want to raise her if anything ever happened to her?"

"She told me she'd want her parents to raise Bobby."

"Do you think she was being honest with you?"

"Of course she was. Lureen spoke her mind, yes she did."

"Thank you, no more questions."

Anna looked at Janet thoughtfully, then asked, "Ms. Oakes, can you recall the circumstances when Lureen told you she wanted her parents to raise her son?"

"What d'ya mean?"

"What was happening in her life?"

"Well, I guess it was one o' those times Jack was gone fer a week. Bobby was cranky, teethin' or somethin' and she was frustrated."

"Oh, so she was frustrated when she said it?"

"That's what I said, ain't it?"

"Thank you, Ms. Oakes, that's all."

"Cross?" Judge Lundeen asked Rick, who shook his head. "Call the next one, then."

"We call Ms. Maria Calgaro."

Maria stood up and walked forward. Jack could've sworn she winked at him as she went by, but couldn't be sure. She was solemn when she was sworn in and repeated her name.

"Ms. Calgaro, you were Mr. and Mrs. Twists neighbor and friend?"

"Yes, sir."

"You also watched Bobby after school, until Mr. and Mrs. Twist got home from work?"

"Yes, I did."

"Who usually picked up Bobby?"

"Mr. Twist."

Jack was watching Rick's face and he could tell that the answer surprised him. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," Maria replied, smiling.

"How did Bobby react when his dad picked him up? Did he resist going with him?"

"Sometimes, yes, when he was in the middle of a game or playing with the other children. Other times, he was very happy to see his daddy."

"Ms. Calgaro, did you tell Mr. Newsome that you were worried about Mr. Twist raising his son all alone?"

"Yes, I did."

"Why did you say that? What were you worried about?"

"I was worried about Bobby growing up without his mama, just as I would worry about any child who lost a parent."

"Were you worried about Mr. Twist, specifically, taking care of Bobby?"

Maria laughed and replied, "Of course not. Why would I worry about that when I felt like he was an exceptional daddy?"

Rick turned and glared at L.D., whose face was turning bright red. Rick turned back, a sick smile on his face. "No more questions."

"Ms. Calgaro, how many years have you known Mr. Twist?" Anna asked.

"Let's see . . . about eight. We moved in about eight years ago and they were already in their house. Lureen and Jack came over right away, introduced themselves and Bobby right away. I started babysitting him during the day, while they were at work, and when he started kindergarten, I watched him after school, along with other children in the neighborhood."

"You said it was usually Mr. Twist who picked Bobby up?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Did you ever see Mr. Twist do anything that gave you cause for concern? Anything at all?"

"No, ma'am. Jack was a real good daddy."

"And Mr. Lawson said you told Mr. Newsome that you were concerned about Mr. Twist caring for Bobby after his mother died? Could you explain what you meant?"

"Well, I did say that, but I guess he didn't understand what I meant. I was just worried about Bobby's mama being gone and Jack having to raise him all alone. A child should have two parents, shouldn't have to mourn after one at such a young age. Lureen was my friend and I'm so sad that she's gone."

"You've known Bobby almost since he was born?" Maria nodded. "Tell me, what do you think is the best thing for him?"

"I think it's best he stay with his daddy."

"Thank you, Mrs. Calgaro, no more questions."

"Mr. Lawson?"

"No questions."

"Fine. Let's take a fifteen minute recess."

Jack stood up as Maria left the witness stand. She walked to him and he reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"Jack, you're a good daddy. I think Bobby should be with you. How're you doing?"

"I'll be better once this is all over and done with. Are you gonna be in town long?"

"'Til tomorrow."

"Why don't you come over fer supper tonight? You can see Bobby and we can catch up."

"I'd love to."

"Where are you stayin'?"

"At the Holiday Inn in Goosedown."

"I'll pick ya up at six then."

"Okay." She hugged him again, then turned to Anna. "Can I go or do I have to stay?"

"Well, technically you're Rick's witness, you'll have to ask him."

Maria went out the courtroom door and Jack turned to Anna. "What the hell was that?"

She laughed. "That's what you get when you don't question your witness very well before you put them on the stand. Rick probably just took L.D.'s word that Maria would say what they wanted. Come on, let's go to the courthouse café and get a cup of coffee."

Court was called back to order and Rick called his next witness, Faye Newsome. She was sworn in and questioned about her relationship with Lureen, Jack, and Bobby.

"What do you think is best for your grandson?" Rick asked.

"To be with me and his grandad, of course," Faye replied, in a quiet voice.

Rick turned her over to Anna, who started with, "Mrs. Newsome, you didn't make an appearance last week when we were here for the pre-trial. Mr. Lawson said you had a medical issue. What was it?"

"Well, I . . . I was in the hospital. I wasn't feeling good."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Newsome, but could you please be more specific?"

"No, not really."

"Your Honor . . ." Anna looked to the judge.

"Ms. Newsome, please answer the question."

"Objection," Rick broke in.

"On what grounds?" Judge Lundeen asked.

"Relevancy."

"Mr. and Mrs. Newsome are asking for custody to be awarded to them. I want to know if they have any health issues that we might be dealing with."

"Objection overruled. Go ahead and answer, Mrs. Newsome."

Her eyes teared up and she looked at her husband. "I was in the hospital. I miss my daughter."

Anna looked at Jack, her mind working. "Mrs. Newsome, were you hospitalized because you miss your daughter?"

"Yes," she said, low.

"Because you were depressed about Lureen being gone?"

"I miss her so much."

"So, you were hospitalized with depression because you miss your daughter?" Faye just nodded. "Will you be able to take proper care of your grandson, if he's put in your custody?"

"Of course I will! I'll take care of him just like he was my own."

The questions to Faye went on, until both sides were satisfied. After she stepped down, the judge excused them for lunch.

They came back at one o'clock and there was another man, someone Jack didn't recognize, in the courtroom. Court was called to order and Rick called John Crater to the stand. That answered the question of who it was–L.D.'s private detective. He stated his name and profession for the record.

"I'd like to introduce exhibits one through twenty."

"Any objections?" Judge Lundeen asked. Anna shook her head.

Rick handed the pictures to John. "Mr. Crater, do you recognize these pictures?"

"Yes, sir."

"What are they?"

"Pictures I took while in the hire of Mr. Newsome."

"Can you tell me what the pictures are of?"

"Mostly Mr. Twist kissing another man."

"Is that other man present here in the courtroom today?"

"Yes, he is, he's seated right there behind Mr. Twist." He pointed at Ennis.

Jack turned slightly and glanced at Ennis. Ennis looked like his jaw was about to break, it was clenched so tight. Jack's mind went back a few days, when he'd shown Ennis the photos.

_Ennis looked at each one before he looked up and met Jack's eyes. "Well, we never had our picture taken together before. This is a hell of a way to get it done. I always thought it's be in one o' them big, fancy photography studios, ya know, the kind where they put make-up on ya an' make ya tilt yer head just so." He stood up and flung the pile of photos on the table._

"_You okay?" Jack asked._

"_I'm just fuckin' fantastic, Jack. What do you think?" He stopped near the window. After a few minutes, Jack went to him, put his hand out and touched his ear, caressed his cheek with the back of his hand._

"_I'm sorry, Ennis. Sorry I brought this on us."_

"_Jack, you didn't do this." He was silent a moment before asking, "Was Lureen like him?"_

"_No. Well, she had his business sense, but she had a good heart, deep down. I liked her fire. I think part of the reason she married me was because her daddy definitely didn't approve. By the time we realized the mistake we were makin', it was too late–she was pregnant. We made better friends than husband and wife."_

_Ennis finally turned and met his eyes, a flicker of amusement deep in the dark brown depths. "Ya know, if those pictures didn't have anything t'do with L.D., there's a couple I like–just fer the two of us."_

_Jack knew what he was talking about. A couple of the pictures perfectly captured the love for each other in their faces, the times when the masks fell away and it was just the two of them–lost in each other. _Jack's attention snapped back to the present.

"Mr. Crater, you took these pictures yourself?"

"Yes."

"Did you change them in any way?"

"No, I didn't."

"Thank you. Your witness," he said, turning to Anna.

"No questions." Jack looked at her sharply and she shrugged.

"You may step down, Mr. Crater."

Rick finally called L.D. to the stand. He put his hands on the table to help himself up, his girth giving him a waddle-walk on his way to the stand. He raised his right hand and swore to tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth. He testified to being the most wonderful man in Texas, or so it sounded to Jack. He told them all that Jack was a poor employee, a terrible husband, a lecherous homosexual, and a pitiful father. Jack started to slide down in his chair, withering under the spray of L.D.'s words. He had to give him credit, somewhere along the line he'd reigned in his hate-spewing and sounded the part he was trying to play–the loving grandfather to a poor little boy. Jack sank a little further, then felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He turned slightly, but the hand was already gone, a familiar scent the only reminder of its presence. He sat back up and berated himself for letting L.D. make him feel any bit of doubt about his ability as a father or a man.

When it was Anna's turn to question L.D., she asked, "Mr. Newsome, if Bobby were placed in your custody, what would you do to assure that he'd have contact with his father?"

"Well, he could see him whenever he wanted. 'Course, he'd have to come to Texas to see him. We wouldn't want him here, around him and his, the man he lives with."

"So, you'd never let Bobby come to Minnesota to spend time with his daddy?"

"Nope."

"Have you ever seen Bobby with Mr. Del Mar?"

"No, of course not."

"Are you aware that Bobby calls Mr. Del Mar 'dad'?"

L.D. snorted. "That ain't true. My grandson would never be that stupid."

"Oh, I assure you, it's true. I've heard him with my own ears. How does that make you feel?"

"It ain't true, I said."

Anna sighed. "Okay, let's move on. Did you ever talk to your daughter about who should raise her son if something happened to her?"

"No, I didn't have to. I knew my daughter. I knew what she'd want."

"So, you don't think she'd want Bobby's daddy to raise him?"

"No, course she wouldn't want that goddamn faggot to raise her son."

Judge Lundeen, who had settled into a post-lunch malaise and looked like he'd been half-asleep to this point, raised his head and looked at L.D. "Mr. Newsome, might I remind you that I don't tolerate that kind of talk in my courtroom?"

L.D. glared at him and narrowed his eyes.

"No more questions," Anna said.

Rick rested his case and Anna called her first witness, Janie Peterson. Janie took the stand and Anna handed her a copy of the report she'd submitted and it was admitted as exhibit twenty-one. Anna asked her questions about the report, the times she'd spent at the farm, and her talks with Bobby.

"So, your recommendation is that Bobby remain in the care of his father? Do you think that's in his best interest?"

"Yes, I do. Bobby loves his dad very much and they seem to have a very close relationship. I've never seen Jack do anything inappropriate with his son."

"Now, you know that the court has been made aware that Mr. Twist lives with another man, Mr. Del Mar?"

"Yes."

"Did you take that into consideration when you made your recommendation?"

"Yes, I did. I've been around Bobby with Mr. Twist and Mr. Del Mar and I think they have a good relationship and will be able to raise Bobby with the love and guidance a child needs."

"Have you talked to Bobby?"

"Yes, on several occasions."

"Has he ever said anything to you about where he wants to live?"

"Yes, Bobby has told me that he loves living with his daddy and he wants to stay with him."

"Did he talk about his grandparents?"

"The Newsomes?" Anna nodded. "Yes, he has said he'd like to be able to see them and spend time with them. He also said he'd like to spend more time with his other grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Twist, who live in Wyoming."

When it was Rick's turn to cross examine her, he was surprisingly brief and focused mainly on her youth and the few years of experience she had and then she was excused.

"Next, I'd like to call Mr. Jack Twist to the stand," Anna said.

Jack stood up and walked forward, raised his hand, and swore to tell the truth. He took a seat and a deep breath.

"Mr. Twist, you are Bobby's father?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"How do you feel about your son?"

"I love him with all my heart."

"Has he lived with you since his mama died?"

"Yeah. He lived with me before that, too."

"Of course, of course. Mr. Twist, you heard some testimony this morning that you brought Bobby to work one day and left him in the truck. Do you remember that day?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"What happened?"

"Well, Bobby was real sick. He was burnin' up with a fever. Lureen went to work an' I took Bobby t'the doctor. Afterwards, I stopped at the store fer a few minutes an' went in t'tell his mama what the doctor said. It was just a flu bug. Gave him some medicine an' told me t'take 'im home and put 'im t'bed an' watch his fever. Said t'put him in a cool bath if he got too hot. I was at the store 'bout ten minutes, then I took Bobby home an' stayed there with him fer three days while he was gettin' better."

"You also heard some testimony about company picnics. Did you attend some of those?"

"Course I did."

"Do you remember Mr. Brown being at any of those picnics?"

"Just one."

"Do you remember an incident involving Bobby?"

"Yep, he fell and skinned his knee but good. Lureen was chattin' with the ladies and didn't see him right away, so I picked him up and cleaned it, put a coupla band-aids on it and he was good as new." Jack smiled at the memory.

"Do you think you're a good dad, Mr. Twist?"

"Well, I ain't perfect, I know that. But, yeah, I think I am. I love my son, I'd do anything for him. I love him with all my heart." Jack sniffed and sat up straighter in the chair.

"Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Newsome should be allowed to have contact with Bobby?"

"Of course I do. They're his grandparents. Every kid needs grandparents. I'm willing t'let Bobby go spend time with them, in the summer, maybe during school breaks. And they can visit him anytime they want if they come here."

"Now, Mr. Twist, it seems that one of the Newsomes concerns is your relationship with Mr. Del Mar. What is your relationship?"

Jack hesitated. He'd talked long and hard about this with Anna and not much with Ennis. She reasoned that the judge already knew, or that it would surely come up, and it would be better to be straightforward about it than to try and hide it. He expected her to ask, but it was still disconcerting to answer. "He . . . he's my partner."

"He's your partner? At the farm?"

"Yes. And, well, in my life."

"Your life?"

"Yes. I . . ." he looked down and hesitated again before he looked up and met Ennis's eyes. "I love him."

"Do you think he's a good person to have around Bobby?"

Jack's eyes snapped back to Anna's, irritation in their blue depths. "Of course. I wouldn't have Bobby around him if he wasn't."

"Now, Mr. Del Mar has two daughters, doesn't he?"

"Yes."

"What are their names and ages?"

"Well, Alma Junior is eleven, almost twelve, and Francine is nine."

"Have the girls spent time at the farm with you and Bobby and Ennis?"

"Yes, ma'am. They spent one week in June and two weeks in August."

"Their mother, Mr. Del Mar's ex-wife, did she know you lived at the farm with Ennis?"

"Yes, I've talked to her on the phone."

"Yet she still allowed the girls to come and stay with you and Mr. Del Mar?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"How do Bobby and the girls get along?"

Jack smiled before answering. "Well, Bobby and Franny, Francine, I mean, are about the same age and they get along real well. Alma Junior and Bobby get along, too, but they ain't got much in common."

"Does Bobby have friends in the community?"

"Yes."

"He goes to school here, in Goosedown? Any problems?"

"Yes, he does, and he hasn't had any trouble."

Anna changed direction. "Jack, are you financially able to take care of Bobby?"

"Yeah. The farm makes real good money. Ain't got no worries there." Anna picked up some paperwork from the table and handed it to Jack.

"Mr. Twist, do you recognize these?"

"Sure, they're the financials fer the farm fer the last three months."

"I'd like to submit these as exhibit twenty-two."

"Objections?" asked Judge Lundeen. "None noted, please mark the exhibit."

"Mr. Twist, what do you think is in your son's best interest?"

Tears sprang unexpectedly to Jack's eyes. He blinked and wiped them, cleared his throat, and said, "To be with me, his daddy, where his mama would've wanted him."

"Thank you. Mr. Lawson, your witness."

Rick nodded at her. "Mr. Twist, do you honestly think it's best for a child to grow up in a home like yours? With two dads?" The last three words came out with a mixture of such disgust and disdain that Jack wasn't sure he heard right.

"Yeah, I do. When it's two dads that love him and want only the best fer him."

"Do you really think Lureen would want that?"

"I know Lureen would want him with me."

"How do you know what Lureen would want? You obviously didn't love her. You moved right in with your male lover after she died."

Jack's jaw clenched and he said quietly, "I did love her, in my own way. I knew her and I know what she woulda wanted." He would've gone on, but a low cry interrupted him.

"Stop it! Stop talking about her!" Faye Newsome had her hands over her eyes and was crying softly. "My baby girl, she's gone, she's gone and she ain't coming back. Stop talking about her."

"Faye, fer god's sake, knock it off!" L.D. tried to quiet her, put his arm around her back. She reacted as if burned, flinched away from him arm and turned to hiss at him, "Stop it! It's your fault! It's all your fault! You drove her away! You drove her to him! Ah . . ." her cries died to a low wail. L.D. grabbed her by the shoulders and started to shake her. Jack watched as her body became limp as Bobby's old stuffed pony. She started to cry in L.D.'s arms.

Judge Lundeen called a recess, but didn't leave the bench. He called the attorneys to him. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes, I think so. If we could just take a few minutes for her to get some fresh air?" Rick smiled, but there was tension in it.

"Certainly, take a twenty minute recess. Have the bailiff notify me if it turns more serious."

"Yes, sir, thank you."

"You can step down, Jack," Anna told him. He watched L.D. and Rick lead Faye out of the courtroom. She was so pale and looked so sad. He realized how difficult these past months must have been for her. He wanted to go out and help her, but knew it would probably only make things worse.

Anna sighed, "Come on, boys, there's a soda machine on the first floor. I could use something cold to drink." They followed her out the door and as they left, Jack felt a light touch on his back. Those light touches gave him more strength today than he could ever imagine they would.

Anna got herself a root beer and Jack and Ennis shared a Pepsi. Anna took a long drink and said, "I hate to say this, Jack, but this may work in our favor. It doesn't seem to me that Faye is in any condition to take care of a child."

"I really don't want to hurt her," Jack said, his fingers brushing Ennis's as he took the bottle of Pepsi back for a drink.

"I know. I could re-call her and break her down, but I won't. Come on, let's get back."

They entered the courtroom and saw Faye seated next to L.D., same as before, but there was a void look in her eyes. Jack took his place back on the witness stand and Rick resumed his questioning. "Now, Mr. Twist, before the recess you said you loved Lureen, yet, as soon as she died you moved in with Mr. Del Mar. Would you please explain that?"

"Me an' Lureen were more friends than husband and wife. I've been in love with Ennis since 1963. We never gave ourselves the chance to be together before this spring. We were gonna try an' make it work. I told Lureen that, but then she got in the accident." He paused for a moment. "She was my best friend, after Ennis." Jack brushed his eyes. He missed Lureen in that moment more than he ever had before. His eyes met Faye's and gentle empathy passed between them.

"Your relationship with Mr. Del Mar . . . you love him? So, it's a romantic relationship?"

"Yes."

"Is it a sexual relationship?"

Jack flushed and his eyes went to Ennis's, was not surprised to find him still as a stone. "Yes."

"So, what does this sexual relationship consist of? What do you do, you know, in bed?"

Anna stood up. "Your Honor! Objection. Relevance."

"What's your point, Mr. Lawson?"

"May I rephrase the question?"

"Let's hear it, but I'm sustaining the objection if you don't show some relevance."

Rick turned back to Jack. "Do you and Mr. Del Mar engage in sodomy? Which, as you know, is an illegal act in the state of Minnesota."

Anna had warned him that this question might come up. He looked at Ennis, a silent apology in his eyes, and he lied. "No, sir."

"So, if I put Mr. Del Mar on the stand and ask him the same thing, he'd agree with you?"

"Yes."

"You do understand you're under oath?"

"O' course."

Anna stood up again. "Your Honor, I fail to see the relevancy of this line of questioning. Again, I object on the grounds that it isn't relevant."

"Mr. Lawson, please explain where you're headed."

"He's admitted to a sexual relationship with a man. We all know what that means–sodomy, which is against the law in this state. My clients do not feel it is in their grandson's best interest to be raised in a household that promotes an illegal, not to mention immoral, activity."

"Fine, objection overruled, but he's answered the question. Move on, Mr. Lawson."

Rick frowned and paged through his notes. Finally, he looked up and said, "No more questions."

"Ms. Grant, any questions?"

"Yes, thank you. Jack, you admit to having a romantic relationship with Mr. Del Mar. Do you ever do anything in front of Bobby? Anything that might be considered inappropriate?"

Jack shook his head. "No, we're real careful. I won't deny he's probably seen a kiss or hug, but we don't sit around neckin' in front of him."

"But do you think you have a loving home?"

"Of course. Bobby knows he's loved. He probably knows me an' Ennis love each other. And the girls, too. They're a part of the family, even when they ain't here."

"Thank you, no more questions."

The judge looked to Rick, who just shook his head. "You may step down, Mr. Twist."

"Call your next witness, Ms. Grant."

"We rest, Your Honor."

"Any rebuttal witnesses? No? All right, how do you want to proceed with final arguments? Written or oral?"

"I'd prefer to do written arguments, if Mr. Lawson agrees?"

"Fine with me."

"Have them to me in two weeks time. In the meantime, my previous order remains in place. Bobby will remain with his father in Minnesota. Visitation with his grandparents is at Mr. Twist's discretion. If there's nothing further, this hearing is adjourned." Judge Lundeen stood and left the courtroom.

The attorneys began gathering their paperwork and L.D. asked, "Well, what does that mean? He's not going to make a decision today?"

"We have to submit our final arguments and then the judge has up to ninety days to make a decision."

"Ninety days?" L.D. asked.

Rick sighed. "L.D., we talked about this. I told you he'd have that much time after the hearing. Why don't you take Faye back to the hotel and let her rest. She looks worn out."

Jack cleared his throat and stood up. "L.D, Faye, I was wondering when your plane leaves? I could bring Bobby over tomorrow if you ain't leaving too early." He could see that L.D. wanted to refuse, but couldn't. He didn't miss the sudden light in Faye's eyes, either.

"Ain't he got school tomorrow?" L.D. asked.

"Yeah, but I know he'd want to spend a day with you instead. I'll bring him by in the morning and you can let me know what time to pick him up."

Faye stepped in front of L.D. and grasped Jack's hand. "Thank you, Jack."

"Yer welcome."

Rick, L.D., and Faye filed out of the courtroom. Jack turned back to Anna. "I know you said somethin' about the judge having time t'make a decision, but I fergot about it, too."

"Try to think positive," Anna replied. "He'll go over all the evidence and make an informed decision. Judge Lundeen is usually pretty fast–he rarely takes a full ninety days. You guys should go home. It's been a long, hard day."

Jack followed Ennis out to the truck and got in the passenger side. "We have t'pick Maria up. It's almost six. Why don't we just swing by there on our way home?"

"Okay." Ennis started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot. He started towards the Holiday Inn, but pulled over and stopped a few blocks before they got to it. Jack looked at him, curiosity clear in his eyes.

"Jack, before we pick up Maria, I just wanted t'say somethin' to ya." His eyes dropped and he picked up Jack's hand where it rested on the seat and sandwiched between his own. "I'm so proud of ya, darlin'. So proud."

"Ennis, I'm sorry I had t'lie."

"Don't be. I woulda done the same thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. That's a stupid law anyway. What business is it t'the government what we do in the privacy of our own bedroom?"

Jack took a deep breath. "I'm glad it's over. Wish we knew what was gonna happen, but at least the hard part's over."

"Yeah," Ennis agreed, although he had an inkling that the waiting might be the hardest part. He let go of Jack's hand and started the truck again. He smiled at Jack then, a rare, full, just-for-Jack smile. "Let's pick Maria up. I wanna get home and see that boy of ours."


	38. Chapter 36

**_And so the story comes to an end. . ._**

I wanted to start with a short author's note to send out a HUGE thank you to everyone who took this journey with me. I was terrified when I posted the the prologue, but the terror faded when I received such a warm reception from you all. I can't possibly thank everyone who has commented, cajoled, and encouraged, but I do want you to know that I read all the responses and took them to heart. I learned so much from this experience.

I found Brokeback Mountain in December and it broke my heart, tore me apart, and, in some ways, saved me. I have been right beside Ennis on his journey to self-discovery. I have to be honest, though, in that it wasn't Jack's death that tore me up and devasted me the most--it was Ennis's loneliness and aloneness. These are the two reasons I wanted to write _Divergent Dreams_--to see what would happen if Ennis came face to face with his sexuality and because I wanted him to not be alone anymore--I just couldn't bear his loneliness anymore. Okay, I really didn't want Jack to die, either. ;)

So, thank you all, so much. If you've missed the announcement, this is the end of this 'chapter', but another will be beginning soon. There are some subtle clues in this chapter to what you can expect in the sequel. And since I'm really bad at coming up with titles, the sequel is named _Minnesota Dreams_. Simple and yet, maybe it will help you remember which ranch fic it is :)  


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Chapter Thirty-Six

_September 20, 1976_

"Maria!" Bobby's cry rang out as he ran to her and launched himself into her arms.

"Bobby! Oh my goodness, let me look at you." She stood back, her hands on his shoulders, and her dark eyes filled with tears. "You've gotten so big." She looked up at Jack, repeated, "He's gotten so big."

Jack, his own eyes suspiciously misty, just nodded, then said, "Hey, Bob, why don't we give Maria a tour–show her around." Jack lead the way through the living room while Ennis stayed in the kitchen to take over supper preparations from Kelly.

"Thanks for staying all day today Kelly."

"How'd it go, Ennis?"

"It was . . . a hard day. But Jack did a real good job."

"What happened? Did the judge make a decision? Did he say Bobby could stay with Jack?"

"Nope, he's got some time t'decide. We might not know fer a couple months."

"That long?" Her dark eyes widened. "What's going to happen in the meantime?"

"Judge said Bobby can stay here for now."

"Oh." She opened the oven and slid in a pan of garlic bread to warm. "Who's Maria?"

"A friend of Jack's. She was him and Lureen's neighbor down in Texas and she useta babysit Bobby, too. L.D. brought her in as a witness, but it sure backfired." He grinned. "She said Jack was a great daddy and wasn't no reason he shouldn't keep his son."

"Oh, I knew I liked her right away," Kelly said, a warm smile on her own lips as she cut up tomatoes for the salad. "I might as well stay and help you finish this, if you want?" she offered.

"Sure, I'll take all the help I can get. You know I ain't much good in the kitchen."

"I think you're getting better. In no time at all, you guys won't even need my help."

"That ain't true. I may be gettin' better at cookin', but there ain't nothin' that's gonna make me better at cleanin' an' doin' laundry. Least I'd never admit it, 'cause then I'd halfta do it myself." He winked at her. "So, how's school goin'?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, Ennis, I'm so glad I started. I love it. It's different than being in high school. I couldn't wait to get out of there, but college is so much more interesting and I feel like I'm really learning a lot."

He looked at her from under his eyelashes. "How's Dwayne? You still talk t'him?"

Kelly smiled. She knew it was his own way of looking out for her. "He's good and yes, we still talk. I'm going to visit him next weekend." She washed and dried her hands and began setting the table. Ennis brought over the salad and the basket of garlic bread.

"Well, everything's ready," she said. "Think you guys will be eating soon?" Ennis nodded. "I'll take the lasagna out of the oven now, then, so it can cool for a few minutes."

Jack, Bobby, and Maria came in just as she was leaving and they said good-bye, then sat down at the table to eat. Bobby kept up a steady stream of conversation, telling Maria everything that had happened since he'd last seen her.

When they finished, Maria insisted on helping clean up. Afterwards, they took her outside to show her around the farm. Bobby lead her from horse to horse, while Jack and Ennis stood back, each secretly amazed at how much information Bobby had retained about the farm and the horses and was relaying to her. Maria occasionally glanced back at the two men, a bemused expression on her face and, at times, with questions in her eyes. At nine o'clock Jack reminded Bobby that he was visiting his grandparents the next day and he needed to take a bath and get to bed. Bobby gave Maria a hug and said goodnight. Ennis also said goodnight to her and followed Bobby in the house.

Jack opened the door of the truck for Maria and went around to the drivers seat.

"Wow, I can't believe how much he's grown since I last saw him."

"I know. Time seems t'go by so fast." He turned out of the driveway and headed towards Goosedown.

"You're doing a good job, Jack. When L.D. first told me about you and Ennis, well, I didn't believe it. I was angry, too. Lureen was my friend, same as you were, and you guys always seemed to be okay. And then, to hear . . ." she trailed off quietly.

"I know. Musta been quite a shock." He looked at her and sighed, realizing she was still struggling with trying to understand. "Marryin' Lureen was a mistake, but I did love her, in my way. We didn't have a bad life t'gether. I just always loved someone else, in my heart. But I wouldn't give up Bobby fer nothin' in the world."

"Ennis is good with him."

"He loves him, just like he loves his daughters."

"I can tell." She was quiet for a moment. "I hope things work out for you, Jack."

"Me too."

They arrived at the hotel and Jack walked her in to her room "Think you'll ever come down to Texas again, Jack?"

"I don't know. Might take Bobby down to see his grandparents sometimes, depending, you know, on what happens."

"If you do, you make sure you come by. Keep in touch with us, okay? And you can bring Ennis with you, if you want. He's welcome in our home."

"Thanks, Maria. That means a lot t'me. I will. You take care." He gave her a hug. "Thank you, so much, for what you said today."

She pulled back and smiled at him. "I swore t'tell the truth and that's what I did." She leaned in and kissed his cheek, then turned and went into her room.

* * *

Ennis sat on the kitchen counter and waited for the phone on the other line to ring. When it did, it was picked up after two rings and a familiar voice said, "Hello?"

"Hi, Alma, it's Ennis. The girls around?"

"Sure, hold on." He heard her hand the phone off and say, "It's yer daddy."

Junior came on the line. "Daddy! Hi, how come yer callin' today? You usually call on Sundays."

"I need a reason to call my girls?"

She giggled. "Course not, silly."

"Good. How are ya?"

"I'm just fine, daddy, just fine. I got an A on my English test yesterday. We're startin' t'do some creative writing and I wrote a poem and my teacher said it was real good. Maybe I could send you a copy of it?"

"I'd love that, darlin'."

"Okay, I'll write ya a letter and put the poem in."

Ennis's heart ached, to hear her excitement and pride in her voice. He missed being there, with them, but didn't want them to know, so he tried to keep the sadness out of his voice. "How're yer other classes going?"

"Good, except fer math. I hate math. I'm no good at it."

"Just do yer best."

She sighed and said, "I'll try, daddy. You wanna talk t'Franny? She just came in."

"Sure."

"'Kay. I love you, daddy, an' I sure do miss you."

"Me too, Junior, me too."

Franny got on the line. "Hi, daddy! How're you?"

"I'm good, sweetpea. Where were you? Junior said you just came in."

"I was outside playin' hopscotch with my friend Jenny. She lives next door and we're in the same class."

"That's nice."

"Most of the time it is. Sometimes we argue, but we make up pretty quick." Ennis chuckled at her matter-of-fact tone.

"How's school goin'?"

"Well, I don't like school that much, daddy."

"Why not?"

"It's just too much work. I got homework almost every night!"

"You get it done?"

"Yes, sir, but I sure don't like it. I kinda like math, though. That's my best subject."

"Well, at least that's somethin'. Maybe you can help yer sister."

"If she lets me. Oh, I gotta go. Mama's callin' us t'supper. I'm sure glad ya called daddy. I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetpea."

"I love you, daddy. Wait! Mama wants t'talk t'you."

"Love you, too, darlin'."

"Ennis?" Alma asked, as if unsure that he was still on the line.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Just wanted t'tell ya that yer sister stopped me in the store the other day. Seems she's lookin' fer you."

"What'd she want?"

"Well, I don't know, I didn't ask her. She asked where she could find you and I told her you were in Minnesota."

Ennis grunted, unsure what the proper reply was.

"Is it a secret, where ya are?"

"No, 'course not, it's just, I haven't talked t'her fer years. Don't know what she'd want."

"Well, me neither an' our supper's gettin' cold, so I gotta go. Just thought ya might wanna know." Ennis watched Jack walk in from outside and put on a pot of hot water for cocoa.

"All right, thanks, Alma." Jack's eyebrow raised at the name. "I'll call the girls on Sunday, like usual."

"Sure 'nough. Bye." They both hung up.

Jack walked over to stand in front of him. "You were talkin' t'Alma?"

"You jealous?" Ennis asked, hooking his fingers in Jack's belt loops and pulled him closer.

"Yeah, I'm so afraid yer gonna leave me fer her." He rolled his eyes.

"Okay, smartass, just fer that, I ain't gonna tell ya why I was talkin' t'her."

"Oh, come on." Jack arched up and kissed him, sliding his tongue along the slight part in Ennis's lips.

"Mmm . . . maybe if ya give me one more o' them I might be persuaded." Jack kissed him again, lingering longer this time and nudging himself between Ennis's knees. When they broke apart he said, "Do any more o' that and I'll ferget I even talked t'Alma."

"That's my goal, cowboy." He kissed Ennis again, wrapped his arms around Ennis's waist to bring them closer together and by the time they broke apart, they were both breathing heavy. "So, what'd she want?"

"My sister was in Riverton and askin' fer me, wonderin' where I'm at."

"Yer sister?"

"Yeah, remember, I told you she married a roughneck? Ain't seen her in years. Her or my brother." He pulled Jack close again, "But I really don't wanna talk about that. When d'you halfta pick Bobby up from seein' his grandma and grandpa?"

"Eight."

Ennis leaned in for another long kiss, then hopped off the counter. "Come on, that gives us more'n an hour." He grabbed Jack's hand and pulled him toward the stairs leading up to the loft.

"What'd you have in mind?" Jack asked, his eyes twinkling, letting Ennis pull him along.

"Come on. I'll show ya. You know I'm better with showin' than tellin'."

"Don't I know it," Jack murmured. They reached the bedroom; Jack shut the door behind them and leaned against it. "Okay, show me," he said, the sparkle in his eyes replaced with hooded desire.

In spite of their worry about what the judge would decide, things slowly went back to normal at the farm. The next few weeks were filled with work, homework, and the search for a new farmhand to replace Tyler. Ennis was ready to give up. No one that they talked to was good enough, but he knew they'd have to find someone soon. Luckily, Beau was a quick learner and he was getting more competent every day, but it didn't erase the fact that they still needed more help. Jack didn't worry about it too much, said they'd find someone soon enough.

* * *

Tuesday, the fifth of October was an ordinary day. They'd had an early supper and Bobby had already taken his bath. He'd fallen asleep on the floor, his head pillowed on a rolled up blanket, in front of the television. Ennis sat on one end of the couch, his feet up on the coffee table, while Jack was stretched out full length on the couch, his head in Ennis's lap. He had Ennis's hand clasped in his, held close to his chest, while they watched a new episode of 'Happy Days'.

The phone rang and Jack jumped up to answer it. Bobby didn't even stir. Ennis was thinking he should probably get up and carry him up to bed when he heard Jack say, "You're kidding. Are you sure?"

Ennis turned to look at Jack and his heart clenched when he saw that Jack's eyes were swimming in unshed tears, his hand over his mouth. He got up and went to him, but stood back, unsure.

"Yeah, okay. Thank you, Anna. Thanks fer everything." He hung up the phone and pulled Ennis into a hard hug and clung to him, his body shaking with emotion.

"Jack? You okay? What'd she say?" Ennis ran his hand up and down Jack's back, trying to soothe the trembling.

Jack pressed his face into Ennis's neck before he pulled back and looked into the chocolate eyes. "She said she woulda called sooner, but she was in court all day. She brought her work mail home and just opened it and there was an order from the judge on our case. He said it was in Bobby's best interest," Jack paused and took a steadying breath, "fer Bobby t'stay with his daddy. To stay with me." His sapphire eyes shone with tears that would still not fall. "He said I get t'keep him, Ennis. Me."

Ennis cleared his throat hard, shook his head, felt the welling in his own eyes. "Well, course ya do. Yer his daddy. Glad that judge was smart enough t'say so." Ennis ran his hand down Jack's cheek, leaned in for a soft kiss, then pulled him into an embrace. They were still standing there, holding each other up, when they heard Bobby next to them. They drew apart and looked down.

Bobby was in his cowboy pajamas, thick socks on his feet, and was rubbing his eyes and yawning. "I'm goin' up t'bed. G'night, daddy. Night, dad."

Jack leaned down and gave him a long hug. "Good night, son. I love you."

Bobby looked at him for a moment. He knew something was different, but he was too tired to sort it out, so he just said, almost as a question, "I love you, too, daddy." Jack let him go and he shuffled up the stairs and into his room.

Jack turned back to Ennis. "We're goin' out tomorrow. Got two things t'celebrate."

"Two?"

"Two. First one is victory over L.D. Newsome. I only wish I coulda been there t'see the look on his fuckin' face when he found out the news." He looked off into space, a satisfied smile on his face.

"Jack? What's the other thing we got t'celebrate?"

Jack looked back at him, still smiling, but his eyes got a mischievous twinkle in them. "Just so happens that the most handsome cowboy in the whole wide world is havin' a birthday tomorrow."

Ennis smiled at him. "It's yer birthday tomorrow? I thought it was in November."

"Very funny. It's your birthday, dumbass, which you very well know."

"I know, but you threw me off with that 'handsome cowboy' thing."

Jack took Ennis's face in his hands and leaned close, forehead to forehead, his eyes lingering on lips before moving up to look into the brown eyes. "You're the most handsome cowboy, the most beautiful man, I've ever seen." He kissed the lips he'd just been admiring, then drew back a bit, but didn't drop his hands. "Thank you, Ennis, fer standin' by me, fer believin' in me."

Ennis cut his eyes away and blushed. "Don't need t'thank me fer that, Jack. What else was I s'posed t'do? Yer my life." His voice dropped to a whisper. "My angel."

Jack's eyes filled with tears again and he didn't trust himself to talk for a moment. When he did, he said, "Come on, let's go t'bed."

Jack parked the truck in front of Willow Bay and he, Bobby, and Ennis got out.

"Hey, dad, isn't that Beau's motorcycle?" Bobby asked.

Ennis squinted at it. "Yeah, I think yer right. Maybe he's here fer supper, too."

Jack didn't say anything, but if Ennis had been watching his face he would've seen a secret, knowing smile cross his lips before he schooled them to nonchalance. He opened the door and held it for Ennis and Bobby.

Ennis went in and stopped, allowing his eyes to adjust to the dim interior. When he finally started forward, he stopped again, almost immediately, and turned back to look at Jack. "What's all this?"

"All what?"

"You plan this?"

Jack feigned innocence, but wasn't very good at it. "I didn't plan nothin'. Mighta mentioned to a coupla friends that we were havin' supper here tonight."

Ennis lowered his head, shaking it back and forth, looked back at Jack and tried to look indignant, but, like Jack, was having no luck with making his face do what he wanted, and Jack saw the twinkle in his eyes when he glanced back at Jack before walking into the dining room. There was only one table of people in the restaurant, but it was a table made of several tables that had been moved together to form one long one. Seated around it were Alice, Kelly, Anna, Nancy, Beau, Janie, Tyler, and the entire McIntyre clan. Bobby took a seat next to Danny, while Jack and Ennis took the two empty seats between Anna and Kelly. There were greetings all around and Ennis felt a bittersweet happiness, thinking that two more guests would make this the perfect celebration. Jack, as if reading his mind, touched his hand under the table and squeezed his fingers in sympathy.

Jack leaned toward Alice. "If yer out here, who's cooking?"

"Ida Olson does most of the cooking on the days I have off. She's pretty good," Alice said.

"Not as good as my mom, though," Kelly said.

"There's prob'ly no one cooks as good as yer mom," Jack said and smiled wide at Alice.

"Oh, you." She blushed like a young girl. "You're probably just hoping I'll send more goodies with Kelly. I made some of those chocolate chip cookies you like so much. I'll send some tomorrow."

"I am and it worked like a charm," he said and winked at her. Everyone laughed before they settled down to order. The table was filled with chatter, laughter, and soon, good food.

They had finished eating and were waiting for desert when Ennis leaned close to Jack and whispered, "It's prob'ly a good thing we're the only ones here. I'm sure there'd be some complaining if anyone else was here. We ain't exactly a quiet group."

"Ain't it funny how fate works sometimes? Sometimes it seems like she's really lookin' out fer us."

"Yeah," Ennis said softly. He leaned back in his chair and rested one arm across the back of Jack's chair. Every once in a while his fingertips would reach out and brush against Jack's soft denim shirt and he'd send up a prayer of thanks.

Ennis was in between the juxtaposition of sleeping and waking, where dreams and memories sometimes merge into a tangle, to be sorted out in the light of day. He knew it was near morning and had a vague thought of getting up, but he was so comfortable that the thought, if it could even be called that, passed. He shifted under the covers, nuzzling deeper into the pillow, as another memory dream took him over and he was lost again. He turned onto his back and stretched his long legs out, one hand on his chest, the other by his side, nestled between his body and Jack's warm back.

Ennis slept for a while, then woke for real. The past few days had been unseasonably warm, even though it was October, but now the wind was blowing in, lifting the curtains with ghostly fingers. It had started raining and he knew the rain was coming in. He slipped from the bed and went to the window to close it. It was almost morning; just starting to get light, in spite of the dark clouds. He stood there for a while, looking out at the trees and the lake in the distance, not noticing that the room was cold in the chill air.

He heard a hitch in the steady breathing behind him. "Ennis..." a sleepy voice called out. Ennis rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. "I'm here, darlin'."

"Come back here. I'm cold. Come'n warm me up." Ennis finally realized that he was getting cold. He went back to the bed and crawled in between the flannel sheets and snuggled up to Jack's back. Jack's warm skin felt like fire next to his chilled skin. "You're not cold," he murmured.

"Goddamn, Ennis, you're freezin'." He turned in Ennis's arms to face him.

"Well, I reckon you'll just have to warm me up, then, won'tcha?" He smiled as Jack pulled him close, their legs and arms entwining beneath the heavy quilt.

Jack kissed him, letting it deepen for a moment before pulling away, smiling his sexy, sleepy smile. "I reckon I will."

* * *

Dreams

I awoke slowly from the depths of my dream  
and realized quickly that life  
isn't always what it seems.  
The day emerges out of darkness  
and the trees outside are silhouetted  
black against the bone colored sky  
and the clouds are ominously dark  
as they roll by above the trees.  
And the world is sacredly silent  
in the quiet of the dawning of the day,  
here in the early morning,  
where peace is always free  
and it's easy to believe in perfection,  
but that's only my perception.  
Who can determine what is real  
when life has you in its grasp  
and dreams float effortlessly by.  
Are they really out of reach?  
Or merely a figment of our imagination?


End file.
